It has been several days since my last conversation with Ailee. Now it seems like she’s avoiding everyone she ever know. Nobody can reach her. So I decided to confront Byunghee. He might know something I don’t. And my instinct never failed me. it’s true that Byunghee know something. It just he don’t know where she is currently, but at least I know what make her disappear like this.

Now I know phone is absolutely not a method of choice if I want to talk to her, so I mail her instead.

“My little girl, I know what hurt you that make you make such an extreme decision. But please, contact me as soon as you read this mail. Arasso?”

Was all I sent her after at least an hour struggling in front of my lappy, don’t really know how to comfort her and make her contact me.

I peeked at my watch. Waa..it has been this late. No wonder my eyes feels so heavy. I shuffle to my bed, climbing the stair and settle on my not so comfortable mattress. Oh, how I wish we would done better job because I want to move into a more comfortable home. It’s not like I am not grateful with this dorm. I am, seriously from the bottom of my heart, I do. I really do. However, it would be nice if I don’t have to climb this stupid stair again in my life.

I drifted into my slumber not long after that. Don’t blame me because I had a really, really long day today.

I awakened by a delicious smell in the morning. It must be our grandpa of the group. He’s the one that decent enough with his cooking. And he’s an early riser on top of that. So it is only acceptable he is the one who fixed breakfast for our whole group member; on busy or free mornings.

I climbed down the stair and nearly stumble upon toothy giant’s blanket that pooling at the side of our bunk beds. I need to smack him later when he awake and give him an earful lecture on how to have a decent sleep. He always kicks his blanket off of him. This is definitely one of the reason I would really, really like to move into a more comfortable house.

I walked ahead to the kitchen after doing a mental note to punish my roommate.

“Khunnie.. what do you make this early?” I asked him with my just-awake-voice.

He turned facing me and grins.

“Oh, hyung. Nothing much, just pancake as I notice we have perfect ingredients to make one.”

I smiles to his simple answer and just nod. He turned back to his pancake. I went to behind him and snake my arm around his waist, nudging my face to crook of his neck.

He giggles and elbowing me.

“Hyung, you know I cannot adapt to that level of tickling. I really appreciate it if you could wake up our other members or else we’re going to be late for our schedule.”

“Eung, arasso.” I simply answered and giggled as I walked around the house to wake up those pabos.

 I grinned widely when I saw our maknaes in the living room. They’re so cute sleeping like that. Their limbs entangled together, just like a lovely couple. And I got this brilliant idea. I rushed into my room, get my phone and snapped their pictures. Surely will become my useful hidden card.

Then I kick them lightly.

“Yah, maknae. Ireonna. It’s morning already.” lazily itried to wake them up. However they won’t budge, not even an inch.

“Do you really want to be spanked huh?” I threated them. I am positive that they can hear me, just too lazy to wake up.

When they still in their position, I decide to wake them up in extreme way.

PPPAKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! A loud sound echoed through our dorm, followed by my evil laughter when I heard a loud “YAH!!!!” in between that.

“YAH? YAHRAGU???? Oh, I think 1 spank is not enough for you Chansung-ah. Do you really craved for another one huh?” I asked and smirked was plastered all over my face. I lift my arms as if I will give him another deadly spank.

And Chansung, as usual being a nice maknae immediately apologize and hurry shake woodong, his livingroom-mate with his innocent doe-eyed on my face along the process.

I nodded, satisfied with his reaction. When  woodong also awakened I instructed them to wake up the others, that toothy giant in my room and the king Junho. Since waking Taec is a hell of a task, I bid them goodluck and headed to the kitchen to help Khun set the table for us.

We have a nice morning chat over the breakfast table. And pancake khun made is really delicious. I don’t mind eating this once a week. We thanked Khun and get ready for our schedule while Taec and our second maknae, nuneo do the dishes.

In the morning we have Running Man shooting and after that we went for CF shooting. Shooting finished late but in between the schedule I keep check my email if, only if she did reply my email. Not to my taste, my email only filled with notification from my social network accounts; facebook, twitter, instagram etc.

The whole day I am not in my best mood. I keep daydream and dazed, looking so mong. It makes our filming delayed for even more.

That night, while waiting for our turn to be called for Music Bank performance, Khun grab my wrist and dragged me out of our waiting room, looking for a more private place to have a talk. I don’t know why this sudden attitude towards his hyung, but I guess he annoyed enough seeing me being pathetic.

We end up at the end of a dark hallway. After make sure there’s no one around, he started to speak to me in a strict tone. The one he spared and only used when he discussing really, really important matter. And by that, I know he’s dead serious about this thing.

“Waeguronie?” only that word that escaped his lips. I can’t really see his expression so I don’t know his exact feeling right now. Did he mad, did he disappointed towards me? I don’t know.

“Is it because of her, hyung?” he extend his question at my silence.

I nodded. I hope he sees my movement, but it’s too dark. So I decide I need to voice out my answer.

“Ne.” simple lifeless answer I gave him enough to give him rough idea on my condition right now. Because after that he embraced me in his warm hug and he draw big circle at my back.

Seriously, that was calming. His girlfriend is so lucky to have him. He let me go and go beside me, lean onto the wall I was leaning before he embraced me.

“Hyung, as much as I regret to have said this to you but I need to.” With his head down, he stopped for a while, gaining courage I think? It is rare to see our confident Nichkhun to hesitate.

“I think you need to let her go. You need to let it go. Everything, don’t even have hope for her to fall for you. Sort your heart out. Or else you would bring harm to our group.”

Hearing this, I understand why he hesitated just now. He about to interfere my feeling. It doesn’t sound right. How would I sort out my heart. Seriously, I don’t have any idea how to sort out my heart.

“You know, others would have notice if you keep on derailed like this. And I might not able to cover up for you anymore hyung. Especially Junho. You know how he is if he started to curious about something.”

Hah, that boy. He is pain in the if he starts to curious. Don’t make me start. He would bug me 24/7 until he dig out what he want out of me. That, is something I would not want to experience in this middle of my messy head. I might end up punching his beautiful face if that ever happened. I shrugged my body. Shiver at the mere thoughts of our brother bond might be broken because of this.

“Before all of this get out of our hand to manage, I suggest you to stop. I know she’s your friend and all. But, if she’s not contacting you, don’t you think it is one of her way to say that she needed space and time to be alone? I am really sure she will resurface when she’s ready. And judging from your relationship with her, I am pretty sure you will be one of the first person she would contact. Don’t you agree with me?”

He finished his speech elegantly. Well, this is one of the reason he is the brain in our group. He not just simply comforts others. He gave us solution. His rational way of thinking always acceptable and I don’t know, real? He’s realistic and understanding. Yeah, that’s the correct way to put khun into words. And I felt much more calm only after listen to his rambling.

“Arasso. Thanks Khun.” I said, patting his shoulder.

“Let’s go. Others would be worried if we stayed out for too long.” I said to him. We walked back, stopped by at the vending machine and bought drinks for all of us. At least that would be a rigid reason for our missing just now.

We finished our schedule for the day and went back to our dorm. Bickering a little on who should washed up first and have some late night supper. Then all of us went to our respected rooms and have a good rest. Another early starts tomorrow so we really need our rest now.

“I need to let it go, let her go.” I whisper my determination before sleep. Hoping I would be hypnotized by those whispers. I repeated it again and again until I fallen asleep.

That was how my day ended.