Kaibaek shippers, hold your horses, and let loose your feels. This is a XIUHAN BONUS chapter. It begins right after Minseok and Luhan are reunited the Wednesday night after their epic fight in chap 21, and extends through the Friday morning before Kaibaek’s date in chap 24. Enjoy.

The door closes behind Baekhyun and the other two, and Minseok finally takes stock of their surroundings, this strange little apartment that Luhan ran to after getting yelled at by him. Never did he guess that he would basically confess everything to Baekhyun, not over texts like that, but ever since Luhan ran away in tears, Minseok’s been a little more frantic than usual. A lot more frantic. And Baekhyun happened to be the one to answer his messages. 

Did he tell him? Did Baekhyun tell this precious angel in his arms what Minseok had said? All that rubbish about wishing he could be a part of Luhan’s life, wishing he was allowed a say in whatever Luhan got up to on those rare times of the day when they were apart? He prays he didn’t. Luhan shouldn’t find out that way, not through a second hand source through a mobile device while Minseok himself was at home ripping his hair out in remorse. 

Luhan sobs one more heavy sob and starts to pull away out of Minseok’s arms. He lets him, and Luhan sits up, belatedly wiping his reddened eyes. He sniffs, clears his throat, and attempts to look manly. Minseok meets his eyes and smiles. It’s so like Luhan to try to brush this off, and that semblance of normalcy makes him relax. He almost laughs when Luhan meets his eyes, looking vaguely offended when Minseok appears calm. 

“What. What is it?” Luhan asks brusquely. Minseok only shakes his head, happy. “Why, do I look ugly when I cry, is that it?” Luhan demands.

“A little,” Minseok answers. “But that’s okay. You also look pretty ugly when you laugh too.”

Luhan punches him in the chest. When Minseok laughs though, he sits up straighter and pulls himself completely out of Minseok’s range. They sit side by side on the couch and Minseok instantly feels the tension raging. When Luhan doesn’t respond, nor even look at him again, he feels the tug at his heart, and his already reddened eyes feel ready to spill again. Their moment of normalcy has passed.

“How come you’re here?” Luhan asks, after a few minutes of awkward silence.

Minseok doesn’t know how to answer that. “Baekhyun told me where you were.”

“So you only came over because he told you to?” 

“No?”

Luhan scoffs and sits up. He rests his arms on his knees and his head hangs down, not accepting of Minseok’s answer. “I guess I’m just in the way wherever I go, if that’s why they called you to come pick me up.”

“What? No, it’s not like that.” Minseok feels the conversation spiraling out of his control, and he panics wondering how to make it stop. “I came because I was worried about you… You just, ran off… and I didn’t get to apologize for… yelling at you.”

Luhan slowly sits up, head still down and his arms limp by his sides. “So you yelled at me,” he repeats, without an ounce of energy in his voice. “No need to apologize for that. It was good advice apparently. Even stupid Sehun agrees with you.” 

He sighs, and Minseok can see just how tired he must be. 

“I wasn’t thinking too well when you showed up,” he says.

Luhan only hums to himself. Whether or not he’s actually hurt about Minseok’s words or his attitude earlier, none of that shows now. The drunkenness wore off long ago, and it’s only Luhan’s caffeine-induced stupor left over. Still though, he cried when Minseok showed up, and how he wishes now why that was. Was he just worried over their busted friendship? Luhan must know how Minseok can never remain mad at him for long. Even their worst squabbles have never ended with a non-speaking spell lasting longer than a few days. What’s new this time, however, are the tears. 

“Were you really hurt?” Minseok asks. 

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“You think I wouldn’t be? I only showed up, missing my best friend, and… and…” Luhan trails off, and for a moment Minseok thinks he might cry, but instead Luhan shifts and looks at him. “Look, I know I act like a jerk some days, and I drink too much, and… sometimes… well, I know I sometimes give you no choice but to pick up the pieces, and just wait for me to pass out and wake up, and I appreciate all that, but…”

Minseok expects him to start making up excuses now, because everything he says is true, and more and more as they’ve gotten older Minseok has silently dealt with the aftermath of Luhan’s drunken sprees, whether they were together or not when it happened. 

“But… I mean…” 

Minseok waits for it with a sigh, a little heart sore because he knows he’s tired of dealing with it all: Luhan’s actions, his excuses, all those times when just he takes and demands. Tired of dealing with his own repressed feelings that he’s never let out before, the fact that he’s sick of Luhan, and sick of himself for not saying anything. That he’ll willingly do anything for Luhan, even if it means denying himself. It’s no wonder he broke today, issuing those harsh, thoughtless words, even if they were less ‘thoughtless’ and more the over pouring of every repressed emotion he’s ever concealed. Luhan with a girl, and bragging about it, and instead of keeping all that to himself, he just has to come and share with Minseok, and then demand a couch or another drink, and sloppily complain that Minseok’s a crappy friend who never does anything for him…”

“Thank you,” Luhan says. 

“What?”

“For all those times.” Luhan sighs now. “Thank you for dealing with all my crap. And, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I always bother you.”

Minseok wants to cry again, because here he is spewing loads of hatred in his head, and Luhan still feels guilty, enough to make Minseok feel guiltier. It’s a turning point though, because he has never seen Luhan actually apologize when he is sober. 

“You don’t… bother me,” Minseok lies.

Luhan extends one eyebrow at him. “You don’t? I find that hard to believe. I’ve always been a pain in the . Come on, you can be honest with me.”

Minseok frowns. “Maybe you don’t want to always know what I think…”

“Maybe I don’t get to hear what you think enough? You’re too quiet, Seok. You never talk to me. You never say what you’re thinking. You’re too nice.” He pauses and casts his eyes at the farthest wall, eyes glassy and spacing out. “Maybe you’ve hated me all these years, and you just won’t say it, huh?”

“I don’t hate you at all, Luhan,” Minseok is quick to say. 

Luhan’s voice grows consistently in its harshness, though not technically in volume. “Then what is it? What is it that makes you get so angry tonight? What makes you rush over here the moment you’re called, like someone groveling at my feet when… when… it should be me doing that for you…” He ends in a near whisper, and looks down again. Minseok notices another tear threatening to drop from one of his eyes, but just as he reaches for his face, Luhan wipes it off.

Minseok hurriedly drops his hand and gapes. But before Luhan can say anything that threatens to tear both their hearts in two, Minseok gives in and reaches for him, dragging Luhan silently sideways into an awkward hug. Luhan gulps startled, but he lets himself be held, even if he doesn’t reciprocate; he can’t anyway, not with the way Minseok’s body holds his arms immobile. 

“You do bother me, Lu.”

Luhan’s response comes out like a low squeal.

“I just… don’t want you to keep acting this way. I don’t want you to get hurt one day.”

“You mean you don’t want to be there the day I totally fall to pieces?”

Minseok hugs him rougher. “Don’t reassemble my words. Of course I’ll be there for you the day you fall apart. I’d just rather that doesn’t happen… I want to prevent that from happening.”

Luhan chuckles, the last hurrah of a broken mind. “Oh so you won’t let that happen, huh?”

“Nope. Not on my watch.”

Luhan sighs breathily. After the evening’s tears and his highs and lows, it’s about all he can muster. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Lu.” 

It doesn’t change anything. It barely even makes Minseok feel better, and doesn’t do anything to ease the tension in his heart. But Luhan is calm, and they can save the rest for another day, maybe.

“Hey, Minseok?” Luhan whispers.

“Hmm?”

“I want to go home.”

Minseok loosens his hold. “Okay? Let’s go then.”

They both stand up, and Luhan slowly shuffles towards the front door. 

“Wait a second,” Minseok says. He knocks on Baekhyun’s bedroom door while Luhan waits by the front door. He doesn’t know if they’re asleep inside. In fact, he barely registered that Baekhyun had made himself scarce, along with Kai and Sehun, just for him and Luhan, and he regrets making them flee inside Baekhyun’s own apartment. He doesn’t wait for an answer but slowly opens the door.

“Baek?” he calls out in a gentle voice, his eyes adjusting to the darkness inside. 

“Hmm?” comes a voice out of the darkness. 

“I’m taking Luhan home now.”

“Oh, okay.” He can almost see Baekhyun laying on his bed, a lump behind him that might be Kai. Maybe though he shouldn’t have been so impertinent to stare, because when he doesn’t move, Baekhyun says instead, “Goodnight.”

“Ahh. Goodnight. And… thank you. Sorry, we crashed your night.” He really does feel kind of miserable about that. 

“S’ok,” Baekhyun whispers. “See you tomorrow.”

Minseok smiles apologetically. “Thanks. Bye.” He inches the door closed, making every effort  to keep it from making a sound in case the others are sleeping, and makes a mental note to really thank and apologize to Baekhyun tomorrow when things are not so awkward.

Luhan still waits by the front door when he turns around. “Let’s go,” Minseok says, joining him. 

“What do you mean, let’s go?”

Minseok stares him. “I mean, you said you wanted to go home.”

“Yes, but I can get home myself now. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Okay.” 

They walk down the stairs but instead of heading left towards his block, he turns right following Luhan. 

“What are you doing?” Luhan asks him, surprised.

“I’m going with you.”

“But I just told you you didn’t have to…”

“So?” 

Luhan frowns but keeps walking. “Suit yourself then.”

“Thank you. I will.”

Minseok laughs, assuming Luhan will to, but he doesn’t and they walk the rest of the way in silence. 

Luhan doesn’t live by himself. For as long as Minseok has known him, Luhan’s bedroom has been his family’s living room, and once upon a time he shared it with a brother and sister, while only his parents got their own bedroom. The siblings have moved on, but Luhan’s bed still hides in a corner of the main room even if now it feels like his own private spot, comparatively. He opens the door to a silent house, and Minseok listens for the soft snores of his parents when he follows him in. He tells himself it’s just to make sure Luhan doesn’t pass out before brushing his teeth or swipe another bottle of something from the fridge before he sleeps. After all, they both still need to be functional for tomorrow morning. 

Luhan empties his pockets and without looking at Minseok heads for the bathroom. Minseok perches on the edge of his bed, and waits. Ten minutes he waits and when Luhan finally comes out, he seems startled to see him still there.

“I made it. I’m fine. Thank you.”

Minseok knows a dismissal when he hears one. He doesn’t know what he expected. Maybe an invitation to stay later, or to stay the night. Maybe to talk some more now that they’re both calm.

“Uhhh. Alright,” he says, and he stands up. Yawning he trudges back towards the door, past Luhan standing still in his pajamas, when a hand comes out and stops him by the shoulders. 

“Wait.”

Minseok freezes. “What?”

He can see Luhan fretting with something, when finally he says, “You don’t have to leave. Just, stay. It’s too far to walk now and it’s late. We can just, swing by your apartment tomorrow morning if you need something.”

Minseok feels like his heart might explode. He nods, too eagerly perhaps, but then Luhan sweeps by him and crawls under his blanket and Minseok nearly joins him there without even thinking. 

He takes a couple steps before forcing himself to halt, and asks for something to sleep in. Luhan sits up and rummages in a small dresser, throws him a clean shirt and settles back into the bed. Only after he’s washed his face in the bathroom and stripped out of his old clothes, does Minseok place one knee hesitantly into the mattress and climb in. 

It’s awkward, too awkward after all they have been through tonight. They each lay on their backs, breathing evenly, though Minseok knows his breaths are purposefully shallow because he’s afraid even of moving too much or making the bed shift. 

“‘Night, Seok.” 

He barely hears it. “‘Night.”

“Thank you for bothering with me.” Luhan chuckles softly.

“Hm? Oh… no problem.” 

He almost says something more to that except his words are suddenly lost when he feels Luhan rolling over and a tiny hand placed gently on his chest. Minseok shuts his eyes and inhales softly. The other’s warm breath heats his cheek, when Luhan’s fragile lips ghost across the skin, only a few hairs away from touching. Minseok jolts without meaning to and his head jerks to the side, right into Luhan’s skull and Luhan flinches back in pain, clutching at his head with two hands and . 

“Luhan! What. I’m sorry!” Minseok whispers rapidly. “I didn’t mean to— Are you okay?”

Luhan cradles his head back on his pillow. “Yes… I’m fine. Sorry I got in your way.” 

“No… You didn’t. You—“

“Goodnight.” He rolls over, and Minseok is left staring at the back of his head while he panics in his head. Did Luhan just try to kiss him? Why did he close his eyes at that important moment? Stupid, stupid… Perhaps Luhan was trying to reach over him for something on the table. Minseok presses down with his eyelids in frustration, willing himself not to cry. Because what if Luhan was trying to kiss him? On the cheek or perhaps even on the lips? What would he have done? 

Panic, obviously. Which is what he did. Because maybe Luhan will feel rejected now, and now he is ignoring him, and they’re back to square one. Who knows what they will be able to say to each other tomorrow. 

He sleeps very little that night, too wrapped up with his own regrets and worries to notice that Luhan also gets very little sleep. 

They stay together the next morning, with Luhan dutifully following Minseok to his apartment conveniently on the way to the studio for morning rehearsals. Their talk, however, never leaves the range of small talk, and though Minseok wants to say something more, wants to ask about last night, he’s too embarrassed to, and Luhan equally so. 

They’re so awkward even in the studio that Baekhyun notices, but Minseok can’t be bothered to actually tell the boy what the real trouble is. He keeps it simple: “We just talked,” and “We just went to sleep.” “Baekhyun, what do I do?”

He envies Kai and Baekhyun’s apparently easy relationship, but then he knew the two would be that way. They were so obviously into each other that they needed only one little push to be happily in love. Minseok likes to take some credit for it, but he knows that even if he hadn’t tipped off Baekhyun, they would have found their way to each other sooner or later.

He doesn’t see the same thing with Luhan though. Or he didn’t, until last night. If that’s even what he witnessed. 

They go their own ways at the end of the day. Minseok suspects Friday will end up a repeat of the day before if he doesn’t do something to change things. He just can’t figure out how to make it different. 

It’s been a month since their routine Friday morning breakfast though, and this time Minseok makes sure Luhan will be there. He has Baekhyun persuade him, since he knows the youngster will make it his mission to see the two of them in the same spot, so it’s with a hidden, gleeful heart that Minseok sits down next to Luhan at their usual spot in the diner. 

“No Kai, today?” Luhan asks, looking around as if for distraction.

“Nope. School stuff,” Baekhyun answers. “But I’ll see him tonight.”

The others around the table ‘oooohh’ and “aahhhh’ and make fun of the couple with teasing comments, and Baekhyun blushes but smiles happily. 

There are a few new additions to the company around the table, including Yixing, still happily pestering Suho and his crutches, and the student Seung Hoon, bashfully optimistic and happy to be included in today’s gathering.

“Where’s Jung Kook?” Yixing asks around the table. His eyes land on Seung Hoon, but the older student only shrugs.

Baekhyun takes to answering. “He’s still in high school, Xing. He’s got school today.”

“Ohh, that’s right. No wonder he said he wouldn’t be here today when I asked.”

Suho laughs meanly. “He already told you, and yet you still ask?”

“He didn’t tell me why though,” Yixing reasons. “I forgot he was so young. Half of you guys look young, but you’re not in school.”

“That’s because most of us haven’t been in school for at least a couple years…” Suho grumbles.

Yixing frowns. “I forget, that’s all. Anyways Luhan looks like he’s twelve and he’s like the oldest here, so they tell me.”

The table has a laugh at Luhan’s expense, while the ‘older’ one pouts cutely, and Minseok especially enjoys it with a silent laugh. 

“Hey, I’m not the oldest one here. Minseok is.” Luhan elbows Minseok playfully in the ribs, laughs, but when they catch each other’s eyes it’s almost as if they’d rememered they were supposed to be awkward around each other, and they quickly look away. Minseok looks down and immediately grabs his water glass for something to do, avoiding Baekhyun’s worried glance in the process. 

The rest of the meal progresses in the same tone, with Luhan and Minseok not speaking much to each other, and it's beginning to be painfully obvious to the rest of the crowd. Yixing even asks once if Luhan is feeling alright, but Luhan’s quick rebuttals don’t really persuade anyone. He may not look physically ill, but Minseok thinks he definitely looks worn out, and it bothers him that he may be the cause of it. 

Minseok sighs a couple times too heavily near the end of their meal, and rotates his body left and right to stretch out his back. He thinks he probably overdid himself the day before and his body is suffering for it now. 

“Oh, are you okay too?” Yixing asks. The dancer is just too considerate of everybody, not that anyone except Suho minds it.

“Just a little sore today,” Minseok replies.

“Ohh, you should get someone to massage your shoulders!” Yixing exclaims. He looks around the table. “Seung Hoon, didn’t you say you were minoring in some sort of physical education? You probably give good massages!” 

The student looks up and nods, a little nervously. “I can… yes. That is, if you want, Minseok.” 

Luhan eyes the boy in minor alarm, and both Minseok and Baekhyun pick up on that.

“Uh, sure,” Minseok says.

Seung Hoon’s sitting on the other side of the table, however, and when he tries to stand up, he bumps his knee on the underside of the table, and at least one glass of water wobbles precariously before Tao steadies it. 

“Well, that was graceful,” Suho utters. Yixing puts a hand in front of his mouth to keep him from speaking further, and Baekhyun laughs loudly and distractingly. 

“Hey, hey, Seung Hoon’s too blocked,” Baekhyun hollers. “Luhan, you’re closer. Do something useful this morning and give Minseok a massage, huh?”

The alarm on Luhan’s face, which was beginning to diminish when Seung Hoon couldn’t get up, resurfaces at once with Baekhyun’s seemingly casual directive. 

“Sure,” he says. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes though, Minseok notices before strong hands force him to rotate 90 degrees. He hasn’t had a massage in so long, about a week actually since Luhan last did this to him in between rehearsal slots. The fingers kneading into his muscles now feel like heaven, though he’s grateful he can’t see Luhan’s face at the moment. He’s sure that he didn’t want to do this right now but Baekhyun gave him no choice. Minseok needs to thank that boy later, but in the meantime he relaxes into Luhan’s hands, and tries to keep from at the table. 

“He’s pretty tight, isn’t he, Luhan?” Baekhyun asks. “His muscles, I mean?”

Minseok decides to forget about thanking him later. Luhan only laughs nervously and ignores the rest of the table’s conversation. After a few minutes of working on the knots, he releases him and uncharacteristically runs one hand through Minseok’s hair before turning back into his seat. Minseok shivers and smiles, forgetting for half a second everything between them. He settles into the booth himself and lets his head loll happily backwards. 

“Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome,” Luhan says, lazily. Minseok sighs. “Tired?” he asks.

Minseok nods, but he knows he’s less tired now than just a few minutes ago, and the change in Luhan’s mood could be cited as a direct reason. 

“Let’s go get coffee afterwards then. Unless, you had other plans…”

“What? No. I don’t… have other plans.” 

It’s nearing eleven o’clock when everyone seems through with their meals, and the bills are paid. Luhan nudges Minseok to move first, and he stands up with the other at his heels.

“Uhh, see you guys in a bit,” Minseok tells everyone. Baekhyun catches his eye and winks, but Minseok turns around quickly so he doesn’t have to acknowledge it. They leave the diner and without discussion start on the path to their favorite coffee shop that’s only a few blocks away from the studio. They don’t speak; they don’t usually when they’re walking anyways, but Minseok feels a shift again and this time for the better. 

The cafe is unusually packed for the hour, something Luhan notes with a frown and a few griping words.

“Guess we’ll just have to wait in line,” Minseok suggests.

“I’ll stand if you want to sit down.”

“I can wait.” He stands just in front of Luhan, behind eight other customers in the line which winds through and around the little tables set up from counter to door. A woman obviously in a hurry makes her way through the crowd with her coffee held high, and Minseok sways to avoid impact. He’s nowhere near to falling over, but Luhan must think he’s about to topple at any second. The same strong hands that earlier massaged his neck and shoulders wind their way around his waist, holding him upright. Minseok freezes and swivels his head around. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Luhan, who looks just as startled at his own actions. 

They both freeze in place until the man in front steps up in line and a gap appears. Minseok knows he should move up to fill the place, but moving forward means moving out of Luhan’s hands and right now he knows there’s nothing more he wants than to remain right there. Perhaps Luhan can read minds suddenly, but he moves before Minseok, and it’s to nudge him forward while keeping him in his embrace. Minseok fills the place in the line but Luhan stays right behind him, and just lightly, almost imperceptibly, Minseok leans back a little letting his back rest against Luhan’s chest. He yawns once more, at peace with the position. Luhan leaves one hand at Minseok’s waist, but brings the other up to capture Minseok’s shoulder, anchoring him place. He sighs happily, and Minseok’s heart flutters once again. 

4,084 words

This special chapter for BlueVIP, flowerboysandramyun, Byberry, 123rdGambleStreet, Joudrew, XiumInYourFace, and all my other special Xiuhan shippers, and for those commenters who wanted more. Also, me. I needed this, for my bias.

Next chapter will continue with our regularly scheduled third person narrators Baekhyun and Kai. Although if you notice, Baekhyun just couldn't remain very silent in this chapter. I tried to shut him up, I really did (no I didn't), but he would make a fuss and be a shameless Xiuhan shipper. :P

<3 u lots. Rosie

P.S. If you like Taohun, read my recently posted piano bar!au oneshot: I'm Gonna Change That Tune