I.

'Kik'ing Off on Kik!• EXO's Kik Accounts

the life of a classic white girl #thestruggleisreal

*Kik?* Tao squinted at his bright phone screen as he shifted around on his bed at 3 AM. 
 
It was times like this when Tao relied on the app store to provide entertainment by browsing and scrolling, seeing if there was anything worth downloading.
 
T'was either that or he would go squeal and read fan fictions about the people he admired from YouTube,
 
just
 
like
 
the
 
classic
 
white
 
girl.
 
After pondering for a short while, he shrugged, downloaded the app, and made an account.
 
Because nothing could go wrong, right?
 
>>>
 
SLAM!
 
The door opened, disrupting a certain dragon's beauty nap. 
 
A growl erupted from Kris's mouth as he ripped off his fluffy pink eyemask, immediately regretting his decision as sunlight hit his eyes. 
 
He yelped and went back into the safety zone underneath the covers of his bed, whimpering, "TURN DOWN THE BRIGHTNESS!"
 
"Dude, just get up." Suho sighed as he too was forced awake by the curious members for this situation.
 
Kris groaned, flinging an arm over his head underneath the blanket. "No."
 
The other members looked at each other, giving a nod to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who kicked the dragon's .
 
And I mean it literally.
 
Everyone winced at Kris's shrill screams, regretting everything. 
 
Kris threw off the covers and sat up in his bed, eyes red with fury. "What. The. . Do. You. Need. At. 7. AM. In. The. Morning."
 
"Man period." Baekhyun coughed.
 
"Looks like someone forgot to take their chill- pill~" Kai sang.
 
Kris glowered at them. "What do you need that is SOOOO important to summon me at this time?"
 
LuHan glanced at XiuMin, who was the first to find about the news when he looked at his notifications for Google+. "Welllllllll... Tao made a Kik."
 
Kris blinked. "Wait what?"
 
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow as he fumbled with the belt of his red robe. "It seems foreign, so we decided to take it to you."
 
Kris sighed. "Is this really necessary?"
 
"Yes," Yixing piped in. "Because when we looked it up, it was all in English. And Kyungsoo couldn't translate it all."
 
Chen groaned. "Is it like FaceBook?"
 
Kris sighed and laid himself back down to go to sleep. "It's-"
 
Chanyeol took Chen's Samsung Galaxy III and studied the app. "It looks something more like Skype."
 
Suho sighed. "Guys-"
 
Yixing squinted from Chanyeol's shoulder. "It doesn't look like either of those."
 
"It looks like Instagram to me."
 
Baekhyun glared at LuHan for the terrible comment.
 
"It's OBVIOUSLY something like YouTube guys-"
 
" NO. IT'S LIKE ING ITUNES!"
 
"Guys-"
 
"IT SEEMS LIKE A READING MANGA APP TO ME!"
 
Kris banged his head against the bedhead, so ing tired of EXO's .
 
"Guys-"
 
"OH KRIS IS THAT BLOOD?!" Suho feigned concern in attempt to stop the argument by running over and checking Kris's head.
 
"EXCUSE YOU- wait."
 
"DUIZHANG IS BLEEDING!"
 
"From where?" Kai pondered out loud.
 
" WHAT IF HE DIES?!"
 
The blood rushes from Kyungsoo's face because of Yixing's comment. "Tao would not be pleased one bit."
 
Kyungsoo came over and shoved $uho away, checking Kris's head for any- wait there was none. 
 
Kris rolled his eyes. "Finally got your attention, es."
 
"." Chen muttered.
 
"Kik is this app where you can share pictures and videos- NOT LIKE INSTAGRAM CHANYEOL- and chat with others- AND IT'S NOT LIKE SKYPE EITHER." The dragon said, obviously annoyed.
 
"...Is that it?" XiuMin asked.
 
"Yes. Now off before I go all purple dragon on you."
 
Chanyeol snickered and Kai giggled as they left the room. "hAhHahahhHAHAHhha you're a gay dragon XD"
 
"Whatever." Kris kicked their asses out and jumped into his bed, immediately snuggling with his pillow and sleeping."
 
>>>
 
Tao gasped as his Kik got spammed with notifications from his EXO members.
 
Kai has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Kai sent you a message!
 
Kai- Yo bro how do you use this?
 
Park Chanyeol has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Chanyeol sent you a message!
 
Chanyeol- AHAHAHAH POTATOES
 
Do Kyungsoo has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Kyungsoo sent you a message!
 
Kyungsoo- Ayyy~ ^~^
 
LuHan has joined Kik!Messenger
 
LuHan sent you a message!
 
LuHan- Yo bro.
 
Byun Baekhyun has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Baekhyun sent you a message!
 
Baekhyun- Wazap ma nigga~
 
Suho has joined Kik!Messanger
 
Suho sent you a message!
 
Suho- Why am I on here again?
 
Zhang Yixing has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Yixing sent you a message!
 
Yixing- um hai
 
Chen has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Chen sent you a message!
 
Chen- trololololololol
 
XiuMin has joined Kik!Messenger
 
XiuMin sent you a message!
 
XiuMin- Is there a good reason to be here? Cuz if not, I'm deleting this app.
 
Oh SeHun has joined Kik!Messenger
 
SeHun sent you a message!
 
SeHun- Taooooooooo~ What do you do here? .-.
 
Tao groaned as he opened up a chat with all of them.
 
Tao- It would've been sooo much easier if you just opened up a group chat and invited me to it .-.
SeHun- Oh well. 
Chanyeol- :P
Kyungsoo- >//<
Kai- Never thought of it because uh WE JUST GOT THE APP.
LuHan- How do you do this? .-.
Yixing- ouo
Baekhyun- TEACH US YOUR WAYSSSSSSS SENPAIiiiIiIiIiIiI <333333#33333#4
 
The panda shut his phone off and threw a tantrum on his bed because ing hell they weren't supposed to be there.
 
>>>
 
Kris walked by Tao's room, a mug of black coffee in one hand ('cause he's a grown up) and a mug of Nutella hot chocolate in the other, listening to Tao's cries of despair.
 
He grimaced as the cries got louder and louder. 
 
The dragon sighed before calling out to the boy inside the room. "Taozi? Daddy has something that'll make you feel better..."
 
No response.
 
"It's Nutella hot cocoa."
 
The whines came to a stop. The door opened and Tao's arm took his drink. The door closed, leaving Kris rejected by his son.
 
The leader ran his free hand through his hair. "Babe? Do you wanna talk...?"
 
Meanwhile, in Tao's room, the male was just standing and drinking his hot cocoa. As much as he'd love to consult his 'Daddy', food always comes first.
 
Kris frowned. "Tao, I know you're in there drinking the hot cocoa."
 
...
 
"Just use your free hand to open the door, please."
 
Tao opened the door, only to slam it back in Kris's face after revealing half his face and hiss, "YOU SHALL NOT PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
 
The Krist rubbed his temples and groaned. "Goddammit why must my boyfriend be so white."
 
>>>
 
Tao threw his phone into his pillow as he rolled around his bed, groaning loudly. *WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEE?!*
 
The buzz of his iPhone interrupted his thoughts, causing the clumsy panda to fall backwards and hit his head on the wooden floor (indeed he was a white girl) as he raced to read the notification. 
 
Kris Wu has joined Kik!Messenger
 
Just as Tao's hand made contact with his face, his white smartphone vibrated again.
 
Kris Wu sent you a message!
 
Kris- tao, it is time for you to confess your sins to krist
 
>>>
 
"I'll play guitar and knit and cook~! And basically just wonder, wHeN wILl my LIiiIIIIIifE begin~?!?!" Kris did a ballerina twirl around his bed, his ears, heart, and voice lost in the song of Rapunzel in Tangled.
 
"GEGE, HOW ING DARE YOU?!" Tao screamed when he kicked Kris's door open, eyes ablaze as if the cracky life he lived became an anime.
 
"THEN, AFTER LUNCH, IT'S PUZZLES AND DARTS AND BAKING- wAiT tAoZi puT tHaT uMbRElLA dOwN!?!?!?!?!"
 
>>>
 
"SO OUR DIFFERENCES AIN'T REALLY THAT EXTREEEEEEMEEEEEE!!" Kris's terrible voice echoed throughout the entire dorm, causing the ten members gathered in the living room (with BaekYeolChenSoo playing Scrabble, XiuSeLuKai screaming at the iPad as they watched PewdiePie, and SuLay playing Dance Dance Revolution) to groan even louder.
 
"'CAUSE WAY DEEP DOWN INSIDE WE'VE GOT A DREAMmmMM!!!" Tao screeched, voice cracking.
 
And that, my friends, is the one of the many 'struggling' days in the life of the classic white girl, Huang ZiTao (with the addition of his white-washed 'family').
 
>>>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
WHAT THE DID I JUST WRITE. 
 
but i hope you liked it~ c:
 
even though it was probably im sorry i at cracky introductions
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
btw go watch frozen. it's a good movie. the best 'princess' disney movie along with mulan and tangled.
 
IF YOU WANNA READ THE REST OF MY STORIES, HERE ARE LINKS:
 
Exotic Girl + 12 Hot Aliens= The Craziest Thing Yet (EXO as aliens, you as this bad- chick. Mainly romcom/crack).
 
Of Aerodynamics, Blue Uniforms, and Crappy Airline Food (ot12 EXO crack; airport AU {xiuchen focused})
 
My Brother is in... MBLAQ!?!?!? (MBLAQ with you as their little dorm mate because one of them is your brother ;D. Romcom.)
 
Kpop to Pokemon (where I compare your idols to Pokemon c: I need to update this too XD)
 
The Magnizzling and Fanterbulous Days of Kit Kat Caitlyn (a sassy Internet journal that holds the information of my cracky school life XD)
 
 
k bye
 
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Thank you!
CinderHeart
('Kik'ing Off on Kik! EXO's Kik Accounts) IM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED PLS FORGIVE ME SCHOOL IS WEIRD IM WEIRD IM SO SORRY BUT HERES A CHAPTER TO APPEASE U

Comments

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thefrothycoffee
#1
Chapter 16: HOLY THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IVE EVER READ I LAUGHED SO MUCH OHMYGOD
GalaxyBaoZi
#2
Chapter 15: Chapter 15 is life. xDDD
Yasss for the anime referencesss!
exozen
#3
Chapter 16: YAY kyungsoo we should watch black butler together and fangirl over Ciel or Sebastian!
oh and i think sehun will win for the battle of the iest
MyStarryNight
#4
Chapter 14: LOL Ukes won
jiosne #5
Chapter 15: I JUST REALISED SOMETHING.

I'VE BEEN READING KAI AS KRIS THIS WHOLE TIME UGH.
jiosne #6
Chapter 15: i feel like you writing this is for releasing out your craziness
because the way they speak REMINDS ME TOO MUCH OF YOU AND MY ENG IS FAILING ME AGAIN ok bai
DragonTopsThePanda
#7
Chapter 14: IM CDYUNG
"Tao- XING IF YOU DON'T DO THIS RIGHT I SWEAR
Yixing- rawr ;)
Tao- tHAT'S THE SPIRIT !!! <3"
WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY
MyStarryNight
#8
Chapter 13: LOL The song refrences tho in this chapter got me LMAO!!! I love this XD
Exoticfan2244 #9
Chapter 14: Oh my god. I can't form coherency
lemonlovesfanfics #10
Chapter 14: The references.....I love every single one of them xD