Hello Readers!

First things first: This is NOT an update which includes in-story bonus features. Yet.  You are welcome to scroll down through all this mess, however, and there you'll find a nice lovely link to a page that will alert you for when I do start posting extra scenes, extra stories and the like. 

In the meantime, consider this particular 'chapter' update as a very long Author's Note, whose purpose is to highlight and hopefully shed a little light on the behind-the-scenes story of Between Spotlights, the whys and hows, and in particular - what exactly happened in the epilogue. :D

SHIP-WRITING

Once again, thank you all for reading this. Between Spotlights started as an experimental 'can I even write a gay ship?' I think the answer to that now is... why yes, yes I can. I chose Kaibaek, something I didn't even ship at the time, because I hoped I could be objective while I wrote them, and not taken in too much by feels. Well, fail! I shipped them soon enough. I also shipped Xiuhan then (and now), and here comes the weird part: I used to ship Taoris. Taoris was my first ever ship before I even took Exo shipping seriously, and if you read the first half of this fic, you may well have thought that Taoris was going to be the main ship in character-Tao's life. I even meant for that to happen eventually.

As well you know, that didn't end up being the case - and it all has to do with what happened in May. I don't think I need to explain because why rehash old hurts. The point is that I was on holiday when that happened and by the time I came back I was hurt and confused and I didn't know what to do. I immediately had my in-story Kris character disappear from the main plotline. This was the first major divergence from what I had planned, and it threw me for a huge loop. I wanted to deal with it as delicately as I could, and that meant 'not dealing with it' for a time. It's your call to say whether or not I succeeded. By the time I had him 'come back' the story had moved on. And by then I had already accidentally set in motion what would turn out to be a new favorite ship: Taohun. 

Did you notice that Xiuhan, as a pair, got a whole bonus chapter, but Tao got a bonus chapter, alone, as a single character? It's because at this point I wanted Tao to be strong and independent, like how I wanted him to be in real life. And also I felt guilty because I had deleted the Taoris tag and replaced it with... nothing. I didn't want Taohun to become central to his side-story in a way that Xiuhan was because I didn't intend for it to happen. Happen it did of course, or at least it probably will - but not within the course of this fic. You may look forward to a special portion of Taohun in Beyond Spotlights. 

Sulay was also an accident. What can I say though. Suho was there being a grouch and Yixing was standing around doing nothing. They fell in love with each other okay?? I didn't have anything to do with that! And... as another intended offspring, I never tagged them, but you may also see them in the extra features. By the way, did anyone ever see the hidden!one-sided Kaisoo? No? Nobody? Oh well good, but it totally wasn't there. Ever. Like at all... /runs away.

THE DANCE WORLD

Why did I choose to write Spotlights' setting in a dance company? Because I used to be a dancer. And no, I was never a professional or anything close to it. I danced my whole life though and even did some big productions as a kid with a ballet company and I loved the heck out of it. Dance is something I know, and therefore I decided to recreate a portion of that. Besides, my main character was Kai, and we all know how well he dances.

So why did I take that dream from away from him? I can answer that one simply: because I'm evil lol. No, I'm not wholly mean like that. What I wanted to write though was a realistic story. So few people in the world end up doing what they thought they would. Kai in real life is a seriously lucky person who gets to dance for a career, and I wish him good health so he can do that for a long long time! But because I'm a masochist, I decided to take Kai and Baekhyun in Spotlights and flip them. Baekhyun has the talent and the career and the opportunities, and Kai has all the talent but not the ability to pursue it. By writing this switch I aimed to draw Kaibaek together as a couple.

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES

Kai in my story has a very severe form of scoliosis. Think back to this picture, which is an actual stick-figure recreation of what my own back and spine looks like. There are many people who have similar things, if not so severe, that are able to push pass it. Caught early enough, even deformities such as Kai's (or mine) might have been dealt with, or even been reversible. But medicine is not a perfect science and a lot of factors go into it depending on when the deformity is caught, how severe it is, or the kind of treatment and/or surgeries available. For Kai, it limited his abilities as a dancer and effectively halted his career. I wrote in Kai's mother as an advanced sort of optimist praying that all the physical therapy her son had done might allow him to pursue his dream a few years longer. Baekhyun as well as a slightly less optimistic but still strong supporter. Some bodies, however, just do not want to conform, like Kai's or like mine. A spinal curvature and bone deformity like that causes severe wear and tear on so many other parts of the body, nerves, etc. It can cause severe pain and spasms if you aggravate it. It can do the same even if you don't do much of anything. Lack of activity is also no fix, because then the muscles holding you up decrease and other problems occur. Kai would want to try and be somewhat active, but ultimately there is nothing you can do so salvage the kind of professional career like he wanted.

The epilogue surgery - it is not anything major, not a full reconstructive surgery. It was just a little thing to help reduce some of the aches and pains I hinted he was developing towards the latter half of Spotlights. I had one myself. Kai will be up and moderately active in no time, but no- he will still not be able to dance. Sadly, this means he gets to live out that part of his life through Baekhyun, but I hope I developed their relationship enough that they consider themselves equal and it doesn't turn to envy. I like to think they need each other equally. :)

That said, I liked the idea of Baekhyun as a strong character - even if he is a ham and totally lovable. I also love the idea of Kai as a person and not just defined as a dancer. Maybe I took that a little far in this fic though. Oops! Too late now. :)

BEYOND SPOTLIGHTS

So here comes the good part! I can hardly bear to be done with this au entirely. And yet, the story is complete and I do not want to keep adding things to it that clutter the fic page and mess up the flow of the story. And this is why I am bringing you a new addition-only story page: Beyond Spotlights! Cheesy title huh? Deal with it. :D

I hope you will subscribe. I do not promise deadlines or particular scenes or ships except for those I tag: namely Kaibaek (additional or side scenes to their story together), Taohun (yes yes I'm making it happen finally), Xiuhan because... Xiuhan, Sulay because why the hell not. Those are the only Spotlights-canon ships right now, but who knows. I might even drag out a reunion one day and bring in all the rest of the non-gay characters, or just write little drabbles for them too. Chen is after all still out there no doubt doing something awesome, and I never did manage to incorporate him into the larger Spotlights story.  :P

Read it all soon: Beyond Spotlights

Thank you for reading. And here, have a little Kaibaek before you go!  

Much love, Rosie

  LiveJournal | Twitter | Tumblr