SIX MONTHS FORWARD

“Miserable. I’m absolutely miserable. How can you even stand this place?!”

“Are you… going to put a shirt back on?” Kai asks.

Baekhyun is standing in the middle of a park, sweat seeping out of every pore in his body even though all they’ve done is walk around in the mid-summer Texas sun for ten minutes. Baekhyun already wants to go back to their nice, air-conditioned car. He doesn’t know how Kai managed to live here for a whole day. The fact that he lived here for several years makes even less sense.

“Uhh, actually yeah. Shirt is good. Shirt catches the sweat. Man I didn’t pack enough clothes for this trip. I am never letting you talk me into something like this again.” Baekhyun is full of complaints. He has been ever since they arrived here.

“You do know that millions of people find this weather pretty bearable?” Kai remarks.

“Have we really resorted to talking about the weather?”

Kai raises his eyebrows. “You started it.”

Baekhyun sticks out his tongue, dons his soaked t-shirt once more and then mimics with his hand wherever it is Kai wants them to go. Surely there are movie theaters or restaurants, or other indoor areas they can spend time in, but Kai just has to drag them all over the place, outdoors. Baekhyun will even take a museum right now if it’s cool inside.

“Fine,” Baekhyun says. “But no hugs. I’m too hot and miserable for body contact.”

“Hmm, okay. Since you were ultra cuddly in the wintertime back home.”

It’s only day two of their first ever trip together. As promised, Kai wanted to bring him here to meet the other half of his family. It was nice and exciting, but Baekhyun always imagined they would come during a holiday, preferably one that occurs during the cooler weather. This wasn’t how he pictured it. July when the temperatures were peaking around 96 degrees and everyone here said this was relatively cool for what it could be. Baekhyun would never understand these people.

“Come on. You won’t melt, much,” says Kai as he tries to corral him in a certain direction, all the while trying to obey Baekhyun’s request to leave skin-on-skin contact for another time. Probably Kai will rue the day he decided this was the most suitable time to bring him here, but then again with their respective schedules, there isn't much of a better option.

They're staying with Kai's dad for the time being, in one impersonal guest room down the hall from Kai's little half-brother. David is every bit as cute as he sounded on the phone, and he adores Baekhyun. Kai is immensely proud of this, but then the kid does share portions of his DNA so it was a given he'd like Baekhyun.

Really though, the second-best bonus to coming back was introducing Baekhyun to Monggu. Since the first moment Kai arrived in the house, the little dog has ignored every other living soul, including David, so excited was he to see and greet his first and one-time owner. Kai had gotten him as a puppy, a poor Christmas present from his mother, but even before he moved to Texas the puppy had outgrown their New York apartment, and honestly, Kai hadn't been well enough to properly look after him. David could though, and that was why he left him behind. 

The welcome home almost made up for it. Kai and Baekhyun are barricaded in their room, a reprieve of cool air and relative silence from the rest of the house. Kai's dad was respectful enough, but his step-mother was an question-hungry warrior for every detail about his life and even Kai had a limit for her kind of overly polite and formal nosiness. 

"This dog is great," says Baekhyun. He sits on the floor, back to the bed, petting only the tail end of the brown mottled poodle because the dog only has eyes for Kai sitting next to him. 

"Is there a 'but' to that?" Kai side-eyes him.

"I don't know. Is there?" Baekhyun asks himself, actually curious. 

"I still can't figure out if you're a dog person or not. You're obviously not a cat person-"

"Who says I don't like cats?" Baekhyun protests.

Kai laughs. "Uhm, you? Every time one sneaks onto your bed?"

"Only when you're on there too." He pouts. "Divided attention, and all that."

Kai snorts. "Whatever. I don't believe you."

Baekhyun huffs, but lets the conversation go. He worms the hand nearest to Kai through the barrier that is the poodle, and finds Kai's hand to hold. "How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Fine. Mostly," Kai answers. "I'm tired though."

"Hmmm, I bet. We did a lot of wandering around today."

Kai smiles. "Yes, but I missed this place. And I wanted you to see some of the places I liked. Won't get to do that after today."

"True," says Baekhyun. But he wishes Kai had gone a little easier on himself.

The last few months have been hectic for them, and a little bit stressful if Baekhyun is being honest. He's been busy, over-worked with rehearsals and performances and workshops. The holiday travel schedule was only the start of several more later winter trips, a few in the spring as well. He hasn't gotten to spend as much time with Kai as he would have liked. Most weekends, but not every weekend. A few evenings a week. Sometimes they only had time to eat lunch together, or to grab a late-night dinner before Baekhyun passes out on his bed, Kai beside him. 

He wishes he was a more ideal boyfriend, or that Baekhyun could at least have more time to be around him. There were definitely weeks when he thought he must be a failure, and he didn't know why Kai even bothered with him - yet each time they were reunited Kai never complained except to tell him a voice halfway to whiny that he missed him, that he was glad they were together now.

The other problem about being so busy was that every time Baekhyun came back, or finally got time for a legitimate date night, he noticed things different about Kai. Maybe if they were together all the time he wouldn't see it, but after spending three days, five days, a week and a half apart, he was starting to notice things. Kai being more exhausted than usual. Kai wincing when he walked, or bent over, or stood up after a long period of inactivity. His side of the apartment was messier than usual; Kyungsoo had started to do most of Kai's laundry. 

By the middle of spring, Baekhyun finally made him sit down and tell him honestly how he was doing, made Kai explain to him everything that needed doing.

"I'm taking the summer off," Baekhyun said in finality. 

"What? No, you don't have to do that," Kai had protested. 

"No, I mean I already have the summer off. There's a long break for the company. I don't even have to beg your mom for a vacation, although given the circumstances she probably couldn't reject me now." Baekhyun beamed. He'd since managed to wrap Kai's mother - and his boss - around his little finger. Ever since Kai patched up his relationship with her, they'd all developed a very pleasant, comfortable familiarity. 

"You don't have to come," Kai had said.

"You're right," Baekhyun agreed. "I don't have to. But I want to. Please?"

For spring break Baekhyun took Kai on a short train ride upstate to meet his parents, instantly regretted it because after five minutes in his house Baekhyun's parents were already treating Baekhyun like the forgotten son, so eager were they to welcome Kai into the family. Minzy told more horror stories (from Baekhyun's point of view) and everything was just so goddamn perfect. He wished they could have done more, but the week wasn't long enough. And Kai wasn't strong enough.

And now they are here. 

"Are you ready? For tomorrow?" Baekhyun asks tentatively.

Kai rolls his eyes. "No." But he laughs. 

Baekhyun smiles apologetically. "I'm sorry. Stupid question, I know." 

Kai doesn't respond to him again. He continues to sit there petting Monggu with the hand Baekhyun isn't holding. It's been a trying week, and it's about to get even more so. Baekhyun wrings his fingers through their conjoined hands, squeezes down on Kai's comfortingly, and he rests his head on Kai's shoulder. He sighs happily, sighs again when he feels Kai starting to let loose from all the tension he's been building up. 

"Love you," Baekhyun whispers. 

"Love you, too," says Kai even softer.

Kai is starting to panic. Something inside his head is telling him that he's just being stupid, that there's absolutely no reason to be worried. That the surgery is just a routine operation, his doctor does this procedure about three times a week, and has been doing it for years. It's simple, in and out. He'll be awake in a few hours and everything will be fine.

But for a few hours he's going to be out of it. He hopes they put him to sleep before putting on the catheter. He doesn't want to witness that, not even on himself.

Hospital gowns aren't really his thing. He's also cold laying on the stretcher and he doesn't know why it's taking so long to get this thing over with. One minute he's impatient, and the next minute he's totally fine with the delay. A delay means nothing's happened yet, that nothing could possibly go wrong yet. Even if the odds of something crazy happening during the procedure are ridiculously low, that doesn't mean it couldn't happen... that doesn't stop Kai from wondering if he'll be the one person it does happen to. 

He wouldn't let David come to the hospital with them. He stayed home with his mother, while Kai's father drove him there, Baekhyun by his side. Just like last night too Baekhyun is holding his hand. Or rather he plays with Kai's hand and fingers and palm because Kai is too nervous to lay still and he needs a distraction. His hand is also clammy and that's making him doubly nervous.

"Pssttt." Baekhyun is trying to get his attention. Kai is rather more interested in counting the ceiling tiles of their small, family waiting room. His dad is pacing now outside, probably on the phone with Kai's mother in New York relating all the medical details of the scheduled procedure. She had called earlier to wish him the best. As if Kai was preparing for a dance competition and not a minor spinal operation to minimize the pain in his back. To help him at least feel normal again. 

"Pssttt." Baekhyun pesters him again.

Kai groans. "What."

He senses his boyfriend's pout, and when he turns his head to look at Baekhyun he is correct. 

"Gosh, you're grumpy today."

Kai smiles. Somehow Baekhyun had known he didn't want nice words of comfort. Kai wants to be humored right now.

"What are you thinking about?" Baekhyun asks. "Excited that you'll get the next couple of weeks being waited on hand and foot?" 

"Yeah. I'm gonna run you ragged," Kai teases him.

"I don't doubt that." Baekhyun laughs. "Time to figure out if you're really worth all of this effort." He leans forward and places a kiss in the center of Kai's forehead, sweetly, in contrast with his words. 

"You'll be begging to run away by the end of it," says Kai. 

Baekhyun considers him for a minute. He runs his hands now through the unstyled fringe of Kai's hair, and Kai closes his eyes at the joyful feeling. When he opens them again Baekhyun is still staring at him. It's possibly the fondest he's ever been looked at in his life. Baekhyun is a year older than him, a career away from him, ten times as busy as him and currently with more friends, most of whom he'd stolen from Kai. If Kai could go back in time and tell his fifteen-year-old self that he'd be here one day, lying on a stretcher with an absurd blue hospital gown and Baekhyun - that magnificent creature he'd seen on the stage - that Baekhyun, with him, he'd swear it was a dream. This could never be anything more than a dream.

Baekhyun is beautiful in a very tired sort of way, and Kai thinks it must be because Baekhyun is just as worried as he is. He just doesn't say it out loud. He's given up his summer to come on this trip and be with Kai and help nurse him back into mobility when the surgery is over with. And then they'll go back home, together he hopes, and start the next stage of their lives. Baekhyun promised him that, sternly, lovingly. And right now Baekhyun looks so serious, so mature, and Kai loves his side of him so much. 

Then he winks, and the allusion of serenity is gone, replaced in a heartbeat with that other side of Baekhyun that Kai absolutely adores. The cheeky side that once fascinated him so much from a distance, that pressed all the wrong buttons and inflamed the place where Kai balanced all his disappointments and dreams. The Baekhyun he'd not been expecting when he finally got to meet him, and in some ways it was shocking and in other ways it was perfect. How did he get so lucky.

Baekhyun laughs, wrinkles his face and practically sneers at Kai with a giggle in his throat. "What. You think you can scare me off? Not a chance. You're stuck with me, Kai. So you better be cool with that, because I'm not going anywhere else for two whole weeks. It's you and me all the way."

"And Monggu and my dad and my stepmom and David. Don't act like you'll be the sole martyr here." Kai smirks.

"Okay, so you've got a whole bundle of helpers. So what. I'm the only one who matters."

"You are," Kai agrees finally. "You are."

He dreams then.

Somewhere in between being rolled away and waking up five minutes later - was it five minutes or five hours? - Kai is conscious enough to know that he's in pain. He can't roll over and he can't turn and he can barely turn his head, and even though several nurses seem to be in the room with him, they're not fussing over him. Maybe that means everything is fine. But still, he is in pain, and so he sleeps. And he dreams.

Did he used to be a dancer? Kai thinks he must have been a dancer. He's on a stage, and that part seems familiar but something in his head remembers how he hasn't done this in years. He's not the right age for this. He hasn't danced in years. When was the last time he saw a stage like this? When he danced barefoot with complete abandon and all eyes were upon him? 

He can't see the audience for all the stage lights in his eyes. Part of being a dancer is to be blind to everything else. Dream Kai knows this, remembers this, revels in his. He feels his body moving like it hasn't done in years, and it is amazing. 

The music changes, the lights change. He doesn't know where he is. He can't remember this part. He's forgotten the choreography and soon everyone will know it. He never makes mistakes like this. He's never this unprepared. Something about this dream is entirely unrealistic, and yet... there is something new to it. Something more real than anything.

He's not alone on the stage. 

And then he wonders.

When did this become a duet? 

Kai's never done a duet before. He was always the main dancer, the principal, the soloist. The spotlight was always on him. But now it's on someone else. A boy with silver hair. Or is it blond? Or maybe it's just the way the lights play dance upon the other boy's hair? Lighting it up in a way so that Kai can't see his face, but he still he thinks he recognizes him. Recognizes the way the dancer comes toward him and reaches out a hand and the faceless one smiles at him, and Kai feels joy. He takes his hand and they start to dance.

He remembers the choreography now. How could he ever forget a duet like this? Dancing with someone else like this. Two spotlights on two people, and it suddenly becomes one spotlight on two people, and then one spotlight on... somebody else. Kai is fading away now. The stage around him grows dark until all he sees is the other boy, and he grows dimmer but his face suddenly shines. 

Baekhyun.

He knows who it is now. He was dancing with Baekhyun. Like he always meant to. Like he always wanted to. Like he finally got to do. It was Baekhyun.

Kai.

Baekhyun, and he doesn't want to say goodbye yet. He doesn't want to leave the stage, but everything is growing darker until even the stage is black, and Kai stands in complete darkness, alone but not alone.

Kai.

He doesn't want it to end, but all acts have a closing scene.

Kai...?

He fidgets. Or rather, someone is fidgeting with him. With his arm? With his hair? The stage alights again, but this time he doesn't recognize it. It's smaller and brighter and the walls seems to close around him alarmingly tight. The ceiling has tile patterns. No dance stage has a ceiling with tile patterns. 

"Kai? Are you awake?" Baekhyun's voice. Baekhyun's face. Another duet.

Someone moans, and Kai doesn't know for a moment who it is, until it happens again and he realizes it's himself coming to.

"Kai? Are you awake? Oh please tell me you're finally awake. You have no idea how bored I've been all this time. Just sitting here playing with myself... well... wait that sounds weird... by myself... oh, never mind."

Fingers through his hair and across his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose and his lips. Kai groans again, and tries to move.

"Easy now," Baekhyun says. "Don't get too carried away. I promise I've just been sitting here playing with my phone. I even downloaded Candy Crush just for you. I swore I'd never get it, but desperate times, you know." 

"Baekhyun?" Kai's voice sounds gruff to his ears.

"Yeah?"

He closes his eyes. He really just wants to sleep again, but a part of him wants to remain awake and tease Baekhyun about his new crush. 

"What time is it?"

"Super late in the day. I've played endless levels of this game and now I'm ready to burn my phone. How are you feeling? Do you want something to drink? Actually I'm not sure what you're supposed to have right now. Let me call the nurse. Do you want to see your dad? Or I can call your mom? No, I should probably get the nurse first. I'll just-"

"Baekhyun."

His boyfriend freezes. "Yes?"

Kai smiles, or at least he thinks he smiles. Whatever he does it seems to work because Baekhyun sits down by his bed again and holds his hand. "Yes?" he asks again.

"I missed you," Kai says. 

"You... you what? You were only out of it for several hours. How could you miss me? I've been here the whole day?" Baekhyun smiles indulgently, lovingly.

"That's several hours too long that I missed." He chokes. His throat is dry, and Baekhyun looks mildly worried. He starts to stand up again, but Kai holds his hand. It's just light enough that Baekhyun knows not to let go. 

"Well then," he says. "Now starts the days where I'm not leaving your side so... get ready." And Baekhyun winks. 

3,322 words

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Guys, this is it. The end. 

/sobs.

Okay before I turn this into a pity party - thank you, everyone who subscribed and commented and upvoted and just... well, thank you for reading! This was my first big fic, and now it's come to an end. 135k+ words and fittingly, I'm posting this today on my 1 year anniversary of joining AFF. Who knew a year ago I'd be doing this today!

Don't unsubscribe just yet! 

I'll have a few more things to say about this fic, about the characters, about the story progression, etc. AND There will be a bonus something, so get ready for it. Thank you to my sister BlueVIP for making me write her ship and beta'ing it all the way. Kaibaek shippers and non-Kaibaek shippers alike, thank you!

Also, my sincere thanks to rawr27 for the poster which actually inspired me to write the dream sequence in this epilogue. I don't even know how I planned to write an epilogue without a scene like this, and I cannot vouch that I would have remembered or thought to do it without this beautiful poster! (You'll have your present soon enough too *coughstaohuncoughs*

<33333 Rosie