[CONTENTID1]Chapter 35[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "Wild" - Troye Sivan

[/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]

“You make my heart shake

Bend and break

But I can't turn away”

Go Nam Soon let the warm water fall over his body, trying to calm down his heartbeats a little, but the smile on his face revealed how he truly felt at this moment - that he wanted to scream out the window how happy he was, and that he didn't want this moment to ever end.

However, all this happiness brought him another feeling: anxiety. Doubts started to appear that made him question this situation. What would happen next? And what should he do about it? He bit his lips, washing his face in the hot water, but suddenly realised that he should decrease the temperature of it - a cold shower would be much more appropriate in this situation.

He knew what he wanted to do next, and the fact that they were going to sleep on the same bed only made it even worse. Should he make the move first? Or Heung Soo would do it? Perhaps they should talk about it before anything? However he was not even sure of how to bring up the subject.

He bit his lips even harder, the smile on his face suddenly growing wilder as his heart beat joyfully inside his chest. It was a good kind of anxiety. One that made it seem like butterflies were throwing a party inside his chest and belly, and that made everything seem more delightful.

He stepped out of the shower, drying his hair, and wiped the fog from the mirror, looking at himself. Maybe he didn't use enough soap? He was not used to putting on any extra perfume, would Heung Soo complain if he did so? He said he liked the scent of his shampoo... Maybe he should have put on some more?

He felt his cheeks forming a smile again, because how could he control it? The memories of what just happened were so clear, and the fact that Heung Soo was there behind that door... And that it would be okay to just go there and feel those lips, his warmth, his scent... It was impossible to control this happiness.

He stared once more at his own dark eyes and wet hair, trying to make them look the best possible. Did Heung Soo prefer him with straight or messy hair? Maybe he should ask.

He heard the sound of his own laugh, and his cheeks getting slightly warmer. He probably looked so stupid right now. But honestly... He didn't care.

He put on his clothes, and breathed hard. It was not something from another world, so why was he dying with anxiety? Trying to fade out all these nervous thoughts, he just opened the door to the room.

“'Cause there's still too long to the weekend

Too long 'till I drown in your hands

Too long since I've been a fool”

The lights of the room were when Nam Soon opened the door, but Heung Soo was lying down on the bed, his face pressed against the pillow and his breath was coming out slowly.

Nam Soon approached the bed, and watched Heung Soo's chest going up and down as the sounds of his breaths filled the silent room.

He pondered the situation, feeling a bit bad now as he realised that he had taken too long inside the bathroom. He had thought too much, and prepared to much. He knew that was because he was nervous... And,  perhaps, he wasn't ready to leave.

He reached out to Heung Soo's forehead, intending to move his messy hair away from his eyes but gave up. He didn't want to risk waking him up. Heung Soo appeared to be having good dreams, so he didn't want to bother him. Instead, he just smiled. As he watched the man sleeping so calmly and deep, he couldn't help but feel that joy inside his chest and his cheeks getting warmer as he had never felt so fulfilled in such a long time.

He adjusted under the blanket and laid by Heung Soo's side over the bed, facing him. Looking at that face, he was so ecstatic that he even forgot to turn off the lights.

“White noise in my mind

Won't calm down

You're all I think about”

Should he talk about it? That was the question that didn't leave his mind since Nam Soon woke up. It was what he had been asking himself all the way when they ate breakfast, every time his eyes found Heung Soo's during that silent morning while they ate rice, too focused in their thoughts to start any conversation.

He wanted to talk about it... But after the night had passed, Nam Soon had suddenly become afraid again. Afraid that Heung Soo would regret his decision. That was why he didn't ask. His throat was too dry to even talk, so how could he?

They ate the rice without saying a word, and soon Heung Soo was already up, getting his backpack ready to leave. He suddenly stopped on his way, with his back to Nam Soon who was heading to the sink, but still able to see Heung Soo’s face from the side.

And Nam Soon was sure that he saw his cheeks becoming a bit flushed when Heung Soo finally turned around. He had an awkward smile on his face and Nam Soon felt his heart stop beating for a second. Was it from apprehension? Or had he seen what Heung Soo was thinking in his eyes before he even said it?

He wasn’t sure. But as Heung Soo approached him, he was not sure how he managed to stay standing up, since his knees went weak like he didn’t even have bones.

“Let's do something tonight. Go somewhere,” Heung Soo said, that awkward smile suddenly changing to a loving one. One that gave Nam Soon the urge to touch those full lips again. But he didn't need to, because Heung Soo was faster. He quickly took a step forward and touched Nam Soon's lips with his, in a quick peck but enough to make Nam Soon’s cheeks burn.

And then he smiled, finally relieved. Heung Soo hadn't changed his mind after all.

...

It was past two in the afternoon. Nam Soon was leaning against the counter, with a stupid smile on his face that would probably make him mock himself if he could see it. But right now he didn't care if he looked stupid, or if people would laugh at him.

Because this was probably one of the happiest days in his life. A day he definitely never thought would be his reality and that he hadn't even dreamed of.

Even the fact that he was at his boring work didn't matter. He waited anxiously for each minute to pass, and his heart would skip a beat every time his phone vibrated inside his pocket with a new message from Heung Soo.

Most of them were just them babbling stupid stuff, asking what the other was doing; what song he was listening to - if he even was listening to one.  Heung Soo would complain that his computer was slow or that the coffee was too weak. Nam Soon would answer, complaining about a client or telling him that he was hungry and sleepy. And when he didn't have much time, he would just send him a random emoticon just to receive another one in response.

It didn't matter. Anything was okay. And, after twenty minutes of silence, his phone had just vibrated again.

“Working hard? ~_~“ Heung Soo sent him, the emoticon helping him figure out that Heung Soo was feeling a bit tired and bored.

“Not really. You?“ he answered, slightly biting his lips to control the huge smile that was forming on his mouth. Heung Soo's answer came right away, meaning that he was probably waiting for Nam Soon's response exactly like him.

“As always. Counting time...“

Nam Soon looked at the hour. Two o’clock. It was amazing how time took so long to pass when you desperately wished for it to go faster. “I'll be home in one hour ^o^ ” he answered, leaning against the wall, glad that the movement at the store was low at this time.

“Still got 4 to go... Just getting my coffee break“

Nam Soon checked the clock again. So, still more five hours to see him. But he wouldn't mention that he had just counted that. He would rather just focus on the coffee subject. He didn't become so cheesy after they got together, did he?

“I want some coffee ㅜㅜ” he limited himself to say. He just didn't want to stop talking to him.

“Want me to go get you some?“.

Nam Soon smiled. This sounded like a good proposition, and definitely not because of the coffee.

“yes please >3< ” Nam Soon couldn't control his smile as he wrote it, happy that the store was empty and he could continue talking about unimportant stuff with Heung Soo.

“... I wish. Too much work today. I'm hungry too, you should cook me something to bring.”

“Last time you said my bread felt like rock”

“I don't care... It's good if it's from you ♥.♥”

“omg, so cheesy! “ Nam Soon giggled, more happy than he probably should be about it. That’s why he suddenly felt like cooking again. He might just go after those cooking classes that he thought about doing after all.

“I'm kidding. So what are we doing tonight?“ Heung Soo quickly sent and Nam Soon couldn't help his heart from skipping a beat as he read those words. Anything. Anywhere. He didn't care of what they did, or where they went. He just wanted to go. Every night, if possible. Every night... Every day. Every hour.

“It’s a date? ★.★”

“Be ready when I get home. Gotta get to work!“ Heung Soo wrote, putting his phone back inside his pocket as he went back to his desk. If it were possible, he would just keep talking to Nam Soon until his shift was over... But of course he couldn't. So he turned his attention back to his computer. The good part of having so much work to do was that the time would go by faster. The bad part was that if he couldn't finish it on time, he would have to work later. But he’d already promised to go out today.

So that meant less talk during the rest of the day, and his mind focused on what he had to do. He barely even spoke to Moo Yul the rest of the day, and when he finally sent the last email and closed his documents, it was already dark outside. He definitely hadn’t seen the time going by and that, for sure, wasn't a complaint.

Before someone could get him to do anything else, he grabbed his phone, forgotten in his pocket, and his fingers quickly typed a message to Nam Soon.

“Finally leaving!” Heung Soo rushed to send it, grabbing his jacket after he closed his notebook on the table. He quickly got his suitcase, trying to rush to avoid being the last to leave and having to lose more time closing the office.

He gave a quickly good bye to Moo Yul, too excited to even face him properly, and hurried outside. He was glad that the elevator didn't take long and soon he was on the first floor. He was hoping the traffic wouldn't be too bad since he needed to get home as soon as possible. Yet, when he exited the building, all those worries just faded away.

Because outside the door, Nam Soon was waiting for him with a simple smile on his lips, but that he knew that meant much more than just what he could see.

He returned it, more discreetly than Nam Soon, but he hoped the other would see through it, just like he did.

“Trying hard not to fall

On the way home

You were trying to wear me down, down”

“Since when have you been here?” Heung Soo asked while they headed together to the parking lot. Nam Soon just shook his shoulders, that discreet smile slowly growing bigger from the excitement, even though he was trying so hard to control it.

“Just a while ago...” He mumbled, putting his cold and sweaty hands inside his pockets. “It's fast to get the subway. I'm used to it...”

“I was going home to pick you up, you should have waited,” Heung Soo said, biting his lips, however feeling suddenly warmer inside for being able to see him sooner than he expected.

“I don't care,” Nam Soon shook his shoulder again, but his wide smile suddenly faltered as his eyes fell on the coffee shop he used to work at.

Heung Soo couldn't help but notice what had taken away Nam Soon’s smile, and instinctively put his arms around the others shoulders before he could even think about it.

Nam Soon looked to the other, startled, feeling his heartbeat quicken, surprised by the sudden gesture, though that was what he needed to get his smile back. Heung Soo didn't need to say anything, because that was enough.

They headed to the car and Nam Soon didn't ask where they were going. Heung Soo also didn't say a thing about it. He probably had everything planned for today? Nam Soon guessed so. Since Heung Soo invited, Nam Soon would let him choose where they were going for now.

Heung Soo stopped the car in front of an expensive Japanese restaurant, but there was a large amount of people gathered in front of it. He drove a bit closer to where he could have a word with the head waiter that was standing outside.

“It’s closed?” Heung Soo questioned, and the guy didn’t even look up, seemingly busy with some papers that he was holding.

“The place was rented for today,” he simply answered without taking his eyes from the paper. Heung Soo sighed, heading back to the street.

“What do we do now?” He seemed a bit disappointed, but Nam Soon had some better ideas.

“I know a place,” he smiled with the corner of his lips. “Can I drive?”

Heung Soo looked at him, a bit hesitant, but ended up parking at the side of the street so that they could change places.

Nam Soon drove them for a few minutes to a place closer to his old apartment and perhaps a bit far from where Heung Soo was planning to take them. It was a small bar, with walls painted with colorful drawings over the old building.

“I've been here some times before we met again,” he explained, parking in front of the entrance and unfastening his seat belt. “They have the best crispy chicken you ever tasted,” he guaranteed, and Heung Soo didn't look much excited about it.

“Crispy chicken?” He laughed, discredited.

“C’mon, it's much more us than an expensive restaurant that I can't afford,” he gave his shoulder, leaving the car.

Heung Soo smiled slightly, following Nam Soon inside the bar, where they sat at a small table at the corner, close to a stairway that led underground.

There were some music posters on the gray painted walls, though the color was already fading, making it look like something close to light brown in some places. He could smell the oil from the kitchen, and Heung Soo really doubted something good could come out from that.

Nam Soon swiftly ordered the chicken and some bottles of soju that were already at their table before Heung Soo could complain about the place the other just brought them.

“Don't look at me like that. You'll see when you taste it,” Nam Soon guaranteed, serving the soju for both and taking the first shot. “Remember the first time we tasted this?” He said, staring at the empty cup.

“Yeah...” Heung Soo showed the first smile since they entered the bar. “You got the bottles from your dad and we went to drink at my soccer training field,” he laughed, taking his first shot as he remembered those days.

“Honestly, it tasted horrible the first time,” Nam Soon giggled, serving another one for them both.

“You think I didn't know? You drank it all but your face showed that you were about to puke.”

“Well...” Nam Soon laughed, suddenly being reminded of his first hangover. It was funny now, but he really thought he would die at the time.

“...you did,” Heung Soo completed, laughing loudly, and stared at the other after he finished the bottle. Nam Soon’s fingers were slightly touching his empty cup, and Heung Soo looked at them, starting to move his hands towards the other’s, but the waitress arrived with the food just in time.

Nam Soon ordered two new bottles of soju and got himself a napkin to hold the chicken.

“Taste it. You'll see, It's awesome... I forgot to bring you here before but I should have,” He said, taking the first bite, suddenly reminding himself of how good it tasted.

Heung Soo wasn't particularly certain he would really like it, but it was not like he was too picky with food anyway. So, he risked taking a bite. Since Nam Soon said it was good it couldn't be that bad.

He chewed it a bit, and agreed with his head, swallowing and drinking a shot of the soju right after to clean his throat.

“You're right this time, It's not bad,” he said, and Nam Soon laughed at him.

“Shut up, it's great,” he exclaimed, getting another chicken leg. “Don't complain, or I'll get it all to myself,” He joked, but Heung Soo was already smiling at him as he picked up his second one.

“Kissing up on fences

And up on walls

On the way home

I guess it's all working out, now”

It was late that night when they left the bar, laughing and talking louder than they usually did, because they drank a bit more than they had planned for the night. That chicken and soju went on together so well that they couldn't stop ordering more and lost track of the time.

“What to do? We can't drive like this,” Heung Soo laughed as they went to where they parked the car, stumbling on their feet. He lost his balance and held onto Nam Soon's shoulders, making him laugh

“Are you really this drunk?” Nam Soon smiled, helping him to stay up.

“No, just lost my balance a bit,” the other smiled, looking at Nam Soon's hand resting on the side of his body, and soon got a hold of it, holding it tightly without stopping on his way.

Nam Soon stared at him feeling his cheeks blush as he looked around to check if anyone had noticed them.

“We can't walk the streets like this either...” Nam Soon said, staring at his hand in Heung Soo’s, but the older didn't seem to care, and just put it inside his pockets, without releasing his hand, and neither seemed to be even a bit worried if someone would see them.

“So, I'll get some water, and we wait inside the car? I'm not that drunk, really,” Heung Soo said, stopping on his way since he planned to quickly return to the bar to order a bottle before leaving. “I can't drive like this but with some water we will be fine soon. You don't think you can drive now either, right?“

Nam Soon bit his lips, but agreed. ”Sure, it's better if we wait,” he said, following the other at his side, his hand inside Heung Soo's pockets, and he could feel the sweat starting to form on it and he was sure it was not because it was too hot today.

They quickly got inside the car, already with the water bottle. Heung Soo closed the door and drank half of it, staring at the other at his side. He smiled, feeling better now that he was sitting down. In fact, it didn't seem too bad to stay in the car, waiting until he felt better. Right now, he was not even worried that he still had to work on the next day. It was a fun night, and he knew he could do it again every night. With Nam Soon, it was completely different than how it had been with all the girlfriends he once had.

Every hour, every minute, it didn't matter where they went, or what they were doing... It would always make him smile like this. It always did.

“Leave this blue neighbourhood

Never knew loving could hurt this good

And it drives me wild”

“So... This wasn’t really like I planned...” Heung Soo said, turning on the heating inside the car and causing the windows to slowly start to fog since it was getting cold outside at this hour.

“Do we ever do anything as we planned?” Nam Soon laughed, staring at him and back at the window, thinking. “We wouldn't even be together if we did...” He whispered, biting his lips and staring at Heung Soo again, feeling his hands start to get a bit sweaty again. He said it, but he was not really sure if together was a good choice of words now. “I mean...” He started to try to explain, but was interrupted by Heung Soo, smiling at him, not seeming to have noticed Nam Soon's awkwardness.

“You're right. But that's the fun of it,” He had a huge smile on his face and even though Nam Soon knew that part of it was because of the alcohol... It was not only because of that, right?

So, he returned that smile, a bit embarrassed for having brought up this subject - it was not what he meant to do at first. They didn't had a clear conversation about what they would do from now on, but Nam Soon was not really sure this was the right time to talk about it. However, the question came first from Heung Soo before he had the time to think properly about it.

“So, what do we do now?” Heung Soo asked, his smile suddenly faltering, but still there. Yet, Nam Soon could see the apprehension behind it.

“About…?” Nam Soon whispered. Feeling his throat get suddenly dry and a cold shiver in his spine. Yes, he definitely wasn't ready to talk about this right now. It was fine as it was. He didn't wanna think about the future, or what they would do from now on.

“I mean... About us...” Heung Soo explained, suddenly biting his lips and staring at the wheels. Perhaps he was regretting the words he just said?

“Don't know...” Nam Soon mumbled, forcing a smile, trying to break the cold. “What are you thinking about?”

Heung Soo put his hands on the wheel, and then back at his seat, staring back at Nam Soon. And the younger could see his eyes getting a bit darker, and he was sure he knew that look... Very well. But his response to that certainly wasn't apprehension.

“Not sure...” He whispered, his eyes focused on Nam Soon's, and Nam Soon sensed him coming closer, bit by bit. “But right now...” The words left almost like a whisper, as his eyes fell to Nam Soon’s lips.

Those pouty lips, that Heung Soo couldn't take his eyes from. Those lips that had been in his dreams for as long as he remembered, but just recently he realised belonged to Nam Soon. And right now, they were so close that he almost forgot that this was not the first time he would feel them. “I really need to kiss you...”

Nam Soon hardly had time to process those words before Heung Soo's lips were already on his, moving desperately in this encounter, his warm breath brushing against his cheeks when he moved, the woody, fruity scent of his cologne reaching him as his sweaty hands held the material of Heung Soo’s shirt and Nam Soon could release the breath he had been holding for the last few seconds.

He didn't care now if someone could see them there. Now, with Heung Soo, he wasn't worried anymore. To feel his smooth lips like that, the heat coming from his body, and all the breathless sensations that this caused inside him... It made everything else disappear.

He felt Heung Soo’s hands touching at his waist, bringing him closer as his warm hands slowly went up under his shirt and brushed against his skin, making him lose his breath and his mind.

He thought Heung Soo would suddenly regret it, that it couldn't be real... That he would at least be careful outside their home. To have Heung Soo kissing him like that, placing his hands anywhere... It still seemed unreal to him. So, if this was a dream that he would soon wake up from... He would make sure to engrave everything in his memory first. Every sensation, the way his hair bristled at his touch, how his heart suddenly beat so fast and his body grew so hot from the inside, everything, every detail... He would make sure not to forget any of it.

“'Cause when you look like that

I've never ever wanted to be so bad

And it drives me wild”

Heung Soo slowly pulled away, his breaths coming harsh, and Nam Soon was sure by the way he looked at him, and how his hands closed tightly at his thighs that he wouldn't stop now if he had any choice.

“I think I can drive now...” Heung Soo mumbled, returning to his seat with harsh breaths, his heart rate still fast. The windows were luckily shaded, blocking everything from the outside. He the cold air for a bit, and put on his seat belt, ready to start the car.

Nam Soon kept quiet the rest of the way home, but without managing to control his anxiety. He felt hot, and he still couldn't believe that all of this was indeed happening.

As much as he was anxious, he still wished to arrive home as fast as possible. Would Heung Soo want to continue what they were doing? Or would they just go to sleep since they had to work?

But at the same time... Was he ready? Until where could they go? Until where would Heung Soo accept going? He was not really afraid. Anxious, maybe, but honestly... he really wanted to do it. Everything he could do, and everything Heung Soo wished to do. But then... would he wanna do it?

They were soon back at the apartment, and Nam Soon hung his coat on the chair in front of the small dining table. He felt a little chill on his spine and when he turned around, just like he felt, Heung Soo was looking intensely at him

With the same black eyes from before. The dark eyes that would make him die with anxiety an excitation.

“You're driving me wild, wild, wild

You're driving me wild”

Slowly, he edged closer, bit by bit, and Heung Soo was already so close that he could feel his breath brushing at his skin again, his hands reaching out to his, and suddenly Nam Soon realized that his back had already reached the counter when Heung Soo put his hands behind him, keeping him steady.

His eyes were looking intensely at Heung Soo's dark ones, and, in a blink, he reached out to Heung Soo's lips before the other could make the first move.

He couldn't hold back anymore. There was nothing more to be afraid of. Nothing to think twice about.

So, Heung Soo held him up, their bodies lying half way over the counter, dropping everything that was on it straight to the ground. However, their hearts were beating too fast, their breaths coming out too strong to notice that a picture frame of them had just fallen to the ground, together with all the other stuff over that counter, parting into two.

“Running on the music

And night highs

But when the light's out

It's me and you now, now”

[/CONTENTID3][CONTENTID4]