I know, I know. This is another nearly Kaibaek-free TAO BONUS CHAPTER, but it's important I promise! And Tao deserves at least one chapter all on his own. Events in this chapter take place in intervals between chap 28 A Season of Firsts and chap 32 Time Out.

It's a hard thing to maintain: his silence and general acknowledgement that the guy he has a crush on apparently doesn't think so highly of him. Why else would Kris suddenly go from bugging Tao almost constantly to the sudden and unexpected round of... nothing. Nothing at all. No calls, no texts, no hang-outs, no going on pseudo-dates that they didn't come anywhere close to calling dates. That would have been premature. 

After a week of this kind of silent treatment, Tao knows it was premature, this whatever kind of relationship they apparently don't have. After two days of attempting to reach Kris after his sudden disappearance the day of the Friday performance, Tao gave up. Maybe there was no point? Maybe he imagined the whole thing? Probably he was just a friend to Kris and he shouldn't get so worked up about it. Or maybe Kris was laying dead somewhere or had had some severe family tragedy and he just wasn't in a place where he could respond to Tao. 

And if it was something horrible, Kris, or... somebody... would get ahold of him eventually.

He tried not to worry and it almost, nearly worked. Until the day Kris started texting him again like it hadn't been a week, but just a few hours. 

Kris: Ugh, my TV set is busted again. Cant get a thing to work on it

Kris: Hey did you hear about them pushing back the release date for that game? right?

Kris: Hey so what's up anyways. want to hang out tomorrow?

Tao doesn't bother to respond to the endless series of texts until after breakfast on Sunday, and by then it's conveniently too late to plan something with Kris. 

Tao: Sorry playing tour guide for Baekhyun's sister today

Tao: Maybe Monday or Tuesday if I have some time after rehearsals?

The tour guide thing at least is true. Baekhyun was supposed to be taking Minzy around to see the sites, but his roommate was a bad choice when it came to knowing the city well enough. Tao might not be a native, but in the first few months he lived here when he hadn't yet gotten comfortable hanging out with Baekhyun in their free time, he did his fair share of wandering. He knows certain parts of the city like the back of his hand, and the park is definitely one of them.

He leads the siblings to one of his favorite places - a castle that isn't much of a castle but just a fancy fort with a nice vista of the northern baseball diamonds and a duck pond. The walk there is a bit of a trek though, especially when taking Tao's special 'scenic' route.

"This isn't scenic, Tao!" Baekhyun complains between heavy breaths. "This is a hike and just a whole lot of trees!"

"I promise it'll be worth it in the end."

Baekhyun yaps on anyways. "Wasn't there a short cut though? You know, by one of those roads that crosses through?"

Minzy had a lot of fun at her brother's expense. "You've got no sense of adventure. Roads are boring. You see roads every day. Can't you let me enjoy myself and pretend I'm in the wilderness for once?" She laughs.

"There are skyscrapers in every direction if you look. Wilderness," Baekhyun huffs.

When they finally make it to the castle and Baekhyun discovers you have to climb a whole series of steps to get to the top, he refuses to go any further.

"You two go on up. Give me the camera. I'll take your picture from down here."

It's a good thing Tao and Minzy agreed on a truce the night before. They've been getting along fine all day now, and have found plenty of things in common, especially if it involves gossiping about Baekhyun and his laziness for everything that's not specifically dance or Kai related. 

They make the climb through two sets of narrow spiral concrete stairs, stopping at the first veranda to pose for Baekhyun down below. At the top, however, she changes the conversation swiftly away from her brother and starts probing again.

"So... those texts you've been ignoring all day. Boy trouble?"

Tao doesn't bother to deny it. He nods his head and frowns, and receives a comforting look of sympathy behind Minzy's pouty lips. 

"Need any help with that? Don't tell my brother, but I'm pretty good with guys. I get them. Understand them, if you know what I mean. Or at least I've figured out why they can be so weird. No offense to you of course," she assures him.

Her attitude is just friendly enough that Tao spills most of his and Kris' history, or lack thereof. There isn't too much to go on in all the time he and Kris have known each other, something Tao finds oddly strange now that he's putting it all into words. Just what had he been expecting? A swirling romance story like Baekhyun and Kai? Or Minseok and Luhan? Even Suho had gotten less grumpy of late, something that could be attributed directly to Yixing's presence in their lives. Tao was the odd one out. 

"You know, maybe you should just ask him directly." Minzy says. "Since it's all so weird and you really have no idea where things stand. If they stand at all."

"Yeah but what if he doesn't like me. Won't that make it awkward?"

"Could it be anymore awkward than it is now? It seems to me he either thinks of you as a very casual friend, or else he's conflicted and doesn't know what he thinks. You could end up in this rut forever if you don't do something, or figure something out."

They lean over the stone railing and take in the view. It's refreshing from up here. Different from just looking out the window of a tall building. Everything comes from a different perspective up here. 

From down below Baekhyun hollers to get their attention again, motioning for the two of them to get closer so he can take the picture. Minzy squeezes into the turret beside him so they stand shoulder to shoulder. Tao's inner photogenic self turns on in a flash and he smiles wide and cute, placing his arm around Minzy's for the final round. Minzy also hams it up and starts making funny faces, at least some of which Baekhyun notices from below.

"Let's take some ourselves," Minzy suggests, pulling out her phone. They sit back and angle themselves to get a good view of the skyline.  She holds up her phone. "Okay, 3 2 1 - say... kimchi!"

Tao trades off her phone for his and they repeat the action, and each shot gets sillier and sillier until finally they're both making kissy faces into the camera lens and Minzy even plays around with kissing his cheek.

Another couple, a real couple, clears their throats in irritation, and Minzy and Tao quickly vacate the prime photo spot just as Tao's phone gets another text message.

Kris: So where are you exploring? How come you have to show his sister around anyway?

Tao sighs.

"Is that Kris again?" Minzy asks. "Hey send him that last picture of us. Jealousy you know. Works like a charm every time." The wink she gives him is completely devilish but Tao's in just the right kind of mood for pranks, and he responds with only the selca; no words attached.

The picture thing definitely backfires on Tao. He figures that out later on when Minzy has already gone back home, and Kris hasn't stopped texting him weird, impertinent questions about why he's kissing Baekhyun's sister (Tao: I didn't. She kissed me lol) in between his usual random texts that don't make a whole lot of sense in the grand scheme of events. By Monday evening Tao's had enough of the charade and confesses they were just having fun and no, he isn't seriously attracted to his roommate's sister. He's not attracted to girls at all, remember? (Tao: I'd do better by kissing Baekhyun, except.... yuck!) Kris backs down but still bothers him non-stop with little things and thought processes that do nothing for Tao except make him want to prolong the time between their next hang-out. 

Minzy's words about asking Kris directly about what he thinks lay heavily on his mind, so when Wednesday comes around and Kris invites himself over, he's ready for it, the confrontation. Except even that doesn't go as smooth as he wanted it to.

"Not everybody has it all figured out, Tao," Baekhyun says to him after it's all over. 

It's sound advice, but hardly comforting. 

"Yo, Tao. Quit moping." Sehun fires a pillow at his head, which Tao isn't expecting at all. He yelps and shoves the fallen pillow out of his lap, putting on a show by scowling back at his comparatively new friend. At least Sehun knows how to pick on him in ways that feel uplifting, and not dooming.

Unlike their other friend in the room. 

"Did you say yo?" Kyungsoo scoffs. Sehun nods happily, too happily. "God, quit hanging out with Luhan. He's such a bad influence on your questionable English skills." 

"No, no, no. You have to say it three times to be really gangsta!" Sehun hits his best impersonation of a thug and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

"That's not 'gangsta' that's just acting stupid. Ugh, I feel my intelligence level dropping as we speak."

Sehun sniffs haughtily. "Yeah? Well you could just go home then and leave us to have fun, since you're so against it." 

"What, and leave you two alone without a chaperone? Whatever will your friends say if you don't have me around as a buffer?" Kyungsoo snickers. 

Tao doesn't know Kyungsoo very well, but from what he's heard about the boy through Sehun and occasionally from Kai, he knows Kyungsoo supposedly wields his taunts like a chef pampers his knives, and it's really amusing to watch Sehun constantly get on his bad side. Sehun's lucky Kyungsoo isn't purposefully evil or he might have had a harder time. Then again, he doesn't know too much about Kyungsoo. 

He knows the chaperone business is merely an excuse to give Kyungsoo something to do and people to torment, and at least part of that is Sehun's way of making up for all those years when he professed to not like the boy. It's a sweet gesture, one that Kyungsoo has obviously accepted. It just doesn't show when the two talk to one another, but at least the two play it up for Tao's amusement. Or maybe they're just like that naturally.

Sehun whines suddenly. 

"What is it?" Tao asks.

"Your stupid roommate! Why is it he always assumes when we're together that we're somewhere making out? What kind of sick and erted mind does he have? I'm worried for Kai."

Tao snorts. "Yeah, you should be. You'd never guess what those two get up to on the couch. My couch too! I brought it into the apartment."

He laughs, and Sehun starts to make icky faces. "I don't want to know," he says quickly.

"I want to know," Kyungsoo says, the picture of innocence. Tao opens his mouth to elaborate and Sehun quickly sends another pillow smack into his face. Sehun glares at Kyungsoo long enough to be sure he won't ask again, and Kyungsoo finally smiles and laughs at his expression.

"Trust me," Tao interjects. "You don't want to know. Why do you think I never sit on one side of the couch now?" 

Sehun changes his tune pretty quickly. "You're still on about that one night? Dude, that was weeks ago. Kai promised me nothing happened then."

"Yeah," Tao shrieks. "Then! Who knows what they may be doing right now though."

He picks up the bowl of chips and starts munching away, head shaking pitifully.

Kyungsoo observes them for a while with a smirk on his face, and then he says scornfully, "The fact that you two sit around discussing Kai and Baekhyun's love life is kind of sad. Maybe I should just leave you two alone, and then you can do something about the sad pathetic state of your own lives?" He leaves it up for debate.

Tao and Sehun look at each other for a moment, the seed of both interest and distrust on their faces. At the same time then they turn towards Kyungsoo and chant, "No."

Kyungsoo laughs. "Okay. Alright. But can we pick another movie now, please? I'm bored, and the two of you just aren't exciting enough to keep me entertained."

By Saturday evening Tao knows he needs to see Kris again. After promising to give him some distance while Kris figures out his head, Kris has failed spectacularly. Half a day is all the reprieve Tao gets before the texts begin anew, and not one of them with a message that Tao remotely wants to hear. 

Where is the message that says, I definitely like you? Or, I definitely want to be with you? Or even, I think we should just be friends. Tao would take even that response by now. Anything as long as it resembles an answer. And it's suddenly less important to Tao if the answer is something he wouldn't wish to hear. 

Because his phone won't stop vibrating, and he can't make people stop, he turns it off himself and heads to the retail district alone. The last time he tried to take Baekhyun shopping, his roommate bought one whole t-shirt and a pair of white socks and complained the whole damn time. He doesn't bother inviting him out this time, and in any case, Baekhyun is supposed to be out with Kai all day and he should probably give them space to you know... deface his couch a little more. 

He doesn't realize what's happened with Kai and Baekhyun until he gets home late, his arms loaded down with designer goods he found on sale, and he turns on his phone. Several text messages, one voicemail, and a returned call to Sehun get him all caught up. He texts Minzy before he sleeps asking what Baekhyun's favorite breakfast food is, and wakes up super early to run to the store and buy the waffle maker and mix. Taking care of someone else is strangely relaxing, because he has no time to think about himself. 

It's Monday night and Baekhyun still isn't in a great mood. Plus there's been no word from Kai this whole time, although Sehun assures Tao he gave the boy a good old fashioned whipping. Whatever that means. 

Kris: Sorry for texting so much

Kris: I guess I do bother you a lot. Can we just meet again? please? 

It's at least something on the road to progress, Tao thinks, even though the apology is a bit weak. 

Tao: Face to face?

Kris: Well yeah unless you want to do this all through text lol

Kris: I'm on my way

Or maybe it wasn't progress. Not if Kris has the nerve to try and be funny.

"Something going on?" Baekhyun asks, and Tao's heart drops a little because it's not fair to Baekhyun to do this to him when he's had such a hard time all by himself. 

"Nothing really," Tao tries to play it off.

"Tao... are you sure? Is it Kris, still?"

"Kind of." 

Tao: sure but not here

Kris: are you home?

"What's going on?"

Tao: Yes but Baekhyun is here and I'm not sending him to his room 

Kris: so....

Tao sighs. "He's actually on his way over here again."

Baekhyun turns off the TV, and immediately Tao feels guilty for making this seem like a big deal. "Is he... has he... decided?" Baekhyun asks.

"I don't know," Tao answers. "I can't tell, and honestly I'm not even sure if I care anymore but... I think I better go talk to him."

Tao: I'll meet you out. The all-night diner around the corner of my block. That work for you?

Kris: yes. meet you there

Out on the street, Tao thinks about his last statement to Baekhyun. Does he care? Does he not care? He can't be sure until he sees Kris again. Despite Baekhyun's dire situation, Tao is oddly invigorated to do this. He wants to know. He needs to know. He's tired of all this beating around the bush and partial denials, and it seems Kris doesn't do well with taking time away unless it's something he wants to do. It's now or never. Tao has a clear head and that's more than he had the last Wednesday they met and he wasn't in the mood to deal with anything remotely complicated.

Why was this so complicated anyways?

Kris is already in the diner when Tao arrives. He doesn't doubt Kris was already hanging out below his apartment when Tao told him to go away and meet him here. His blond hair is nicely styled, and once again Tao is reminded of that shaggy black hair Kris had when they first met, and how much nicer he looks now. He looks like an adult and not an overgrown grad student, even if that's what he is. 

"Hey," he says as Tao pulls out a chair across the table from him.

"Hi."

Kris clears his throat, visibly nervous. His white button-up shirt is crumpled from wearing it all day and he messes with the collar distractedly. "It's good to uhm... hear you."

"Yeah," says Tao. He forces himself to relax. He orders a soda from the waitress when she comes by and declines any food. For Kris' sake he lets him talk about any little thing for the first few minutes, just because that's what Kris is good at, and he wants him at his most comfortable before he drops the question. Kris is just starting a new anecdote about something non-funny that happened in one of his classes today, but Tao has had enough. 

"So," Tao says, knuckles hardening against the table and he inhales smoothly. "Do you like me?"

Kris gulps. Tao can tell the question caught him slightly off guard, but he's pleased when Kris recovers well enough to quit talking and act like this is important. He looks down at the table and sets his jaw. Then he looks up at Tao, their eyes level, and says, "Yes."

Tao smiles and leans back in his chair. Kris' yes was a little shaky, but it was definitely a yes. 

"You do realize you text too much," Tao says.

Kris' eyes widen in shock. "Uhm?"

"You text me too many unimportant things and never get to the point."

This is obviously not the interrogation Kris expected to get. He sits still and silent, waiting for Tao to make another move that will hopefully explain it, and Tao revels in his power. 

"I'm saying you waste so much time with things when you could just answer: yes or no."

"Oh."

Tao doesn't give him much time to think about. "What about your family?" he asks. 

"Definitely working on that," Kris says quickly. He's catching on to the pace that Tao is asking, but it's not entirely satisfactory. 

Tao folds his arms and clicks his tongue in disapproval. "So you're still not comfortable with them. Do they know about me?"

"Uh, not about you specifically. They just know about... a guy."

"You said your sister told them. Does that mean she seriously disapproves of you for being gay?"

Kris swallows uncomfortably. Tao doesn't miss the slight tic in his eye when Tao says that word out loud: gay. The waitress comes back to ask them again if they still don't want food, and Kris cringes away from her. Tao doesn't miss a thing. Not the way Kris shrinks into himself, and relaxes only when she's gone. He doesn't miss the way Kris' face is red, or how a slight sheen of sweat dots the back and side of his neck.

Kris is panicking. It would be cute, really, if Tao was in the mood for this. 

Not everyone is ready to make a public pronouncement. He gets that. Outside of his own circle of friends, Tao gets a little shy about that too. He wasn't nearly as confident about his preferences before he fell into a good set of friends who were either like him, or just didn't care. Kris just doesn't fit in, or try to fit in. He never overcame Tao's set of friends, and every time Tao offered to do something with other people, Kris preferred not to. It's going to take a lot of work for Kris to get over this and become a confident boyfriend, a person Tao could be proud to call his boyfriend. And Tao's just confident enough to work with Kris, if he'll just meet him halfway.

"Alright, so I won't ask to meet your family on the first date."

"Huh?"

Tao leans forward across the table. Yes, Kris is cute because he's just never on the same page as Tao. A lot of work, Tao reminds himself. He's going to take a lot of work. "I'm asking you," Tao lowers his voice. "Are you going to ask me out?"

Kris exhales and sits up as well. Even seated he has a few inches on Tao. He leans forward, carefully looking around first, until they're half a foot apart and says, "Will... will you go out with me?" 

Tao smiles. Success. He doesn't kiss him, even though that would be a gesture to seal the deal, because he's sure Kris would freak out. Instead he stays where he is, and whispers, "Yes," as sensually as he can. Kris wriggles back and gives him a half-smile, still worried about the atmosphere. 

"G-good," Kris stutters. "Uhm, can we leave though... please? This place is so... bright."

"Bright?"

"Yeah, too many lights. It makes me uhm... nervous."

Tao smiles again and consents. He knows it's not the lights. It's the public bodies and casual, roving eyes of the wait staff and other late-night diners. "How about your apartment?" Tao suggests, because he's not sure if Baekhyun would have gone to sleep already and if he's still up watching TV he doesn't want to displace him. "We can catch up there, yeah?"

"Yeah," Kris agrees, a little eagerly.

He lives in the same neighborhood, although Tao has never been inside. Kris was always happier inviting himself over to Tao's place, although Tao doesn't know why since he obviously never liked being around Baekhyun. The walk is awkward. They move side-by-side and halfway down the block in between street lamps Tao makes a grab for his hand. Kris tenses but Tao clasps it and holds on long enough for Kris to stop squirming. They pass another pedestrian and Kris does an amazing job not freaking out. By which Tao means Kris let go of his hand almost immediately, realized what he'd done, and gently reached for Tao's hand again. It's a clammy hold, so Tao tries something new at the corner of his block. He purposefully releases Kris' hand and moves his arm to surround his lower back instead. Kris lets him, although he doesn't reciprocate.

Halfway down the block Tao is pleased enough with the situation to lean slightly into Kris' side, and still Kris lets him. He smiles and risks a glance at the other's face, shocked to see a smile mirroring his there and it all feels so very satisfying after all this time. So satisfying that he wants to reward him, and he does so by leaning in a pressing a small peck on the side of Kris' mouth. 

The timing is horrible. Half an inch before he's about to touch him, Tao sees a look of panic worse than any other, and that's even before Tao completes the kiss. The kiss is just the final cataclysm to Kris shrieking in fright before an elbow jabs him in the ribs hard enough to knock him over. Tao hits the sidewalk and cries out just as a woman yells, "Kris?!" 

Tao can barely follow the scene, he's so stunned. His elbow scrapes the ground, and his hip is bruised. He just tried kissing him, his boyfriend, and already he's on the ground, shell-shocked and wondering what happened.

"S-sis..." Kris says shakily.

"Kris, what the hell. Is that your boyfriend?!" 

The woman isn't as tall as her brother, but as she stomps closer, a look of disgust on her face, Kris positively shrinks before her. On one hand he's terrified, and on the hand he doesn't know what to do about Tao on the ground. He probably didn't mean to elbow him so hard, but the reflex was so intense, it happened all the same. 

"I asked you if this is your boyfriend?" his sister repeats, indignant. She marches up to him and shoves him in intimidation. Kris is too muscular to be moved by it but he sways anyways, and his voice echoes only stutters. "It is, isn't it? What the hell, Kris, didn't we talk this out already? Do you not remember what you promised?!"

"He's not!" Kris shouts, completed cowed. 

"He's not what?" 

Tao manages to sit up unaided, cradling his bloody elbow and brushing the dirty gravel away from the wound. It stings, and he bites down the pain, willing himself not to cry.

"He's not my boyfriend," Kris says in a rushed panic. "H-he's just a friend."

"A friend who kisses you?" she spats, and it's obvious she's completely disgusted.

"He was just messing around. Look it's not what you think!" 

"Oh, isn't it?!"

Tao stands up, and Kris looks at him as if he'd actually forgotten Tao was still there. Tao cringes when he sees the glance that meets him: bitter fear and a pretense of disgust Tao knows isn't actually there, but Kris just has to make that face for the benefit of his infuriated sister. 

Suddenly, Tao feels nothing but disgust himself.  "Messing around? Yeah, I was just messing around," he growls. "I knew better but I still thought you were alright."

"What the hell is he saying, Kris?" says the sister. He ignores her.

He wants to fight. To say hateful words that will damn Kris in his sister's eyes worse than any peck on the lips, but as soon as his anger flared up it was gone, and that's when he realizes he was always trying too hard to make this happen. He was right. He knew better, and he knew it was useless. He doesn't even care anymore, and somehow that wasn't as shocking as it should have been.

He didn't care half an hour ago when he left his apartment. It was a sheer will to pretend differently that made him come out. Just like Kris was now pretending he didn't know a single thing about Tao standing beside him, Tao doesn't care about Kris, the person who was never quite right for him. 

"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Just messing around... Good night, Kris. See you around." Or not, says his look. And he knows Kris receives the message just fine. There's sadness in his eyes finally, but Tao doesn't want to see it anymore. He stalks off as unhurriedly as he can, passes the diner where they agreed to go out, and a bitter smile emerges across his face before he's almost home. 

It's incredible. The whole night has been incredible. He shouldn't have gone out in the first place. This is probably payback for leaving Baekhyun all alone when he knows the boy would probably worry about him. 

He climbs the stairs to his apartment, and stops dead in his tracks when he sees something sitting across his doorway: a figure all hunched up with his knees up and his head hidden and Tao recognizes those black locks. Hasn't Baekhyun been dreaming and pining for them all day now? For two days now? 

"Kai?"

The boy looks up, a wave of gratitude across his tear-stricken face. They've dried by now, but the signs are still there. 

"Tao!"

"What are you doing outside?"

"I... saw you leaving earlier but I was too late to track you down..."

"So you've been sitting outside all this time?"

"Yes... Baekhyun isn't answering his phone." Suddenly Kai's eyes narrow on Tao's arm. "What... what happened to you?"

"Nothing," Tao sighs. He fumbles with his keys. "I'm guessing you want in?"

Kai's voice as he stands up is tiny, sweet, and adorable; everything Tao's always wanted to hear from somebody, but apparently it's not for him. Not today. "Please?"

Tao chuckles. "Yeah, come on. Are you here to make up?"

Kai nods eagerly. The door gives way and Tao goes through first. He needs a shower and probably something real to eat since he didn't get anything proper for dinner. He was too nervous to eat, although it's amusing to him now. What was there to be nervous about? He knew what the real answer would be before he went there. Stupid him.

"Looks like he's gone to bed," Tao whispers. "Well, you know where he is. Good luck." He pats Kai on the back, and gives him a little push towards Baekhyun's door. Then he scoops up his cat and lays it on his bed. He should clean his arm up first but he's so exhausted and stressed he just doesn't have the energy to do so. His bed is too comfy, and the only thing he can think about now is Kai being back, and Baekhyun will be happy now. Small comforts at least. 

He takes out his phone, squashed in his back pocket and texts one final message for the night.

Tao: Looks like Kai came back to make his peace

Ten minutes later when he's almost asleep, he gets the reply.

Sehun: Fantastic!

Sehun: Hey, Friday is party night. Should we all get back together and celebrate the lovebirds?

Tao: sounds like a plan goodnight

5,054 words

Phew! How did this end up becoming my longest single chapter ever? I planned for this to be a small fill-in chapter, and it became this huge monster! In more ways than one. This was supposed to be my bonus chapter in consolation for going out of town tomorrow, and I didn't want another week to go by without an update. I'm sorry for all of you who were routing for Taoris, but the point of this chapter is, as Baekhyun has said, not everybody gets it right. I'm just sorry Tao got the bad draw for this story. I did try to make parts of this chapter fun though! We got more Minzy, and she didn't even have to come back for a new session. Also the cute Tao + Sehun + Kyungsoo scene. And numerous bits of making fun of Kaibaek. 

And yes, see? Kai wasn't trespassing when he came back. He was just sitting around moping like a dork and waiting for somebody to let him inside to see his beloved Baekhyun. 

I promise the next chapter will get back on the Kaibaek plotline and all will be right with the world. When I get back from vacation... :)

<3 Rosie