[CONTENTID1]Chapter 29[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "Maps" - Alex Goot (Cover)

[/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]

"I like to think that we had it all

We drew a map to a better place"

It was probably the tenth job announcement that Nam Soon read today and gave up sending his curriculum. He set his notebook over the coffee table and stood up to grab something to eat.

He knew he should find a job soon, but as it seemed, everything that happened affected him more than he thought. Just thinking about starting another job like that gave him a bad feeling in his gut and an apprehension that he never felt before.

It was probably the result of everything that had been happening in the past few days. Because bad things didn't come alone when it came to Nam Soon, they always came together in the worst possible moments. Now that he couldn't call Heung Soo, it was when he needed him the most.

But he would get passed this. He would find a way out - he always did. If he didn't find a job now, he might even sell his car and a few things. With the money from selling all those things, he could pay the rent for a few more months. He would be fine.

He would get over being fired... It was no big deal. However, not being able to see Heung Soo... Would he be able to get over it? Because this, yes, was much worse than any job he could possibly lose.

"But on that road I took a fall

Oh baby why did you run away?"

Everything was boring... His weekend was completely tedious and nothing he thought about seemed exciting enough. Heung Soo had the whole weekend ahead of him but all he felt like doing - or not doing - was stay in his bed doing nothing.

He could call Nam Soon and ask him to go out to watch that movie that finally premiered... But wouldn't it be too strange now? To just call Nam Soon like nothing had happened? So he knew he couldn't do it.

That’s why his only choice now was to stay home alone, watch random movies on the television... And think about how everything would be if he had chosen a different path for them. If he hadn't run away like he did... What would they be doing right now? Would Nam Soon be here with him? Would he be feeling better?

Would they be happy together?

"I hear your voice in my sleep at night

Hard to resist temptation"

Heung Soo noticed something was odd when he arrived at work on Monday morning and Moo Yul greeted him just like before everything happened. It was strange when he started greeting him since last week, but Heung Soo thought he might just be being polite.

However, apparently, something indeed had happened. He watched surprised as Moo Yul got close to his desk, seeming a little embarrassed.

"Can we talk?" He asked, and it took Heung Soo a few seconds to understand that it had actually happened.

"Sure," Heung Soo nodded, standing up from his desk. They still had fifteen minutes before their work hour started so he guessed they could go out for a few minutes to talk.

Heung Soo searched for Nam Soon inside the coffee shop as soon as they arrived. It was the first time he went there since their talk on Saturday. He hadn't talk to him since that brief interaction on that rainy day. So he kind of wished to see Nam Soon but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was still in the kitchen at the back, Heung Soo thought.

"So..." Moo Yul called out and Heung Soo realized that he had been looking to the back door of the shop since they had arrived. Moo Yul had ordered two cups of coffee for them and he hadn’t even noticed.

He stared at the other, trying to get his mind away from where Nam Soon could be for the time being.

"How are you doing?" He asked Heung Soo, probably searching for a way to start the conversation.

"I'm..." He was planning to say he was fine just by habit. But truthfully, he wasn't fine. He wasn't even near being fine. "I'm okay, I guess..." He mumbled. He didn't want Moo Yul to have the wrong impression - to think he was still sad about the break up, nor to think he was doing perfectly fine with it.

"I think I might have been too harsh on you..." He whispered, probably embarrassed to admit it. If Heung Soo would be honest, he didn't think he was harsh at all. But Moo Yul didn't know the whole truth. He didn't know how much he lied, and neither the reason why he dated Jin Ah in the first place. If he knew, then he might have a different behavior right now. Probably Heung Soo deserved much worse. For what he did to Jin Ah, for what he was doing to Nam Soon, and... For what he has been doing to himself. But these were things he would never say.

"It's okay..." Heung Soo answered truthfully, as he received the coffee from the waiter - that wasn't Nam Soon.

"In fact I should be thankful. If this hadn't happened, I'll probably only realize..." Moo Yul continued, biting his lips "...maybe I would only see what I lost at the day she got married to another? That because I wasn't brave enough, I almost lost the person I cared the most in the world to another man. I realized it then. I know it wasn't your intention but... Thanks."

Heung Soo listened to him in silence. Listening to the words that were never meant to hit but fit him like a glove.

He looked at the back door again, wondering why Nam Soon hadn't appeared yet.

"So... You two are going out?" Heung Soo asked, swallowing dry and trying to keep calm about it. Pretending he wasn't suffocating. That his heart wasn't feeling as dead as it was right now.

"We will go out this weekend... I don't know...." He swallowed dry but showed a shy smile on his lips. "I don't know if she feels the same way. But... Just by having the chance to try... I'm grateful."

Heung Soo forced a smile in response. He was happy for him. He was happy for her, and he truthfully wished things would go well between them.

Because then, not everything would be lost after this.

"I’m searching for a song tonight

I’m changing all of the stations"

This time, Heung Soon didn't hide when he left work. Instead, he looked outside the entrance of the coffee shop for Nam Soon inside it, but apparently Nam Soon had already left today.

He didn't stop to think much about it today. But when he arrived at the shop on the next day, he started to wonder if this time Nam Soon was the one hiding from him, because he was still nowhere to be seen even at lunch time.

He thought about sending him a text message, but gave up right away. Because he had no right. It was understandable if Nam Soon needed some time away from him... Right?

Still, something made him ask around just to make sure... To make sure it was really that, or if something else had happened that he didn't hear of.

Discretely he approached a waiter cleaning a table at the corner of the shop. Yet there was no better way to ask him about Nam Soon without going straight to the point.

"Nam Soon didn't come today?" Heung Soo asked in a whisper, and for some reason the man seemed annoyed with the question and went back to clean the table. However, Heung Soo was really not expecting his answer to be that.

"He doesn't work here anymore."

Heung Soo frowned without understanding at first. What did he mean? He was there until last week.

"... Since when?" Heung Soo finally gathered the words to ask. But the other didn't seem like he wanted to really talk about it. He just shrugged his shoulders, uninterested.

"Friday was his last day."

How was that? Nam Soon didn't say anything. On the other hand, they had barely been able to talk those past few days.

"He resigned?" He risked asking, but he probably wouldn't be getting any more answers about it.

"I don't know," the man said, bowing lightly at him before leaving to the balcony. Nam Soon wouldn't have... Because of him, he wouldn't have resigned again, would he?

"But I wonder where were you

When I was at my worst

Down on my knees"

"Something happened?" was the message Heung Soo had written to Nam Soon as soon as he went back to work after receiving those news at the coffee shop. But it was already nine at night and no answer had arrived.

He knew he should have already called him, but why was him so apprehensive? Typing his number has never been so hard before. Nam Soon was trying to run away from him? He finally gave up everything? He couldn't take those worries away from his head.

What if he had already left? What if his phone was turned off or he didn't pick up? Heung Soo was just afraid. He was afraid to lose him again, and afraid to talk to him again.

But he had to. If nothing of that were true, and he might be needing his help? He couldn't let this day pass without talking to him.

So, when he finally started the call and heard the voice on the other side, he couldn't avoid feeling partially relieved for it. At least Nam Soon did pick up his phone. At least he didn't ignore his call.

"Were you sleeping?" Heung Soo asked trying to buy some time before he couldn't run away from that question.

"...No," Nam Soon simply answered in a emotionless voice. He wished he could see his face right now to understand how he was truthfully feeling.

"You... Didn't you see my message?" He asked, but regretted it soon after Nam Soon went silent and he could only hear his breath at the other end of the call. He knew he had read it. So why even bother asking? It would only make things more awkward. "I went to the coffee shop today... they said..." Heung Soo whispered, breaking up the silence to finally say what he had been planning to say. "...they said you don't work there anymore."

The silence took place once again, and for a second Heung Soo got worried that Nam Soon wouldn't talk anymore. But he did, in a low tone while trying to sound uninterested when he spoke but he failed miserably at it.

"Yeah."

Heung Soo bit his lips, instinctively getting the phone closer to his ears, afraid Nam Soon would whisper something that he wouldn't hear.

"...You should have called me..." Heung Soo said, even though he understood him. Nam Soon had the right not to tell him. After everything what right did Heung Soo still had to ask for something like that?

"No big deal... I could barely pay my rent with the salary, I was tired of being there," he answered, this time without waiting any minute to think about his answer. It was like he already had formulated his proper excuse for that.

"...Are you working somewhere else?" If what he said was right, he should have a new job right? Or else, how could he just resign like that? He knew Nam Soon was not a responsible student but that was then. Now, he had to pay his bills. He lived alone and he should be responsible enough to know he couldn't stay without a job and still pay his rent.

"Not yet..." By the way he said it, it was clear that he wasn't being honest. For some reason, Nam Soon wasn't truthful to him. Did this really have something to do with Heung Soo?

"Is everything okay? You want to meet?" Heung Soo asked. And he really wanted to go. He needed to see him, to look into his eyes and be sure that this was not his fault - make sure that Nam Soon was okay.

"No, I'm fine," he said only those words, and Heung Soo didn't know what else to say. He didn't know what to do for his friend.

"Can I... Can I go see you tomorrow? Go out or something?" He risked, hoping Nam Soon would understand. Or at least that he wouldn't just make an excuse not to see him.

"Yeah, we’ll see," he just said. With no excuse, but also not agreeing with him - because Nam Soo clearly didn't want to see him.

And when he thought he would feel better talking to him, he just understood how wrong he had been. Because now he was even more worried. Nam Soon was keeping distance, he didn't know what to do, and he was really more concerned than before that Nam Soon might have resigned because of him.

But if he did it... Then what would Heung Soo do then?

"But something strange has come over me

And now I can’t get over you

No, I just can’t get over you"

When Heung Soo arrived at work on the next day he risked going inside the coffee shop again, hoping someone would tell him what happened. Just like last time he was hoping that someone would tell him if Nam Soon did resign or not. However, when he approached another waiter asking about Nam Soon again, this time, just like yesterday, he looked like he didn't want to talk about it. He just mumbled that he didn't know and went back inside the kitchen just like the other guy did yesterday.

And this was really bothering him somehow. The day before, the other waiter could have told him that Nam Soon resigned, so why were they acting this strangely now? He just couldn't stop thinking about it at work, so when he left at the end of his shift, he stopped at the corner of the street and got a pack of cigarettes that he had recently bought out of his pocket.

It's been awhile since he didn't smoke, but when he was feeling frustrated and anxious like this it was the only thing that could calm him down at least for a few minutes.

"I miss the taste of a sweeter life

I miss the conversation”

So he really didn't expect to hear the two waiters he had questioned before at the shop leaving, probably taking out the trash. He never really meant to listen in to what they were talking about, but the street was too silent at that hour so he couldn't help but do so.

Yet, he really didn't think that they would be talking about him. He didn't imagine they were keeping this secret on purpose.

"That guy asking around about Nam Soon. Do you think he is his boyfriend?" The shorter one said, putting the garbage away into the trashcan. Heung Soo instinctively hid at the corner of the building, hoping they wouldn't notice him there.

"I dont know, but its better to pretend to know nothing or else it might bring trouble to our shop," the other guy said, locking the front door of the coffee shop and turning around heading with the other toward the direction of where Heung Soo was hiding. He hid himself completely behind it and only continued to listen.

"Yes, who knows... he might be a lawyer or some crap like that," he heard one of them rumbling. He didn't know who the voice belonged to but also didn't have any interest in it.

He saw them passing straight by the street and waited until they were completely out of sight to throw his cigarette away and head to his own car.

He was not totally sure of what that meant, but he was most certain of it. Nam Soon didn't resign after all. And the reason he had probably been fired had nothing to do with Heung Soo. Nam Soo was probably feeling bad right now and needing a friendly shoulder, but still he hadn't told him. And Heung Soo knew why. If that was the reason he was fired, he would never tell Heung Soo.

However, Heung Soo should have been there for him. Right now, what was he doing instead of helping his friend?

"I was there for you

In your darkest times

I was there for you

In your darkest night"

This time Heung Soo didn't even call Nam Soon before arriving at his apartment. Nam Soon wasn't expecting him to come like that... He wasn't even prepared for him.

Heung Soo had an awkward smile on his face when Nam Soon opened the door, and raised his hands holding two bags from the convenience store.

"I bought beer," he said in a whisper as Nam Soon gave him some space so that he could enter. He didn't know what he was thinking to come like this. He hoped he wouldn't mention his work again... But he probably would. What would Nam Soon say, then? Heung Soo couldn't know the reason why he lost his job. After everything he didn't need to add that to his problems. It was bad enough as it was.

Heung Soo had already opened one of the beers and sat at the couch like he always used to do. Just like nothing had ever happened.

"Did you eat?" Nam Soon asked. Since Heung Soo was acting like that, Nam Soon should do as he said he would from the start - forget everything that happened and act like they used to be.

But suddenly he didn't answer him anymore, and stared quietly at the beer in his hands.

"Nam Soon..." He said with a low voice.

Nam Soon stared at the man at the couch anxiously, waiting for what he was about to say, without knowing what to do to avoiding him from saying it.

"You..." Heung Soo whispered and then met the other man's gaze before continuing. "...You had a problem at work?"

Nam Soon bit his lips nervously and then forced a fake smile before turning around so Heung Soo couldn't see his face.

"No... the salary was too low," he whispered, getting some rice from the cupboard and putting it in the rice cookers without looking back at the other.

However, Heung Soo already knew the truth... And he wouldn't pretend he didn't. He didn't want them to keep lying to one another anymore.

"Why are you lying to me?" Heung Soo said quietly, and Nam Soon froze in his place.

"And you said you had my back

I wonder where were you

When all the roads you took came back to me"

An awkward silence fell for the next few minutes as he turned the cooker on and bit his lips, closing his eyes and thinking about a good excuse to make.

"It's no big deal, okay?" He said, finally gathering the courage to turn around and face the other again. "Yes, I got fired, but it was a crappy job. I’ll just find another somewhere else."

Heung Soo looked at him a bit worried. He talked like it was nothing but Heung Soo knew that Nam Soon needed the job.

"You said you could barely pay the rent... What will you do?"

Nam Soon sighed, staring at the ground for a brief second and shrugged his shoulders, looking up to him again.

"I’m selling my car... And then I can live with that until I find a new job."

Heung Soo nodded, taking a sip of his beer. It was not like he hadn't thought about it. He did a lot before arriving at Nam Soon’s.

"...And..." He whispered, staring into Nam Soon's eyes, with his concern toward the other completely exposed in his expression, "...There is nothing you wish to do?"

Nam Soon turned his head questioning and frowning at the other. What did Heung Soo mean with that? Where was he trying to get to with that?

"You never wanted to work doing something you like?" He asked, making it clear, and Nam Soon couldn't control a small laugh at that. He reached him at the sofa and got a beer from the bags he brought.

"You know I never worried about these kind of things..." He said, and Heung Soo smiled. He knew it... But that was ten years ago. He should have thought about this at least sometime in his life, right? "I think it would be better to open my own place... like my own coffee shop," Nam Soon confessed. It was not something he put much thought on, but recently he would think about it sometimes, when he was too bored at work and specially when he barely had money to pay his bills at the end of every month, "But I don't have money for that."

Heung Soo was now staring at him without saying a word and Nam Soon couldn't help but feel his cheeks blushing. He put his beer at the central table, ready to stand up and get a few inches away from the other. But Heung Soo spoke before he could make a move away from there.

"Nam Soon..." His words sounded anxious, and he was staring with an intensity at him. Nam Soon slowly looked back at him with a questioning expression.

Heung Soo bit his lips and looked down for a few seconds before staring at Nam Soo again. Before letting out the words he's been wishing to ask since he came to the other's apartment earlier.

"Come live with me."

"So I’m following the map that leads to you

The map that leads to you

Ain't nothing I can do

The map that leads to

Following, following, following to you"

[/CONTENTID3][CONTENTID4]