It was almost 4am and Taemin can’t put himself to sleep. How could he? After tonight’s revelation? Too many thoughts in his mind, too many questions he wanted answers but the thing is, he can’t ask. His pride won’t let him ask. He doesn’t want to look as if he’s curious, or still hoping. He doesn’t want Minho to think that a part of him is full of regrets and questions. This is the path he chose months ago and he wanted this. It’s too late now, that’s life. You don’t always get what you want, you make decisions, it maybe wrong sometimes but you must learn to own every call you made. He tried to convince himself that if this is a mistake, he needs to move on and just learn from it.

Taemin got up from bed because he know sleeping right now is impossible. He tried but he cant; for more than 3 hours now. He went to the pantry to warm up some milk they bought on the way earlier. The view in the terrace is perfect, might as well wait for the sun to rise. He thought.

He was surprised when he saw Irene sitting on a couch outside, obviously feeling a bit cold when she pulled her cardigan tighter, her nose a bit red. Taemin was suppose to go back inside when Irene saw her. “Taemin oppa?”

He can’t back out now. “You’re up?” He queried as he slowly walks outside, taking the seat beside her. Reaching out the warm milk in his hand, to which the lady declines. “I’m afraid I’ll throw up if I consume anything.” She joked.

“Headache?”

“A crazy one. But it’s all worth it.” She sheepishly replied, a shy smile creeping up her now even more red face.

And Taemin doesn’t know how to reply. He just didn’t imagine ever talking to the new girl in Minho’s life. Not as soon as right now, and not when alcohol is still flowing through his veins. Without him realizing it, he was quietly staring at her. She’s such a pretty face, really. Maybe that’s what caught Minho’s attention at first, she talks so softly like it’s serene, but she also exudes confidence with those shy eyes of hers. She’s a paradox any man would love to solve, a girl Minho would love to figure out. And Taemin can’t explain the heavy feeling in his heart, or so he denies he knows.

It didn’t take long for Irene to realize Taemin was intently looking at her as if boring his eyes through her skin. “Taemin ssi?” She asked, waking Taemin up from his mini trance.

“Oh, sorry.”

Irene smiled weakly, and Taemin hates seeing her smile because he doesn’t want to admit he’s also succumbing to her charms. “What did you just said a while ago?” He tried to go back to their conversation.

“That the bottles of alcohol are all worth it. I don’t think I can do the dare without a confident boost from the booze.” She said while facing the horizon, the sun would show up few minutes from now and the sky’s color is just lovely.

“You liked it that much?” Taemin uttered as if he’s disgusted. Irritation obviously showing in his voice. I thought she took it simply as a dare, I can’t believe she liked it that much. How can she do this to Minho?

Irene was shocked; and clueless. “Are you mad?” She asked. “Oh my god! Don’t tell me… you?” She added quickly, one of her hands almost covering , her voice a pitch higher as if she just discovered a very important secret.

“What?” Taemin spat, sounding defensive.

“You like Kai oppa?”

“What? No! Do you?”

“Yes.” Taemin was surprised she answered that quickly. “Alrig--- what? You do?” He can’t help but ask again upon realizing what she just said. She likes Kai while being with Minho? Fox.

“Yes. Is that a problem?” Irene was more confused now, she just doesn’t get Taemin’s reactions and responses. It doesn’t add up.

“What about Minho?”

“What do you mean about Minho oppa?”

“Aren’t you two?”

“What?”

“Dating?” Irene was speechless. Where does that came from? It took Irene a few seconds to process the word. Few seconds which Taemin feels like a lifetime.

“We’re not.” Taemin let out a sigh of relief when he heard those words. Only to feel tensed all over again when he realized that it clearly wasn’t Irene’s voice, it’s a deep one. A deep voice he misses so much.

Irene looked behind and it was Minho. “Hi, oppa!” She cheerfully greeted him while she could feel Taemin freezing up beside her. Why did he brought up Minho oppa suddenly when I admitted I like Kai oppa, and now what the hell? He’s so tensed. Put them together, so that’s why.

“Make us some coffee?” Minho asked, to which Irene happily complies. Of course, she understands.

---

“You have a bad habit of not explaining yourself, Minho.” Taemin said straight up the moment Irene left the two of them. Still looking blankly straight.

Minho occupied the seat Irene just vacated. “You never asked.” He answered softly, mimicking Taemin, looking straight to the horizon.

“How would I know?”

“You can always ask.”

“You should’ve told me!” Taemin was the first one to look at Minho. His eyes showing all sort of emotions; pain, regret and relief. He was relieved Irene and Minho weren’t a thing, confused as to why they’re always together but not a bit of doubt was there. When Minho said they’re not dating, he knows, he just knows they weren’t. Even if Minho’s parents knew Irene, even if Minho drives her to school, even if she calls him oppa all the time, Taemin couldn’t doubt Minho’s words.

“Now ask me what you want to know.”

“There’s no need.” Those three words made Minho frustrated. He just can’t figure out this little mystery in front of him. He doesn’t know what to do anymore, only for this stubborn to take him back. “I guess it doesn’t even spark your interest?” He sarcastically asked.

“Because you said so.” This time it was Minho intently looking at Taemin, trying to decipher what those words mean.

“Because you said you weren’t dating, and I believe you. It contradicts with my thoughts these past weeks, I’ll admit that. But your words just calmed all those questions in my head, I can’t even explain why.” The younger looked Minho in the eyes, and it felt surreal. He can’t believe he’s staring at his world again. “All I know is just I felt relieved.” His voice almost cracking, but his eyes shows no hint of pain this time.

“We’re cousins, Tae. I just want to clear that up.”

“It almost made me crazy thinking you finally got someone to replace me in your life, you know that?”

Minho was baffled. As if his own ears are playing tricks on him, but he realized Taemin is making a huge leap for their relationship. The stubborn vixen is finally opening up to him and that makes him hopeful. He knows this conversation is not easy for the younger, and he can’t this up. “I was actually a bit happy, whenever I see you jealous.”

“What? You did that on purpose? Wow you’re heartless!” He punched Minho off his arm before he was suppose to walk away. Only to be stopped by Minho’s firm hands pulling him back in his seat.

“It’s not on purpose! I don’t even know where you got the idea that I’m dating Irene!”

There was a pause. Taemin can’t help but think when it all started, he raked his brain out but the only answer he got was he didn’t like it. “I don’t know! What I know is that I hate it!”

Before Minho can even answer, Taemin was on it again. Raising his hand to stop Minho from talking. “The moment I saw you with her, I hate it! You know that?” Minho could only see honesty in Taemin’s eyes. “Maybe I just never imagined seeing you with someone else.” The younger almost whispered.

“That’s why you never asked me about what happened with Jessica? Because you can’t even think about it, it pains you.”

“Now tell me about it.”

“I was dragged by a sunbae from the soccer team to a party. Jessica was also there. She told me she’s not feeling well. To make it short, I drived him home, she asked me to stay for coffee. I thought it was a good idea because I’ve been drinking in the party. The next thing I know, she was kissing me.”

“Wow you should’ve known her agenda the moment she asked you to stay, I didn’t know you’re that stupid Minho.” Taemin teased. Looking at Minho’s reaction from the corner of his eyes. He can’t believe this conversation would feel this light and calm.

“Stupid? Jess was with Taecyeon hyung that time, I didn’t know she’d do that!” Taemin was irked by the nickname. How close.

“Jess?”

Minho can’t help but grin. “You know you really look cute right now. You make me wanna kiss you with those jealous face of yours.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“You’re not?”

“Why would I be jealous of a girl who can’t even make you hard even after kissing you?” Taemin asked, his eyes showing innocence while his words mean the opposite.

Minho coughs, trying to calm himself. Before things gets out of hand, he tried to go back to the conversation. Jumping over Taemin right now won’t be a really good idea. “But Tae…”

“Hmm?”

“I know this is so late but just in case there’s a need for you to hear this but nothing happened after the kiss. I’m not even . I pushed her off and left her house.”

“You should’ve told me that! The moment rumors started to spread around.”

“I figured there’s no way you could’ve believed me. And I’m so mad at myself that time to even let a girl, a petite one, to kiss me. I was so mad at myself thinking I don’t even deserve a minute of your time.”

Taemin let out a weak laugh. It’s a refreshing feeling to voice out all these feelings, and to finally hear those words long overdue. It maybe too late now, but he knows they both need this.

“So, we finally got our long due closure, yeah?” Taemin said as he stood up, facing Minho.

“Closure? Tae…” And all the younger can see was horror in Minho’s face. The younger pulled Minho by his hands, caressing his face with his cold fingertips. “Minho, we can’t start anew if we won’t leave the past behind us. If there’s something I learned during all those months we’re not together, Minho it’s that my life without you in it.” A tear rolled down his cheeks.

“Tae…”

“And that I feel like dying when I saw you smile for someone else. I wanted to kill you for being so happy when you’re supposed to be the happiest when you’re with me.”

“I am.”

“Sssh. I’m not done yet. But I can’t kill you because that’s like killing myself.” Minho can’t help but smile. It’s an answered prayer to hear all those words right in front of him, while looking in his favorite pair of eyes. He can't hold back when his face involuntarily closed the gap between the two of them. His lips founding it's home once again.

“Tae, I know we can never take back what happened. I brought you pain, I made you cry and I regret it God knows how much I do. Let me make it up to you, to start all over again just to prove to you how much I wanted you back in my life, how much my world needs you in it. If only you’d let me, if only I can.”

“You can.”

And Minho's happiness rolled over his cheeks, tainting the face Taemin loves to kiss.