“Mama, look at this!” Joon was sitting in the middle of the living room, lifting up one of the gifts he got – a large toy car that may or may not be bigger than his entire body.

I forced myself to smile. “That looks great, honey.” The birthday ended on a good note, if we didn’t count my aunt’s appearance. The parents didn’t say anything – I don’t know if it was because they didn’t hear what was going on or they were considerate enough to not be nosey. But whichever one it was, I was still grateful they didn’t bring it up.

He grinned at my response and went back to playing. But the restlessness didn’t allow me to stay still. “Joonie, can you come here please?” I called out gently.

At my request, he placed aside one of his many presents and readily stood up. He walks over to where I was sitting on the couch.

I reached out and lightly smoothed out his hair. I opened my mouth to speak but I didn’t know what else to say. “Happy birthday, Joonie.” My voice came out in a whisper. I continued to run my hand through his short black strands. I just wanted to be close to him. Maybe it was because in the back of my mind, I felt like I was going to lose him. “Did you have fun?”

He nodded once and grinned. “Yes!”

I let out a soft chuckle. “That’s good.” But the calmness was short lived and the anxiety came back, causing my smile to disappear. “I love you so much.” I stated softly so I didn’t have to hear my own voice crack.

“Is something wrong, mama?” Joon tilted his head curiously.

I shook my head and cleared my throat. “No, nothing is wrong.” I cupped his face to pull him forward so I can kiss his forehead and moved my own hands down to grab both of his, holding onto them as if he would slip away from me.

My tears threatened to fall as I looked at his face. I quickly blinked away the forming tears and reluctantly dropped his hands. “Sorry honey, go play.”

He nodded but continued to look at me.

“Joon, can you check if the cartoon is on?” Yongguk’s voice broke out from behind us. Joon looked over my shoulder at the young man, who was in the kitchen and cheerfully nodded his head. “Okay, uncle.”

I looked down at my hands and Yongguk slowly made his way over to sit beside me on the couch. “Who was the person that came today?”

“Someone from my past.” I answered with my eyes still on Joon. He was standing in front of the TV, flipping through the channels. There was silence between us and Yongguk spoke again.

“I feel like the situation has switched.” He chuckled softly and I couldn’t help but think I’m such a hypocrite. “Do you remember what you told me?” He asked me. When Yongguk was in this state a few days ago, I wanted him to open up to me but I couldn’t do the same now.

“So it wasn’t easy to tell me.” Now I can understand what Yongguk was going through. It must have been hard to open up to me about such a sensitive part in his life, and I didn’t know then.

He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Nope.”

I let out a soft laugh. “But, I’ve never spoke about this to anyone before.”

He looked over and smiled at me. “Me neither. Himchan was the only one besides my dad who knew.” He sighed. “Do I need to repeat what you said to me?”

Involuntarily, another laugh left my lips and he smiled wider looking at me. I inhaled a breath and turned to look at him more confidently. “She’s my aunt.” I looked back at Joon who had taken a seat on the carpet a few feet in front of us. With his attention fully on the TV, I felt it was safe to speak, I suppose. “A few days ago, I got a call from the law firm saying Joon can now accept his inheritance and she wants the money.”

“So she wants to take Joon?”

I nodded.

I heard Yongguk sigh beside me. “Why don’t you just let her do so? It’ll be easier on you.”

I turned to look at him, slightly taken aback. “Joon is my son. I know you still don’t understand our relationship, Yongguk. I’m the only mother he knows.” I would die before I let that happen.

“You are working so hard for a kid that isn’t your real son.”

“I am no different from the mothers who came with their children today.” In my eyes, there was no difference. So what was Yongguk seeing that I wasn’t?

He doesn’t register my words as he continues. “Why do you want to keep Joon? I see how hard you work for him. You aren’t obliged to. So, why?”

“Because I love him.” It was as simple as that. “The only people who could surpass my love for Joon are no longer in this world – which leaves only me.” I was starting to get emotional because how could Yongguk easily look down on this bond I have with Joon. “And I work hard because I want to – not because I feel obliged to do so. Just because he lost his parents, it doesn’t mean he should also lose an opportunity to experience a parent’s true love.”

We sat there and stared at each other.

When he didn’t respond, I realized then that no matter what I said, Yongguk would never understand. Even if I had to spell it out for him. “I don’t need you to accept it.” I spoke softly.

He sighs. “Then why do you look like you have given up?”

There was a second pause and I blinked at Yongguk in surprise. “What?”

“If you feel so strongly about keeping Joon, why do you look like you have already lost to your aunt?” In response to that, I couldn’t say anything back.  “You should take steps to prepare for everything she might be planning, right?” Again, I was left speechless. I could only nod.  Seeing my confused state, Yongguk sighed. “Do you wa