I waken up to the soft light shine upon my face. I sat up and saw a figure by my enormous window.

“Halmonie.. what are you doing?” I asked her, still sleepy.

She opened up the window and I felt soft, fragrance breeze blew upon my face. How I love this morning breeze. Cold and calming, numbing at some point but I still love these morning breeze.

My nanna smile at me and asked.

“Aigoo, my granddaughter has grown up. But you still act like a 5 year-old girl. When will you grow up dear?”

I pouted a little and answer as a matter of factly.

“Halmonie, what are you saying? Why are you asking when you know the exact answer? I will always be the little girl in front of you.” 

She just smiles at my perfect answer and walk towards my bed. She sits down beside me and ruffled my morning hair.

“Aigoo, you’re such a sweet talker aren’t you?” she said.

I s my hands around her old body and snuggle my face at her warm shoulder.

“Hehe, and whose fault is that? Halmonim, I got this trait from you remember?”

I answered her and smile against her warm shoulder. I love her scent, motherly and calming. Exactly everything that I need whenever my thoughts seems cannot be straightened up.

“Sweetheart, what happened in Korea?”

That question everybody, is the exact question I have been trying to avoid. That is also why I flee here in the first place. However I forgot one important thing; that my granny reads me like an open book.

I looked at her with questioning look. Try my hardest to pretend that she, my granny was talking nonsense right now and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just come here because I miss her and grandpa too much.

“Don’t even bother to try and fool me baby. Have you forgotten that I am the one who’s been taking care of you? You are inside my palm dear. I can read your body language just fine. And I absolutely know that you are not fine.”

I just smiled weakly. I am so lucky that I have my granny. I know she is someone I can always lean onto whenever I have problems. 

“Halmonie, I guess I am a boring person.” I started to pour everything out, but hesitated for a while when I saw frown on my granny forehead.

“Well, I have a boyfriend. Hurm, I had a boyfriend might be more suitable because I have decided that I am better off without him.”

I said and smiles. My granny just shook her head and looks at me.

“If you really think like that and determined with your decision, why do you become like this? Why were you like a zombie and spent all your day in your room honey?”

Ouch, knowing that from third person point of view really hurt me cause I sound completely pathetic. And seriously, I am not that type of person to begin with. When did I start to become a pathetic, loser human being.

“Keke, it seems like I only thought I should think like that while my heart is screaming the opposite way halmonie. I only need some time to clear my head and calm my heart down. I’ll be bouncing back in no time. Don’t worry halmonie. I am sure I can survive through this. Furthermore, I am here with you and halaboji right? You clearly know that both of you are my eternal source of strength right?”

I try to smile as wide as possible so that my granny would stop worrying about my wellbeing. And everything I said is true. And I believe I’ll be back soon. I just need some time away to sort my heart out.

“Arasso. But don’t push yourself too hard. You know I always be here if you ever need me okay? Never hesitated to ask for help alright?”

I just nodded my head and smile again. My granny stood up and told me to get my breakfast in the kitchen. She walked out of my room after she has satisfied with my answer and condition.

I was walking down the small garden we have in the backyard. My grandfather loves gardening, and this is his masterpiece. With various types of flowers, this garden has been my place of solace. I always hide here when I have messy thought and burdened heart.

 I sat down at one of the bench my grandpa built in the garden. I scroll down my email at my sony experia z. I reread Minjun oppa email for me I have received few months back. As usual he worries about me and ask me to contact him. But I am so sorry I can’t do that.

I am not ready yet. I am sure he will understand why I do this. I really need space and time.

“Oppa, I am sorry if I make you worried. But, I really need some time alone and I just want to tell you that I am safe and alive. Ke Ke. So, stop worry about me and focus in whatever you do okay. Your group get into troubles is the last thing I want to ever happen. Well, I am sure I’ll be back soon, so fighting, oppa. J”

I mailed it to him so that he can focus in his work. I stayed for a little while and I go inside the house when it started to get dark.

I spent my holiday with my grannies. And I feel much calmer right now. I decided to go back to Korea and resume my activity. I can’t stay hiatus for too long. This time I set my mind that I will be strong. He is not something that can affect me anymore. I will show him how good I am and he is at the lost end, for what he has done to me and to our relationship.

I booked my ticket to Korea and make sure that I will arrive in early dawn so that not so many people at the airport. That way I can have quieter comeback.

When this is a secret it will be much more fun, don’t you agree with me?

My wide grin plastered on my face when I saw my manager diligently waiting for me at the airport. We hugged for a short time and he hurried me to get into the car after getting my luggage. He is right, I don’t want to delay because I could risk getting caught getting back and I might be exposed.

I sigh as we arrived at my house and I slumped onto my bed. Continue sleeping for a while and went to my agency later in the morning. I have to arrange my schedule for my comeback and also settle my school matter.