[CONTENTID1] Chapter 2[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "Never Be The Same" - Red

[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

"I can see, I can still find

You're the only voice my heart can recognize

But I can't hear you now"

Go Nam Soon's mood was just like the weather that night - cold, grey and empty. That unwelcome week had arrived. The day Heung Soo would move to Seoul was approaching, and Nam Soon had never felt so empty before. He should have known better, he should have realized that sooner or later, Heung Soo was bound to leave. He had a great future ahead of him, because Heung Soo was never like him.

Nam Soon had finally arrived home on that cold day, after spending the whole night at the arcade playing with the others gang members. He wanted to forget, to prove himself that he could still be happy without Heung Soo and that his life didn't depend on him. But why was Park Heung Soo the only thing in his thoughts the whole day?

He had soccer training today, and usually they would meet after it and go out to eat some ramen together and talk about anything they felt like talking. However, Nam Soon didn't wait for him today. He went alone, but gave up after feeling the scent of the food that reminded him so much about Heung Soo. He wondered if he would still be able to eat it when Heung Soo left.

His house was dark and empty without him. His father wasn't home as usual - he was never home, but Nam Soon was already used to it. Still, he was not used to Heung Soo not being there. And maybe he would never be.

Would Heung Soo make new friends there in Seoul? Would he get together with more smart and rich kids? Would he still remember him? If someday they lost contact, he hoped he would still think of him. He hoped Heung Soo would keep him in his memories. Because Nam Soon would never forget him. He couldn't, and he also didn't want to.

The truth was that Nam Soon didn't want Heung Soo to leave.

"I know I'll never forget

the way I always felt with you beside me

and how you loved me then, yeah."

Nam Soon dropped his backpack over his bed and laid down over it, still with his school uniform on. He closed his eyes, trying to get away from those thoughts he didn't want to have, when he heard a knock on the door.

Slowly, he headed to the front door, and Heung Soo stood there, wearing clean clothes and carrying his backpack with his soccer uniform and shoes already inside it. He had just came back from his training.

"I was waiting for you there, where were you?" Heung Soo mumbled, entering the younger house without waiting for permission. Nam Soon didn't answer, and closed the door behind him.

He followed him to his room, where Heung Soo laid down over the blanket, leaving his backpack tossed aside.

"I will sleep here then..." he mumbled, searching for some manga to read. But Nam Soon just sat over his bed, facing his own feet without talking. Heung Soo had noticed his attitude since some days ago. He wanted to question it, but he was also afraid to do it.

"Nam Soon..." he whispered, and the boy faced him with a fake smile.

"How was training?" he interrupted him, trying to change the subject from whatever it was Heung Soo wanted to talk about.

Heung Soo tried to force a smile, but failed. He didn't really feel like smiling. "Okay," he answered, studying Nam Soon's expression and trying to understand what he was worried about - trying to see what he wanted to say, but didn't.

Nevertheless, Heung Soo never got to know.

"I just can't walk away

'cause after loving you

I can never be the same."

They slept in separate beds that night. Nam Soon laid down on his bed and Heung Soo at the bedspread on the floor. He didn't take his eyes from the younger, that didn't turn around to look at him even once. Later, Nam Soon wished he had. He regretted sleeping separately from him on that last night. He should have held his hand, told him what he meant to him - what those years had meant to him.

But he didn't. He didn't because he didn't want him to see his swollen eyes - his watery eyes. He didn't want Heung Soo to see the muffled tears.

He thought that he would have more days with him. If he had known that this would be their last, would he have said the words that had been stuck inside him? But at the time, he was not even sure what he could say. Which words would be good enough to tell him what he meant to him?

Right now he knew. He knew that Heung Soo was, and would always be the only person that gave a meaning to his life. Because those years with Park Heung Soo were the only years that Go Nam Soon truly felt alive.

"I'll never be the same

I'm caught inside the memories, the promises

and yesterdays and I belong to you."

Nam Soon didn't know what got into him on that fastidious night. Why couldn't he control himself? It was supposed to be only a farewell ritual. They were going to give him a few kicks and Heung Soo would be free to leave the gang and live his dream. But he was mad and resented because Heung Soo was going far away and leaving him behind. He had promised that he would always be there for him, but now he was leaving and Nam Soon was going to be left alone.

Those thoughts ran around in his head while he beat him up. It was his best friend, but he couldn't control himself. Heung Soo was always the one that would stop him when he got mad like this. But this time, it was Heung Soo the one getting beaten, so he couldn't possibly stop him. That's why Nam Soon kicked him down with all he got. He released his anger without thinking straight, without thinking that that was his friend.

He gave a fiercely kick, and the sound of bone breaking brought him back to reality, along with Heung Soo's muffled scream of pain. The sound of his best friend cries was what made him stop. Slowly and trembling, Nam Soon backed away. Heung Soo stared at him with bruises on his face, his hands clutching at his broken knee. But what really broke his heart was the expression in Heung Soo's eyes.

B with tears, disappointment, sadness... How could he? How could Nam Soon do that to him? His best friend, the person he loved the most in this world.

He had just ruined his life. Nam Soon, on that cold and dark night, tore it all apart. He tore Heung Soo's wings, and he would never forgive himself for it.

"You left this emptiness inside

and I can't turn back time"

Nam Soon dragged himself along the hospital hallway. He couldn't think straight, he was afraid and lost. He searched for Heung Soo along the rooms, but he was not really sure if he wanted to see him. But there, across that window, he finally saw him.

Heung Soo hit the glass when he noticed Nam Soon. His eyes were full of resentment, and that was when he knew - that Heung Soo would never forgive him for what he did. And all the courage he was trying to gather to finally get inside that hospital wing disappeared in a blink of an eye. He couldn't possibly face him.

So, slowly, he turned around. With his feet trembling, he reached the exit of the hospital without looking back. He didn't have the guts to see him. He was not prepared to hear his words - that he wouldn't see a bastard like him ever again. If Heung Soo told him that, what would he do? He only had him. He couldn't lose him.

Nam Soon couldn't leave, but he also couldn't go back. So instead, he stood there at the entrance of the hospital, shaking, with his eyes b with tears. Desperate, lost, regretful.

What had he done?

"I just can't walk away.

No, I can't walk away from you."

He never went back. For a long time, Nam Soon never left his room. The windows of his apartment remained closed. He just ate, slept, and ate again without noticing the time going by. He was alone, lost, and hopeless.

He knew it was already too late. He lost Heung Soo, and would never see him ever again.

Some days he would wake up lying over the floor, with the light from the moon badly entering his room and lots of packages of ramen thrown at the ground. He would think of Heung Soo and remember the days where they sat together over that same floor, talking about stupid subjects, reading manga and laughing until they fell down crying with their belly hurting. And then, he would think about the look in his eyes on that night. But Heung Soo was already long lost, and he didn't have anyone to blame but himself.

He was the one that ruined everything. The one that destroyed his dreams - it was none other than Nam Soon.

"You led me here,

then I watched you disappear."

He didn't remember how much time he spent locked inside his room. However, he could remember the day he finally got out. It was warm and the street was full of people. Not a single person noticed him walking down the streets all by himself.

At first, he had nowhere to go. Later, without thinking, he went to Heung Soo's house. But he had already left, they said. They moved, and no one knew where to. Nam Soon spent the next weeks at the comic book store they always used to hang out. And then, at the ramen place they ate together. He couldn't eat there, but he waited. He hoped that one day Heung Soo would come back smiling at him, and that everything would be back to how it was before.

But that was just a stupid dream. Heung Soo was already gone and it was all over.

Everything between him and Heung Soo had ended, and now only the memories remained. Memories of the best time of his life - memories of his long lost dreams.

He moved with his father to another city some months later, and never went back to Gyeonggi-do. He never heard of Park Heung Soo again.

"And how can I pretend I've never known you?

Like it was all a dream, no."

Ten years later, Nam Soon never truly forgot about him. Those memories they had together were slightly fading away, however, the feelings he had when Heung Soo was there - those feelings didn't disappear. The warmth, the happiness, the feeling of freedom, of safety - he could remember it. Back then, as long as Heung Soo was by his side, everything would be okay.

He put back the old pictures in the box, however, he couldn't return that last one - the last picture they took together, on the day Heung Soo won his last game. The smile on his face, his sparkling and dreaming eyes.

Even after all those years, Nam Soon sometimes wondered if one day he would be able to see his friend again.

"Heung Soo... How are you doing now?" he whispered, with his back leaning against the wardrobe and his fingers brushing over Heung Soo's bright smile on the picture.

"...Are you happy?"

"I know you, who are you now?

Look into my eyes if you can't remember.

Do you remember?"

I know I said I would take longer with this chapter, but since it's still shorter, I managed to upload it before easter holydays! :) I wouldn't be able to write until Tuesday because a friend of mine will visit me! yey *-* (I'm really anxious since it's been more than 5 years that i don't see her... xD) So, yeah, I'll have good holydays, and hope I'll be able to upload the third chapter next week... (I won't promise, since i still don't have a good summary of it... >.<) Thanks to Yoselin (stormpiece.tumblr.com) for reviewing the chapter.