There are two moping men in Baekhyun's apartment the next morning, and Baekhyun really isn't used to one of them being himself. It's bad enough that he had the whole place to himself last night because Tao was out (and didn't say where he was), so he'd had nothing better to do except wallow in misery and work himself in a fuss worrying about Kai. Not being able to call the boy was stressful enough, but if Kai needed his space then Baekhyun was going to do that, no matter how much it hurt. He went to sleep early and barely registered Tao coming home.

He wakes up late, surprised to see Tao up before him and already making breakfast. Tao's movements are slow and hazy, like a machine still gearing up but he looks better than Baekhyun at least with his red and puffy eyes. Tao just looks vaguely stressed, either because he didn't sleep much or something else.

“Morning,” Tao grumbles. “We're going fancy this morning. I got a box of waffle mix last night. Just add water.” 

“We have a waffle maker?” Baekhyun yawns and runs a hand through his hair, while Tao pretends he hasn't noticed Baekhyun's eyes. 

Tao breathes out half a laugh. “Well, I bought one of those too.”

“Wow. This is fancy.”

“Yep.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Nope. I got this,” Tao insists.

Baekhyun stands still, and his bed yearns for him to return to sleep, and his body feels so highly uncoordinated that he sways at just the touch of the kitten purring around his feet. He picks up Velvie and plops into the couch for a quick cuddle, his head spinning and wondering just how come Tao was being such a fabulous roommate this morning. Did he know? It takes Baekhyun a few minutes to get his tongue working again.

“What did you do last night?” Baekhyun asks. He cranes his neck over the back of the couch to await Tao's response.

His roommate smiles. “Nothing much.”

“How much is nothing much?” 

Tao laughs. “Honestly? You'll probably laugh at me, but I just went shopping.”

“By yourself? Or...”

“Yeah. Just by myself. I wanted some time to think, so I actually turned my phone off for most of the day and wandered about and shopped.”

“Tao? Without his phone? You must be sick or something.” Baekhyun laughs. He is rather impressed though.

“I know. It was crazy when I finally turned it back on. I had at least five missed calls and twenty texts. Only half of those were from Kris, believe it or not.”

Baekhyun can believe it. “Uhm, so you're still talking to each other?”

“Kinda sorta.” Tao shrugs. “It's mostly him talking to me about random stuff and occasionally I answer...?”

Baekhyun feels a heavy mental weight pressing upon his shoulders at this. If this is how Kris gives Tao room to breathe, then Baekhyun's not sure that definition has any meaning anymore, because he specifically remembers Tao telling Kris not to contact him until he'd figured things out, and still things haven't changed. Whether or not Kris' tactics are working though, Baekhyun cannot tell. Tao may be one huge emotional teddy bear some days, but he keeps his own council and his feelings on a tight reign when he thinks people are looking.

Unlike Baekhyun. Baekhyun feels like a huge emotional wreck right now, and he's positive it shows.

The first batch of waffles are ready before Baekhyun knows it and he scrambles to the table before Tao can to try to serve him the food as well. Baekhyun drowns it in butter and maple syrup and his waffle disappears before Tao sits down to eat his. Baekhyun makes his second waffle himself. There's no need for further conversation so they eat in comfortable silence while Tao reads the sports news on his phone, but finally the silence becomes oppressive, and the room feels large and empty, and even the unused coffee pot that shouldn't have any meaning whatsoever reminds Baekhyun that Kai isn't here to fret over him. He feels a sob coming on but represses it. Tao probably catches him anyways.

“Hey let's go do something different today.”

“Hmm?” Baekhyun moans.

“Bike riding. We can rent some and see how well our leg muscles adapt to something other than dancing.”

The suggestion is so absurd, but Baekhyun thinks he'd have agreed to go mountain climbing if Tao asked, and they eagerly make plans to go.

It's four in the afternoon when someone comes pounding on the door. Kai refuses to answer it even though the rattling reverberates along the wall of his bed. He buries his face into his pillows and pretends not to hear it. 

“Are you going to get that?” Kyungsoo asks. He's sitting on his bed surrounded by school books and Kai can't see him but he knows Kyungsoo is probably raising an eyebrow at him.

“Why do you assume it's for me?” Kai mumbles into his pillow. He picks his head up enough to voice out the rest. “It could be for you, or it could be the landlord or... I don't know.”

“Well it's not for me, because technically Sehun texts me before he shows up out of the blue, and seeing as how I just saw him pass by the window and your phone has been lighting up for the past hour, I think it's for you.”

Kai moans. The last person he wants to see right now is Sehun. He already yelled at him last night for no good reason, so he knows he's due for an earful, especially now when it seems like Sehun's caught up to him finally. The person Kai really wants to see right now is Baekhyun, but that feels like a deep dark pit that Kai built and tossed Baekhyun into, and he hasn't figured out yet how to retrieve him. It's the reason he's got his head buried in his pillows here instead of the ones over at Baekhyun's place, and has Sehun banging on his door.

The other bed creaks as Kyungsoo slides off to let in the visitor, and then he calmly returns to his bed when Sehun comes storming in.

Sehun pauses long enough to assess the situation before he curses. “Please tell me you haven't been laying here all day moping in bed,” he spits.

Kai rolls over just enough to bare his face. Sehun looks furious in a cool sort of way. 

“I haven't been lying here all day moping in bed,” Kai repeats drolly.

“I don't believe you.”

“It's true. Just ask Kyungsoo.”

To Sehun's disbelief, the other man verifies this, but Sehun still scowls and he drops onto the edge of the bed, scooting Kai over in the process. He sighs heavily, and Kai waits for more to come. None does.

Finally Kai has to ask. “What?”

Sehun sighs again. “I don't know. I guess I came over to be an and yell at you for being an , but now I just don't know what to do anymore.”

“You came over just to yell at me?” 

“Apparently so.”

“But...?”

“But now you just look so pitiful that I don't have the heart to tell you how miserable Baekhyun is and that he woke up this morning with red and puffy eyes and it's all because of you-- Oh, sorry I said I wouldn't say that. Oops.” Sehun looks far from apologetic, and Kai knows he deserves that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach where his whole body is threatening to cave in on itself.

“Have... you seen him?” he asks in a soft voice, afraid of the answer.

“No, but I have spies.” 

Kai rolls over and buries his face again. It's hard with Sehun sitting on the edge of his comforter, but Kai almost delights in any excuse that keeps him from moving. Anything to justify his fear of having to get up and go out and go find Baekhyun like he knows he should.

“So where'd you go this morning if you didn't sleep in all day?” Sehun asks.

“Just... about.”

“Is that so...”

Kai grunts.

“So... why are you back in bed now?” He gets no answer. “Okay never mind, because I think you know everything I want to say, and I'll only be more of a jerk if I remind you that Baekhyun probably thinks you're still mad at him. Oh, oops. There goes my mouth running itself as usual. Kai, get up, get out of bed, and figure this out because I'm pretty sure even Kyungsoo is miserable just for watching you mope.”

Kai whines, but Sehun has no mercy, and even Kyungsoo says, “No. It's cool. I'm just fine watching him be miserable,” in the most deadpan of voices. Sehun chuckles, and Kai almost wants to laugh. Almost. If this is what friends are for, then it's indeed a miserable process, but he's grateful to them anyways. Anything to lighten his mood right now. Except they can't fix his relationship, and that part is entirely his fault and his job to mend. 

“Can I take one more hour?” he pleads.

“Suit yourself. Just don't go blundering off in the wrong direction until you fix the root of your problem first.”

“And the root is...?”

Sehun smiles and pulls Kai's hand out from under the blanket. He s a cell phone into it, the same phone Kai's been ignoring all morning and all day before that. He's got a pile of messages, and none of them are from Baekhyun. That fact alone makes Kai tear up, and Sehun gets up to leave him alone for a moment. He moves to the other side of the room to bother Kyungsoo while Kai unlocks the screen and starts to scroll through his missed texts. Most are from Sehun, one from Kyungsoo earlier this morning asking where he'd gone, one from a fellow student he didn't have time to study with, and the most recent message: from his mom.

Monday morning dawns bright and cheery with a nip in the air, and Baekhyun does nothing but complain the whole walk to the company. Tao lets him rant, holding in a smile that Baekhyun notices and on any other day he would call him out for hiding that obnoxious little smirk, but today Baekhyun knows he's rambling and he's just grateful there's someone to hear him out.

“Stupid sun, and stupid sky. So bright I need sunglasses,” he mumbles. 

“Are you blaming the world now for moving on with life while you're still unhappy?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun replies petulantly.

He knows he sounds like whiny baby, but Tao told him last night that this kind of Baekhyun was better than the one who cried all day long, so for him at least Baekhyun is willing to act out his frustrations this way instead of the other. His phone had remained silent all day, with each hour piling up upon the one before it until Baekhyun was positive Kai was never going to call. For once he'd screwed up so bad that he'd lost his chance with Kai, even if he didn't understand the how or whys. Was it too much to try to help a person? Or was it really so unacceptable if you try to not let a person you like spiral downwards into a miserable place? These thoughts wormed themselves into his brain and heart all day long until Baekhyun almost believed every ugly truth, and that Kai would never want to speak to him again. Until Sehun called. 

“What's on the agenda for this week?” Tao asks when they're half a block away.

“Rehearse rehearse rehearse. Oh, and Seung Hoon's coming back tomorrow, so I bet we need to make his piece look amazing otherwise he might cry. Actually, he might do that even if it looks amazing.”

Tao laughs. “Must be a dream come true to see your choreo performed up on a stage. Just like it's ours to dance it.”

“Yeah... Guy's so good though I wish he'd just audition properly and join the company.”

“I'll work on him,” Tao promises. 

The building is unnaturally quiet at this hour of the day. Baekhyun leaves Tao and goes off in search of the other principals since they are supposed to be practicing one of their ensembles this morning, right after an hour of general warm-ups. If he's being honest with himself, Baekhyun really wants to throw himself into practice. He needs the distraction, something so physical and exhausting that he can't focus on anything else. He also wants to see Minseok and Luhan, although he doesn't know what he's supposed to say to them. 'Sorry but I accidentally caused your longtime friend to have a meltdown.' 'Sorry but Kai's having issues, and actually it's nothing to do with me.' Baekhyun's not even sure which one is worse. Kai was always going to have a relapse like this, Baekhyun is certain. Once a dancer, always a dancer. It was just Baekhyun's and Kai's incredible bad luck to be the wrong people for each other in this time. 

Baekhyun stays in his own little world most of the morning. He hears his instructors' voices without listening, sees other bodies around him without observing. By noontime he's spent and dripping with sweat and the burn in his calves and thighs and stomach and arms is a welcome distraction. He nearly doesn't get up, and most of the room clears out for lunch before he even lifts his head off the ground. He's alone until a sudden reminder goes off like an alarm clock in his head that he promised Tao they'd run out together for lunch instead of staying in. 

He drags himself up and throws on a sweatshirt, oblivious of the silence echoing around him. He remembers this room now. It's the place he and Kai spend the most time when they are together. Baekhyun doesn't know why his brain didn't put two and two together earlier. Maybe this was a self-preservation thing, except now it's been ruined and he wants to get out as soon as possible. 

The door is open and Baekhyun steps out into the hallway, the furthest doorway from the staircase. He's barely one room closer when the first sounds assail him: the telltale sounds of panting and some gasps. Baekhyun freezes, panic mode on as if he was one who was caught and not the other way around. Between pants, a voice echoes thinly down the hall. 

“We shouldn't... not here...”

The stairs. They're on the stairs, Baekhyun registers, and that voice sounds eerily like-

“Shhhh... Minseok. Everyone's gone downstairs by now.”

“You're sure?”

Baekhyun cringes at sloppy kissing sounds that fill the gap when Luhan doesn't instantly reply. It's like an offscreen scene for a made-for-TV movie, except no soundtrack sets the mood, there is pure silence otherwise, and Baekhyun's not supposed to be here.

“Yeah, Seok, no one's coming...”

Minseok groans in response, and Baekhyun really doesn't want to be the one to contradict Luhan now. They don't sound like they're too far along in their business, so for a moment Baekhyun thinks he can skip down the stairs in haste and apology and maybe it won't throw off their sync too badly. He hesitates though, heart pounding in fear and second-hand embarrassment, and his legs seem to be feeling the effects of his exertion. They clam up and freeze and refuse to move forward despite his brain telling him to just go for it.

Unfortunately that's when Minseok's head appears. Eyes closed and face drawn out in pleasure, he leans back on the staircase with his head resting on the top stair and right in Baekhyun's line of vision. Luhan remains offside, and when Minseok next whimpers Baekhyun is so very glad he can't see more. His legs find their pace again, and it's to retreat very, very slowly back down the hall. He backs into the dance room just as Minseok arches up, and that's the last thing he wants to accidentally see!

Carefully and silently Baekhyun pulls the door closed until he breaths finally when he hears the door latch. His heartbeat slows, and his adrenaline wears off, and he sinks ungracefully next to his bag by the mirror. He pulls out his phone then and texts Tao.

Baekhyun: Sorry I can't make it to lunch, but can you bring me something for later?

A few moments later, Tao responds.

Tao: Yeah. Where are you though?

Baekhyun: Upstairs trapped. Luhan and Minseok are on the stairs blocking my way...

Tao: Huh?

Tao: So.. why can't you come down?

Tao: Wait.

Tao: Oh.

Tao: Ohhhhh.

Hours later when the sun is setting and Tao and Baekhyun finally return from the studio - he begged Tao to stay late with him - Baekhyun showers and pulls on clean pajamas. They settle in front of the TV and Baekhyun calls out for the kitten but even she is being uncooperative today and sleeps on happily from beneath Tao's bed. 

Baekhyun sighs after about the fourth time he tried to coax her out and Tao snickers at him unhelpfully.

“What?” Baekhyun cries. “I just want something to cuddle!”

Tao throws him a pillow. “Here you go.”

“Thanks...” 

Baekhyun's phone lays on a table out of reach. He thinks he's doing good by not checking it every few minutes, although he's starting to feel like Tao. His roommate still plays with his every few minutes, and some of those are direct text replies. Baekhyun can tell by the scowls on Tao's face when he angrily punches send.

“Something going on?” Baekhyun asks him after about half an hour of off and on texting. He's been so caught up in his problems, and Tao has been so silent about stuff for the past two days that, that he hasn't had a chance to ask.

“Nothing really,” Tao tries to claim.

“Tao...? Are you sure?”  He's met with silence until Tao sends him a sheepishly guilty look.  ”Is it Kris, still?”

“Kind of,” he admits.

“What's going on?”

“He's actually on his way over here again.”

Baekhyun mutes the TV. “Is he... has he... decided...?”

“I don't know,” Tao answers before Baekhyun can fully ask. “I can't tell, and honestly I'm not even sure I care anymore but... I think I better to go talk to him.”

“Go talk to him? You mean out, or isn't he coming here?”

“Doesn't matter, but I think this time I should hear him out myself, and I don't want to bother you... I'm going to tell him to meet me at all night diner around the corner.”

Baekhyun tries to protest, telling Tao that he doesn't need to leave, that Baekhyun is fine with them being around. Tao insists though, and twenty minutes later he's out the door and Baekhyun shuffles into his bedroom to sleep. It's quiet and chilly and still there's no kitten to keep him company. He left his phone in the living room but with the blankets wrapped around him just right he refuses to get up and retrieve it. It's not like anyone's going to call, he reasons. Tao can take care of himself, Baekhyun hopes. And Kai... well Sehun promised Kai was in the process of figuring stuff out and not to worry, but Baekhyun did worry. After two days and not even a peep out of his boyfriend - were they still boyfriends after something like this? - how can he do anything but worry? It's been two days and even though they'd gone through distant spells of similar lengths, at least they always talked to each other. 

He's come to depend on Kai being around more than he should, in the short length of time. Used to his presence, or the thought of him, his whole being wrapped around the image of Kai at his side or not far off.

Baekhyun slinks off into a fretful half-sleep, one ear open for the sound of Tao returning. Somewhere after midnight he glances at the clock and rests his eyes shut once more. Finally he hears the door open and close, followed by a muffled voice, and then nothing for a little while. But then a light assaults Baekhyun's eyes, just a thin strip as his bedroom door opens and then closes. Baekhyun rolls over to avoid it, at the offender who disturbed his dark and comfy place. He tries to go back to sleep. Nearly succeeds in telling himself to fall asleep until someone breathes inside his room and it's not him.

“Tao?” Baekhyun opens his eyes wide, but he can't see anything. His mattress dips as someone places a knee into it. Then two knees and a figure crawls over the bed, pulling away at the top of the covers.

Lightly in his ear, a voice whispers. “Now why would you think it's Tao coming to join you in bed, huh?” A warm chuckle follows it, and Baekhyun sits up immediately.

“Kai??”

“Shhh, Baekhyun. Let's go back to sleep...” Kai's voice sounds gruff and sleepy. He slips under the covers and immediately wraps an arm around Baekhyun's body, pulling his lean back in to meet Kai's front. 

“You... came back,” Baekhyun whispers into the darkness.

“Mmmm.”

“I didn't know if you would...”

Kai presses a kiss lightly to Baekhyun's neck. Then he exhales heavily, apologetically, and hugs him tighter. “I'm sorry, Baek. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't- I shouldn't have done that. It's not your fault and I- I just want to sleep, but I wanted you and... please, forgive me?”

Baekhyun's eyes start to water. He twists out of Kai's grip and rotates in place and his eyes start to settle in the darkness to where he can barely make out Kai's worn out face. His boyfriend's eyes are open, and sad. His mouth starts to open to resume his pleas, but Baekhyun silences him before he can speak. Their kiss is slow as patiently, wordlessly, Baekhyun worms his way back into Kai's life. Two days without him there, and Baekhyun needs him to know how much he misses him. He pushes Kai onto his back, and then onto his side so this time it's Baekhyun who holds him back to front instead of Kai, and when he's got him secure in his embrace, he breaths onto Kai's neck and delivers small kiss after kiss, and his fingers find Kai's and he wrings them together. When he's certain Kai isn't going anywhere tonight, Baekhyun breathes, inhaling deeply Kai's scent and pulling him even closer when he exhales. 

“Baekhyun?” Kai asks shyly, when after a few minutes it seems Baekhyun may have fallen asleep.

“Shush Kai and we'll talk about it in the morning.” 

“Okay...”

Baekhyun smiles into the skin above Kai's shirt. “Just, don't go anywhere.”

“Okay,” Kai repeats softly.

“And promise you're never going anywhere ever again.”

“Okay.”

“And Kai?”

Kai is slower to answer this time. “Yes?”

“I love you.” 

3,859 words

Wooooooo!! So who saw this make-up scene coming so soon? Anyone? Anyone? I hope you expected it, because seriously don't you know me by now? I hate it when my characters are hurt and upset, and well... at least Kaibaek. Although Xiuhan looks like they're doing pretty good here, yeah? Heh heh heh heh

So anyways. I neglected all my other fics this week because I was determined to post Spotlights chaps back to back. Happy now? :D

<3 Rosie

P.S. If any of you have tumblr, you can follow me at ShinealightRose, which is my personal mixed-fandom blog, but I've also gone in with a friend for an all Exo blog called Exo-MastersoftheNoonaverse. Yeah, we're noonas. Who love Exo. Also read my friend's fics. Especially this one if you love Xiuhan.