Youngjae’s eyes snapped open, the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he quickly sat up gasping for a breath.  His eyes darted around the dark room, alert to all movement.  His nightmare addled mind played tricks on him, seeing shadows advancing from corners.  Squeezing his eyes shut he counted backwards from ten to zero waiting for his pulse to slow.  It was just a dream there was nothing there that could hurt him.  The therapist told him that it would not be uncommon to still have nightmares even though he could put things behind him.

‘Some things are prone to remain with us.  That’s just how the human mind works.  You should not let it burden you.  Continue to focus on the road ahead.’

“That’s easier said than done,” Youngjae mumbled climbing out of his sweat soaked bed.  Shuffling over to the light, he took up the task of removing the sweat saturated bedding.  Once finished Youngjae exited the room going down the hall to the shower.  Being as quiet as possible, Youngjae took a quick shower to wash away the feeling of the dream.

Even though she was no longer in this world, why did that woman still try to claim him?  In his dream he was out hanging out with Daehyun when she came out of nowhere covered in blood, holding a crying baby.  She screamed over and over at him to take their child to be with her again.  That they could be happy once again, to be a family as it should be.  Even after running away, telling her no, he would only have to look behind him to see the woman with the crying infant.

“Is it so hard to let me go?” Youngjae mumbled resting his head against the shower wall.  Exhaling softly, Youngjae cut off the shower faucet just as a knock on the bathroom door sounded.  A moment later Daehyun stuck his head inside, his dark brows furled into concern.

“Jae?” 

“Did I wake you?” Youngjae stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around his waist.  “Is everyone else up as well?”

“Just me, I was getting up to get a bottle of water when I saw your light on then I heard the shower.  What are you doing up?”  Daehyun’s eyes studied his friend who combed wet hair from his face.  “Nightmare?”

“Yea,” Youngjae nodded.

“It’s the third one this week.” Moving to the side, Daehyun allowed his friend to exit the bathroom as he fell into step with his friend who headed back to his room to get dress.

“It’s not so bad, at least it’s only the third one this week.  The week before last I had two a night for a consecutive three nights,” Youngjae commented.  “And last week was at least one nightmare every night.”

“What did the therapist say?”

“It’s bound to happen,” Youngjae shrugged dropping his towel to pull clothes from his dresser.

“Still haven’t figured out a way to stop them?”

“He said the mind isn’t as simple as using something to switch the memories or nightmares on and off,” Youngjae said looking over his shoulder at his friend with a short smile.  Daehyun’s impatient to see things conclude was endearing to say the least.  The Busan male was exceedingly pushy on the subject of Jae having a peace of mind, Himchan often dismissing the younger from accompanying Youngjae on his weekly visits to therapy.

“He should have found some way to help you more by now,” Daehyun commented folding his arms over his chest.  “You’ve already been going three weeks now.”

“Time heals all wounds,” Youngjae recited.  His first visit with the therapist matched Daehyun’s current mood.  Youngjae expected the man to snap his fingers to fix all the wrong inside of him.  He was reluctant to speak of the things Soonim had done to him.  The things he wanted desperately to forget.  There was no need to bring up the past, yet gradually he spoke of the violence against him, of his own desperation, his disgust, self loathing, and lost of faith in the surrounding world.

“Is that what your therapist told you?” Daehyun inquired.  “Maybe we should talk to the company about hiring you another therapist.  It doesn’t seem like he’s trying as hard as he should to help you.”

“Babo,” Youngjae smiled, pulling on a t-shirt.

“Yah, why are you insulting me?  I’m only concerned about you,” Daehyun complained with a short scowl.

“I know, that’s why I called you a babo,” Youngjae grinned walking up to Daehyun.  Anticipating what his friend’s move, Youngjae blocked Daehyun’s hands from putting him in a headlock.  The two playfully pushed at each other until finally Daehyun wrapped his arms around Youngjae pulling him into a hug only ruffling his wet hair up seconds later.  “Yah, I don’t want your grease in my hair.”

“You’re going to take my grease and more babo,” Daehyun grinned all but dragging Youngjae out of the room.  Softly protesting that he wanted to make his bed to go back to sleep, Daehyun ignored the complaints continuing to drag Youngjae to his bedroom.  Realizing that his friend was going to do what he wanted Youngjae went with the flow, revoking his complaints when he was tucked into Daehyun’s bed.

“What about my bed?”

“Let it dry for now,” Daehyun commented, flipping off the light switch before climbing into bed beside his friend.  “We can fix the linen on the bed in the morning.  Get some sleep for now.  If you have another nightmare, I’ll be right here to wake you up from it.”

“Keep this up and I’ll end up spoil,” Youngjae joked resting his head against the cool pillow.  Closing his eyes as the lull of sleep pulled at him, Youngjae didn’t flinch feeling the arm wrap around him protectively.  It was comforting knowing Daehyun watched over him regardless of the fact he told the other how much of a nuisance he was.  Youngjae was truly grateful to have Daehyun to lean on.  During the first session of therapy it was his friend who listened to his frustrations.  It was Daehyun who was on the forefront of support during his days of physical therapy.  Who scolded him more than anyone else when he pushed his limits more than he should have to keep at pace with the other members.  Who weathered his withdrawal moments better than anyone else.

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?” Leaning over to rest his chin on Youngjae’s shoulder, Daehyun gave him a soft smile discerned even in the dimness of the room.

“Now you make it sound as if I’m your girlfriend,” Youngjae rolled his eyes though a patch of warmth heated his cheeks.  He blamed the shower instead of the idiot who was grinning like a fool above him who had a penchant for saying embarrassing things.

“Maybe you are my girlfriend,” Daehyun proclaimed teasingly.  “I take you on dates all the time don’t I?”

“Babo it’s always to see a doctor or therapist,” Youngjae chuckled.

“Still considered dates,” Daehyun remarked.

“I’m going to sleep,” Youngjae shook his head, peeking up out of the corner of his eyes to study Daehyun.  “You should do the same instead of trying to talk my ear off.”

“As if you listen to me anymore.”

“Of course I don’t,” Youngjae responded.  “If I did, I would never get you to shut up.”

“Punk.”

“Night Dae.”  Allowing sleep to spirit him back into the realm of unconsciousness a dream much like the nightmare he woke up from begun. 

--

Youngjae laughed at yet another terrible joke he was forced to listen to from Daehyun.  His friend adamantly would not allow him to go anywhere by himself, afraid he would be ambushed by fangirls looking for pictures and autographs with him.  So when Youngjae announced he was going to see the clinic for rehab after practice it was natural for Daehyun to tag along with him.  Rounding a corner, Youngjae stopped in his tracks.  In front of him holding a writhing bundle of tattered rags in her arms was Soonim.

“Why won’t you take our child?  He’s such a beautiful little boy just like his father.”  The woman’s wild dead eyes locked with his.  opening to have maggots and blood pooled down her neck, dragging her rotting limbs towards him.  “Just one peek.  I know you’ll love him yeobo.”

“Leave me alone.” Taking a step back, Youngjae turned his head to Daehyun for help however the other male was nowhere to be found.  “Dae…”

“He can not help you anymore yeobo.  He’s not a part of our family,” Soonim said, chunks of her flesh falling away.  “Come join us.  Don’t you want to see our child?”

“No please,” Youngjae whimpered, his eyes fixated on the woman unwrapping the rags revealing the rotting corpse of a baby boy.  The grotesque infant twitched in her arms releasing a loud, piercing wail.

“It’s okay, daddy loves you.  Isn’t that right yeobo?” Soonim smiled, lifting her shirt to reveal a gaping hole in her chest.  “You’re hungry aren’t you?”

‘Look away.’ A voice in the back of Youngjae’s head commanded him not to watch.  To shut his eyes to realize it was only a dream that he could escape.  ‘Look away.  She’s not there.  She does not have to be there.’

“Are you listening to the voice inside your mind?” Soonim cocked her head to the side, her lifeless eyes oozing blood and puss.  “You’ll be told you’re crazy, then we will never be together.  Come to me let’s be together in hell Jae.  Won’t you like that?  Me, you, and our son?”

‘She’s not really there, look away damn it.’  The voice screamed out louder in his head.  ‘You have control of what goes on here.  Not her.  Banish her from your mind.  She’s not necessary here.’

“Don’t listen to the voice,” Soonim hissed lurching forward.  “You’re mine.”

“Look away.” Daehyun materialized in front of Youngjae, cupping his face between his hands.  “Don’t let your subconscious keep harboring these idiotic ideas babo.  You have control of this.  You’ve survived.”

“Leave him alone,” Soonim screeched.

“Come on, let’s go,” Daehyun grinned taking Youngjae’s hand leading him away.  The dream melted into dull shades of color, the two men gradually discovering a bright field.  A lone tree situated on top a hill overlooking the entire field.  “This looks like something out of an anime.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Youngjae agreed while they climbed to the top of the hill to sit under the tree.

“Completely,” Daehyun nodded.

“What should we do now?” Youngjae glanced over at his friend who stared out at the field quietly.

“Maybe wake up,” Daehyun suggested.

--

Opening his eyes, Youngjae listened to the slow deep intakes emitted from Daehyun.  The clock on the nightstand read just a little after four in the morning, only three hours since he last woke up.  Shifting his position, Youngjae settled in for those last few remaining hours of sleep before the day started.  Instinctively Daehyun pulled him closer in his sleep, snuggling against the other.

“Babo, I’m not your girlfriend,” Youngjae murmured, his cheeks burning, an action not possible to blame on a shower.  “But I guess you are good for something after all.”  Drifting back to sleep a while later, his dreams were not troubled by the past.  Daehyun saw to it, despite the many times in his dream Youngjae stated Daehyun liked to boggart his subconscious space to be a pest. 

A/N: I'm a little mean I know.  Though I did take a second route of what this chapter was originally supposed to have included.  I think the DaeJae moments are taking lead on any thing else that might occur as both an insight into how their friendship is evolving and how it is helping Jae cope with his life.    Next chapter takes another insightful look at the business side of Jae recovering.