Chapter Seventeen

Clearing Sky

“Yuri will not be able to promote with for the meantime due to some personal conflicts.  Though there are only eight of us onstage, we will always be complete in our hearts.  I hope that you will all still support our endeavors and our music.  Yuri will be able to be with us in no time.”

Taeyeon smiled cheekily and flashes of light expectedly were reflected in her face and other members’ as well.  They were all wearing almost the same patterned dresses in black and white.  They were still Girls’ Generation.  They are still the dolls and goddesses of South Korea.

Yuri turned the TV off and wiped the tears that were starting to form in her eyes.  She has been caving in their house for two weeks after she left their dorm.  Sooyoung cried while pleading her to stay while Taeyeon had a hard time having a straight face.  She told them that she needed the time to think and for Yoona to heal.   The others needed not to ask when Taeyeon explained that Yuri had to leave.  They trusted her.

“I really thought you were over the crying part of your life,” a voice from the door of her room said.  It was Jiyong.  He was dressed in a three-piece suit and he looked impeccable more than ever.  She smiled at the pleasant surprise.

“Jiyong,” she run to hug her older cousin.  “I never thought I’d see you so soon.  Where have you been these times when I needed you?”

“Shut up, Yuri.  The last time I heard, there was a Choi Siwon who should have been taking care of you.”  Yuri scoffed at the reference of Siwon.  “I guess that was over, huh?  What about Jung Yunho?  Since he was back, I thought I would be completely ignored again.”

“Don’t mention that name, Ji,” she said as she pinched the arm that was hugging her.  Jiyong yelped and she smiled.  They were like this when Yunho went to the US.  She had no one to talk to when she decided to go to SM to train but there was Jiyong.  He was the older brother that she never had.  “What in the world made you wear suits?”

He grinned abashedly before they started laughing.  “There’s going to have a celebratory dinner later,” he said rather seriously.  It was these times when Yuri knows that Jiyong is more of a businessman than the older cousin that she truly adored.  “The Jungs got the majority of votes for the SME presidency and you should know that the Kwons have helped in gaining them the shares.”

Yuri stared at him blankly, not fully comprehending what he had just said.  “We… No.  I had struck some deals with some shareholders in exchange for their votes to Yunho.  And I have helped Yunho’s allies to gain more shares in the company.  You don’t need to know more–”

“Of course!  Apparently, I don’t need to know anything.  I am always the last one to know something and if that helps me look like anything, it’s to look like a blundering idiot,” Jiyong was surprised at how Yuri said it so calmly yet her eyes were sending him too much resentment.  “And I thought, at least I could lean on you.  You were a part of their big conniving plot to control other people’s lives.”   She let go of him and his heart almost broke for his miserable cousin.

“Yuri, listen.  It’s not to control you.  It’s because we care too much for you that we are doing this.  Someday, you’ll realize that we did this to make you happy, to free yourself in a political web you are in.”

She let out a brittle laugh.  “That’s rich.  Every one of you is saying that it’s about me.  Well, hello!  Your wicked plan just ruined my friendship with Yoona.”  She controlled her tears as she stared back at Jiyong.  “I just wish everyone would stop saying that.”

“It’s not just you, Yul,” Jiyong said as he looked down.  “After this, everything will be free of the knots that we have been tied all along,” he looked up and gave her a small smile before turning his back and walked away.

The celebration was held at the Kwon’s home.  It would have felt like the usual dinner between the two families if not for the evident unspoken tension that was looming at the dinner table.  Her mother looked like she was about to cry and she has never seen her like that before.  Hyeyoung who was vocal about her dislike with black dresses was wearing one.  Her father however kept talking, leading the conversation between the men like there was nothing wrong around them. 

She sat there.  She sat like a doll dressed with rich and detailed dress that she thought priced as much as the pretentious talk her father has been leading on.  She never spoke once and just gave the small smiles whenever she was acknowledged.  She stole a look towards Yunho earlier on while her father was regaling the son he never had.  Instead of looking like the celebrant of the moment, he looked like he had been haunted. 

Her cousin was a different story.  He seemed to be the only one not affected by what was happening and it was getting on her nerves.  He even winked at her once when he caught her looking at Yunho. 

“…Jung Yunho would soon rise as one of the top businessmen of his generation.  At such young age, he’s able to prove that he’s someone to reckon with,” Sang Woo said as he continued on praising Yunho.

“Indeed.  You have made me such a proud father,” Joon Ho said as tapped his son’s back.

“A young blood yet stained with the mentors’ corruption,” Hyeyoung quipped which earned her a glare from her husband.  Yunho paled at his mother’s open disappointment in him.  If she was not the one who was more aggravated in the situation, she would have comforted him.  But things have changed already.

“Ah, TOP said he’s on the way,” Jiyong chirped happily to lessen the thick atmosphere that threatening to escalate into verbal argument of the two matriarchs against their husbands.  “We went to the same university.  He bought some shares in SME to help Yunho,” Jiyong whispered to her.  She rolled her eyes.

“Just how many people are involved in this twisted game for my happiness?” she shot back.

“You might be surprised, dear cousin.”

“I really want to hate you,” she spat.

“But of course, you can’t.  You always knew where my loyalty lays, my princess,” he said.  She smiled.  Jiyong was right.  He never once did leave her and she knew that this time, Jiyong would still be on her side.  When she looked up, she found Yunho’s eyes on her.

“A chance, princess, it’s what those eyes are asking for,” she heard Jiyong, her supposed to be ally, whisper to her.  “Go.”

She didn’t like confrontations.  She didn’t want to hear the truth from Yunho as it would just bring her more misery yet she found herself treading the path towards her mother’s garden where she bare her heart to him the last time.  It was too late to stop as she could already hear hurried footsteps that she was sure belonged to Yunho. 

When she turned around to face him, his breath caught in his throat.  She looked ethereal under the moonlight.  Her eyes, glassy from the tears threatening to pour down and full of misery and anguish that he brought her. He looked down, ashamed that he still found her attractive despite the show of misery.

“Look at me, Yunho,” she started, her voice surprisingly firm.  “Is this the happiness that you were talking about the last time we had a talk like this?  You used my best friend to get what you want.  Is this what you have become after you went away?  A businessman who gives little value to people’s feelings?  A monster?!”

A monster.  It rang to his head.  Every word she said to him stung.  “What were done, have to be done.  There’s no other way to make all right.  You could be suffering now if I didn’t interfere with the company you are working on.”

“God, do you hear yourself?  How dare you tell me about suffering when you have brought upon all this to us all.  You thought little of Yoona, didn’t you?  You dangled yourself in front of her and make her fall in love you only to use her against her father.  She hates me now.  I just wish you know half of what I feel right now.”

He let out a long sigh.  Didn’t he prepare himself for this?  Seeing Yuri this miserable and blaming his obvious manipulation to him still bring more pain than he thought.  “Believe me, Yuri.  I do.  I know how you feel.  I know when someone dear to you hates you.  Someone you love more dearly than your life hates you and looks at you with miserable and angry eyes.  Seeing you right now is more than a punishment to me.  But you see, I needed to do this.”

He tried to hold her, to make her see what he wanted her to see.  She just shook his hands away.  “What do you mean?  Don’t tell me that…”

“You have always been the one, Yuri.  Always,” he could feel heart tighten as her tears started falling, “You have always wanted to be an entertainer and I didn’t want to take it away from you.  When father told me about you company’s unfair regulations, I wanted to take you away from your dreams.  It couldn’t be brought up to court because there are already contracts involved and there is no law that protects your rights.  I wanted so much to save you from that predicament and it was the only thing that I could think of.

“I may hurt people along the way but after all this would be done, everything’s going to be alright.  I didn’t want to hurt Yoona but it was the only way that I could get to her father.  Before I even went to SME, her father already struck a deal with me.  I just didn’t think that he was planning to reveal everything to Yoona before this is all is over. 

“Yuri, please believe me, if there would have been any other way to this, I would have done it without hurting anybody or hurting you.  God knows how much I hated doing this all when every time I go to sleep, all I could think about is how this would hurt you most of all.”

Yunho’s faded to darkness and silence fell between them.  He just wanted her to understand so at least he could ease even a little of what she was feeling.

“If loving means making me this miserable, I never should have wished you to return my love.  I never wanted a selfish love, Yunho.  I will wait when everyone heals, then maybe, I could be happy, too.”  She wiped the stain that the tracks of tears left as she walked past him.  She had the choice.  Be happy that Yunho has finally returned the love that she had been nurturing for a long time and ignore the hurt that people who were hurt because of his love.  Or have faith in him, that everything will be alright when this would all be over, maybe then she could be happy in his arms.

She chose the latter.

She didn’t return inside the house.  Instead, she went to Jiyong’s car.  He gave her the key earlier, giving her the chance to temporarily run away from all this.  She sped into the night, her windows open and letting the wind fly her hair.  She felt the humid air dampen her face yet she didn’t mind.  She still wasn’t numb after all.

It was past nine in the evening and she could still her heart beating fast.  She just finished her eleventh run-through of their new song and she didn’t plan on wrapping it up soon.  She was alone in their new dance studio and still, she couldn’t find silence she was looking for.  She slumped on the corner of the room, resting her back against the wall and looked at her reflection. 

Even though she had been told beautiful far too many times that she could count, she still found many imperfections in her face.  Her face is too small and she had weird eyes and set of mouth and everyday of her life, she couldn’t see that beautiful girl everyone’s talking about whenever she looks at her own reflection.  Yuri once said that she should see that beautiful girl in her or she might not find it at all even with all the people saying that she is.

Her face contorted with pain as she remembered the older girl.  She felt foolish for letting it all out on Yuri and thought she must have caused her so much pain with all the words she said.  Wasn’t it unfair though?  Wasn’t it unfair that Yuri had the life she wanted, a complete happy family, Yunho and Siwon’s attention while she was always basked with attention she never wanted ever since was in the media.  She was being childish, she knew that, but she was too ashamed to admit that to Yuri now.  After all that she had said that night, how could she expect Yuri to forgive her?

“You’d be freaked out if the mirror would talk back to you,” a voice said.  She found the source of the voice through his reflection in the mirror.  He was at the door, leaning and smiling at her.

“Siwon oppa…” she startled by his presence and she has never felt so conscious in her life now that she’s full of sweat.  “What are you doing here?

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said as he walked towards her.  “A manager said you were practicing so I thought I’d come by to see how you are doing.”  He passed her an energy drink and sat beside her.

“What’s this?  A pity drink?” she asked and assumed that he probably knew what happened to her and Yunho, not the nitty-gritty of the story anyway.

“More like a hwaiting drink,” he said and laughed at his own lack of creativity.  “Pity does not suit you at all.”

Yoona looked at Siwon and smiled.  What was it exactly that made her heart a-flutter whenever he was around her?  She was sure that it wasn’t just his looks, his clean and sleek appearance, not his masculine physique and most certainly not his awkward humor.  Probably it was because of the optimism he shows even though he’s always been picked on.  He became her role model and the more she admired him, the more she had seen through him beneath his nearly perfectly good looks.

“Well, I’ve seen worse days in my life,” she said and opened the bottle he gave her.  She drank a little from the bottle and stood up.  She went to the center of the room and checked herself through the mirror again.  She looked fine, she thought, and beautiful.

She played the music through a remote control and dropped the device on the floor.  She held Siwon’s gaze as the beat started.  Then he smiled, showing his dimples.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” he asked as she missed her cue for her routine, her heart started racing again.

A/N: It has been more than a year!! Ha!  After an eternity of not updating this, I want to thank everyone who still kept this on their subscription list, those who kept reading this, those who just read this, those who kept asking me to update on the comment box and some even went as far as private messaging!  I just want you to know that I didn't proof-read this chapter, again(sorry for that!) and there might be a lot of inconsistencies, grammar and spelling errors that you might notice, please do point out because I would be happy to fix them.  And hey, did you see my new poster? haha Lots of love to you all!