CHAPTER 16: Anger

The rumor kept spreading around and I saw more and more hurtful comments about Myung, Doyeon, and Woolim. There was also gossip about Myung’s leaving the group and group disbandment because the members were fighting. Oh Gosh, no no.. My bad dream shouldn’t become real..

There were so many drama articles here and there and it made me sick. But it wasn’t only that, Mom and Dad started to lecture me again, or maybe I should say, they tried to remind me again about my future with Gyu. They said they didn’t want to see me get through hard times, so I better stop it right now. But how could I stop it when I couldn’t stop loving him? They told me to become realistic and accept the fact that me and Gyu was not supposed to be together. Huh? What words were that? If we’re not supposed to be together, then what happen with all those fu*king FOUR years that we’ve been through together?? These all are nonsense..

-00-

Seemed like everything was meant to feed me up, just like how Naeun suddenly visited me in the hospital. She brought a box filled with Infinite albums, photo cards, posters, L’s Bravo Viewtiful photobook, fan site photobook, Infinite calendars, tumblr, shirts, love letters, and many fangirling things.

“Why’d you give me this?” I asked her.

“Because I want to remove everything that reminded me of him..” Naeun answered it fast.

I chuckled. “Huh? It doesn’t answer, WHY do you give all of these things to me?”

“I want you to give it back to that jerk..”

“THAT JERK?” I was surprised by the name she gave to him. I still remembered how she called him her lovely L oppa back then. “Who’s that jerk? Kim Myungsoo?”

“Ooooh, don’t mention his name.... You hurt my ear..” She acted like she was irritated by my words.

I couldn’t believe her act, I couldn’t say anything to respond her.

“Unnie... tell him that I Officially UNSTAN him.. Goodbye..” She said that firmly.

I looked at her in the eye and asked, “Why?”

“WHY?? You’re asking me whhyy??? Heoool...” She responded with full of emotional.

“Yes, why? Is it because he’s dating?? What’s wrong with him dating?? He’s also a human.. He needs to love and be loved! And who are you to judge him like that, HUH???” I was more emotional than her.

“Unnie.. What’s wrong with you?” Naeun looked confused of my sudden rant.

I massaged my temple and said, “Take it back and go!” I gave that box to her and then went away, leaving her alone.

I went to a toilet and sat on the toilet seat while covering my face. I was angry to Naeun for no reason. I just angry.. I just.. angry..

-00-

But that was not the end, because what happened next was way too much made me angry.

Geonam manager called and told me that Jungyeop CEO wants to meet me at the cafe he reserved this evening. There were many questions in my head why he wanted to meet me. And I had bad feeling about this meeting, but I decided to meet him.

Then after finishing my morning shift, I went there.

He was already there when I came.

“Hello, Oh Wangbi ssi.. Please have a seat..” He greeted me and let me sat.

I sat across him and waited what he wants to say.

“It’s such a long time we didn’t meet, right?” He tried to be friendly.

But I only gave him a forced smile. I am not in the good mood to play with you, Sir..

“Well.. How’s your residency? I heard that it was the hardest years for a medical student..”

“I’m sorry, could you please just cut to the chase and tell me what you want to say..” I didn’t have much patience to have a mere chit-chat with him.

“Okay.. I know that you’ve been with Infinite for such a long time.. You even have been with them before their debut.. So you must know how hard their efforts to reach this state..”

I listened to him carefully.

“And this moment should be the peak of their career.. Their latest album, New Challenge, got a huge success as it make it as the best-selling album for the month of March and placed at number one in most of the charts.. So it led me to the idea of expanding the global market.. I made a plan to make their first world tour this year.. And I’m gonna tell you, that was not easy.. Not only for me, but also for them.. They already prepared themselves for the world tour.. Because usually, a group will have their world tour if they have been in the industry for more than four years, but Infinite will make it on their 3rd year, so they have some kind of weight on their shoulders to do it well.. And I really supported them.. I also made a worldwide album, Destiny, as a warm-up to make them ready for the world tour.. You know that they even have to fly to LA to shoot that music video..”

He talked too much.

“But.. one thing happened and ruined everything...”

“Myung’s relationship?” I asked with a poker face.

“Yes... His dating scandal is ruined everything.. I allowed the boys to have girlfriends because it will help them to build the emotion while they singing.. And I’m happy if they are happy with their girlfriends.. But this time, Myung’s relationship broke him down.. No, it broke Infinite down.. Fans were leaving, Myung’s CF got terminated, many parties that worked in the world tour canceled the contract.. The time when it should be the peak of Infinite career just broke down to the lowest.. And I’m really sad to see their hard work become useless..”

“It’s not Myung’s mistake..” I simply responded.

“Yeah.. it’s not.. Personally, I don’t blame him.. But we can’t control the situation.. We can’t control public’s opinion on him.. And I’m sure that you read the comments.. How harsh their opinion to Myung and his ex-girlfriend..”

”Ex-girlfriend.. yep..” I pointed that word out.

“Yes.. She decided to leave Myung.. And I know that it was her best decision..”

“Best decision? Huh?” I laughed to hear his words.

“She got through hard times because of this scandal.. And I don’t want you to experience it..” He finally said a thing that I guessed he would say.

“You want me to break up with Gyu?” I asked him in the eye.

“I want you to consider his and your future, Wangbi ssi.. I know you’ve been with him since the beginning, so you know exactly how hard he tried to be in this state..”

“Yes! I’ve been with him since the beginning, I’ve been with him through your slavery training, I’ve been with him through his hard times as Infinite leader.. And now, you just ask me to break up with him?” I asked him desperately.

“I know it.. I know it exactly.. That’s why I want you to consider your and his future.. You know that your relationship is risky..”

“You’re scared that my relationship with Gyu will affect Infinite, uhm? So you want to draw the line, just like what you did to Tablo and Doyeon, right?” I paused to laugh. “You’re always like that.. You always push away people who will affect Infinite.. “ I chuckled and then laughed again more sarcastically.

“I tried my best to keep them in this industry.. Because that’s their dream.. That’s Gyu’s dream.”

“DONT! Don’t use Gyu as your excuse..” I cut his words. “Did he know you’re requesting me this?”

He bent his head down, but then looked up again and said, “I will tell him after I got your decision..”

“What?? This is really funny..” I said it as I shook my head, then I looked up and said, “I’m sorry Jungyeop sajang, but.. you can’t control me.. I’m not your talent, I’m not under your company’s contract.. So.. discuss it with Gyu.. not with me.. Excuse me..” I got up and started to walk, but then..

He said, “I know he won’t let you go..”

I turned my head to look at him.

“I know he won’t let you go.. So I ask you instead.. If you really love him, then you should know what’s best to do..”

I frowned. His words were way too much to handle. I bowed to him for the last time and went away.

-00-

I went inside my car and started to feel short of breath. I held my chest as I tried to gasp an air. I shouldn’t absorb his words. I shouldn’t hear his words at all. I should’ve just left that time. Now it made me really sick. It made me cry so hard.

-00-

If you really love him, then you should know what’s best to do..

But Jungyeop sajang’s words still echoing in my head, it kept replaying and replaying again. It made me lost focus. I started to wander around like a soulless person. I forgot to eat, I didn’t notice that Hyeri talked to me, I ever stayed in my car for 30 minutes without doing anything instead replaying those words in my head. Dong-nim really worried about me, sometimes he offered to take me home or be someone to talk to. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say anything to him, I even too scared to say it by myself. I was too scared to admit that what Jungyeop sajang’s said was right.

But my unstable psychology gave a big negative effect to me as a physician, it led me to make the worst mistake that I could ever imagine. I nearly made my patient die.

I was sitting in the hospital park, looking at the stars at that midnight, when Hyeri came with a panic face.

“Oh Wangbi, have you check Soeun’s potassium’s level, haven’t you?”

I sensed bad thing happened. “Yes, why?”

“Did you do it right? She’s in cardiac arrest right now...” Hyeri said in panic.

My hearts was dropped when I heard she said that. “Oh My God!”

We were running to the intervention room.

I washed my hands and covered myself with a sterile cloth before went inside the room, and then Doctor directly asked me, “How much you gave her potassium-enriched liquids?”

I was so focus on Soeun who lied on the bed with all of those medical equipments around her, until I couldn’t answer Doctor’s question.

“How much you gave her?? Her potassium is off the scale! What have you done