“So, do you love him?” Minho asked Taemin.

The two of them are in Minho’s house, his room to be exact, waiting for Kai to fetch the younger. They just finished doing Minho’s extra project for Math, and had some tutor lessons too. Minho never knew he’ll be this thankful having extra school works. It’s a blessing in disguise. If every low grade means few hours to spend with his Taemin, he’ll be more than happy to receive a red F mark in the future.

“So, how’s everything going in the team?” Taemin asked, innocently changing the subject.

But Minho’s not that easy. He won’t waste time in trying to win back the boy. “Tae, I’m asking you if you love him.”

Taemin stared at him, as if hating him for asking what’s obvious. “We just started going out, the word love is too much to use.”                                                                   

“So you’re saying, you were not in love with me on our first weeks of dating?” He knew, of course he knew. Everything feels like yesterday. How Taemin confessed his feelings for him, how he asked him if he wants to be together and go out, how Taemin literally never left his side, how he cheered him up when he’s down, how he cried because of happiness of being together, how comfortable they both were, and the happiness that never left both of their hearts especially in their first weeks and months together. If it was not love, he doesn’t know what it was.

Taemin stared at him blankly. A hint of blush creeping up the younger’s cheeks. For a second, Minho thought that the younger was just embarrassed with the thought of the memories of them being in love but he realized he was wrong when tears were found at the corner of Taemin’s eyes. As if trying hard to hold back his tears, the younger didn’t utter a word for seconds. Afraid he won’t be able to hold back any sign of pain. But he failed. Tears started to flow much to his dismay. Tears started to stain his now pink cheeks.

“Tae, look I didn’t mean—” Panic. If there would be a word to perfectly describe Minho right now, it would be it. He didn’t mean to make Taemin cry. For ’s sake, they both suffered enough, more than enough. They both cried enough, they were hurt enough in the moving on process. He’s been trying to win Taemin’s heart back but everything he does and say makes everything even worse. What if there would be no second chances? Will he really regret it for the rest of his life? For letting his one great love go?

“Was everything not enough?” Taemin whispered before sobbing like a child.

And Minho hated himself even more. He hates himself for making Taemin cry again. He hates how he can’t do anything to ease Taemin’s pain. He hates how he can do nothing but watch his life cry right in front of him.

Taemin was mad. The fact that Minho was doubting his love for him before made him mad. He’s also mad at himself for crying like a child. Why the hell can’t he control his tears and own emotions? He hated looking so weak in front of Minho. He hardly wiped his tears off. A hint of anger now found in his eyes. It didn’t over power the pain though, but still, Minho knows he made him mad big time.

“You didn’t just doubt my love for you, did you?” The younger mocked.

Minho was supposed to explain everything, arranging his thoughts so he won’t up this time. But a car’s horn was heard from outside and they both realized it was Kai much to Minho’s dismay.

Taemin gathered his things and both of them trailed their way out of the room, downstairs but not without Minho indirecting Kai with “Gentlemen knock on the door, not blow their car’s horns from the street.” Taemin gave him a glare while walking down the stairws making the younger almost stumble. Thanks to Minho’s quick reflex in grabing his arm. “Thanks.” The younger bluntly said as he turns his face away from Minho.

Before Taemin even get to exit Minho’s house, a knock was heard. Minho subtly groans, irritated. Why the heck is Kai being the good guy here?

Taemin grabbed the door’s knob but not being able to open it before Minho could grab his arm and pull him off him close. “Minho, what are you doing?” The younger mumbled on Minho’s chest. He felt so weak on Minho’s arms. His mind was saying he should not let Minho hug him this close but his heart won’t let him do anything. “Give me few seconds, just few seconds please.” Minho calmly whispers in his ears.

Taemin tried to escape from Minho’s arms but Minho just hugged him even tighter. “I told you to stay still.” He felt Minho’s embrace so warm, his arms wrapped around him tightly.

To Minho, hugging Taemin like this was a dream come true and a nightmare at the same time. He wished to have him in his arms like this, yes. But the reality of having Taemin’s new partner just outside the door hurts him. He’s hugging someone who he can’t call his own anymore.

Seeing Taemin cry agaain right in front of him, he realized he should stop all this drama. He felt so guilty for making Taemin experience and remember the pain again. How selfish could he get, he thought. Just because he wants the boy back, he forgot to think that bringing back the memories could hurt Taemin again. That his mere existence in Taemin’s life makes the boy hurt again.

Before he even pulled Taemin close to him, he promised himself this would be the last time. The last time. This would be the last time he’ll be selfish and greedy. He’s already hurting Taemin even more, he needs to stop. He told his mind.

Maybe Kai could love him better than you did. Maybe Kai could give him happiness. Maybe Kai could do the same things as Taemin did to him.

“You realize you’re now hugging someone taken, right?” Taemin asked as if he’s not liking their closeness. But he ironically stood still, not even trying to remove Minho’s arms around him. He lets Minho hug him, for few seconds more. This time, it was Taemin who let him be.

“Always be happy.”

Those were the last words that escaped Minho’s mouth. Few more seconds with his arms wrapped around the younger, he closed his eyes as if painting this moment in his mind to last forever.

He let go of his embrace, quickly wiped his face before faking a smile. “Thanks for the help.” He told the younger. He opened the door to be greeted by Kai.

Taemin left his house together with Kai, leaving Minho behind the doors with a painful smile on his face.

The car drive to Taemin’s home was rather silent. Kai wanted to ask what happened, if everything went fine. But the look on Taemin’s face is telling him not to.

Taemin’s mind was wandering, his hand on his right shoulder, grabbing his shirt lightly. It was wet, stained with Minho’s tears. Minho’s last words won’t leave his mind, it keeps on replaying in his head. Always be happy.

They arrived at his place like that, with Taemin guiding Kai for directions. “Thanks.” He said before hopping of Kai’s car, the latter giving him a smile.

He flopped himself on his bed that night. School works stressing him, the thought of Minho’s words still ringing in his head. The thought of Minho’s arms around him, being embraced warmly. He missed him. He heard his cell phone beep making him escape from his daydream.

'My Kai' He can’t help but smile. The cool, confident friend he has can be cute sometimes.

From: My Kai

Still up?

To: My Kai

Yes. What’s up?

From: My Kai

Let’s go out.

Taemin stared at his phone blankly for few seconds, before hearing his phone’s message alert again.

From: My Kai

For real.

Not even giving him enough time to think, his phone was ringing with a call from his Kai. What should I do? Yes? No? Must I give it a try? Is it fine? Damn it, I don’t know! He answered his phone with trembling hands, listening to the other line before uttering a word.

“Let’s go to school together tomorrow, I’ll be there at six.” Kai said like it’s a matter of fact.

“I haven’t even—” Taemin tried to justify his argue. Confusion, nervousness and embarrassment mixed throughout his body.

“I’m not asking you though.” He heard a laugh, Kai decisiveness radiating even over the phone. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

And Taemin just couldn’t say no. Honestly, he’s considering it as a good idea. Maybe finding new love won’t be so hard anymore. Maybe giving it a try won’t hurt.

“Ok. Good night.” He said before hanging up without even letting the other line answer. He could feel his cheeks blushing, his heart beating fast at inhumane speed. After giving all his love for Minho months ago, this is the first time he’ll be opening up his heart for a new love.

Maybe this is it. Maybe still not.

Maybe I could love again. Maybe still not.

Maybe he’s the one for me. Maybe still not.

A/N Finally! It feels so angst-y in every chapter, I'm planning to tone down the angst in the few chapters. I'm honestly torn between 2min and the bff couple, lol~