~Chapter 40 – Our Sweet Connection~

            Sehun had been walking for a while already, he had lost track of the time but the sun was already beginning to set as he walked aimlessly around the campus. As he walked the words that Luhan told him were constantly thought over and over, the faces of each of his friends flashing through his mind.

            Eventually as Sehun continued his walk, his feet had somehow taken him to the secluded bench that he had seen the fireworks the first night of the Treats Festival with Luhan.

            Sehun paused as he saw the bench and then approached it. The memory of what happened here ran through Sehun’s mind as he took a tentative seat on the bench.

            He let out a quiet sigh. ‘Everything is such a mess…’

            Sehun looked up to see flowers blooming on the tree branches above him ‘But even with everything that’s going on things continue to move forward…’

            Sehun swallowed as he felt his chest constrict again ‘The past left traumatizing scars and I don’t even know if I can let go of what I fear most…’

            ‘I don’t even know if I can get over this…’

            ‘I don’t even know if things will truly get better…’

            Sehun’s parents entered his thoughts ‘I am not a dog to be commanded nor am I tool to be used but through their eyes that’s not the case…’

            Sehun clenched his fists at his sides ‘But they won’t change especially not after being like that for so long…’

            Memories of his aunt Kyuri and his old elementary school resurfaced. The memories where he laughed freely and played with a light heart, where he was still innocent from the chaos of the reality his parents showed him.

            ‘There’s no way to make up for that lost time… All that’s left are distant memories…’

            The wind suddenly picked up rustling the leaves on the tree, Sehun watched as one of the flowers fell from the tree and floated off, the wind taking the flower afloat towards the directions of the dorms.

            As Sehun looked in that direction he instantly thought of the others who were all back at the dorm. He thought of their craziness, their weirdness, their idiocy, and their overall cheeriness and closeness.

            In the past he would have never thought to have found himself in this situation where he would have made such amazing friends as them because no matter what Sehun always kept a distance and even if the distance wasn’t enough to keep people out he had his wall of indifference that usually blocked people off completely.

            After going through the things he went through, it was almost like an instinct to him to keep people out and away so that they couldn’t get close. So that if he ever was to somehow lose them completely like he did with the others that he kept close to his heart, it wouldn’t hurt him. He would be able to shrug it off and stand back up and continue walking, continue moving forward without having to look back.

            Indifference had saved him from the suffering and pain.

            That was his initial thinking for the past few years.

            But now it’s a different story, it’s no longer that way. Because slowly but surely each and every one of the occupants of the tea house dorm had wormed their way into his heart and permanently attached themselves there.

            Xiumin with his caring nature.

            Kris with his clumsiness.

            Suho with his protectiveness.

            Lay with his insane kindness.

            Baekhyun with his sassiness.

            Chen with his good-natured self.

            Chanyeol with his optimism.

            DO with his shyness.

            Tao with his bluntness.

            Kai with his playfulness.

            And of course there’s Luhan who held on to the biggest part of Sehun’s heart because without even knowing what was going on, he had fallen head over heels for the deer eyed boy. Luhan with his love.

            And in all honesty it frightened Sehun, it terrified him so much because he doesn’t know what his limits are anymore, he doesn’t know if he would be able to take it if they were suddenly ripped out of his grasp as well…

            Sehun’s heart had grown fragile as time continued to pass while at SMACSE, when he first entered this school that faithful day his heart was frozen solid, untouchable.

            But as the school year progressed he found that little by little it began to defrost and actually melt, his indifference wasn’t as rock solid as he had originally thought and he didn’t even take notice until that shield nearly melted away.

            It had felt nice, it felt nice to be able to be with the others, it felt nice to be included, it felt nice to be surrounded by warmth after hiding away behind a cold indifferent façade for so so so long.

            It felt nice to feel again…

            He had opened his heart once more after all this time and formed ties with eleven people that he knew would never allow him to break those bonds.

            Especially not Luhan and Sehun didn’t want that bond to break either, he wanted to cling to it and hold on to it forever because Luhan was the first everything for Sehun after so long in nothingness.

            But despite all this, when his parents showed up and confronted him again it was as if a wave of cold water was finally splashed on Sehun once again showing him the reality that he needed to face.

            His fears and insecurities resurfaced, locking his heart instantly and blocking any of the warmth from invading it, pushing the others away from him in an attempt to shield himself from any more pain.

            But the thing was as Sehun pushed them away he started to hurt even more, his indifference had a crack and his feelings were leaking profusely out of it. He wanted to shut them all out and away, to forget his bonds and hide once more, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it because it hurt even more than just facing it head on like he should.

            Luhan’s words echoed in Sehun’s mind “Then what about me!? What about our friends at the dorm who are all waiting for you!? What about us!? Aren’t we anything to you!?”

            ‘I want to answer those questions with the truth but I’m terrified of what the truth really is…’ Sehun leaned back a bit and looked upwards towards the flowers on the tree once more ‘I don’t have the courage to face it, not like this…’

            A sudden shout from his left was heard but Sehun didn’t really hear it very well, all he really heard was footsteps approaching his spot at a very fast speed and he simply assumed the person was only going to run right past him.

            So he was completely unprepared for the sudden arms that were thrown around his neck holding him in a tight embrace, the unique scent of sweets in a bakery filling his nose, and a warm chest pressed against his face while a shaky but familiar and out of breath voice blabbered right beside his ear “I’m so so sorry Sehun! Please! I’m so sorry! Those words that came out of my mouth weren’t what I meant to tell you, I let my frustration with everything get the