Ryeowook’s POV

Do you ever get mad at yourself because you’re not even good at the things you thought you were good at? I once thought that I was good in singing. I thought I had a sweet voice and people everywhere told me how angelic my voice sounded. But now… When I hear Kyuhyun or Sungmin singing while we recorded our album, I don’t know what I was even doing there.

“Wookie, are you okay? Can you sing this part? If you can’t, Kyuhyun can help you with it.” Eunhyuk quickly made his way next to me while I tried to catch my breath. “Wookie…”

“I’ll try again.” I smiled palely.

Eunhyuk hesitated before letting me go. I tried again for the third time that day to reach my high notes. Yesung was counting on me. I wanted to give ELFs the best damn sets of adlibs. I had to give them something powerful and assuring. I wanted them to know that we were all doing Yesung proud, that we had it under control. But… With my coughs and my vomiting lately, my voice and breathing control had been so so terrible. While I tried going higher, my voice cracked and I groaned in pain as I felt my chest aching. The members stepped forward to me, all of them getting more worried.

“Wookie..” Kangin patted my back. “Maybe you should get some rest.”

“But hyung-”

“Wookie, if it’s too much for you, Kyu can do it.”

They just don’t understand. “Hyung, please let me do this.”

The members didn’t like it but they nodded, giving me another chance. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, concentrating on the breathing techniques I learnt. I wanted to do this, please, please, just let me get through this. It wasn’t only for Yesung, It wasn’t only for the members and ELFs. But it was for myself too. I wanted to prove to myself that I still had it in me. That no sickness was going to take away my talents and dreams, no sickness was ever going to take away what I was born to do.

But I was wrong.

I couldn’t do it. As soon as I reached the highest note, my voice ended up cracking like usual. I grabbed the microphone and looked down, too ashamed to look at my members. I didn’t know how long or how tight I had held onto the mike until I felt a hand gently removing my fingers off the mike. My eyes got blurry with tears as I looked up to Eunhyuk, smiling apologetically at me. His eyes were sparkling too but they were promising and right at that moment, I knew he understood how I felt. Eunhyuk passed me a bottle of water and nodded at me with determination.

“Come on, Wookie. Let’s try this again.”

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“You’re doing well, Wookie. Keep it up!”

Sungmin gave me a playful wink and I laughed. I felt so grateful and loved. I didn’t think I’ve ever felt like that before. We were supposed to be back by now, sleeping our tired asses off, but the members… Bless their hearts, they stayed and supported me while I recorded my parts for the album. They stayed and sacrificed sleep just for me. And do you know how important and dearly sleep was for idols? Especially idols that were getting ready for comeback. I was doing well, I supposed. My voice was still not as flawless as before an