My inspiration with this chapter I just wanna share. Listen if you can :)

Angel’s Cry

 

Feelings flowed smoothly through the atmosphere around us. Feelings that contained happiness and contentment, giggles and laughs, taunts and jokes, the feeling was light, light as the breeze of the air and the flutter of grasses on our feet.

 

Picnic

 

What a great way to enjoy December break.

 

Baskets and lunch boxes out and placed neatly on the picnic mat, our bodies surrounding the food. Taeyon and Minho across us, Taeyon leaning on Minho's side while they took turns in feeding each other with yummy sandwiches. Jinki's head rested against my lap, his face staring straight up to mine while I feed him grapes. I would by pulling the grape up when he was about to eat it. He couldn't help but to pout and grab my wrist to reach for his almost eaten grape.

 

Taeyon laughed covering her lips with her fingers. Minho was staring at her fondly, adoring how graceful his girlfriend was. Their fingers tangled and when they face each other, the smile would quickly scatter on their lips.  I admired their relationship. It was so strong and fluffy.

 

I'm still hanging on. I would never let go of Jinki. Even though he lied, I shrugged it out completely and stayed strong. Forgetting it was the best idea and act like nothing happened, it was all I could do for now. Pretend nothing and hope for something, hope that he would fulfill his promise.

 

A promise of trust…

 

Call me martyr or whatever. It doesn't matter to me as long as Jinki is with me.

 

I love him to that extent.

 

"Eve." he waved his hand in front of me. I shook off, I must have spaced out

 

"Hm?" I said forcing a smile.

 

He grinned and curled his index finger gesturing me to come closer. I tilted my head towards him and as soon as our faces were close enough, he leant up and planted a surprise kiss on my lips. I yelped and moved back. I turned my eyes towards the couple across and they were giving me the look. I was so embarrassed.

 

But I like it, couldn’t help but to smile at Jinki’s weird and playful gestures.

 

“Yah!” I hit his head playfully and he retorted back a sweet chuckle, putting his hand over his head on my lap, his eyes disappearing from my view.

 

“Well played, dude, well played.” Minho blurted out, I glared at him but he just gave me a smug smile. Jinki turned to him and smiled as well, “It’s your turn.” He waggled his brow towards him. Minho snickered and glanced back at the innocent Taeyon. I muffled my laugh knowing what to come forth.

 

“Taeyonnie…” Minho muttered blinking cutely in front of Taeyon who seconds after seeing it already knew what he wants and blushed so hard. Taeyon pushed him back softly hiding away her smiling lips. She was so shy that Jinki and I couldn’t help giggling at them.

 

“Please?” Minho puppy eyed her. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Taeyon was out of focus and fast became red as a tomato. We couldn’t hide it no more and started laughing at the two of them. She was soooooooooo freaking cute.

 

“Ahh…uhmm…oh. Someone’s calling.” She suddenly said and started looking through her bag. We thought it was her excuse so we hooted but then when she took her phone out it was really ringing so we kept quiet. I eyed Minho and the guy was pouting, probably ruined his ego. Hahaha. They’ll have some time to themselves too.

 

“Hello? Oh, neh…yes we’re here. I’m glad you could come…okay. Where are you?” She turned around locating some area, we followed her gaze. “Ah…at the playground? Neh, I’ll meet you there in a minute. Bye.” She hung up and smiled. “Is it okay if my friend joins us?”

 

“Yeah sure.” I said nonchalantly, my focus was on Jinki who kept playing with my fingers, biting it softly with his lips.

 

Taeyon stood up and Minho followed. They were gone a few seconds later leaving us two to have a little time for ourselves.

 

“Eveony…” He said, his fingers reaching up to tap my nose. I flinched and looked down on his charming chubby face. He smiled at me showing his perfect teeth.

 

“You look pretty down here…” He smiled and showed off his perfect cheek. His fingers crept up to my cheeks and pinched it softly, his warm palm gently passing the feeling on my cheek. I giggled, rubbed my nose with his then kissed him steadily. It felt like time elapses when our lips met. It was a sincere kiss, our eyes close, our breathing compatible, everything felt like forever.

 

“Ehem.” Someone cleared his throat and we both moved back composing ourselves. Jinki sat up beside me and fixed his hair. I turned my head up to see Taeyon’s companion.

 

But upon seeing her face made my heart throb for a few seconds.

 

“This is Yoona, she’s my friend from states. She was the girl who…uhm…appeared last two weeks…” Taeyon introduced. I nodded and gave her a tight smile. I dunno if God was playing tricks on us but I couldn’t help asking why we need to be in one constant connecting relationship. Everything seems so small in my world.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hello, Eveony.” She smiled at me then turned her eyes to Jinki. I glanced back at him. He wasn’t looking and was instead pealing a bunch of oranges in the basket.

 

“Onew…hello.” She awkwardly greeted. Jinki looked up and grunted.

 

“Hey.”

 

“I think you guys know each other quite well.” Taeyon said awkwardly. She probably remembered the scene on Onew’s birthday but she was innocent about the past incidents that have been happening.

 

Yoona continued tutoring with us. After the ‘lying’ incident, we’ve been interacting awkwardly with each other. But I can’t believe she was still hanging out with us even if Onew was obviously pushing her away, pushing her away by all means necessary, though he still can’t defy his duties towards teaching her. His connection with her was all professional and not something I should worry about.

 

I hope.

 

“Yeah, we know each other, come have a sit with us.” I patted my side. But she smiled and walked straight for Jinki’s side which surprised all of us. “Ahh, thanks but I think this place seems nicer.”

 

I tried to void away the provoking bad temper and sighed heavily. I realized if I would put off a sudden bad attack at her, Taeyon might be disappointed. Yoona was her friend and I need to respect that.

 

But sitting beside Jinki was really something.

 

Jinki didn’t appear surprise or concern about Yoona sitting near him and continue his pealing, after he finished one, he shove it directly to me and smirked.

 

“Ahhn~” He said gesturing me to open up my mouth and eat the orange. I giggled and eat it cutely. He let out a satisfied laugh.

 

I caught a glimpse of Yoona’s bitter smile. But instead of ignoring her I tried to treat her nicely by offering her some food. She took it happily and started munching. Taeyon seemed please by our way of considering each other, in front of the sudden stiff Jinki. He was probably contemplating about this right now and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or the wrong one.

 

Our picnic goes on, talking about random stuffs. Minho would always make Taeyon blush while we laughed at them and eyed each other. Jinki never turned to Yoona’s direction but Yoona would always lean in and talk to him, to not make things awkward I was always the one who talks back to her. I can see she was really trying her best to get Jinki’s attention, but Jinki would just nod back at her and goes back to me. I felt the smug of pride crossed my ego. But then again, I can't help but to feel sorry for her.

 

“How about some Frisbee?!” Minho jumped to his feet tagging Taeyon along, Onew stood up after them and looked at me. "You coming?" he said lending me a hand. A grabbed it and stood as well.

 

I noticed Yoona didn't stand up and was just sitting pretty. "You're not gonna play?" I asked her with concern.

 

"I can't play, you guys should go ahead. I'll just look out here." her smile never left her face. I shrugged and pulled Jinki to the green field area. I don't want her to actually get involve either.

 

The temperature was just right, windy but not that cold yet. Even though it was December and the forthcoming snow was already taunting, we still pushed our gathering. It was the only time we could play and have fun. But now that Yoona's here, I couldn't exactly have fun.

 

Even if Jinki won't say it, it was obviously written through his action. He would play and laugh alright, but once the frisbee was in air he would glance back at our picnic area to check on Yoona. I can see it with my sharp eyes, all his awkward movements, all his momentarily checking, I did nothing but to observe him...until I got hit with the frisbee.

 

"Ow!" I screamed rubbing on to the portion off my temple where the frisbee landed with a loud thud.

 

"OH MY GOD!!! I'm so sorry!" Minho screamed like a girl causing me to forget I was hurt and started laughing. Jinki came running to me and placed his hands over mine. "What happened?"

 

"The frisbee wants to shake her brain because it stopped working, OW!"

 

"Yah!!!" I shrieked and slapped Minho's arm.

 

"Are you okay? Let me check it." Jinki was about to touch my face but I yanked his hand away and walked. He stuttered back and parted his lips to form words but I interjected him before he could even speak.

 

"I'm okay I'll just get some band aid or whatever." I made an attempt to smile but failed immediately so I just left them without turning back.

 

I was hurt deep within. Seeing him glance at someone from his past was enough to put this stinging pain in my chest. Even if how much he avoided it in front of me, still, his eyes still searched for her.

 

-----

 

"Hello." I greeted her and she looked up. I went back to our place where Yoona was left. I wanted to talk to her and clarify her aims.

 

"Oh hey, you're done playing?" she replied, I sat with her and started pretending to look for something in my bag. I eyed her from my peripheral vision and she was just staring at me. I felt that I need to ask her directly what was bothering me. I need to know her reason. I have to...

 

"You were Jinki's ex girlfriend, right?" I blurted out staring at her for any signs of discomfort. She didn't look surprise an instead smile and answered confidently, "Yes..."

 

I don't know if I should continue with my interrogation but I have the urge to know even if I'm going to regret hearing the truth afterwards.

 

"Do you still love him?" I asked firmly. I looked at her and gripped my skirt. Somehow her long staring pause made me feel the situation was getting intense.

 

"Yes. I still love him. Are you in love with him too?"

 

I was taken aback. It's not fair that she was taking this too light with a smiling angelic face while I'm already frigid and nervous like nobody else.

 

I still need to stay strong...

 

"Yes, I love him and he's mine..."

 

I thought if I told her something possessive it would make her back off and realized she was in the wrong territory. But when she smiled and answered...

 

I guess I was wrong.

 

"Then I'll have to steal him away from you..."

 

-----

 

"Oppa, I'm tired..." Taeyon mumbled and tugged on Minho's shirt. We stopped after that and came back to our picnic table.

 

I was bothered by the way Eveony left. It was cold yet full of hidden emotions. I sighed and walked behind Taeyon and Minho, putting my hands on my pockets while looking down.

 

I did something wrong did I? I think it was because I was looking at Yoona the whole time when we were gone to play. I am honestly worried about her.

 

“I came back because I wanted to see you. I wanted to know if you still have feelings for me. If you still love me because for me, my feelings for you will never change. Jinki please come back to me like what you did in the past. Please, I love you so much.”

 

She stood in front of the door, her hands gripped over my shirt, her tears falling off her cheek as she looked at me and begged for me to come back for her.

 

“No, I can’t. I won’t. It’s not the same anymore.” I turned my head away and let myself dwell on the burning ache from my heart. I need to stay firm in front of her because there is nothing to change anymore. And I won’t let myself get fooled by her tears.

 

“Don’t you love me? You love me right?” Her hands reached forward and cupped my cheeks trying her best to make me face her. I did and all I could see was the tears flowing out of her beautiful eyes.

 

I didn’t answer and instead stared at her. I couldn’t deny that I still love her and I was hurt. But Eveony was all I could think for and I don’t want to lose her over a selfish choice.

 

I also wanted to move on.

 

And Eve was helping me so much. I don’t want to waste her effort.

 

“I-I…I was sick. I was diagnosed with heart failure. That’s why I chose to leave. It was because I need to be treated. I’m sorry!”

 

I stopped breathing after what she told me. She was sick and I know nothing. I don’t have any idea. I was clueless! Freaking clueless!

 

 I felt rage in all parts of my body. I pulled from her grip and growled. She was hiding something from me all this time!

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” I punched the door behind her and screamed from the top of my lungs. It was insane. She cried and pleaded, she kept on hugging me but I was pushing her away. Why is she doing this to me?

 

“It was because I don’t want you to get hurt!”

 

“I am ing hurt! What else do you want me to feel?”

 

“That’s why I came back! I want to end this! Jinki I came back because of you!” She was screaming, her hand clutching over her shirt. I breathe air heavily and tried to refocus. Nothing good will come out if we argue.

 

“It was already the end, Yoona. You were wrong about your choices, if you told me about this I would have consider. But you didn’t and instead left me with a blink. You don’t know how much I suffered because of that…and I don’t want to experience the same anymore.” I walked passed her to end this mistaken conversation. I was wrong to let her talk to me.

 

“Is it because of her?”

 

I stopped and looked sideways.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Jinki, I know you still love me. I can see it. And I’m not giving up just because you find someone girl that could fill in the lost you have for me. You love me and I knew it. So I’ll make you choose. I won’t be anywhere else until you prove that you love her more than me. I’ll be back for you.”

 

I turned my head away and left her standing behind my back.

 

“Suit yourself.”

 

I heaved a sigh as I remembered.

 

Why was everything so complicated? Eveony was probably hurt to see all this, all this selfishness of mine.

 

But I felt that I knew it all along. It was Eveony. No more, no less…only a matter of time before I prove it enough to Yoona. And I hope it won’t affect her heart.

 

And Eveony…

 

Please don’t let go…

 

-----

 

I was surprised to see them staring at each other. The air around them was suffocating, like there was a dark secret revealed. I sat beside Eveony and she beamed at me like nothing happened. She placed her hand on my thigh and leaned forward.

 

It wasn’t expected but the way she clung her arms on me was pleasing, her eyes still on Yoona. Is this how girls battle for something?

 

The afternoon passed the same but the way the two of them act was totally different, like both of them were battling over my attention. I don’t have enough time to do something when they both offered their faces right at me, staring me down, acting playful and cute. I was in the middle of war.

 

“Onew, try this it’s delicious.” Yoona insisted.

 

“Ani, this one is better here, try this.” Eveony countered.

 

“I…ahh..uh.” I stuttered, both of them shoving food in front of me. I was getting annoyed by it but I can’t really do anything since I’m stuck in the middle. I looked at Minho and he was laughing quietly at me while he played with Taeyon’s hair. I mouthed him the word ‘help’ when Eve and Yoona started quarreling.

 

But the bastard paid no attention and mouthed back. ‘Goodluck.’

 

I could only scratch my head that time. But luckily Taeyon sort of needs help in something and tagged Minho and Eveony along. Eveony pouted because she doesn’t want to go but Taeyon was forcing her so she had no choice. I was left with Yoona sitting beside me.

 

It was quiet for the mean time, exchanging glances and looking at different directions. The wind passed us by swaying our hair in motion. She noisily sighed tucked her hair over her ear. I watched her closely determining why she was like that.

 

“Eveony is one weird girl.” She laughed putting her hand on her lips. I bent down a little to see her face. “You think so?”

 

“Yeah, I can see why you chose her.” She turned her head to face me, her face light. I moved back, my body shuddered. I don’t understand why on earth she opened it up. She leant in a little, our face inches away. I froze staring straight in her eyes.

 

Yoona smiled and looked down with a whispered chuckle. “I give up, Jinki.” She looked up again, her eyes at peace yet teary. The faded scent of the grass calmed my senses. I closed my eyes and felt a mixture of stab and relief on my heart. Unexpected how everything turned out, I felt happy. But why do I feel so lost…

 

“I thought it’s best for me to let you go. Even if it would tear me up to pieces, I don’t want you to be miserable again…it was my fault anyway. So now I want you to be happy. Eveony can make you happy, I’m sure she would.” She spoke those words so soft that it melted me.

 

“I love you and I would do everything to make you happy again, even setting you free.” She cupped my cheeks, her tears starts to fall in her eyes. I couldn’t move, my body was locked from where it was. She sighed and smiled again then stood up suddenly.

 

“I better go. I’ll just…” she stopped. I looked up and saw her agonizing face, her hand crumpled on her chest. She suddenly fell but I quickly took hold of her and cradled her in my arms. She was on pain and her face suddenly grew pale.

 

“Yoona…Yoona!” I hissed through my teeth. She was not responding her sprawled form was unbearable.

 

Don’t do this to me.

 

-----

 

Everyone was shocked. Seconds ago I was talking to Taeyon, but when Minho told her that something happened, she jumped right on her feet and started running back. I was confused but I followed them, until I saw Jinki cradling Yoona’s body on his.

 

“Yoona! Yoona! Oh my god!” Taeyon kept on screaming. She kneeled beside Jinki and started tapping on Yoona’s cheek. She was unconscious. I stood still on my spot watching everything in fast motion.

 

“I told her not to go back. Oh my god..Yoona.” Taeyon’s tears were gushing out of her eyes. It was fortunate that the park was near a hospital and the emergency personnel came as quickly as possible. Yoona was carefully taken in the emergency van. Taeyon entered as well, her arms crossed.

 

I don’t know what to do when Jinki walked up and slowly entered the van, but before he could even stepped in I held his arm to a stop. He faced me and I saw how much he wants me to let go of him…that he wants to be on Yoona’s side.

 

I wanted to pull him away. It hurts to see him leave.

 

“Jinki…” I mumbled my eyes started to water.

 

 “Please don’t go…”

 

There was a moment of silence. The siren was softly ringing in the background, the world suddenly stopped between the two of us. It was the time to choose. It was his time to choose. In his eyes was the reflection of my face streaming with tears.

 

 

But he still let go of my hand…

 

“I’m sorry. I have to…”

 

He looked down, turned his head away and climbed the van. I felt my heart slowly stopped and I couldn’t breathe as they closed the door, his face slowly disappeared from it.

 

 I was left standing there.

 

Shedding tears…

 

And everything started falling into pieces.

 

Because it was still Yoona…

 

In his eyes…

 

 

 

A/N: Both of them are confused and hurt.

 

*sigh* Sad chapter…

 

I’m so sorry for the delay. This was a hard chapter for me, can’t help but to convey my feelings in it and school officially started.

 

Thank you for reading! Please stayed tune for the next chapter hopefully everything will be okay for Jinki and Eve!