Luhan didn’t know whether it was the cold breeze from winter time that was finally returning or he just felt slightly feverish that night. After arriving home at 6.00 pm, he entered the house with a heavy heart after Xiumin told him about what happened to him in the sick bay. Luhan loathed his coward self even more when he recalled back what Xiumin told him.

“I asked her to look after you for a short while. But she left early. She was probably busy, but she still made time for you, you know.”

“I heard you,” Luhan breathed heavily. “You’ve ben repeating the same thing to me since I first woke up. Thanks for the lift anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Luhan threw his backpack on the couch and, without having any appetite to eat, he headed upstairs right away and locked himself away in the room.

He was not feeling comfortable with his body, but he didn’t feel like taking any shower now. He crashed into his bed and forced himself to sleep.

He wanted to escape the pain he felt in heart, and mind, and all over his body, so if sleeping at 7.00 pm could do it, then the hell with it.

⊙ω⊙

The next morning, Luhan woke up with a heavy head and a blurry vision. He squinted, and rubbed his eyes hard before finally threw his gaze around his room. Luhan scratched his head, and tossed out his feet forward and got up from the bed. He felt like skipping class today.

Luhan shuffled across his room towards the window. He bent over, and tilted his head slightly for any sign of Chorong. It’s been awhile since he last stalked Chorong. He retreated after feeling disappointed of the absence of Chorong.

He missed her, a lot.

Luhan turned and walked towards the bathroom next, but his steps stopped halfway and returned to his bed when he heard his phone rang.

“Hello, mom,” Luhan cleared his throat,

“Hello, son, How are you doing? I hope you’re managing fine on your own.”

“I am, mom,” Luhan urged. “Don’t worry about me. How are you doing? And dad? And what about grampa? Is there any change? I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday. My coach insisted me to play right away and I totally forgot to call you last night.”

“It’s okay, son,” Tianyu said kindly. “I understand. Just don’t hurt yourself. Your dad and I are just fine. And grampa- well, the doctor says his brain activity is still normal and active, so he advises us to keep talking to him to wake him up. He’s in a deep sleep where no one else can help him get up but himself. We’re all doing our best to communicate with him, so it’s all up to him now.”

“That’s very relieving to hear, mom.” Luhan rubbed at his cheek. “Don’t overwork yourself. And tell dad to take a rest sometimes. Seeing him tired and lifeless drives me nuts.”

“It drives me nuts too,” Tianyu paused for a moment, mentally bracing herself for the real reason she made was call to Luhan that morning. “Luhan,” she eventually continued. “I need to ask you something.”

“Yes mom?” Luhan then sat down on his bed after a couple of minutes standing up.

“Did you have a fight with dad- about the plan to stay in China?”

Luhan paused, and nodded as he went saying, “Kinda. I don’t know what to say, actually. Everything happened too fast, and before I knew it, I had to walk out on him. I’m sorry, mom. I got pretty mad. Why didn’t you guys include me in the discussion?”

“Son, we didn’t mean to leave you out of this. Your father was merely expressing his feelings, and I was more than ready to support him.”

“Oh. Okay,” Luhan exhaled. “I mean, I’m glad that he starts to change, but maybe I need time to adapt myself to that change. I don’t know. I don’t see China as my home. I know I was born there, but I have spent my entire life here, and when dad said to move back to China because we belong there, I feel cheated. My whole life is here. How can he expect me to leave all this- I was quite shocked, really.”

“Luhan,” Tianyu sighed. “I don’t want you to be there, alone, but I also want you to have what you want. We’re trying not to be selfish, but maybe you can learn to love China and accept any new change. You can stay in Korea if you want- but I would love to have my whole family here with me.”

“Mom,” Luhan said gently. “Can you give some time to think about it? I don’t plan on leaving you guys alone, trust me, but I need some time to really think things over.”

“Of course, Luhan. We just want what’s best for our family. I wish you could understand that.”

“I know mom,” Luhan swallowed bitterly. “I really do.”

⊙ω⊙

Chorong spaced out again when she turned to her right side and threw her look outside the window to the library. It was very windy outside. The leaves swayed, grazing against one another as te wind kept battering towards them. Chorong felt sad suddenly, as her mind was drifted back into her childhood memories. It was a day like this when the police officer with the blackest moustache towered over her and told her to be strong.

“I’m sorry, dear,” he said in the gentlest tone, but the expression he put on was bothering Chorong just the same. “Your mom got into an accident.”

Chorong was too spazzed for the news that she blamed her ears for not being functional of the sound of his hoarse voice.

“I’m sorry?” she remembered asking. “What were you saying?”

Chrong took in some air and continued with her revision. That was an old story, and it meant to stay in the past. She pushed back her chair, and the screeching sound startled Bomi, who was sitting across her.

“Are you done?” Bomi asked in curiously, glancing shortly over her watch. “It’s not even 3.00 o’clock.”

“No,” Chorongg smiled sweetly, covering up her trembling lips from her friend. “I just want to put this book back.”

“Oh! You’re done with that?” Bomi then gave her a toothy grin. “Can I have that now?”

“Yeah, sure,” Chorong stuttered and handed her the thick journal. “I’ll be right back. I wanna go find some books to read.”

“Okay,” Bomi nodded quickly.

Chorong walked past the aisles and finally made a stop at the green wooden racks. The green color indicated ‘non-fiction’ whilst the wooden racks meant the books are non-reference and can be borrowed. Chorong walked inside and studied the highly-stacked thick novels around her. She was amazed for awhile, feeling ecstatic at the smell of old books.

She drew her hand and traced her thumb against the thick spines and began mouthing the titles softly.

Till Our Last Breath

Occupied

Unending Journey

Small Steps

Our Make-Believe

Chrong smiled shortly and raised her hand higher to reach for the last spine she touched; A Chinese Potter, a title she felt very intimately drawn into. Chorong tried to fish out the book but the crammed arrangement almost made her effort worthless. Chorong tiptoed, only beginning to realize that the book was positioned quite high above her, and somehow, pulling the book out managed to push the book deeper into the rack. Chorong wanted to give up, but another hand from behind seemed to be pulling out the book instead, easily.

She turned around, and was surprised when the hand owner handed her the book.

“Here,” Luhan said, and the impassive expression he had made her wonder if their argument the other night ever took place.

“What are you doing here?” Chorong asked abruptly, ignoring the book that was hanging weakly before her eyes.

Luhan drew his hands down, and clutched tightly around the spine that his knuckles tuned white. “My coach said I have some off-day for two days.”

“So?”

“So,” Luhan tried answering despite the stinging cut he felt from Chorong’s cold response. “I thought of borrowing some books from the library. I wanna kill some time.”

“Okay,” Chorong raised her brows cynically. She gave him a small nod before turning her back on him.

“Chorong wait!” Luhan quickly grabbed Chorong’s hand, and it ceased her foot movement.

Choorong turned around, clearly startled from Luhan’s bold gesture.

“What?” She asked, shaking Luhan’s hand off. “My friend’s waiting for me.”

“Weren’t you going to read this book?” Luhan handed A Chinese Potter book to her, waiting for her to take it.

“No,” she blurted out, and walked away.

Luhan sighed heavily, knowing too well he deserved what he just received.

⊙ω⊙

Xiumin wiped his sweat away with a face towel and hung it around his neck. He sat back, hugging his two spread-apart knees. The practice for that day just ended but Luhan and Xiumin decided to stay behind.

“Are you really sure about that?” Xiumin asked slightly in a low tone.

“I don’t know,” Luhan shrugged. “Maybe.”

“What do you mean ‘maybe’? This is a pretty big thing and I can’t have you being indecisive about this matter. You might regret thins later, and before you know it, it’s already too late to turn things around.”

“I don’t know,” Luhan spat as he raked through his brown hair, looking troubled and insecure. “I wanted to stay, but my whole family is in China. What makes you think I should just stay here?”

“Dude,” Xiumin said gently. “I’m not gonna make you stay. I want you to stay if you want to stay. But, if you have to leave, I’ll support you anyway. C’mon dude, we’ve been friends since like our first grade, and I don’t want to be clingy on you, but you should know that I’m not alright with you leaving Korea for good, but if things have to be that way, then, whatever dude, I’ll support you.”

“Thanks dude,” Luhan offered a fist and Xiumin bumped it with a slight grin. “I really need that.”

“So,” Xiumin drawled as he fixed his gaze on Luhan.”How are you going to break this news to Chorong?”

Luhan sighed, holding Xiumin’s gaze hopelessly. “I don’t know, man,” he finally said. “I really don’t know. I mean, she avoided me, she was being super cold with me, and it scared me a lot when I think that maybe she won’t ever accept me in her life- even as a friend.”

“You can’t give up now,” Xiumin shoved Luhan slightly. “You’ve come too far to quit. Don’t be afraid of things that are yet to happen. Besides you don’t even know how she will react to this. Be a ing man and just tell her straightly.”

Luhan shut his mouth in a tight line and raised his brows slightly. “I can try.”

“You have to.”

“I honestly don’t deserve her. She’s way too good for me.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

Luhan sighed and smiled at his best friend. “Thanks dude. I mean that.”

…

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