I'm unhappy. Yes, that's because of the amount of upvotes I'm getting. For those who have already upvoted, thank you once again. For those who haven't but are also reading, I really dislike you because you are not crediting me for my effort.

So, I'm sorry to my loyal readers(those who upvoted and comment regularly). This is going to be the last update, until I see a reasonable increase in upvotes. Please blame it on those selfish ones.

As for the comments for the previous chapter, I will reply to them when I update again(although I don't know when that will be. If you want an update sooner then give me credit for it).

Thank you.  

This chapter will continue in first person narrative, from kyuhyun's perspective. The soundtrack for this chapter is The Way To Break Up, by Kyuhyun.



I closed my eyes but even though I was dizzy and feverish, I couldn't fall asleep. 

Too many things were running in my mind, and I don't know what to do or what I should do from now on.  

"because I was in love with somebody else."

The sentence kept replaying in my head, almost making me go crazy.

Why hadn't I notice before?

 The immediate concern and full attention hyukjae would always give donghae whenever the latter had any complaints. Those times when hyukjae kept stealing glances at donghae, during our Super Show performances, practices and even when we were dining together. Those bright smiles that made hyukjae's eyes form small crescents were reserved only for donghae hyung. Those intimate skinship on and off screen, they couldn't be faked.

All these should have served as a warning for me. 

But I was too blind to see. Too blinded by my love for him. 

Groaning, I buried my face in the sheets.

I hate this. This was so unfair. I poured my everything for this relationship, I tried to be perfect for hyukjae. But what is this? What did I do to deserve such ending? Why am I the person losing everything? Am I not good enough to be loved?

My eyes burned and I fisted the bedsheets in frustration and disappointment. Tears fell uncontrollably, wetting the sheets beneath me. 

Why is it like this? Why is that whenever I come so close to getting happiness, I would somehow lose it?

It was like this back then, when everyone finally accepted me as part of Super Junior, and I finally do not have to walk on eggshells around everybody, then I had gotten into an accident that almost killed me. Then now, just when I thought my 7 year long one-sided love could finally have a good ending, then I find out that I never really had a chance in the first place.

Do I really not deserve to be happy?

The fever was making me feel hot and cold at the same time. Shivering, I wrapped myself up with my blankets. Then suddenly, a wave of fatigue overwhelmed me, and I felt myself slipping into unconciousness.

When I was in and out of conciousness, I felt a warm hand against cheek and I leaned into it involuntarily, seeking the warmth that I haven't felt for so long. The hand my face gently and carefully, and I felt safe and treasured. It was a pleasant feeling.

The next day, I rested in the dorm, and when Junghoon hyung dropped by to visit me, he scolded me for not taking good care of myself. He noticed my puffy eyes, and asked me what's wrong. Then I found myself in his arms, pouring all my woes to him. I knew why I wanted to seek comfort in Junghoon hyung- it was because he was the only one who understood me, the only one who knew how much I sacrificed for hyukjae, and the only one who stood by me when I almost left Super Junior months ago. And thankfully, I manage to gain some strength after spending a long time talking to him.

Even though I haven't fully recovered, I was back with the team on the second day. When I stepped into the familiar practice room, I was attacked by an entire bunch of  overconcerned hyungs who were all over me in a blink of an eye. 

"Kyuhyunnie! Are you okay now? Do you know how worried I was when I heard them say you fainted?", kangnin hyung pulled