A months after our continuous meeting, we becomes beyond close. Just like couple. We met every weekend at town. Catch up everything we missed during the year we didn’t see each other. Talking like there are nothing wrong at first. We messages and calls each other every time like lovers. If we have nothing to says, we would say nothing but still stay on the line. I admit I loved it, but most of the time I feel sinned.

Jiyong and Chearin are long ago separated. It’s been nine months already. I know it from Jiyong when I jealously joke about him and Chearin been couple since like forever. That’s when he revealed he is no longer in relationship with anybody.

I feel sinned because I blame myself. I think I am the one who cause this happened. I think if I didn’t befriend with Jiyong at that time, he will not distracted in his relationship. Eventhough he is the one who hold out his hand for friendship but I am the one who decide to accept it.

Bom still have no knowledge about our meeting. She didn’t know anything and I didn’t tell her any about it. I’m afraid she will judge me. I afraid she will say something that would hurt me. I know I’m playing with fire. Yeah. Fire. Because loves for me is something that would burned you at the end. At first you’ll indeed loves to see the burning light. It would looks stunning in your eyes. You would feel embraced by the warm. Eventually, the closer you with the fire, it would cruelly burnt your skins till it makes you becomes ashes.

I know it dangerous, but right now, I am stunned with the glowing lights and flames, even willingly held out my hands towards it. Yes. I am bewitched. And I don’t care the consequence at the end. I just want to be with him for now because that is how mad I’m in love with him. I promise to accept my punishment for being this selfish. For lying to my best friend and for breaking my promise to Chearin. I will get my punishment quietly and I won’t complaint for it. I promise.

I am too happy with my own little life right now. Bom is every now and then keep pestering me telling her what happen to my sudden mood changes. But I never told her. Much to my dismay, with her wild-kitten-instinct, she able to sniff me. “You got yourself a boyfriend?” One day she asks me bluntly. Damn that animalistic instinct she has!

“Wh-what?” – “You’re stammering when you are nervous or lying Dara-ah. Now spill it.” She says with a tone that has a hidden meaning which is speak-before-I-choke-you-till-death. And that is enough giving me a stiff neck. I shifted uncomfortably on my seat. Wondering to tell or not.

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