“Taemin, I want you back in my life.” 

Those were the words Taemin have always wanted to hear few months ago. When his heart was still yearning over Minho, when he feels like dying with the thought of their relationship ending. But not anymore. That’s what he thought, atleast. Not that he’s closing his heart for Minho. Not that he wants him away from his life. He’s just confused and torn right now. A part of him wants to be with his world again but a part of him is too afraid. Too afraid to be lied to again, to be taken for granted again, to love too much again.

He looked at him, surprised. “Minho—”

Minho cupped Taemin’s face in his hands. Oh, how much he missed the warmth of the younger. Leaning even more closer, he tested the waters. Since Taemin didn’t show any sign of annoyance or discomfort, he thought everything is going well and fine. “Ssh. I don’t want to pressure you.”

“But I’m—”

Minho gave him the sweetest smile. Having all his hopes too high, he pecked the younger’s cheek. Quick and nothing ual. “Taemin, I’m telling you I am willing to wait.”

“Minho, I’m already dating someone else.”

And the happy ending Minho has been dreaming about was all gone. The chance was once again lost before he even had it in his hands. He felt his world crashing as if seeing his dream fade away from him.

He quickly let go of Taemin’s face. Avoiding any eye contact, he looked away. Afraid Taemin might see his almost crying face, he tried to stop the tears from falling. He cleared his throat one last time, afraid his voice might break with all his cries before he turned his head back to Taemin. “Oh. Then we can be friends, right?” He faked the most painful smile.

“Minho, I’m—”

“It’s fine.” He faked a little laugh acting as if he’s cool. But deep inside he knows he’s everything but okay. He hoped. He honestly hoped —again. That even though he ed up the last time they’ve been together, he thought it’s not too late to prove his love.  “Oh, I forgot mom’s running an errand. I need to go. So, see you tomorrow?”

Taemin nodded and hopped off the car. “Thanks for the ride.” He waved his goodbyes together with the guilt and confusion in his heart.

The moment Minho drove off, it marked the flow of his tears, too. Sobbing like a child, he stopped on the side of the road to calm himself down, to cry even harder. Why must moving on be this hard for him? Why is Taemin taking it easy while he, he’s having the most painful time of his life. Did Taemin experience the same pain when he spent the night in Jessica’s house? Did Taemin had his hard times too when it was always him making the effort?

That afternoon went over Jonghyun’s place with a bag of canned beers. He arrived seeing Key on Jonghyun’s place, too. He decided to leave but the couple insisted he could stay so he did. A can became two, and so on and so on. Jonghyun and Key noticed the blur in Minho’s speaking and tried to stop him from drinking but Minho end up like a sobbing child. “Taemin found someone else.” “I ed up.” “I lost him, I totally lost him.” “I want him back.” “I miss Taemin.” “He moved on already.” “It hurts.” Those were the words he constantly repeated that night.

When will Minho’s pain end? When?

Taemin threw himself in his bed upon entering his room. His mind was so confused, and so was his heart. He clearly saw it, the pain in Minho’s eyes when he mentioned dating someone else already. But it was the only way to protect his heart. He can’t be with Minho, he’ll be shaken. Even his own self is not sure if he could hold back and think straight the next time Minho would hold him that close. Heart says yes, mind says no.

He’s dating someone. Right, he told him he’s dating someone. He lied. Who? Who am I even dating? He groaned all his stress. He’s been thinking too much, he’s been feeling too much, he’s been being confused too much, he’s been in pain too much.

Kai. Oh my holy yes, Kai! He thought. I must inform Kai. I could request for him to pretend to be my boyfriend. Well maybe he’ll be a good friend and agree. He don’t hate me, that I’m sure at least. I don’t have his number how the hell would I tell him.

The rest of the late afternoon was spent with cans of beer on Minho’s side and friends who are willing to listen. And Taemin on the other side had the hardest debate of his mind and heart.

The next day, Taemin decided he must be able to tell Kai about his plan as soon as possible. He went to the university early than usual to meet up Kai and explain what’s going to happen in the next few weeks. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Kai in the cafeteria with Key and Jonghyun… and Minho. He gathered his confidence well before approaching the table and had his seat beside his fake boyfriend. Good morning, he said to all of them. “Oh, you’re here too.” He faced Kai and gave off a sweet smile to hide his shaking knees.

“Yeah. I bumped with Kai as he was ordering for breakfast, I told him to sit with us.” Key said as he sipped a drink from Jonghyun’s juice.

Taemin did the same and suddenly drink from Kai’s juice, too. Surprising everyone, including Kai. He could feel his insides on a knot. At the corner of Taemin’s eyes, he was looking at Minho. Minho needs to see it, he needs to put on the show well and convincing. Maybe that way Minho would stop with all his sudden confessions shaking his heart.

He seated closer to Kai than usual, acting all comfortable and subtly sweet but he’s totally embarrassed in the inside. For ’s sake it’s not even a week since they’ve been friends let alone they barely knew each other, he haven’t explained anything to Kai yet, then he’s acting all clingy right now. Making Kai confuse with all his actions, he always give him an apologetic look, as if telling him he’s sorry and that he’ll explain everything later, hoping his friend would get the slightest idea of what’s happening.

The five of them headed to their class after eating making Minho and Taemin separate their ways without even exchanging even a single word.

“What was that?” Kai asked when it was just him and Taemin walking to their room.

Taemin covered his face, totally embarrassed. “I’m really sorry but could you do me a favor?” He peaked between his fingers, looking at Kai’s reactions slash expressions.

Kai laughed at his cuteness. “You want me to be your boyfriend, right?” He teased.

Taemin froze. “How did you know?”

“You really do?” Kai was even more surprised that Taemin didn’t even deny.

“Uh, . No. I mean, yeah. But uh.” 

“Hey, calm down.”

“I mean yeah, sort of.”

Kai raised an eyebrow. “Sort of?” He understood a bit of what’s happening but just can’t grasp the overall idea. Taemin wants him to be his boyfriend. But why?

“Look you may find me ridiculous but please pretend to be my boyfriend.” Taemin looked down, embarrassed. “In front of Minho at least.” He whispered, only loud enough for Kai to hear.

Oh so it’s not about being his boyfriend but being a fake boyfriend. He wanted to sigh loud, how could Taemin be so clueless about his interest for the boy? Accepting the favor could make things a mess in the end. What if he falls? What if Taemin, too? Still, Kai accepted Taemin’s favor. He thought it’s a good chance to spend more time with him, to get to know him more. “But under one condition.” Kai bargained.

“What?”

“I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend not just in front of Minho.”

“Why—”

“Take it or leave it.” He continued walking and head to class, giving Taemin no chance to even respond. Leaving the boy dumb founded for few seconds before running after him. “Yes! Oh yes! Kai, thanks! And oh, please save your number on my phone! I deleted your message last time and I haven't saved your number." 

Kai couldn’t help but find Taemin lovely. He saved his number later that afternoon and labeled it as 'My Kai' making Taemin puke rainbows and pixiedust.

Jonghyun sat beside Minho in their next class, noticing Minho had been down since breakfast in the cafeteria. No scratch that, he’s been down since last night when he brought over a bag of beers. “Kai was the guy, right?”

“What?”

“C’mon bro you end up crying last night talking about the new guy in Taemin’s life.” Jonghyun stated in a matter of fact tone.

“You think so, it was him?”

“Don’t you think?”

Minho paused for a second, arranging his thoughts. “I don’t know. I mean yeah, they were a little too close to be friends but there was something wrong I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Like what?”

“Trust me, Taemin was totally not comfortable with him. Especially earlier at breakfast, he was never that nervous around me when we’re still together.”

“Give them some slack, maybe it’s not too long since they’ve been together.”

Taemin went out of their classroom after class only to see Minho waiting outside the room making him ran his way back to Kai inside the room. “What is it?” Kai asked.

“Minho’s outside.” He awkwardly smiled, hoping Kai would suggest what they do to be convincing. He’s embarrassed enough in this set up he’ll be dying of embarrassment if he were to suggest a certain act they should pull.

Kai grabbed his hand confidently before walking out of the room, making Taemin’s heart skip a bit wondering where the boy get all his confidence and coolness. He’s thankful to have met a friend like Kai and relieved his friend was doing this much for him.

“Oh, Minho what brought you here?” He asked, acting as if he’s surprised Minho was there even thought he had seen him minutes ago.

Minho eyed Kai subtly before craning his head to the side, getting rid of awkwardness before looking back at Taemin.  “Uh, Tae... a professor gave me extra projects on math, you know how I on math.” He smiled.

“You’re not asking help from a freshman, are you?” Taemin teased.

“Hey! You know how much I at math and you’re good at it.”

“But—”

“He’s the guy, right? The one you said you were dating?” He asked while eyeing Kai. Taemin simply gave him a nod, at loss for words. Nervousness eating him up. “I can ask permission, as a friend needing help.” Minho grinned.

“Hey, new boyfriend is it fine for Taemin to help me in this project?” Minho asked, making Kai pause for a second. The fake couple was taken aback. Where the hell does Minho get all this enthusiasm?

“Minho, his name is Kai. Okay.” Taemin said.

“So… Kai, is it fine?” He asked again.

“Why are you asking him. It’s me who’s gonna help you anyway!” Taemin shouted, annoyed. Why is it so hard to over win Minho’s thoughts.

Minho chuckled. How does Taemin's cuteness be done effortlessly. “So, you’ll be helping me?” He felt a smile creeping up his face. He looked back at Kai. “I’ll drive him home if we end late so you won’t be worried.”

Kai awkwardly coughs. “No need.” He told Minho before looking at Taemin. “Text me the address, I’ll fetch you and drive you home when you’re done.” He kissed him on the cheeks almost making Taemin jump in surprise before leaving Minho and Taemin behind.