“Stop stalking him already,” Hana says as she tilts her head to the side, copying her friend Luna as Luna glances behind a stone wall, looking at a group of boys and girls together from afar. “He’s going to think that you’re weird or something.”

Luna breathes out. “But I’m not. I’m a maiden in love.”

“Well, I have to go now.” She turns around only to get pulled back. “Yeah?”

“Already?” Luna inquires fearfully. “But-but…” She needs and wants her best friend to be by her side so that she will not feel alone.

“You’ll be fine. Today’s the day before spring break, so make the best of it.” Hana hugs her friend and then walks away backwards. “I have to be at my sister’s house in an hour, so I’m going to leave now.” As she waves, she trips over a ledge from the sidewalk and would have almost busted her head open had it not been for someone who didn’t get her in time. “Thank you,” she says.

“Oh, Hana!”

Hana heaves a heavy and irritated sigh. She doesn’t have to look up at the person because she knows whose ecstatic, high-pitched, and goofy voice it belongs to. She stands up with a bit of his help and checks her feet. She tries to swing her hand away from the person holding it, but she can’t. Fearing that she’ll be late to her kids, she exclaims, “Will you please let go, Luhan ssi?”

“Let’s go karaoke together,” the helper, Luhan, says.

“No, thank you,” she quickly snaps.

“Why not?”

“I’m busy.”

Luhan furrows his brows together. “You always say that, Hana.”

“Don’t call me like you know me personally, please.”

“Okay, that’s if you go with me.”

Hana looks at their intertwined hands. “Let go.”

He finally does so and smiles to her. “Hey, it’s my last day here, so let’s go celebrate. Don’t worry. A whole group of people are going.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she unintentionally cheerfully asks, “You’re really leaving South Korea next month?”

Word has it that Luhan’s father has been preparing for his son’s education to be somewhere in Europe so that Luhan can follow in his father’s footsteps as a biologist, since the eldest son is an intern in the law field. Therefore, this year is Luhan’s last year in South Korea.

When Hana heard of this, she didn’t think much but was quite happy because he’d get to travel, explore, and experience new things outside of Japan, whereas she will most likely be stuck here for who knows how many years. What scares her is that she’ll only be experienced in babysitting babies and nothing else.

And for the two previous years that she has known him—more like passing by him here and there because they’ve never had classes together—he has been nothing, but an irritating guy who doesn’t even know her yet acts like he does. This year, because the girl he’s rumored to be dating with is in her class, he’s been coming over from the next two classroom doors down. Not only that, but Luna’s crush is Luhan’s best friend, so whenever she follows Luna stalking Lay, she will occasionally bump into Luhan.

It’s not that she doesn’t like him or has something against him, she’s learned and has been told to never mess with people who are dangerous, and after witnessing several actions that she dislikes from Luhan, she has put him in that category and vows to never get close to him. It would work even better if he knew that she doesn’t want anything to do with him at all.

“That’s great that you know!” Luhan exclaims as he reaches for her hand again. “Let’s—”

When Hana sees the hands of her wristwatch, she pulls her hand away and she gasps. “I’ve got to go!” She dashes without saying goodbye to him, leaving him in utter shock.

*

Upon opening the door to her house, no one is in the living room to greet her.

“Mom? Dad?” She asks in the lonely living room.

I’ll leave them a note about going to Yuri’s place tonight. As she passes to her room in the hallway, she hears her parents’ voices from their bedroom. They’re home. But she doesn’t like how they sound. They’re arguing?

She knows it’s rude, but curiosity gets the best of her. She slowly heads up to her parents’ bedroom door and presses her left ear onto it.

“I say give her a year before we hastily make this decision,” Mrs. Kim says, almost begging.

“A year?” Mr. Kim questions in astonishment. “She finished school today, so we can transfer her out now.”

Hana removes herself away from the door in surprise and whispers, “They’re talking about me? I-I’m going to transfer school?” Wanting to hear more, she goes back to listening.

“…married at fifteen, become a teenage mother, or worse, do drugs!” Mr. Kim heatedly and hastily lists. “I am not going to rely on the hope that our youngest daughter will not disappoint us. We had that faith in all our girls, and look at them now! None of them got into college and has a degree! We have to start watching over her because she’s a teen, and girls grow up fast.”

“Dear, transferring her now is too late already. We don’t have the time or the money and—”

“Let’s send her to your parents.”

“Huh?”

"They aren’t in the city, so maybe if she spends her teen years there, she’ll grow up to be respectful, responsible, and filial. She’ll be away from all the things we fear will happen to her.”

“No,” Mrs. Kim says. “I want her education to be first, and the countryside’s educational system isn’t as great as the cities here. They’re farther, and my parents won’t be able to control a feisty young adult if she turns out that way.” There is a long pause before she continues. “Let’s give her one year to see how she is. The moment she introduces a boyfriend or dyes her hair or goes against us, we can transfer her then.”

Hana can’t believe it. Her parents are comparing her unknown future to her older sisters’ lives. She takes slow, but steady, steps away from the door and tries to pace her breathing. She didn’t think her parents would believe that she’d end up like that. In fact, she’s never thought bad or looked down on her older sisters for the lives they have. They are her role models. They have lives that she wants when she grows up.

A happy, warm, joyful, and caring family.

In her room, she closes the door behind her and locks it. She’s trying her hardest to digest everything she’s heard, but they’re slowly eating her up. Her parents don’t want to be disappointed, but she’s the one disappointed in them. She’s their child, and how can they not have faith and trust in her? Why are they assuming that she’d make and commit all the same mistakes and faults as her older siblings?

They’re different individuals and have different lives. She’s nowhere near the gorgeous and radiant Suhoko, or the motherly and self-devoted wife Yuri, or the go-with-the-flow Becky.

She’s Hana.

She doesn’t want to brag it, but she’s hardworking. Understanding. Patient.

And if her parents think that she’s going to get knocked up, abuse drugs, or become someone else, they’re wrong. She has dreams. She has goals. Growing up and seeing firsthand of four different marriages, she’s virtually experienced the hardships of them and she knows that marriage is hard work and a commitment she’s not ready to obligate her entire life, body, and soul to.

But…why would her parents not believe in her?

No.

Why do her parents think that she’d follow her siblings’ footsteps? Didn’t they watch her grow up? Didn’t they raise her well? Aren’t children the product of what and how the parents raised them? If they didn’t believe her, does that mean that they don’t believe in their own childbearing ways?

What exactly did she do wrong?

Hana’s cell phone rings, and she flinches in response. She rummages through her backpack and sees that Yuri’s calling her. She answers the call.

“Hey, can you still make it today?”

Usually, she’d reply, “Yes!” and will happily get ready, but after what she’s heard, that energy and that joy are all gone. Instead, hurt overfills her. She can’t help but feel accused, betrayed, and angry that here she is, giving her all for someone else and getting the short end of the stick.

“Hana?” Yuri questions from the other end. “You there?”

“Yeah,” Hana answers. “Um…” for the first time, she wants to excuse herself from her babysitting duties, but she can’t find the courage and the will to do so. She had already promised her kids that she’d sleepover and bake cakes with them for their parents’ group gathering party. “…Yeah, I can.”

“Okay, see you then.”

As soon as they hang up, Hana’s eyes are filled with water and she rushes over to her bed. She’s never pitied herself before, and she cries to herself until it is time for her to leave.

*

Two weeks after the eavesdropping, Hana has never looked at her parents the same way and stops living life like usual. When she’s talking on the phone, going grocery shopping, or anything, she can sense eyes on her, noting down her every little action. It all started after she got back home from Yuri’s place and was questioned about her goals, her future, and her interests. She knew it was a verbal questionnaire her parents are trying to use to evaluate her so they can decide what’s best on how to deal with her. Even though she knew that, she answered seriously and honestly because she figures it’s the best thing to do.

Guess being honest wasn’t the right thing to do.

Matters become worse when Yuri comes over to visit and jokingly says to Hana, “Hey, you’re going to be in your last year of junior high, so you’re going to have a boyfriend soon, eh?”

Hana secretly glances at her father and caches the distraught expression from him. She quickly retorts, “No, I have no boyfriend and I have no time for one.” She hopes that’ll calm her father.

“Don’t be shy to tell us when you do. Teens these days are growing up so fast, you know.”

“Eonni,” Hana hastily interrupts. “I-I won’t have a boyfriend until I’m in my late twenties.”

“I used to think that too, but it didn’t work out for me.”

No use. Whatever Hana’s going to say to put her father at peace will only be backfired by her older sister’s comparisons, and she absolutely doesn’t need it. She politely excuses herself to her room and right before she turns a corner, she hears a whisper from Yuri to their mother.

“Mom, do you think she has had a boyfriend already?”

Hana stressfully heaves a sigh and enters her bedroom.

*

“Hello!” Luna pats Hana on the back with much excitement. “Guess what?”

“Yes, you and Lay are dating now,” Hana answers. Her friend informed her via a call about a week ago regarding her new relationship, and she has been calling every once in a while to repeat herself over the phone. “I’m really glad for you. Told you it’d work out.”

Luna throws her friend a smile. “Thanks. All that’s left is finding yourself a guy too, and our school life will be off to a great start!”

Finding myself a guy? Hana stops walking because an idea comes to her.

Why didn’t she think of this before? Her entire spring break consisted of trying to persuade that she’s a good daughter simply by overdoing her chores and putting more effort into watching her nieces and nephews. She should’ve known from the start that those duties weren’t what her parents were looking for. It was her school life that will make all the differences and changes.

“Hana?’ Luna asks again, waving a hand in front of her face. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing.” Behind Luna, Hana sees Lay and whispers, “Your boyfriend’s behind—what? He’s here?”