Ryeowook’s POV

Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what.

Shindong and Eunhyuk picked me up from my house. When they saw me, their eyes glistened and Eunhyuk ran straight at me, hugging me and spinning me off the ground. Shindong too but he treated me a little bit more carefully. Hugging them back, seeing them again, it felt like all the pain in my body was gone. It felt like nothing was wrong in my life.

I had truly missed them.

Being apart from them from the members for almost three weeks now was pure torture. I mentally prepared myself for the worst. I purposely avoided all contact with them and I thought that I was doing fine and they were doing fine. I could do this and I wanted to do this as a favour for the members too. If I died and had to leave this world alone, leave my family and members, I could do it. But I was wrong. I couldn’t do it for myself and I couldn’t do it for the members. The moment my mother told me about the gathering the members were planning, I jumped straight up and started packing. I couldn’t do it. I miss them too much.

“Look at you!!” Shindong mused. “You’re all skin and bones now!!”

“Teuk hyung is going to take one look at you and know that something’s wrong!” Eunhyuk said but then pulled me in for a hug again. “Oh Wookie!! I’ve missed you so much!!”

The three of us just hugged and laughed together, spinning around. My umma and appa laughed at how silly we looked but we were just grinning like fools, not at all feeling embarrassed. I hugged and bided goodbye to my parents and before I could turn to leave, my umma pulled me back and hugged me tight.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She whispered.

“Sorry? For what umma?” I asked, confused.

“Honey, I know you must have really missed them. They’re your family too.”

“It’s okay, umma.” I smiled and kissed her cheeks. “You did what you had to do.”

“I love you, umma.”

I kissed my mother’s cheeks and hugged her again. Eunhyuk and Shindong playfully peeled me off her and dragged me away, waving happily back at my parents. In the car, Eunhyuk and Shindong happily chatted away, telling me stories about the members and their schedules. I didn’t have any stories to exchange with them and all I did was listened.

I always did, anyway.

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The thought of seeing Leeteuk and Henry, Sungmin and Kangin and everyone else. Oh gosh. I was really so excited. Resting my head against the car seat, I closed my eyes listening to Eunhyuk and Shindong’s rap battle. It was hilarious and so nonsensical. Sometimes, they’d get me to add in one or two lines and I’d add in the most pathetic lines anyone could ever think of. Still… It was really really fun.

For the past three weeks, I didn’t know but I had been depressed. The doctors warned me about this. About my emotions going a little craycray. About my mood swings and depression. It didn’t helped when my parents brought me back home, away from the members. I felt lonely and too babied. I loved spending time with my parents, I really did. But … When umma and appa went off to work or to the market or out to do errands, I couldn’t think straight. I felt so lonely; I felt like giving up, it was like everything around me went dark.

I stopped taking my chemo pills when I found out that my hair was dropping. I hated it. I was an idol for god’s sake! Idols don’t go bald! No one would love me when I go bald. No one. Even t