[CONTENTID1]Chapter 44[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "All We Know" - The Chainsmokers

 [/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]

"Fighting flames of fire

Hang onto burning wires

We don't care anymore"

"Not at all," he said as he picked out another chicken and took a bite before facing Moo Yul again. "I'm gay."

There was a commotion next to Moo Yul, because apparently Heung Soo had choked with the shot of soju he had just brought to his mouth and was now coughing loudly.

Moo Yul immediately seized the opportunity to start laughing right away, but his smile slowly dissipated as Nam Soon showed no sign of finding this funny. In fact, he was staring at Moo Yul and back at Heung Soo, seeming a bit worried.

The truth was that Nam Soon regretted his words only a second after saying them, and soon afterwards he also regretted losing the chance that Moo Yul had just given him to pretend it was all a joke.

Moo Yul, who stared in astonishment at both Nam Soon and Heung Soo - that was now hiding his face in his hands, staring blankly at the chicken wings right in front of him, only poking them with no sign that he was about to eat them - took a deep breath as he seemed to be thinking through all of it.

"Okay..." Moo Yul shook his head, catching a glimpse of Nam Soon's eyes, that was staring right at him as if waiting for any harsh reaction at any moment. "I mean, really -" he added as Nam Soon frowned at him, looking uneasy "I don't have any problem with that," he continued, trying his best to sound as natural as possible, but Nam Soon did notice that his voice was trembling, as if he himself was trying to believe his own words.

Moo Yul was now staring at Heung Soo, hoping he would make any comments about it, but he was pouring himself another shot of soju and didn't seem like he was planning to say something any time soon.

Nam Soon handed him his own glass, and Heung Soo took a few extra minutes to serve him, but none of them spoke for the rest of the night. They quickly finished eating and drank all the rest of the soju before they decided it was best to go back to the hotel.

"Two hearts still beating

On with different rhythms

Maybe we should let this go"

That bedroom would be completely silent had it not been for the sound of the water splashing against the shower tiles. Heung Soo was taking their clothes from inside their backpack, and neither Nam Soon nor him spoke a word for a while - Nam Soon didn’t dare look at Heung Soo, scared of whatever he might be thinking about what he had just done.

As he drew nearer, however, Heung Soo grabbed his wrist, forcing Nam Soon to look up at him. Heung Soo was staring at the bathroom door, but soon enough his eyes met him, watching every inch of the younger's expression.

"What the was that?" Heung Soo asked in a subtle tone, not too loud for Moo Yul to hear, but loud enough to make a statement.

"I'm sorry..." whispered Nam Soon, looking down in embarrassment. "I think it was the alcohol, I don't know..." he continued, still facing his feet, "I'm sorry Heung Soo, I really didn't think it - ," but Heung Soo was already nodding his head in understanding.

" - It's okay," Heung Soo interrupted him, tightening his grip on his wrists. "But you should have warned me first..." Heung Soo shrugged, "I mean I got all awkward and such."

Nam Soon returned his gaze, and was relieved to see that Heung Soo didn't seem really mad at him as he thought he would be. "I know... But as I said, it just came out... I didn't plan to say it," he explained and Heung Soo nodded slightly. Both stood there for a few minutes, staring at each other in silence, only the sound of Moo Yul's shower filling the room. Heung Soo slowly let go of Nam Soon's wrist as they stared at each other.

"I'm sorry," whispered Nam Soon "I know he's your friend, not mine. I shouldn't have -" continued Nam Soon, but Heung Soo shook his head, his grip on Nam Soon's wrists moving down to his hands, holding it still between his fingers.

"No, it's fine." said Heung Soo, "It's about you. You can tell anyone you feel like" he comforted him, almost without blinking as he stared into his eyes. He couldn't ask for this secret from him. Not when he told his sister about their relationship, despite all Nam Soon's pleads for him not to tell. He knew it was not the same - Moo Yul was not really close to Nam Soon. But, even so, he had every right to tell anyone about it. It was not like he had told him about their relationship anyway. He told Moo Yul about his uality, and that, Nam Soon had all the right in the world to do.

"He won't suspect you," assured Nam Soon "Don't worry," he insisted upon Heung Soo's uneasy expression. "Should we make up stories about your girlfriend?" asked Nam Soon in a low voice, but Heung Soo wasn't anguished by this as Nam Soon thought. He just shook his head and slowly pulled him close. He could understand Nam Soon's decision, probably even more than himself.

Heung Soo kissed his lips and wasn't at all alarmed when he heard the shower being turned off. In fact, part of him wanted to forget all this and finally be honest about them.

But Nam Soon pulled away, looking more apprehensive than Heung Soo would ever be, though he didn't notice it.

"Should we tell him?" whispered Heung Soo, approaching the other, but Nam Soon stepped back, staring at the closed door and back at Heung Soo.

"No!" He exclaimed, louder than he had planned. "Don't even think about it," Nam Soon insisted, taking another step back, just in time for Moo Yul to come out of the bathroom wearing some blue pajamas. He glanced quickly at Heung Soo and Nam Soon before moving on to his bed.

They didn't say another word, and Nam Soon took a meaningful look at Heung Soo before heading back to the bathroom himself.

"So..." murmured Moo Yul, sitting over his bed as Heung Soo quickly changed into a pajama that was really wrinkled, since it was crumpled in his bag all day. He avoided Moo Yul’s eyes on purpose, because he already knew what was to come. "Did you know?"

Heung Soo still didn't return his gaze, and lay down on his bed, pretending that he had no idea of what he was talking about. He really had no plans to start talking about this subject right now. "What?" He asked.

"About Nam Soon... You know.." He continued, and Heung Soo knew that Moo Yul was also avoiding eye contact now, apparently uncomfortable about what he was asking him.

Heung Soo held his breath for a few seconds and stared down at his feet, pretending not to be thinking about this so much "...Yeah..." He whispered "I've know for a couple months..."

Moo Yul forgot about his embarrassment and stared again at Heung Soo - who hadn’t yet returned his gaze.

"And you never meant to tell me about it?"

Heung Soo's and Moo Yul’s eyes finally met, but Heung Soo turned to face his own feet again, as if afraid that the other might read his mind. "What does it matter?"

Moo Yul seemed to be taken aback, and looked the other way, that feeling of embarrassment apparently quickly returning. "Well... not that it matters but..." He shrugged, "don't you think it's something I should've known?"

Heung Soo's eyes went back to him, and he really wasn't expecting this kind of thought coming from him, but if he was not mistaken - "He's not into you, if that's what's worrying you," his words came out a bit harsher than he had planned, but if his suspicion was right he wasn't even a bit regretful.

Moo Yul cheeks flushed suddenly and he gestured his hands in front of him in a desperate sign that this wasn't what Heung Soo was thinking. "Not me..." He made sure to empathize that last word. Heung Soo forcibly rolled his eyes, trying his best to act as if this were the stupidest thing he'd ever heard, when, in his heart, he hoped desperately that Moo Yul hadn't already figured everything out. Sure, he asked Nam Soon if they should tell him, but right now, in front of him, he was not that brave anymore.

It wasn't his sister, but that was exactly the reason why he had no confidence to tell him the truth.

The shower soon turned off, and Moo Yul was fast to lay down before Nam Soon entered the room. Heung Soo was pretty sure that he couldn't possibly have slept that fast, but since he had no plans to keep talking about this - especially in front of Nam Soon, he went along with it, sending a quick stare at Nam Soon before closing his eyes.

"Are we fading lovers?

We keep wasting colors

Maybe we should let this go"

Moo Yul was still asleep when Heung Soo came out of the bathroom wearing only his bathing shorts. The sunlight was coming from beneath the still closed curtain, and Nam Soon was standing by his backpack, packing his clothes. They would be leaving at night and didn't want to have a tough time packing again.

He looked over at Heung Soo as soon as he came into the room, and a soft smile appeared on his face.

Heung Soo pretended not to see it as he put his cell phone inside his pocket. Nam Soon took just a few steps ahead and was standing right behind him, his face a little too close to Heung Soo’s neck for his taste.

"What the are you doing?" Heung Soo whispered, turning around just enough so he could see the younger with the corner of his eyes.

"Nothing," Nam Soon's nose was almost touching his skin when he stepped back, with a smirk on his lips. "You smell good," whispered Nam Soon in a low tone.

Heung Soo couldn't repress his laughter, but instinctively pushed him and faced the wall like he were hiding from Moo Yul - even though, as far as they knew, he was still asleep over his bed.

They were startled by the heaving sound of someone moving on the bed. Apparently Moo Yul had just woken up. Nam Soon took another step back and stared at him, but Heung Soo barely moved.

"We're having breakfast," said Heung Soo, pointing out to the door. "Don't take too long, we still wanna go to the beach," and he gestured to Nam Soon to follow him outside.

The breakfast table was a simple one: It had a few tradicional Korean soups, but served mainly the traditional western breakfast - probably for tourists. There were some kinds of breads, butter, eggs and some cakes.

Heung Soo served himself with some bread and a cup of coffee and sat down next to Nam Soon - who filled his plate with eggs and cakes.

"You keep with the funny jokes and he will figure out," Heung Soo murmured while he cut his bread in half, though he didn't seem a bit angry about it. Rather than that, he seemed to find it quite funny.

"My bad," Nam Soon whispered as he took one of the halves Heung Soo had cut and helped him spread the butter. "But look at you... You know how I get in the morning, and still..." Nam Soon said those sentences in a carefully low tone. His eyes slid down Heung Soo's chest and back to his face, his cheeks getting a bit flushed.

"Shut up," Heung Soo laughed, accepting the bread with butter that Nam Soon just handed him. "We're going to the beach, how do you expected me to dress..."

Nam Soon seemed to be just about to argue about it when Moo Yul sat at their table, getting one of the pieces of cake Nam Soon had brought. They both got silent waiting for Moo Yul to say something, but instead he filled his mouth with cake and remained silent.

Nam Soon gave a quick glance at Heung Soo, that also refrain himself from talking and concentrated on finishing his breakfast.

"Never face each other

One bed, different covers

We don't care anymore"

The sun was already high in the sky when they reached the crowded beach. They sat in a more empty spot, near a few rocks where only a few families were sunning themselves around.

Nam Soon was sitting on his shirt beside Heung Soo, who looked out into the clear, calm sea. The smell was of salt and fish by it was rather a cozy one than anything bad.

"I think I could even sleep here," Heung Soo said with his eyes closed.

"I thought you were one of those people that would come to the beach to swim and run," Nam Soon said while he opened the sunscreen and began to apply it on Heung Soo's cheeks and nose. Heung Soo didn't even shudder at his touch, and remained with his eyes closed. "Guess you're getting old," he mocked, spreading the rest of the lotion over his shoulders.

"Yah," he finally opened his eyes, taking the lotion from Nam Soon's hands and spreading more of it in his arms. "I'll do it later. We just got here," he mumbled, handing it back to Nam Soon, who helped him spread it over his back. They seemed to had forgotten about Moo Yul for those brief minutes, but were reminded of him again when he cleared his throat at their side. Heung Soo stared at him, but Nam Soon was too focused on spreading the lotion over Heung Soo's back to notice him.

"I'm going to buy some water. Do you want a bottle?" He stood up, checking his wallet in his pocket.

"Please," Heung Soo pulled Nam Soon's hands away and got some money notes to give to Moo Yul. Nam Soon shook his head, wiping his hands on his swim shorts.

Before they could tell, Moo Yul was already out of sign. Whether on purpose or not, Nam Soon didn’t bother. He stared at Heung Soo at his side, and their eyes met in a silent stare. The wind was pleasant, and it was not that hot anymore. The welcoming scent, and the loud talk of people coming and going almost made them forget any problems they might be going through their minds.

"We have to come here another time..." Nam Soon whispered, looking back at Heung Soo. "Just the two of us."

And they shared a silent smile that only both of them understood. A silent one that said too much.

It took a long time for Moo Yul to come back, and Heung Soo was sure he took his time on purpose - he was probably still too awkward with everything they had talked the night before, but neither he nor Nam Soon had any plans to address that subject anymore.

The weather remained good during the afternoon. They took their time admiring the landscape and taking a swim - they didn't even need to leave for lunch - the bar where they came the night before was open so they could buy some beer and appetizers all day.

It was past four o'clock in the afternoon when the clouds began to move over the sun, and most people around were taking a leave. Nam Soon was still sitting over his shirt with a empty bottle of beer in his hands while Moo Yul came out from the sea. Heung Soo had went out to run half and hour ago and still hadn't returned.

"I think it's going to rain," Moo Yul said as soon as he reached him. Nam Soon looked up at the sky and noticed the grey clouds approaching. "I think it's better to get back to the hotel," he continued, picking up the empty bottles he’d left behind. Nam Soon was now looking around, seeming a bit worried.

"Yeah..." He murmured without looking at him - his eyes were still running down the beach. "I think I'll wait for Heung Soo though,"

Moo Yul put on his shirt and also looked around for a few seconds before turning his attention to Nam Soon. "He will know we went back..."

Nam Soon shook his head, but his eyes were still on the groups of people preparing to leave. "Yes... But I'll wait," he looked at Moo Yul with a small smile on his face "You can go," he assured him, and Moo Yul didn't answer. Instead, he did as Nam Soon suggested and slowly headed toward the hotel across the street.

A few minutes had passed and Nam Soon was already standing with his shirt back on. He was still looking around the beach searching for Heung Soo. Perhaps he noticed the rain forming and returned to the hotel? He was about to leave when he finally saw Heung Soo coming running back some meters away, just as the first drops of rain began to fall on his skin.

By the time he finally caught up with him, the rain had already thickened and Nam Soon's shirt was completely glued to his skin. "What took you so long?" Nam Soon complained as they ran towards the hotel. The beach was already completely empty and even the bar where they ate all day had closed its windows because of the heavy rain.

When they finally reached the hotel room, their clothes were dripping all over the floor. Nam Soon handed a dry towel to Heung Soo - not before running it all over Heung Soo's wet hair. He took it from his hand and wrapped himself in it.

Nam Soon was waiting for Heung Soo to finish drying himself when another towel struck him in his head.

"Use that one," Moo Yul, who was in his bed during all this time, threw it toward him. "You're wetting the whole floor," he said, but without taking his eyes from his cell phone. For a minute, Nam Soon had once again forgotten about him. "Just change, we can have a dinner downstairs and head back to the airport, what do you think?" he asked, and Nam Soon didn't answer, staring at Heung Soo instead.

"Sure. I'll change quickly," Heung Soo nooded, grabbing his backpack that was lying on the floor and heading inside the bathroom after rubbing his towel over Nam Soon's head - "Yah, off," the younger cursed, pushing it away from his eyes.

"I'll ride my bike up to the road

Down the streets right through the city

I'll go everywhere you go"

All the way to the airport and until the finally got on the plane was quiet most of the time - not only because of the still awkward mood between them, but also because they were surprisingly tired. In fact, Heung Soo was mostly thankful when he could finally get his seat between Moo Yul and Nam Soon inside the airplane.

Nam Soon stared through the window and watched, still amazed, as the plane took off and the city gradually got smaller, until it disappeared from sight once more. He didn't count the minutes going by, and was awaken from his daydream with the clouds when he felt something fall on his shoulder - Heung Soo's head was lying deep asleep over him. His lips were half open, and he was breathing slowly in low gasps. Nam Soon stared at him for a few minutes, trying not to wake him up. It felt cozy and sweet, to stay like this with him... Knowing that he could hold him and kiss him almost anytime. It's been months already since they got together, but Nam Soon couldn't still quite believe it. He couldn't believe how lucky he was... Not only to have Heung Soo by his side, but also to have his love... He shook his head. It was not the time to be this cheesy.

He tried to hold his smile and his eyes were instantly drawn to his side, where Moo Yul was watching him, he didn't know for how long. Their eyes met for a few seconds, and Nam Soon turned back to the window, trying to pretend that he hadn't just been admiring Heung Soo blatantly for so long.

And he knew he should have woken Heung Soo, or push him away... But he didn't. It didn't matter.

The clouds were soon covering the entire sight of his window, and it only took them a few minutes to cross it completely, and the city of Seoul was right below them. And then, the buildings got so close that he felt like they were about to crash at any moment. But before that could happen, they landed.

Heung Soo woke up with the turbulence of the plane hitting the ground. He looked around in dismay, but neither Moo Yul nor Nam Soon seemed to notice - even though Nam Soon probably felt it when he moved away from his shoulder. But even so, he remained staring through the window - Heung Soo didn't know if this was because of the mood or because he was still too entertained by the flight.

Yet, the way out of the airport was quiet, and Heung Soo was glad when he could finally say goodbye to Moo Yul and head back home with Nam Soon.

"See you tomorrow," said Heung Soo, but Moo Yul just nodded, without really looking at them.

"We've passed the end, so we chase forever

'Cause this is all we know

This feeling's all we know"

It was a comforting feeling to be back home. Nam Soon threw himself against the couch, not even bothered by the heat - maybe this feeling would change during the next day, but for now he was grateful to be back.

"Not really what we were expecting, was it?" Nam Soon murmured, his head falling on the sofa and his eyes closed - he hadn't slept in the plane like Heung Soo, and suddenly he was feeling very tired.

But the silence coming from Heung Soo made him open his eyes: Heung Soo was standing by the table, staring at something on his cell phone.

"Everything okay?" Nam Soon asked, pulling away from the sofa and looking at him curiously. It took a few seconds for Heung Soo to finally look back, and there was absolutely no color in his face when he did so.

"Nam Soon..." Heung Soo's eyes meet his for a few seconds before he looked down at his phone again, as to check if he wasn't dreaming. When he seemed assured that something there was real, he looked at Nam Soon again. And he was smiling when he did so. Not a wide smile, nor a terrified one... But a tiny smile on the corner of his lips. "Noona... There's a missed call from noona."

"We're falling apart, still we hold together"

 

Last Chapter of the year!! Hope you like this one :) And thanks cow for helping me with ideias for the chapter!

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