Chapter Nine

Light white cold snow gradually fells from the sky, making Yoseob excited as he laid his hand, letting the snow to fall and melt in his palm. He then spun around, not really care that the snow had scattered on his hair. Yoseob was not really a fan of winter but he did not hate it. Plus, winter brought joys as much as summer. The cold weather and thick snowed streets was one of signs that Christmas was near and it almost new year. Yoseob grinned, thinking if he could still get gifts for Christmas.

Junhyung smiled softly, watching how his dear Yoseob enjoyed the weather. His smile and bright-looking eyes showed that he loved it. That adorable little guy was excited as if it was his first snow. It was his first snow after few years of missing. Missing? Yes, he had to admit that he did not want to use the word death and he did not really sure about the reason. Most probably death just sounded like eternal separation, as if he would never meet the little guy ever again. 

They were walking slowly, taking all the time they could before they would arrive to Cube building. At that time, Junhyung had to focus on the melody and lyric while Yoseob had to be ready to be his critic also gave his useful and meaningful ideas at the same time.

“Hyung, I don’t know how long since I’m dead but do you think I still get Christmas presents?” Yoseob tugged Junhyung arm as he looked at the older guy with his sparkling innocent eyes.

Junhyung frowned. “You don’t know?”

“Hmm?” Yoseob hummed as titled his head, wondering what Junhyung question was about. Did he ask about how long since he was dead or about he did not know whether he still got Christmas presents?

“About how long since you leave us, you don’t know?” Junhyung gently asked, knowing how naive Yoseob could be. Again, Junhyung noticed that he avoid the word death.

Yoseob childishly shook his head, releasing his hold from Junhyung’s arm as his eyes returned back to Junhyung’s.

“It has been five years, Yoseobie,” Junhyung replied, forcing out a small smile as he held the shorter guy’s hand. “Five years without you,” Junhyung continued, bringing the smaller guy’s hand to his side.

“That long?” Yoseob gasped, blinking his eyes.

Junhyung smirked to Yoseob funny expression before he nodded.

Yoseob looked forward, thinking. Actually there were a lot of things that he did not know and not remembered such as his wish and what happened before he died. He slightly remembered that he was hit by a car because he was almost hit by one that night, the first night he came to Junhyung after his death. The bright light from the car triggered his memory of the accident. It was scary and painful. It was something that he did not want to remember.

Yoseob sighed. Out of other good memories, he wondered why he remembered that painful moment. Yoseob shook his head. No, he did remembered many good memories, with Beast in the old condominium, playing around and performing together. Yoseob warmly smiled, engulfed by the warmth of the wonderful memories of Beast.

“What are you thinking?” Junhyung asked as he saw how Yoseob expression changed from pouting to his sweet usual smile. Junhyung smiled, moving both of their hands joyfully according to the rhythm of their footsteps, enjoying the moment.

Yoseob instantly turned his sight to Junhyung, revealing his sweet smile and childlike almond eyes. “About us and Beast,” he answered simply. 

They finally arrived at the Cube building, walking towards the studio that usually used by Junhyung. It was not him but informally it was him since no one else dared to be there even after his disappearance for three years.

Now, they were standing right in front of the door. Yoseob was excited that he slightly hopping, looking at the knob at the door.

Junhyung released his hold from Yoseob’s hand and unlocked the door, turning the knob before he pulled the door opened.

“Yay!” Yoseob squealed as he instantly rushed into the studio room, leaving Junhyung who took his steps slowly into the studio before he closed the door and switched on the lights.

Yoseob quickly sat on one of the chairs, waiting for Junhyung.

“Let’s start,” Junhyung announced as he sat on the other chair, right beside Yoseob, switched on the computer.

“Have you decided on the title, hyung?” Yoseob asked, as Junhyung usually started composing and writing after deciding on the title of the song.

Junhyung shook his head. “Nothing comes out of my mind recently,” Nothing but you. Junhyung thought as he gave the elfin guy his slight smile.

Yoseob frowned, thinking and at the same time he pouted, trying hard to come out with a good title name for the song.

Junhyung kept his eyes on the pouting Yoseob, smiling before his mind started to rewound back to this afternoon when they were still in the Dongwoon’s condominium.

“What if I wish for everyone to live together again?”

Junhyung was startled, expressing it with his widened eyes. “E-everyone?” he asked again, trying to make sure he did not hear it wrong.

Yoseob nodded his head calmly although he noticed the shock expression from Junhyung. “Yeah, all of us together, just like before,” he smiled, thinking how fun it was when they were together, just like the moment during Junhyung’s birthday party. When Beast was together, even a storm could be turned into a rainbow. No matter how bad the situation was, Beast always found a way to change it into something interesting and enjoyable.

Yoseob did not mind if they could not see him, watching how Beast members interacted with each other was sufficient for him. Their jokes, their smiles, and their laughs, all of those scenes were so warm and Yoseob would cherish them no matter what.

Junhyung sighed, now understood that he did not listen to the question wrongly. Yoseob wanted Beast to live under one roof again, just like it used to be. Junhyung patted the younger guy’s head as he tried to smile. “I don’t know, Yoseob. We are not the same person anymore. It was comfortable to live together before but now...”

Junhyung stopped as he saw a glimpse of sadness in Yoseob’s naive eyes. He turned away before he continued. “Now we all have changed and I don’t think it is possible,”

Yoseob was about to open his mouth to question why but the thought of everyone had changed stopped him. In his eyes, they are still the same person, the same idiotic Kikwang, the same hot-tempered Doojoon, the same 4D Hyunseung, the same reliable maknae Dongwoon and the same loving and caring Junhyung. But, it had been five years and Yoseob knew it was impossible for humans to stay the same for five years. People changed every single moment. Yoseob knew it and he started to hate how people could always change because right now he did not want them to change. He wanted them to stay the same. Yoseob knew it was selfish for him to have the thought but he could not stop himself from wishing how Beast would stay the same.

Yoseob eyes started to become teary, unable to hide his sad thought.

Junhyung turned back to Yoseob to find the small figure person was now crying silently. What had you done, Junhyung? Again, you made him cried. Junhyung gently pulled Yoseob into his chest as he softly patted the younger’s back before he whispered. “I’m sorry,”

“Vitamin!”

The voice stopped Junhyung’s thought and grabbed him to the present. His pupils instantly focused on Yoseob cheerful expression. He stared to Yoseob, trying to grasp that little one’s word.

“Hyung,” Yoseob pouted, unsatisfied with Junhyung response. “Are you listening?” he asked, still pouting.

Junhyung nodded as he gently smiled, finally able to grasp what the smaller guy was talking about. “Vitamin?” he chuckled, finding it was amusing how Yoseob could come out with that jovial name.

“Too joyous?” Yoseob asked, wondered. He had the thought that the name was too cheerful but still the name was quite nice.

Junhyung winked at Yoseob as his lips curved a teasing smirk before he uttered. “Just like you,”

Yoseob laughed loudly, finding it was excessively hilarious. Junhyung rarely flirted with him and Yoseob always found the way Junhyung tried to hit on him entertaining and amusing.

Junhyung smiled warmly, expecting the response given from Yoseob. That laugh, that contagious cheerful laugh, Junhyung swore silently to himself to protect that laugh. Junhyung knew what he had to do to make sure Yoseob was happy and always happy again.

Junhyung stood up suddenly. “I’m going to the toilet. Stay here,” Junhyung instructed.

Yoseob instantly stopped laughing and looked upward worriedly, watching Junhyung, startled with his sudden action. Were Junhyung angry because he laughed at his wink? Junhyung rarely angry because of such things but Yoseob was scared. He was scared that Junhyung too had changed. Yoseob feared that Junhyung would now hate what he just did.

“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Yoseob quickly apologized, afraid if Junhyung would never forgive him.

Junhyung saw the shaken and worried eyes of Yoseob and smiled to assure the younger guy. “Stupid, I told you to not apologize,” as he ruffled the smaller’s hair. “I’ll be back,” he said as he walked to the door.

Yoseob anxious eyes followed Junhyung steps, not blinking, feared if the older guy would leave him for good.

Junhyung arrived at the door and unexpectedly turned his head towards Yoseob. “I’m going to stop by the vending machine. Do you want anything?” Junhyung sincerely smiled.

Yoseob blinked, confused. He thought Junhyung was angry. Slowly, he curved a smile as he gradually understood that Junhyung was not angry. Maybe, he just needed to step out or went to the toilet. At least, some part of Junhyung did not change. Yes, people could change but deep down they were still the same person. Some parts of them would never change. Knowing this fact, Yoseob couldn’t stop himself from thinking that perhaps, although it just a small chance, someday, Beast would be able to live together again. They might change but, just like Junhyung, they did not completely changed.

“Seobie, anything?” Junhyung repeated as Yoseob was taking too long to reply.

“Anything, but not coke and coffee,” Yoseob cheerfully replied.

Junhyung nodded, smiling as he turned back to the door, stepping out of the room. Right after he stepped away from the room, Junhyung took out his phone from his pants pocket, unlocked it, quickly went to Beast’ Kakaotalk group. He started typing.

From Junhyung

Hello guys,

I have a bad news.
The birthday party is not Yoseobie real wish.
He still doesn’t remember his real wish but currently he wish that we all stay together in our old condominium.
Can you please help me grant his wish?
I know you still don’t believe me.
But, this is just temporary.
Until I manage to grant his real wish.
Please...
I promise I will pay back the money I spend all these years.
I’ll work harder than ever to pay it back.
Please grant Yoseob wish.
Please.

Junhyung did not even have a second thought when he typed all these and pressed the ‘send’ button. He most probably sounded desperate. He was desperate. If he could do it alone, he would but right now he couldn’t. Yoseob wish involved each members of Beast. Junhyung smirked. Yes, Yoseob always involved everyone in everything single thing. Junhyung always wondered how he could divide that small brain to think about each person.

But that was Yoseob he knew. That was Yoseob that Beast knew. That was the Yoseob that Beauty knew and no one could hate him because Yoseob they all knew was born to be loved. No, from what he saw, Yoseob was born to love others. It never mattered to that little angel whether people hate or care for him, he would always look out for others.

While Junhyung was born to love that angel, protecting him, making him felt loved and cared.  Junhyung smiled, satisfied with his role as Yoseob guardian. It was most probably what his mind made up but his heart approved it and Junhyung was more than happy to achieve the goal of that role, to protect Yoseob.

Junhyung finally made his steps toward the vending machine. He smiled, choosing a coke for himself and he turned to the coffee maker machine right beside the vending machine. A cup of hot chocolate for Yoseob since Yoseob was not a coffee lover.

Junhyung turned back to his phone, checking if anyone replied to him. His expression turned gloomy as he saw there were no words written under his text message but he knew it had been read. Junhyung sighed. He would wait until tonight for their replies. Junhyung was not a positive person but at this moment, he decided to be one. The other members were most probably busy with their schedule and they would reply when they were free. Until then, he would just wait patiently.

It was the second morning spent in the studio room. Yoseob was sleeping on the sofa provided, covered by a Junhyung’s black coat while Junhyung was still with his computer, arranging the melody for the last song he composed for that day. He managed to compose and write few songs and lyrics, hoping at least one of them would be accepted by Papa Hong.

In sudden, there was a knock on the door. Junhyung quickly turned to the door before he glanced at Yoseob who was still sleeping silently. Yoseob was usually a light sleeper as he easily woke up from his sleep. Junhyung smiled, relieved that the knock did not wake the visual maknae up.

Junhyung slowly stood up and walked towards the door, opening it.

“Hyung,” The voice greeted before Junhyung could recognize the owner of the voice.

“Ilhoon?” Junhyung called after he noticed that his junior was standing there, smiling cheerfully.

“Yeah, I heard you celebrate you birthday,” Ilhoon started the conversation, still with his smile.

Junhyung nodded. He could guess who would inform this younger rapper. It was most probably Kikwang. Junhyung did not remember when they started to be close but the person who usually updated with their juniors previously was Yoseob. They started to be close when they shot the Weekly Idol together. Since then, most of Btob members were closed with Yoseob especially Minhyuk, Changseob and of course Ilhoon.

“Hyung, daydreaming again?” Ilhoon asked as he lost his previous smile.

Junhyung smiled, noticing that he had just ignored Ilhoon while he was busy with his thought. “I’m sorry, Ilhoon-ah. I’m in the middle of finishing a song. My mind is still thinking about it,”

As soon as Ilhoon heard that, he panicked. He had just disturbed his senior doing one of his most important matters ever.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’ll finish this quickly. I just want to give you birthday gift. I’m sorry to give it to you this late,” Ilhoon spoke quickly, not stuttering, as if he was rapping. He passed a purple box with a blue ribbon to Junhyung.

Junhyung chuckled, finding Ilhoon action was adorable. He might have grown but he was still the same Ilhoon he knew. He took the box and simply uttered. “Thanks,”

“I should get going,” Ilhoon said, smiling and turned around, ready to step away. He did not want to be a disturbance any longer. He should let his senior finished his task.

“Wait,” Junhyung unexpectedly called. Since Yoseob was asleep, he thought maybe Ilhoon could be his critic.

Ilhoon turned back to Junhyung, showing his confused and curious expression.

“Do you have schedule after this?” Junhyung asked, smiling.

Ilhoon shook his head, blinking his eyes, still wondering the real reason Junhyung called him.

“Would you like to listen to the songs first before I let Papa Hong listen to them?” Junhyung gently questioned, earning a shock expression from the younger guy. “And I hope to listen to your opinion as well,”

“Me?” Ilhoon eyes widened, shocked with the sudden request, as he pointed to himself. “I-I’m just a rapper and lyric writer, hyung. I’m still struggling with composing,” Ilhoon admitted humbly, knowing his own capability. Plus, he was afraid if he gave the wrong ideas and suggestions.

Junhyung laughed. “Don’t worry. Yoseobie is not a composer nor lyric writer but he critics me bad,”

“Yo-Yoseob hyung?” Ilhoon asked, again he shocked, listening to the name which was previously forbidden to be said in front of the whole Beast members especially Junhyung and now, surprisingly, Junhyung was able to say that name while laughing joyfully. What had actually happened to his seniors? Even Kikwang sounded more cheerful than normal when that older guy called him yesterday. Was it all because of the birthday party? The person who agreed to do that was the person who was not standing in front of him who previously would outburst if anyone tried to wish his birthday or gave him birthday presents. Did that mean Junhyung had just changed?

Junhyung was a little bit startled with what had just out from his mouth. His eyes stared at Ilhoon surprised and confused expression. He had to do something before Ilhoon started to suspect any suspicious thing. “Well, he used to do that,” Junhyung spoke in a lower tone, intentionally made it sounded sad.

Ilhoon instantly felt guilty as he heard the sullen tone from Junhyung. “I’m sorry,” Ilhoon replied, looking down after he saw the sudden change of expression on Junhyung face. He should not say out the name. Because of that, Junhyung good mood had suddenly turned down. Far from his knowledge, that his senior was just acting it out.

Junhyung was relieved to see Ilhoon response. It seemed like he managed to trick that younger guy. This proved that his acting skill was still sharp as ever. Anyway, he needed to keep acting before Ilhoon doubted him.

Junhyung smiled weakly, still acting. “It’s okay,” He patted the younger’s shoulder. “So, would you like to listen to the songs?”  

Ilhoon nodded his head, replied the smile. “Sure, hyung,”

Author’s note:

I’m actually afraid if this chapter does not reach your expectation.
Plus, I did have problem while writing this chapter. It is suddenly harder for me to write from Junhyung’s point of view.

Owh, since some of you suggest some songs to be listen while reading this fic, I’m thinking to make a list of those songs.
Maybe I could include the songs I listen while writing this. What do you think?

Thanks for subscribing for the new subscriber and also thanks for the comments.

I love you. ^_^