CHAPTER 11: Insecurity

2011

Gyu was not available because he was busy preparing Infinite’s second album, Evolution, which would be released in January. So, I spent New Year’s Eve with my family in Jeonju. That was when they asked me something.

“Bi, don’t you have a boyfriend?” Mom asked.

I didn’t want to lie to her, but I couldn’t say that I have boyfriend named Kim Sunggyu the member of the boy group. “No.. I don’t..” I forced a smile.

“Well, why don’t you take Dongwoon as a consideration?” Mom said.

“Dong-nim?? No Mom.. He’s just a friend..” I replied in fast.

“Hey.. he also doesn’t have girlfriend, so why don’t you both try?”

“I’m not thinking about relationship Mom.. SNU thingy is just enough.. I can’t handle another thing..”

“Okay fine...”

Lying and hiding had become my ability as I stayed as Gyu’s secret girlfriend. Moreover when they were getting famous because of Before The Dawn and Be Mine. Be Mine even brought them to win two consecutive #1 wins at M! Countdown. Gyu and the members were so happy until they cried on stage. I chuckled to see them cried, but the tears were also escaped my eyes without I noticed. Seemed I knew how hard they’ve been worked, so I was also beyond happy until I shed happy tears.

I didn’t hope anything to come after their winning, but seemed I got my Gyu back, because that day Gyu was back to me in a whole day.

It was six in the morning when he came to my apartment.

“Gyuuuu.” I was directly hugging him so tight.

We pulled apart and he asked me, “How are you, Bi? It felt such a long time, I didn’t meet you..”

“I’m sick.. I’m sick of missing you..” I pouted and it made him chuckled.

“You’re so cute if you make that face..” He pinched my cheeks softly.

We spent the day with chatting about his life as a rookie singer and my life as an SNU student, we both tried to compile our own story pieces into one. I was really happy that day because I could spend my day with my lovely Gyu, but I was happier when he gave me that thing.

He said to me that he already reserved a place for us to have dinner. He even bought me a dress and shoes. I was really surprised that he did that thing, but I was also scared because when we got outside there would come risk that we could’ve been spotted by his fans or even reporters.

“Gyu, do we really need to eat here? Let’s just go back to the apartment...” I said it as I looked around the restaurant.

“Bi, it is safe. Don’t you look that this quite isolated, they can’t see us.. Just calm yourself.. You’ll make it suspicious if you act that way..” Gyu tried to calm me.

“Yeah, but-“

“I’m not that famous yet, Bi.. So, don’t worry..” He cut my words.

I took a deep breath and said, “Okay...”

He smiled at me and said, “Bi, you’re so beautiful today...”

I was blushing when hearing his words until I couldn’t say anything.

“Seems you’re speechless..” He teased me.

“Yeah...” I nodded. “But Gyu, I was so happy to spend time with you today, you don’t have to make this special event for me.. Being with you is more than enough..”

“Is throwing an event for my lovely girlfriend wrong?” He asked me.

And I didn’t know how to answer it.

He held my hands and said, “Bi, a chance like this is like once in a lifetime.. I didn’t know when I can have time like this again, so that’s why I want to make it as the most special day for us..”

I was looking at him in the eye and I felt so warm.

“Bi, do you know how much I thanked God for sending you to me?” Gyu said in his honest tone. “I always feel really blessed because I have you..”

“I don’t do anything for you, Gyu..”

“You did everything for me, Bi.. You always by my side, you become my home..” He said it and then walked to me and stood behind my back.

When I wanted to turn my head to look at him, he placed a necklace on my neck. I lifted the pendant and it was an infinite symbol.

“What is it, Gyu?” I asked him.

“That’s my gift..” He said it as he went back to his seat.

“One of Infinite’s merchandise?” I asked playfully.

He smirked, “Bi.. It’s the time for us to be romantic, why you ruined it?”

“Sorry.. But, what is it? Why’d you give it to me?”

“Is giving my lovely girl a gift a mistake?”

“No.. but-“

 “I want to tie you with me with that necklace, so you can’t go away..” He sighed. “Aaaah, seems Woohyun’s way couldn’t be applied to you, Bi..”

I chuckled. “So, this is Woohyun’s idea? Heol.. That’s why I feel something’s wrong with you, Gyu..”

He chuckled.

“Well, thank you for making this day special, Gyu.. I love it.. And about this necklace, I will make sure it stays in my neck, moreover when you have given mark on it?”

“Mark?” Gyu was surprised.

“This infinite symbol can be looked as S, right? S for Sunggyu..” I said it as I smiled.

“Huh? Oh, you’re