Youngjae laid in bed for the longest time, listening to the sounds of the rest of B.A.P talk amongst themselves in the common room of the dorm.  The hushed murmurs let him know that they were being considerate of him, but also more than likely discussing the episode he went through at TS.  He could only imagine they were trying to figure out what to do about it, whether or not he was in fact capable of continuing with the idea of a comeback, or if he should be excused from it.  Shifting to lay on his side, Youngjae chewed nervously on this bottom lip.

Was he really ready to go in front of hundreds of fans to perform?  The idea of screaming girls vying for his attention while he sung knotted his stomach.  Closing his eyes when a wave of nausea churned to life, Youngjae took deep breaths banishing the thought from his mind.  It made sense that the thought of hundreds of women would unsettle him.  After everything that happened to him with Soonim, it was more than understandable he did not want to be near women.

Shifting uncomfortable, Youngjae contemplated letting the others know he was finally wake.  For the moment he held off due to the possibility they would pity him in regards to the episode he had at TS.  He knew it was not out of sympathy they would be kind to him, but he did not want to put them on spot to cheer him up.  On top of that, after the things he said to Himchan, Youngjae was definitely not okay facing the older male at the moment.  If he had already told the others the things he said, an air of awkwardness would settle around them.  Seeing disappointment in the eyes of his friends was the second reason he stayed rooted to the bed even though he wanted to go to the bathroom.

Reaching for the bottle of medication on the nightstand as his anxiety level rose he stopped remembering that Himchan wanted to oversee the amount of medication he took.  Fighting back a spike of irritation, Youngjae sat up with all intent to make Himchan give him back his bottles.  The older meant well, he knew that but Youngjae nevertheless felt unsettled not having his medication on hand when he felt he needed it.

“Jae, are you –” Daehyun stuck his head into the bedroom door, his brows furled with concern for his friend.  The expression lightened up seeing Youngjae was up.  “You’re awake, why didn’t you come out and let us know?”

“I just woke up,” Youngjae lied.  “I was waiting for the last remnants of sleep to pass.”

“Did you sleep well?” Wandering into the room closing the door, Daehyun went and sat down next to his friend, giving him a quick once over with his eyes.

“I did, thanks.”

“You gave everyone quite the scare back at TS,” Daehyun sighed.  “If we knew that it would trigger things, we would have been more careful.”

“It’s not your fault,” Youngjae assured finding distress over the situation flicker in Daehyun’s eyes.  “No one knew that it would have triggered my memories.  I suppose the bond we have with each other is stronger than any of us expected.”

“That’s good,” Daehyun nodded clasping his hands on his knees.

“I don’t think it is,” Youngjae shook his head.  Surprised Daehyun looked over at his friend who offered him a teasing smile.  “Remembering a pain in the like you is bad for my health.”

“Pabo.”

“Look who’s talking,” Youngjae said.  “I thought it was established that you are a big pabo than anyone else I know.”

“That would be you,” Daehyun retorted playfully.  The two friends shared a slight laugh, silence settling between them listening to the silence of the room, the murmurs of voice in the dorm carrying over them.  Tilting his head to the side, Daehyun studied his friend again.  It was almost like old times between them.  He missed being able to talk with Youngjae.  “You know.”

“I know?”

“I’ve missed this,” Daehyun expressed.  “Being able to sit here and talk with you.  With everything that has happened, it’s almost like we’re back on track.”
 

“You think so?” Youngjae blinked.  Leaning back on his hands, Youngjae wished that was true.  Wish that he could put the whole incident behind him.  Let the memories of Soonim, of what she did to him and the months leading up to him being rescued from her grasp disappear from his mind.  More than anything he wanted to have reverse amnesia. The only saving grace he had was that the child Soonim forced him to conceive with her had not survived.  A part of him ached that innocent life had not made it, but another darker part of him was overjoyed at the thought he would not have to face that reality.  He was grateful the agents made it so he would not have to face her anymore.

“Sitting here with you like this puts me at ease,” Daehyun smiled.  “I think to myself, ‘I have my friend back and it was all just a dream’.” 

“I wish it was just a dream,” Youngjae agreed.

“If you want, we can pretend it was just that.  Carry on looking forward.  There’s no need to look back anymore right?” Daehyun voiced.

“Right,” Youngjae nodded.

“We can say it never happened,” Daehyun went on.  “There’s nothing stopping us from it.”

“Thank you Dae,” Youngjae said, leaning over wrapping his arms around his friend who was more than anyone else worried about this hiccup in life.  He truly was grateful to have Daehyun beside him.  Feeling the older wrap his arms around him in return, Youngjae wondered if it was truly possible to pretend everything was just a dream.  In his heart he craved it above all else.

“No problem pabo.  Let’s go let the others know you’re wake.”  Pulling away from Youngjae, Daehyun stood from the bed bringing his friend up with him.  Tugging Youngjae along with him, the two exited the bedroom heading to where Himchan, Yongguk, Zelo, and Jongup were.  Four pairs of eyes the two, conversations dying down the moment they entered the room.  Zelo looked nervously, glancing over at Yongguk who wore an indistinctive expression on his face.  Glancing over at Himchan the older male gave him an encouraging smile motioning for Jae to have a seat with them.

“Hyung are you really feeling better?” Zelo piped up watching Youngjae take a seat in an empty chair.

“Much better thank you for asking Zelo,” Youngjae nodded.

“Channie said that you remember everything…” Zelo bit his lip trailing off at the comment.  Averting his eyes away from Youngjae, the maknae shifted his weight nervously.

“You don’t have anything to worry about.  I had time to calm down from what happened at TS,” Youngjae assured.

“That’s not what I meant,” Zelo protested softly.  “I meant that it’s both a good thing and bad that you have to remember everything.”

“It didn’t happen,” Daehyun said adamantly causing Zelo to give the older a confused stare.  “It didn’t happen.  It was a bad dream that we’re going to put behind us.”

“But-” Zelo shifted his gaze from Daehyun to Youngjae then to Yongguk and Himchan.  Jongup remained silent, listening to what was transpiring.  The two oldest members of B.A.P exchanged glances with one another silently questioning if this was the right attitude in going about the real underlined problem.  Meeting up with Yongguk on the way back to the dorm, Himchan gave the leader the condensed version of events that transpired after discovering Youngjae outside.

Himchan was thoroughly troubled over their younger charge’s state of mind.  It was not in Youngjae’s character to be so deeply unsettled by life events.  Of course the situation he was tangled in was anything but normal.  It would take time for Youngjae to be all right nevertheless a nagging itch crawled over Himchan’s skin.

“If it will make things easier for you, then I won’t tell you wrong,” Himchan announced.  “Though I want you to know that running away from the problem is not the way to go about things.”

“He’s not running away,” Daehyun affirmed.  “Would you rather he sit here and fret over it?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Himchan said evenly not wishing to upset Youngjae and begin an unavoidable fight with Daehyun.  He knew Daehyun only wished to protect Youngjae so he would not have to deal with the issue at hand, but Himchan was certain they were going about it the wrong way.

“We shouldn’t argue,” Jongup piped in rubbing his arms at the tension permeating the air.

“Uppie is right, there’s no point to fight amongst each other,” Yongguk spoke up.  “It’s counteractive, we should think of how Youngjae feels in all this.”

“Both Dae and Channie are worried about me, I understand the point both are making, so please stop arguing over something pointless,” Youngjae stated.  “The important thing is that it’s over and done with, I’m okay now.”

“Are you sure hyung?” Zelo studied Youngjae afraid that he was going to break into another fit at any moment.  Putting on a good-natured smile, Youngjae hoped he appeared to be his old self.  Praying it worked seeing Zelo relax, he focused his attention on Yongguk.  “Did you speak to our manager?”

“Everyone is asking if you will be ready for the comeback,” Yongguk announced.  “I am not going to push you where this is concerned.  If you feel you need more time, then I will not blame you.”

“I don’t want to hold any of you back.  I want to move forward with the comeback as planned.  With my memories back it makes it easier,” Youngjae declared.

“Don’t forget you will still need to visit the hospital,” Himchan reminded.  “You might have your memories back, but your body is not yet ready to be pushed.  Speaking of, we should probably head there soon.”

“For the evaluation of my medication.”

“Correct,” Himchan nodded.  “You start physical therapy next week don’t you?”

“Maybe they will start me out sooner,” Youngjae thought.  “I know you tell me not to push myself, but I honestly think I’m ready.”

“All right,” Himchan yielded.  “We’ll see what they say when we go.”

A/N: Shorter than what I expected to have done for this chapter, I think I'm going to immediately begin on the next chapter tomorrow.  There is so much setting up to happen and Youngjae nor Himchan has realized yet what Daehyun has done.  Let's see what next chapter brings me.