CHAPTER 21: Mess

 

Wangbi’s pov

2nd March 2014, 07:00 a.m.

Pann

Sunggyu declares to leave Infinite in their latest concert

[+489, -16] Such a shocking announcement and random decision

[+654, -34] I was there at the concert. I saw Gyu was crying when performing With and then he started to say that he wanted to tell us something. But suddenly the lighting went off, I thought that this is a brand new way to deliver an encore, but then he said with a serious tone that he decided to leave the group. I was shivering as I heard he said that. Never crossed my mind that this will be the last concert I saw Gyu with Infinite, really heartbreaking.

[+543, -12] I started to stan Infinite since their Come Back Again era, and Sunggyu is my main bias. Knowing he would be leaving the group broke me to pieces, I couldn’t accept this fact, please console me...

[+324, -9] Seemed Woolim also didn’t know about his decision, because the lighting suddenly turned off when he started to say. What bothering me is the reason why he left.. Losing passion? Why did he suddenly loosing passion? I couldn’t understand.

[+988, -1] Please don’t leave leadernim... T.T

 

Nate

INFINITE disbandment after the leader’s leaving

[+998, -1] Infinite wouldn’t be the same without Sunggyu.. He’s the main vocal.. I could only notice Infinite songs from his voice.. It will be a great lost

[+442, -98] Gyu said to keep support the other members, and before that the other members were telling us about their next projects, so disbandment is not an option.

[+6, -197] There’s still no official announcement from Woolim. But seeing the other members were bowing together with Gyu at the end, disbandment would be the most possible decision.

[+87,-76] When the leader was having a hardtimes, the other members were busy telling about their next projects, what a shame

 

seoulbeates.com

Losing passion, Sunggyu decided to leave Infinite

[+465, -13] There must be a reason for him to decide to leave the group that we couldn’t understand

[+32,-9] He was showing lack of performance since the early OGS World Tour. He barely did an adlib. Even in the airport he barely saw his fans’ faces. I didn’t know why people still stanning him.

[+145,-8] I heard that he was suffering from a troath lump. Is it the reason why he left? Is it really severe sickness? Please heal him..

 

The news of Sunggyu’s leaving Infinite spreading so fast via internet. Only for an hour, #SungyuleavingInfinite was trending in Korea and soon followed by other countries. @Kyuzizi, Gyu’s twitter account was flooded with mentions from his fans. Everything went crazy. Never crossed my mind that I have to witness Gyu’s confession about leaving Infinite. I came only for keeping my promise to him, but then what should I do after this? Should I talk to him? Should I convince him to stay?

 

Few hours before.

“Bi, have you tried your gown?” Dongnim asked from across the phone.

“I’m on my way to go there..” I answered as I drove my car to the wedding gown taylor.

“You should’ve try it sooner, Bi.. tsk tsk..”

“I’m quite busy with the moving you know.. By the way, where are you now?”

“I’m in the hospital..”

“Hey, what are you doing there, Mr.Groom? You should be with the bride..”

“I’m sorry.. It’s quite urgent too.. Anyway, don’t be too tired with the moving, you should prepare yourself for tomorrow..”

“Araseo.. just apply it to yourself, hum?”

He laughed, then said, “Okay, see you tomorrow, Bi..”

“Yeah, see you..”

I knew I shouldn’t make myself tired because of tomorrow’s event, but I had to do this thing for the last before I lived my new life. I looked up to the poster of tonight’s event that I wanted to attend. One Great Step Return Encore Concert.

 

-00-

 

I went to the Gymnasium and searching for my seat. I bought the back seat in the tribune area, I wanted to see the concert from the top view so I could see the ocean of orange color from the light stick. As I waiting for the concert I looked around and saw Inspirit’s excited faces, I was naturally smiling. It was such a long time I didn’t become one of them, being surrounded by the people who also love Gyu, the people who take care of him when I’m gone.

Not for so long, the concert started. My heart was beating so fast as I saw Gyu’s face again. I still clearly remembered how he looks when he told me to stop listening to his voice, how disappointed him to me. Now I could see him there on stage, shining as he started to sing.

The concert went well as usual, they showed us a synchronized dance and powerful voices. But I noticed something wrong with Gyu when the others telling us about their next projects, Gyu was kept silent. And at the end of the concert, I got the answer.

He told us that he is...... leaving Infinite.

My heart dropped as I heard he said that.

Gyu? Don’t!

“I.. I started to lose confidence.. I started to lose passion.. I couldn’t tell you the detail but in order to not disturb the stability of the group, I decided to leave..” He said.

Losing passion? Gyu, what are you saying? Is.. is it because of me?

“I’m sorry.. I’m really sorry.. Thank you for everything you did to me.. I was really grateful to have you with me all these times.. And I’m really sorry that I hurt you like this.. You can hate me as much as you want.. But please keep support Infinite.. The other members worked so hard to reach this state.. Please keep support them..” Then he bowed to the fans until his knees and forehead reaching the ground.

I couldn’t hold my tears as I watched he made a big bow. How could you do this, Gyu? How could you give up your dream this easily?

The other members were following him to make a big bow, and that was when I wanted to shout to them. Woohyun ah, why you let him leave?? Myungsoo yaa you should hold him, and don’t ever let him go! What are you doing guys??

But then, the lighting went off again for the second time and when it was again, they were already moved out from the stage.

I was frozen. I didn’t know what I should do. Should I go backstage and talk to him? Or should I just leave and forget about everything? I told myself that it would be the last time, so I shouldn’t interfere his business. He can do whatever he wanted to. But why do I feel it was all because of me?

I was still there, seating in my position with other Inspirits who also get shocked over his statement. Is it really the end of Infinite’s Sunggyu?

 

-00-

 

After debating with myself for a while, I decided to go back to my apartment, and tried to erase what was just happened.

It’s not my businesss..I talked to myself.

But still, I found myself thinking about Gyu. Is he okay? Will he get scolded by Jungyeop Sajang?

I opened the internet wanted to know his fans reactions, and they were questioning why he suddenly made a decision to leave. Something that I really want to ask to him too, Is it because of me?

When I was drowning in my own thought, I got a phone call from Dongnim.

“Bi, have you heard the news?” He asked from across the phone.

I knew what he means, so I said, “Yeah..”

“Bi, are you alright?”

“I’m fine..” I lied.

“I invited him to the wedding.. Will you be okay to meet him?”

“It’s okay..” I lied again.

“I know you must be worry about him, but you should take a rest.. Drink a warm milk, it helps you to get sleep..”

“Okay..”

I lied to Dongnim that I will be alright, when I know I won’t. What should I do when I meet him again? Moreover after he said he quit Infinite, ottokeee? I hide my face on my thigh.

 

-00-

 

The morning came and I was getting ready to go to the hotel where the wedding being held. I looked at the mirror and said to myself, “Don’t do anything stupid, Bi.. It’s not your business anymore..”

Then I took my bag and started to go out.

Right after I reached the hotel, I went to the bride’s room and found her.

“Lee Seulbiii, Oh My God, you’re so beautiful..”

“You’re too, Bi.. The bridesmaid is prettier than the bride..”

“Of course not, you’re the prettiest here..”

“By the way Bi.. Have you heard the news?”

I sighed, Why should she remind me of it? But I managed to answer with, “Yeah..”

“Oppa invited him to come, will you be okay?”

“Of course I’ll be okay.. Don’t worry..”

“Why don’t you talk to him, Bi? Maybe he did that because he wants to be with you?” Seulbi said it with sincerity.

I hate to answer her with, “We’re over, Bi..”

She held my hands tried to give me some support and smile. “Wish the best for you, Bi..”

I smiled back to her.

 

-00-

 

The wedding started and I was playing my role as a bridesmaid. When I went inside the altar, I was naturally looking around, looking for that guy, Kim Sunggyu. Even though I said i don’t care whether he’ll be here or not, but my brain unconsciously looking for him. Guessed I wanted to meet him.

I was standing in the side of the altar witnessing Dong-nim and Seulbi saying their vows. Never crossed in my mind before that Dongnim will find his true love in Imja Island, the place where I isolated myself. I still remembered he came to Imja Island to meet me, but then he was falling in love for the first sight when meeting Seulbi. Dongnim tried so hard to get Seulbi’s heart, even though he got rejected three times, but he never gives up until Seulbi said yes. Their loveline was really romantic. Dongnim was really expressive when showing his love to Seulbi, he also tried to get the heart of her parents. Even though Seoul-Imja Island was really far, but he can manage to visit her once a week. I still remembered when he said, “If you are really mean to him, he must have time for you.. No matter what.. He will make it.." Does Gyu leave Infinite because of me? I suddenly have that thought but I snapped back myself to reality. What am I thinking? He didn’t even come to meet me here..

I couldn’t lie to myself that I was disappointed that I didn’t see him here. Guessed I was too much anticipated for our meeting. Until the wedding party was over, I didn’t see Gyu. When the bride and groom were ready to get inside their car, Seulbi asked me to get her hairpin in the bride’s room and kept it. I nodded to her and waved my hands to them.

I walked back to the bride’s room, and looking for Seulbi’s hairpin, but there was nothing in the table. But suddenly I heard someone calling my name.

“Bi...”

This voice was really familiar.

I turned around and saw him, the guy who I’ve been looking for, Kim Sunggyu.

 

-00-

 

“Bi....”

I didn’t know why but my eyes started to get teary as I saw him walked closer to me.

“You looked so beautiful..”

“Gyu, what have you done?” I couldn’t control myself not to ask.

“Did you hear the news?”

“You shouldn’t do that, Gyu.. How could you let go of your dream that easily? What have you thought?”

“I think about you.. I just realized that you’re above anything.. I wanna be with you, Bi..”

“Don’t... say that..” I cut his words, but he kept talking.

“Now I can come to you and offer a future together..”

“No! We don’t, Gyu.. How could I survive seeing the one I loved losing his dream because of me??” I was a bit yell at him. I was just too drown in my emotion, until I didn’t realized what I have said.

He smiled. “The one you loved? I know you still love me, Bi...”

“Gyu, it’s not the time to talk about it! Don’t you know how sad your fans are when you said you’re leaving Infinite?”

“Did you come to the concert?” He was surprised with my statement.

Dang! I slipped words again..

“Really? You came to the concert? Woah, I should’ve introduce you to them..”  I couldn’t believe he said that with his happiest tone.

So, I yelled at him, “GYU!!!”

“I’m sorry, Bi.. But I have made my decision.. I’m losing myself without you, I’m not the same Gyu without you..”

“But you shouldn’t sacrifice the other members because of this, Gyu..” I cut his words again.

“No.. I leave because I don’t want to disappoint them more and more, Bi.. You don’t know how hard these months for them because of my lack performance..”

“So, you’re the one who should change..”

“I did this to change, Bi.. I have to find you first.. my missing piece..”

I had no words to reply him.

He tried to reach my hands as he said, “Just go back wit