Before you guys read this,Let me tell you that this chapter has to do alot with cutting and vomitting. So please read at your own risks:) Enjoy!

-Arina<3

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Previously,

"Let's go to sleep okay?"You told your childrens.They nodded.You put them to sleep and decided to book a flight back to US.Just when you wanted to send your booking.The door busted open.

"DON'T!"Tao shouted.

You were fragile at that moment...

Tao went straight to you and hugged you.Chen sat beside you while trying to calm you down.Chen looked at your computer and saw that you were booking airline ticket but he wasn't sure where as the page was in english.Just when you wanted to get water for Chen and Tao,Chen stopped you.

"Yah,Where are you flying to?Please don't go anywhere.Please,"Chen asked you.You told him you wanted to book for a vacation.

"Aniya.I just wanted to go somewhere for a vacation with oppa , you and my children.No worries Chen.I'm not going anywhere,"You lied.You were planning to book a ticket back to the US.You already a few ways of running away without getting caught.You will not tell anyone even Sora or Nara or Seoyeon.

"Let's forget what happened today okay?"Tao asked.

"I will try to,"You simply answered.The 3 of you planned to have dinner over at your house tomorrow.It was getting late.Tao decided to stay over at Mdm Kim's house.You waved them goodbye and then immediately cried.You badly wanted to die.You ran to the toilet and looked for a box of blades.You remember bring blades everywhere last time.You found it in the top cupboard in the toilet.You locked your toilet door and filled your bath tub with warm water and then you took off your clothes and dipped yourself in the tub.You took the sharpest blade and prepared yourself.You took the blade and dragged it across your skin.Blood dripped out.

*Hana:Just 4 more cuts then that's it.*

You dragged the blade again.And again.And again.You kept telling yourself one last cut but you continued until the 13th cut.Clear water turned into a shade of crimson red.You felt tired,weak and dizzy.So,you decided to put on your clothes and went to take the first aid kid to cover your cuts using bandages.You went into your room and looked into the mirror.Suddenly,memories of you eavesdropping came back.

*Hana:I'm not pretty enough.I'm fat and ugly.Pretty girls are skinny.I must be like them.*

You ran to the toilet and tried to vomit anything out.But nothing came out.

*Hana:It's okay.Tomorrow onwards whatever i eat shall go back out.I have to be pretty.*

[During Dinner]

"Babe,hyung is reaching soon.Get ready okay?"You nodded and went to change in your room.You wore a simple pullover hoddie with jeans.

You looked at the mirror and just sighed.

*Hana:I vomited 4 times today and i'm still in this shape.Must be skinnier.*

Chen reached and you,Tao,Chen and your children had dinner together.After you finished your share,you excused yourself to the toilet.

"Appa,where is mummy?"Yura asked Tao.

"I don't know.It usually takes her 3-5 mintues to use the toilet.What's taking her so long?It has been 10 mintues! Let's go and check on her,"Tao said to Chen and your children with a worried voice.They went to the toilet.Henry and Yura immediately cried when they saw you vomitting everything out.Tao was shocked.He tried to stop you.While trying to stop you,he accidentally pulled your bandage.He saw the cuts.He calmed you down.You suddenly saw blurred visions and then passed out.

"Aiyo,this pabo,"Chen said sighing.Chen helped Tao carry you out of the toilet and to the bed.Tao was shocked and suprised that it made him didn't move.

"She wanted to be pretty and skinny.Why would she do that?She is pretty enough,"Tao mumbled to your childrens.Tao soon started crying.The children tried calming him down.Chen went to take the first aid kit and started to treat your cuts.Tao and the kids went around the house to find all sharp stuff and confiscate them.

"Hais.Hana,why did you do this?"Chen whispered to you.He shook his head and treated the wounds properly.

[After a few hours]

You woke up.You looked at your clock on the nightstand.It showed 11:30 pm.You panicked and quickly went to the living room.You thought you missed the dinner.When you reach the living room,You saw Tao drinking some kimchi stew while the kids and Chen were playing board games.

"Oh hi Hana!Your finally awake!"Tao immediately hugged you tightly.

"Okay?What happened?I think i forgot?"

"You cut and vomitted everything and then fainted after we found you,"Chen said with his amous known troll voice.You mumbled a 'omg'.Tao decided to have a private talk with you at the balcony.

"What did you want to ask me?"

"Why did you do all that?Do you know your perfect the way you are?Don't listen to my mom okay?Don't do this anymore.I love you,"You nodded and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you oppa,I love you."

"Anything for my baby."