“Oppa, can I meet you today?” Ailee asks me through the phone.

“Yes you can. I have some free time now. Plus, I need your help in something. Where should we meet? Do I need to pick you up anywhere?” I asked her back.

“Ani,  just come to the coffee shop near my college. You know where it is right?” she answered.

“Ne, I’ll be there in half an hour. Wait for me.” I ended our conversation.

She’s one of the coolest girls I’ve ever known. I met her after our first concert in Seoul. She is a big fan of my husky voice-according to her. Because of that time circumstances I have to accompany her for a while. And in that short amount of time I got to know her a little. And she’s a comfortable person to be around with. So I decided to be friend with her and ask for her contact number. Fortunately I am a good character judge and she never bring any trouble to me or my other member. In fact they also enjoy her company. Sometimes she’ll came over, visit us at our dorm; bring us foods or even cooks for us some other time. She’s not like other fangirls. She sees me as a person, not an idol; be my friend and sometimes be my cute dongsaeng. I am comfortable around her. I can be myself; my silly, crazy self, nothing to hide and no expectation to meet. I just finished our comeback stage practice when I received her call. She sounds like she needs my help. I wonder what it is that bother her mind.

She smiles at me as I enter the coffee shop we promised to meet at. I smiled back, my most genuine smile. My smile turns into a big foolish grin as I seated across her at the table. She handed me a cup of my favorite coffee, mocha.

“What has been bothering you dear?” I asked her after I sipped my mocha. She just waves a bitter smile at me before looks down at her lap and mutters “What makes you think something bothering me?”

That’s it, her sad expressions. I know this one well enough to know what is exactly has bothering her.

“It’s him, am I right?” I asked her and then keep silent, waiting for her answer.

Her tears pool and she’s about to cry. Suddenly I felt guilty. Did I cause that tears; foolish thought come across my mind. No. It’s not because of me. My rational mind comforts me. I grab her hand and squeeze tenderly. Try to let her know she has my support through all of this. She started to sobbed. Tiny little sobs.

 I get up from my seat and went across the table, pull another chair beside her and pull her into my embrace. Hoping my broad shoulder could give her some warmth and comfort her hurt heart. I rub her back slowly, loving motion. I really do hope she can feel my love through these simple actions. Honestly as a man I don’t know how to comfort hurt heart. We men just don’t know how. She snuggles closer to my warm chest. I can feel my front shirt starts to wet from her dripping tears. I her hair slowly. I don’t know what for; maybe I hope her burdened thought would fall down with my each . If it is really that simple, then we human are very lucky.

She parted us apart and looks at my worried face. “Oppa, how come you understand me so well?” she smiled before speaks shyly “I like it when I don’t even have to say or ask for things and you already giving it to me; give me what I really needs. Calmed my messy thoughts and burdened heart.” She hugged me tighter after finished her sentences.

I just shook my head and say “Ya, I can’t read your mind but your facial expressions just like books to me, and it’s like our heart has been connected through telepathy. I just know this is what you need the most right now. Feels better now? Did he hurt you again? Want me to go and talk to him?” I asked her and she just shook her head.

“Today, he asked me to come back to him,” she hesitated for a while before continue pouring her mind out, “I don’t even understand why. This is not the first time he acted like this. Previously he’ll just ignore my texts and calls when he suddenly bored of me. I don’t know what he’s doing behind me though. This is the first time I walked on his deeds and I started to wonder did he did this all those time he bored of me. Am I a boring person oppa?”

Every word that came out from her pink lips stabs my heart like a dagger. I don’t even know why it hurts so much watching her suffer. Is it something wrong with my heart? I just feel I want to beat that guy senseless. But he’s my friend though. It’s not my place to pick sides now. I should act more like a buffer. Try my best to help them see how deep their love for each other is. The biggest problem is both of them either too blind to see or to stupid not to admit and committed to their love, their soul-mate. What should I tell her? Deep sigh is the only thing I could express right now. Don’t exactly know how to settle this situation.

“Ailee..” I call her and she looks at me. I smile and said, “Do you really think you wants me to answer those questions? Am I the right person to answers that? Or am I the one you wants to hear the answers from?” I just wanted her to think again the necessity of the questions to be answered and who really should answer that question in order for her to make a right decision, the best decision.

She looks outside the glass of the shop and start to think. Sometimes she pouted her lips; maybe disagree with her heart or her mind, some other time she just nodded and some other time she will shrug her shoulder. Maybe she thinks too much, or maybe this matter is just too hard for her to handle alone. I don’t know. This is her first love anyway. There’s nothing more I could do to help her.

“Ya Ailee.” I called her try to drag her out from her thoughts. She looks at me and makes ‘why disturbed me while I’m thinking’ face. I just smiled and said “It’s getting late. Let’s go home. Your parents will be worried and I have early schedule tomorrow.” I stand up as I finished my sentence. She nodded and pack up her stuff. We walked to my car and I drove her home, wait for her to safely enter her house and drove back to my dorm.

“Ah, I had a long day” I sigh and drive in silent, listening to my favorites song in my car.