“Come back to me Pie………..”

My heart cries out loud screaming for a girl I barely know. I know it sounds ridiculous and pathetic. I just met her twice and it happened in such a brief of time but my heart says I miss her so much. I’m longing to see her again. I want to feel her again. I want to tell her that I’ve fallen in love with her. Yes, I fall in love with her at the very first moment our eyes meet. I fall hard for her. Well, love doesn’t choose with whom to fall. That’s why it being called falls in love. After all, wise man says LOVE IS BLIND.

It’s indeed blind. I am blinded by love because I fall in love with a girl, same gender as mine. I know how some people will react to such kind of relationship. Being labeled as lesbian, a homo and whatever people call it, I know it is still a taboo to some cultures. To some, it means living in a disgusting sin, a ticket to hell but it doesn’t matter to me. In fact actually, nothing else matter. All I want and need is her love for me. In an all, life doesn’t come with a manual.  

After the night I had with Puey, I now have set an aim in my life. I determined to find Pie and make her the happiest living person. The night we spent together, I swear with all my heart to never be the reason behind her tears. You may say I’m so full of myself but I saw in her eyes that she wants somebody to return her love. I just want to be the person for her unless she says otherwise.

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Day turns to week and so week turns to months but my first love still nowhere to be found. I can say, I’m almost giving up but in my heart I’m still holding on. I believe if we’re meant to be together, our destiny will leads us together.

Puey in the other hand, still supporting me. He spent more time at home ever since. Even though, I assure him to just pass me but he insist to stay. Maybe he is worried because of my past behavior. Well, I was so deeply sunk in my emotions that I refused to eat nor taking care of my health. His boyfriend too, (uh… what’s his name again? Oh yeah, I guess its Ivan-the--head!) he’s been staying with us on and off. Though I don’t really like the idea (you know why), but at least I won’t feel lonely staying at home.

I find the -head actually is a nice person. I remember he tried to offer some help several times but I refused since I hate the fact that I have to watch their lovey-dovey acts if I accept that. Imagine if we have to travel in his car, will you think the squid can restrain himself from not touching his boyfriend? He’s a squid for God sake. I don’t give that name simply to him if I never seen how his hands wandering around that -head’s body. It’s not because I’m being a jealousy but I just feels awkward. Hello, I’m still holding my V card here. Why do you think I’m being a jealousy to him? I don’t have any feelings for that -head of course. That will only make me a double gay, isn’t it? Okay, so I drop that topic now.

Sometimes, I have doubt in myself of why do I feel this way but my heart always reasoned out. Telling the brain to keep on replaying the beautiful night I had with my mystery Pie. It’s not that I’m lingering to the memory of what we did on the night only but her eyes telling me she needs somebody to love her.

I will not give up looking for you Pie…………..

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Hey there… another update from me. I know it’s in absolute short but at least I try to put the idea in written. Please don’t blame me. My working hours is really taking ¾ of my life. Hope you all stay on hold with me. Thanks for all the comments and subscriptions.  I really appreciate that. Thank you so much my dearest friends...