Final Chapter
The Ghost Of You
Kris woke up from his sleep, eyes still closed as he stretched under the covers, turning over to face the side of the bed where Tao would be sleeping peacefully. He'd had a strange dream, but none of it mattered. He had his Tao with him. And that's all he needed.
"Good morning," Kris began, opening his eyes to an empty bed. He sat up, looking around the room wondering where the younger had went. Hadn't Tao been laying with him just a few hours ago? Hadn't he cuddled with him and held his body in his arms? He could have sworn he had.
"Tao?" He called again, climbing out from under the covers and walking down the hall. He checked all the bedrooms, the bathroom and the kitchen, yet the younger was nowhere to be found. That's strange. He thought to himself, going over to where the car keys laid. Tao's were missing.
Then it all hit him.
Tao wasn't there.
He was dead.
He'd been killed in the car accident, dying only a few short minutes after he'd arrived at the hospital. He had been awake long enough to mumble his goodbyes to Kris and his mother before he slipped into death, saying he was sorry for leaving so early as he took his last breath.
Kris had screamed and cried, begging the younger to come back, but Tao never opened his eyes.
His whole body felt heavy as the realization fell on him like a ton of bricks. Kris felt sobs crawling up the back of his throat. He'd had that dream again. The dream that Tao had survived the accident and had only lost his memory. The dream that kept reoccurring every time the anniversary of his death came along. The dream that broke his heart every time he woke.
He'd been having this dream for over three years now, ever since Tao had died, and every time it would end, he never get to see the younger regain his memory. Tao would always look at him in a different way, always having to question his past. It was strange, the dream had been so real, almost as if it really happened. Yet I didn't.
Kris still woke up every morning, in an empty bed, broken hearted as usual. This was the realty he'd lived with. He never moved on like his friends told him to. He never lost his love for Tao. He couldn't be with other people, not when he'd given so much of himself to Tao. It was simply impossible.
He slowly forced himself to go to the bathroom and change his cloths, no matter how much he wanted to bury himself in the sheets and cry. It wasn't fair. Is simply wasn't fair. After changing his cloths and washing his face, he trudged down the stairs somewhat ready to face an empty kitchen, an empty house, and his empty heart.
~*~
Kris made his way through the cemetery, searching for his lover's grave. He needed to see Tao. He needed to talk to him about the dream again. He did this every time he had that dream, thinking that somehow it would make him feel better. Yet ever time he left, he left a little piece of his heart at Tao's grave.
No matter how many times he came, it would never get easier. He missed Tao more than anything and it killed him to have to visit the place where his love lied dead. Tao was his first and only love, his everything. On the day of the funeral he had kept saying that he couldn't bury Tao, because he would feel like that was truly his last goodbye.
"Hey, baby." He said. Sitting the flowers down. He slowly seated himself next to the grave stone, crossing his legs. The grave still looked nice, just like it had the day of the funeral. Green grass neatly trimmed, head stone washed and kept clean of grime and dirt. Kris had made sure that it would always look nice, wanting to have a beautiful place for Tao to rest.
"I had the dream again." He said, folding his hands in his lap. "It was a little funny this time. In the end, you remembered. Everything went back to the way it was." He'd sat on the grass many days and had this conversation with Tao. Maybe this time, he'd get an answer.
"It was nice." He said softly, bringing his knees up to his chest. "I never made it to the end. I always woke up before you ever truly remembered me." Tears began to sting his eyes, begging him to let them fall. He'd cried so much every time he visited, he hated to always cry in front of Tao.
It was quiet as Kris sat in silence, listening to the wind blow. The birds singing as they flew through the air, the sun shinning down, yet he felt no warmth. He had never felt warm unless Tao was with him, and since Tao was gone, the only thing he'd felt was cold. Cold and empty.
"I miss you." He mumbled. Running his fingers over the picture that they had put into the stone. It still looked the same as it did when they had buried Tao. A smiling picture of the younger the day they had gotten engaged. The sunset framed his face beautifully, giving the illusion that Tao was literally glowing.
"It would have been our nine year anniversary this weekend, and it would have been our second wedding anniversary, had we actually gotten to have the wedding." The tears poured down his face, falling onto the grass where's Tao's body laid. If only he had stopped him the day he went to leave. If only he had made him stay a little while longer. If only he could tell him he loved him one more time.
If only...
Kris ran his fingers through the grass, pulling up little toughs at a time. "I love you, Tao." He muttered, slowly standing up, and hovering over the tomb stone, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on the cold stone.
"I always have, and I always will."
~*~
Across the cemetery, Tao watched Kris cry over his dead body. His ghost form, breathlessly taking him over to the weeping man. Tao would always be there when Kris came, hopefully waiting for the older. It made him sad every time he would see Kris crying, but it made him so happy to see his lover's face.
He crept closer, till he was standing in front of Kris, watching the tears pour down his face. If only he could reach out and embrace him. If only he could run his fingers along his face, gently wiping away his tears. "I'm sorry." He said, reaching up to wipe away them away, yet they stayed where they were on his face.
"I never meant to leave you." He knew Kris couldn't hear him, but he did the best he could to convey his feelings into the wind, pushing a strong, warm breeze in Kris' direction as he stood on his toes to kiss his lips one last time. He wished he could actually feel his lips against his own, but he knew Kris would feel warmth. He hated that this would be his goodbye, but Kris needed to move on.
Tao wanted to see him happy. He wanted to see Kris laughing again instead of crying. He wanted to see him love again. It was a hard task, Tao knew it, but he also knew Kris. And Kris was much stronger than this.
"I love you, too." He whispered. Watching the surprised look on the older's face. He didn't know if he heard him or not, but he knew that Kris would be alright. His last wish that he was granted was to hug him before he would be taken. He wrapped his arms around Kris one last time, listening to the soft beat of his heart, before his soul disappeared into the wind, taking Tao to Heaven where he belonged.
~
Kris stayed rooted where he stood.
He'd felt the wind, but when it hit him he heard someone softly whisper that they loved him.
His heart skipped a beat as he knew who it was. "Tao..." He whispered, feeling a warmth surround his body. He wanted to reach out and grab it, but he knew it would be useless.
It was Tao. It had to be. He felt more tears wash over him as another warm breeze hit him. Then suddenly, it was gone. He looked down at the grave and saw that Tao's picture had suddenly changed.
He was wearing all white smiling from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas morning, and once again, he looked like he was glowing.
Tao was gone this time. But Kris wasn't sad, no, he was happy. Happy that he'd finally gotten to say goodbye to Tao properly. Happy that he'd heard his voice, even if it was only a whisper. And happy that Tao was in a better place.
Maybe he didn't get to hold the physical Tao once more, but at least he'd held him for a moment.
Even if it was only the ghost of him.
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[A/N:]
So how much do you guys hate me right now? XD
I'm guessing that you're all screaming, "NO NO NO!!" LOL Well I'm sorry!
This is how it played out. I hope you enjoyed reading this story, and I'm sad to say that this is the end. :(
Thank you for reading. <3 Up vote, comment for the comment ?
Saranghae.
Don't forget to check out my other stories if you haven't already!
-Kyla<3
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