I sighed as I ran the towel through Yongguk’s hair. He has been silent the entire time and it seems like his mind was anywhere but here with me at the moment. There are so many things I needed to ask and so many things I needed to tell him. But, I needed to pick carefully on how I was going to start off.

So, I decided to save his father’s news for last.

“Where have you been?” I softly asked. Joon must have known something was going on since he stayed seated on the couch, his eyes peering over the back of the seat to look at us. Must have been worried too since he was wide awake.

I waited but there was no response.

“You didn’t pick up my calls either.”

His head was hung and droplets of water dangled at the end of the short strands of his hair. I sighed after not receiving any response. It was strange seeing him so silent, Yongguk was loud…but now, there was not a single peep from him.

“Why did you sit out in the rain? You know you could get sic,k right?” Like father like son. It was like the two men didn’t know how to take care of their health. He doesn’t answer but my hands continue their gentle rubbing movements.

“I saw someone today.”

My hands stopped their movements as he looked up at me. His words came out in a whisper and when I looked at his eyes – there was nothing there. No emotion…it was just blank.

I blinked back and continued to dry his hair with the towel. “Is that why you didn’t come back from lunch?”

He brought his hands up to grip both of mines. My hands relaxed, waiting for what he was going to do next. “I’m going to change.” Before he got up, I pushed him back down into the chair. He couldn’t just say those words and not explain to me why it made him like this.

“Yongguk, you have already changed.” It was the first thing I made him do when we got into the apartment. Was he that out of it that he didn’t even remember changing into dry clothing? “What’s going on?”

“Shiwon, I’m fine.”

I was caught by surprise. It was the first time he called me by my real name. He always called me by that stupid nickname. And you know what was stranger, I felt somewhat distanced from him when he said that. “Is there something going on?” I tried again. I cupped and lifted his face up so that he would meet my eyes. “You can tell me.” I softly urged him. It wasn’t healthy to keep everything bottled up inside. And seeing him like this only convinced me more.

“I’ve already told you everything is fine.” Yongguk kept his voice low with a hint of anger in his words and glared up at me.

But at that moment, I didn’t see the anger that Yongguk was showing, instead, I saw the loneliness that he tried to keep hidden. I placed the towel over his head lightly again and massaged his temples with both of my hands. He continued to look at me. “I’m sure something happened today. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it but don’t push me away. You’ll only get hurt.” I gently chided him. I knew what being alone did to people. They start to hurt more as their lives get wrapped up in their problems and pain.

“What makes you say that?” His anger was gone now but he looked back down at his feet, avoiding eye contact.

“It’s normal for people to keep their walls up. It’s a natural defense against getting hurt. I know by making you speak about it, it will only hurt you more so you decide to avoid it altogether.” I don’t even know why I was bothering with this. It wasn’t my problem to begin with but I couldn’t just leave him in this state. “So lying to me and saying you’re okay, when you’re not, is your way of strengthening your walls.”

“Why do you talk like you know everything about me?” Yongguk didn’t sound bitter, he just sounded like he really wanted to know.

“Well, I don’t know much about you, Yongguk. Besides the things I see you’ve done and said. But, I’ve seen how you act around Joonie and I. I’ve seen you try to avoid Joon. Especially by arguing with him – making him dislike you. And the fact that you still refuse to acknowledge the mother and son relationship that I have with Joonie.” It was true – I have never heard Yongguk say anything about our relationship. “I honestly don’t know why it’s so hard to for you to believe, but it’s almost like you don’t believe in the bonding between anyone.” I chuckled. Because even though Joon and I weren’t real mother and son, our bond has proven otherwise. And I don’t know what I was rambling on about but it all seemed to make sense as the words flowed out of my lips. “But have you noticed? Because I’ve noticed.”

“Noticed what?” Yongguk mumbled.

“That you’ve taken a liking to my son.” I gave a soft laugh. “And tell me if I’m wrong