CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Realigning The Lost Stars.Late Valentine.
LATE FEB 2012
CHANGMIN'S POV.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Placing a hand over my heart, I rubbed my chest gingerly as I fought to push away the unsettling feeling that has been lingering within me the entire day. Exhaling a shaky breath, I took a sip of my chilled orange juice as I gazed absentmindedly at the Tokyo skyline from the glass window of the living room, watching more of the tiny squares lit up as the sky gradually darken. I was unnerved to say the least, whole entire being was tingling in the bad way; the feeling comparable to a sensation of having ants crawling under my skin. It has been ages since my sixth sense picked up anything, the last time it had was about three years ago; the night where Yunho hyung...
It happened so quickly that I barely had any time to register anything. A sudden twitch in my eye and the next thing I knew, the glass slipped from my grasp onto the wooden floor, shattering into a million tiny sparking crystals, narrowly missing my feet thanks to the bedroom slipper. With a sigh, I crouched down onto the floor to clean up the mess when I heard hurried heavy footsteps towards the living room, "Min-ah! Are you okay?!"
Distracted by the older man's shout, I pricked my forefinger on one of the broken glass pieces.
"Shoots, you're bleeding! I'll get you a Band-Aid. Stop picking up the glass pieces, I'll just use the broom to clean it up. Don't move!"
Feeling oddly tired, I obeyed Yunho's words without any protests, letting out another sigh as I remained squatting on the floor. I watched silently as Yunho returned less than a minute later, nimbly dressing my little cut before clearing up my mess of broken glass, ice cubes and juice.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
I was so out of it that I jumped a few inches off the ground before I stared into the concerned eyes of my leader. "I--" How do I answer his question when I myself wasn't sure on what basis is my ill-boding feeling stemming from? How do I tell him that the last time I felt such premonition cost me three brothers and a future so different from what I envisioned it to be since our debut days?
"I-I don't know. Nothing much, just one of the days where I'm being all silly and paranoid."
At my answer, Yunho merely gave an affable smile as he ruffled my hair affectionately and for the briefest second, it was almost like seeing the old Yunho hyung again- the one whom wasn't broken by the tremendous burden on his shoulders nor the one resembling a lonely soul bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders but the happy, wise and charismatic leader that basks gloriously in the love of his four supportive beloved brothers...
"Come on, let's go out for dinner today. Let's treat it as a belated valentine treat for my dearest baby maknae. How does snow crab sound?" teased Yunho, a knowing glint in his eyes, well-aware of my immerse love for crab.
"Sounds good." smiling as I stood up, allowing myself to be babied by my hyung for the night; a warm comforting sensation so painfully familiar yet utterly foreign all the same.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THAT SAME NIGHT.
SEOUL, KOREA.
YOONA'S POV.
Sitting alone on my bed, I fiddled with the buttons of my navy blue coat, vaguely acknowledging that the quietness of my room was a contrast to the din in the living room.
"Am I considered to be one of those terrible women that string their admirers along?" self-questioning myself as I plunged deeper into my sea of thoughts, drowning myself a little more with each second passed. My mind was working on overdrive as I reminisced the little things between a particular idol and I. For the past six months, Jiyong was ever the perfect gentleman. Yes, we've been meeting on a fairly regularly basis whenever our schedules permits; quick lunch and dinners, going out as friends and nothing more. Sometimes, we have them in the company of others (usually Big Bang and/or Soshi) but more often than not, it was just us two as time passed.
In the complete opposite to his flamboyant stage image, Jiyong is someone who likes to keep his private life, for the lack of better word, private; another trait of his that I've grown to like. Whatever that happens, stays between us- one of the key reasons as to why apart from Soshi, not many of my SM peers knew that the famous GDragon was in actual fact courting me in his own subtle manner. It was easier to deal with the aftermath of his confession without anyone breathing down my neck or guilt-tripping me into accepting him. True to his words, Jiyong has never once pressurized me nor brought up anything to do with his romantic feelings for me in the past half a year; if I wanted to stay as friends, friends we shall be. He respected me completely and gave me the full rein to dictate how far our 'relationship' would go; friends or lovers, all entirely up to me. No pressure, no nothing, na-da.
In all honesty, I thought that friendship was all I had to offer at the start of our budding friendship, but somewhere in time, the line started to blur... Was it just because I've been spending more time with him? Or was it something more? It was easy to be with him, comfortable even; all the joking and teasing... but yet I've not accepted him... Why? Was it stemming from the fear of our incompatibility? Perhaps it was the fear of meeting his rowdier hip hop-ish group of friends (which I've to admit, they intimidate me since I rarely hang out with such crowds). Or maybe it was living up to the expectation of being the GDragon's girlfriend? But if I like him, shouldn't our feelings for each other matter the most? Or could it be that I...
"Penny for your thoughts?"
I jerked my head up with a start, surprised by the voice that sliced through my train of thoughts.
"Hey Yul." Taking the Yuri's hand with a soft smile as she settled comfortably beside me.
"Spill, what's going on in that head of yours."
"I--"
Where do I start? How do I begin? How do I put all my plaguing thoughts into words when my thoughts are all jumbled up? How do I explain to Yuri what my feelings are when I wasn't sure myself? The growing affection for Jiyong... Is a platonic or a romantic one? Sure, there had been moments where my heart went all pitter patter at the sight of Jiyong; like a high school student meeting her crush... but yet, why couldn't I shake the nagging sensation of something not 'right' despite how 'right' being with Jiyong feels? Almost as if there was something holding me back subconsciously, something I couldn't pinpoint...
"Is it about Jiyong?"
I frowned slightly to myself, questioning if I was that easy of a book to read these days.
"It's not you. My mind-reading skills is derived from years of being with you. I've reached the stage where I could guess what mischievous acts you might be up to with just a tiny gesture from you." chuckled Yuri, poking my sides for a good measure.
"Yul, what should I do?" exhaling a troubled sigh as I leaned onto the shoulder of the athletic beauty. Like the wonderful listening ear she has always been, Yuri listened patiently as I verbalized my thoughts; never judging, just listening as I ranted, occasionally coaxing the particularly tangled thoughts out of me.
"I think you should give him a chance." stated Yuri after a brief silence as she contemplated how to structure her words.
"I mean, it's clear that you feel something for him and what better way to figure out your feelings for him by getting together with him? You're already comfortable with him, might as well take the leap of faith and see how far this 'relationship' will go. And as horrible this is going to sound, if things don't work out, you can just break things up with him. Hey, don't give me that face, I'm speaking the truth! I mean, yes, Jiyong likes you but sometimes liking someone is different from sustaining a relationship. Who knows, maybe this will provide you two the opportunity to see if you guys are fated to be together as lovers. If not, at least you've tried and there won't be any regrets or what ifs and you two can just revert back to being friends."
I hummed in response to Yuri's advice, pondering over her words. "Is that really the right thing to do?"
Releasing a heavy breath, I pulled away from Yuri not before giving the latter a tight hug, "I need to go now or else I'll be late in meeting Jiyong again. Thanks for everything earlier Yul, I don't know what I'll do without you."
With a cherry wave, I left my room only to be halted by a grip on my forearm by Sooyoung whom stood a few steps away from the room, wearing a troubled expression on her face. "Unnie..."
I watched worryingly at Sooyoung biting on her lower lip as she struggled to find the right words, having some sort of internal battle within her. "Soo--"
"Yoong, just... just do whatever that makes you happy, whatever your heart think its right." said Sooyoung ambiguously before giving me a smile that I recognized to be one that Sooyoung wears whenever she is hiding something.
"Unn--"
"Omo, look at the time! You need to hurry now! Go go! Before you're late again!" exclaimed the latter in an overly-enthusiastic manner, knowing that I've caught onto her, practically shoving me down the hallway and towards the door.
I frowned slightly at the door which Sooyoung had basically slammed into my face after screaming her goodbyes, making a mental note to question Sooyoung about her dubious behaviour when I get back home before proceeding to the elevator of the building, heading off to where I was meeting my 'dinner-date'.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
SOOYOUNG'S POV.
I stared apologetically at the door that I shut right in Yoona's face after wrestling the deer out of the apartment, the guilt twisting my insides into knots. My act was a panic triggered response on my part knowing that Yoona had caught on that I'm keeping something from her... Something that I've sworn secrecy to.
It was a week back when Kyuhyun had accidently let it slipped regarding about his suspicions on Changmin's feelings for Yoona when we were chilling in one of SM's practice room. I squealed for a good ten minutes, overjoyed at the prospect of ChangYoon. I mean, can you believe it?! Changmin, ONE OF MY IDOL OPPAS *Coughs* Yes, I'm still a Cassie. Though I do it discreetly now since I've an image to keep up. *Coughs* TOGETHER WITH YOONA! YOONA! MY PRECIOUS SISTER THAT I LOVE SO SO SO MUCH. KYAHHHH!!!
It was almost like a fangirl dream coming true! That would explain this look that only appears on Changmin whenever Yoona is in view, I can't believe I hadn't realized till Kyuhyun brought it up! To think that I've passed it off as something non-romantic! And, I was almost certain that there was a good chance that Yoona might return his feelings, buried feelings that might take some time to unearth... Omo omo omo. I went as far as daydreaming their wedding day; Yoona in an strapless ivory dress (the whole deal with the long train and princess tiaria resting on her head), the very definition of a goddess while Changmin stood next to her in his sleek black suit, looking dashing as he gazed lovingly at Yoong... Only to have the dream come crushing down as reality sets in.
Changmin and Yoona hasn't met up in the longest time, there was simply no time for their usual food hunts amidst their hectic schedules respectively. It was almost as if fate was having a go at them as well, determined to bring their private time together to a bare minimum; when Yoona was in Japan, Changmin would be in Korea, vice versa. There was barely sufficient time for them to have a decent chat face-to-face, much less the opportunity to allow the sparks between to fly, allowing them to figure out their potential feelings for the other. And if that wasn't enough, there was still the issue of GDragon. Fate definitely has a wicked sense of humor for it seems like the time that Yoona could have spent with Changmin was given to Jiyong instead. Even if Yoona had proclaimed countless of times that they were just friends, I could see the falter in her conviction recently; like she was trying to convince herself than us. I had been glad initally, to see Jiyong working his way into Yoona's heart but now that I know of Changmin's potential feelings... Is it selfish of me that I'm rooting for my label-mate instead?
I was incredibly tempted to barge into the room as I overheard Yuri's and Yoona's conversation, to tell Yoona about Kyuhyun's suspicions but I couldn't... My promise to Kyu aside, who am I tell Yoona of Changmin's feeling when the man himself hasn't made sense of his feelings just yet? The last thing I want to do is to stop Yoona in having a shot in finding her own happiness over someone who just might like her, to raise her hopes only to disappoint her in the end. Besides, I doubt that Yoona will actually take the news of Changmin liking her well...
Being a by-stander in this love triangle, it seems that the only thing I could do is to watch silently from the sidelines, hoping for the best in this game of twisted fate.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
JIYONG'S POV.
I shot my brooding companion a worried look as we made our way down the empty street. Dinner was a quiet affair; my first clue that something was bothering Yoona. The spacey distant look in her eyes was another dead giveaway as well. Concerned, I attempted to get her to share her troubles, only for the beauty to get all flustered, insisting that nothing was wrong and that everything was as great as it can be. I wasn't even remotely convinced but I knew not to probe, giving Yoona her personal space. I glanced at Yoona once more from the corner of my eyes and my lips couldn't help to quirk up into a small smile at the sight of Yoona pursing her lips, her brows meeting in the center as she dwelled in her thoughts.
"She looks so adorable with her face all scrunched up. Hehehe."
And it was like falling in love with her all over again.
I didn't know how or when it had happened. I was just leisurely drinking with my boys when the sudden epiphany hit me; I was in love with her. The great GDragon fell for a beautiful doe. For the past six months, I kept my silence, never mentioning anything about my feelings or anything about the confession for I wanted her to be comfortable around me. Her well-being and feelings were the priority and I vowed that I would take the next step only if she wanted it. Having her around me as a friend beats having her becoming all awkward around me or running away at the sight of me as though I'm sort of monster and I was contented enough with my lot. But some time in this past six months, my affection for Yoona grew and manifested into something that had caught me off guard; love. The notion had both scared and surprised me, I didn't know it was possible to feel so strongly towards someone in such a short span of time nor had I planned for this to happen! Not to mention, how much it's going to hurt at the end of the road knowing that Yoona is probably never going to...
Wait.
Is that... But it couldn't be...
My heart was thundering rapidly against my ribcage as I slowly trailed my eyes down my right arm, and there it was; a warm smooth hand with manicured nails holding onto mine with the slightest pressure. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I realized what had just happened, Yoona took the intiative to hold my hand. MY HAND! I stared at my companion with a mix of curiosity and wonder, noting how bashful the latter was as she kept her face hidden in those beautiful long locks of hers. Does that mean...?
Mistaking my silence, Yoona attempted to pull her hand away from mine, "Sorry, I didn't know what got into me. You might not feel the same way as you had since that night and here I am doing--"
Smiling, I cut off her babble by intertwining our fingers together, firmly locking her hands with mine, chuckling a little when the surprised deer gave a soft "Oh!" at my action.
"Not that I'm unhappy about it, but why the sudden act?" I questioned softly as I gently brush my thumb against her index finger.
"I was talking to Yuri earlier and I figured that I owe it to us to give this a shot, to see where we would go from here."
I smiled even more at her answer, she was willing to give me... us a chance! Making a mental note to thank Yuri profusely the next time I see her, I continued staring at my date whom in return was staring at our intertwined fingers in fascination, as though she was still coming to terms with the fact that we were indeed holding hands like a regular couple on a date.
"Are you sure about this Yoona?" I asked, giving her the last chance to back out of this. As much as I loved the idea of us being together, I didn't want her to regret or feel like she was forced into this.
She paused in her stride as she contemplated over my words and with that, my heart stopped beating for a fraction for a second. She was going to regret this wasn't she?
Looking up to meet my eyes, she gave a small smile in return, "Leap of faith right? Let's do this... dating."
My heart swelled in size as warmth blossomed within me, "How on earth did I get so lucky?"
I gazed into her eyes that were shining with life, mesmerized by her beauty under the pale moonlight. "Is she really mine?"
Like a puppet controlled by the strings of its master, my body moved on its own accord; lifting her chin with the forefinger of my free hand. I watched as her eyes fluttered close as I lowered my head, pressing my lips gently onto hers for a chaste first kiss.
Fireworks exploded the moment our lips met, and that's when I found the answer to the question I had earlier, "Yes. Im Yoona is officially mine... Kwon Jiyong's baby girl. I don't wanna let her go, ever."
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Annyeong Yoroboon!
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08/12/17: Yes, it’s a legitimate chapter update. Trust me, I’m as surprised as you are. Enjoy!! :))
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