Chapter Five

It was late in the evening, almost to sunset. People were leaving from their work, having a light shopping around the streets. The pavement was half-filled with Seoul citizens who were still busy with their Christmas’s preparation shopping, buying new clothes for the cold winter, gifts for their loves one and decoration for their house. 

Yoseob was strolling, slowly, lifelessly, looking down, and not noticing the surrounding around him. People walked through him few times and he looked as if it did not bother him.

As he was walking, unexpectedly he bumped something. Yoseob looked up as a spark of curiosity appeared.

It was a taller guy, wearing a black cap and a mask, looking down, closing eyes. That was weird. Why did not he pass through him as usual? Yoseob took a step back, looking at him from the bottom to the top. He was wearing all black as if he was a spy or someone who was undercover. Or maybe, he was trying to hide his identity, to avoid people to know him. Yoseob knew because he was a celebrity before. Sometimes, they did this for some privacy moment although it was irritating.

Yoseob turned around, starting to notice the familiar surroundings, as if he had been there before. The shops, the streets, the trees, grasses, buildings, everything was so familiar and felt very dear to him. His eyes stopped at the building right in front of him, a condominium.

He was looking at it seriously until his eyes instantly widened, now recognized the building. This was where his old home located, Beast condominium. Yoseob felt nostalgic, remembering how Beast usually acted when they were in the house. They were like a family, with Doojoon as the over caring father, Junhyung as the annoyingly nagging mother, Hyunseung as a ignoring big brother, Kikwang as his playing mate and Dongwoon the diligent maknae while he was just a person who annoyed everyone.

Yoseob chuckled although his eyes started to tear up, as he missed all those moments.

“Stop it, hyung. Forget Yoseobie. You have to move on. We all have moved on,”

Kikwang words suddenly echoed. Although it was meant for Junhyung, somehow Yoseob felt bad listening to those words. Did it mean they all had forgotten him? Did it mean they did not miss him as much as he missed them? Then, he was the only one who remembered those happy moments and wanted to remember them forever. Yoseob slightly smiled, trying to cheer himself up. It was okay. It was the best for everyone. Living people had to move on. Yoseob thought, trying to see things positively.

Yoseob turned around, facing back the man that he bumped before, noticing the man now had opened his eyes as he was looking at the street which filled with speeding cars. Yoseob frowned, recognizing the eyes.

“Doojoon hyung,” he exclaimed, shocked and excited.

Doojoon was staring at the street, the last place where he could see Yoseob alive. If only he had a little bit more courage to stop the smaller boy that night, he most probably could save him. But, he was a coward, afraid how Yoseob would notice his feeling if he cared too much. Ever since he noticed his feeling towards Yoseob, he silently placed an invisible barrier between him and Yoseob, not wanting the little boy to notice, not wanting the other members to realize his feeling. He coldly treated the little boy, ignoring him if he could. Because he knew how the boy felt towards Junhyung and how Junhyung felt towards Yoseob. Doojoon was afraid if the boy knew about his feeling, the boy would be further away from him, avoiding him. However, as he was silently hiding his feeling, he unconsciously avoided the little boy, treating him badly like a big jerk would.

Doojoon then remembered one of the moments he had badly treated the younger guy.

When the interviewer asked them who they would want as roommate, his heart was screaming Yang Yoseob but he was scared if the others could sense something weird was going on with him so he answered that he wanted to live alone. Yet, he was participating for Yoseob’s answer as he looked at the shorter eyes which were sparkling as if he was excited to answer. Yoseob wanted all of Beast members to stay in a room.

Doojoon slightly smiled. He actually could guess Yoseob’s answer, anyone could because Yoseob was clearly readable. Kikwang was also giving the same answer which was also not a surprise. Both of them always shared the same thought. Then, he was shocked, to listen to Junhyung’s answer. Yang. Yo. Seob. The rapper replied with a cheeky smile, grabbing Yoseob’s waist.

Doojoon was mad, especially when Yoseob seemed like he did not mind the skin contact as the little boy gave a sweet smile to Junhyung. He was filled with jealousy and rage but he knew it was his fault, for not being true with the answer. If only he could change the answer, maybe Yoseob would gave him the same look and smile as he gave to Junhyung.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Yoseob came to him after the interview.

Doojoon ignored the boy as he took his phone, playing with it, acting as if he was busy.

“Hyung, will you join the practice this evening?” Yoseob cheerfully asked, changing the topic.

Doojoon quickly turned away from facing the boy. “Nope,” he said, coldly, still looking through his phone.

“But, you don’t come for months now,” Yoseob pouted, trying to convince Doojoon to join the boxing practice where they both enjoyed. It was him that introduced it to Doojoon and the older guy seemed happy to do it until, four months ago when Doojoon stopped coming.

“Shut up, I’m not going,” Doojoon replied harshly as he quickly walked out of the interview room, leaving the confused Yoseob behind.

Doojoon sighed, remembering how a jerk he was to Yoseob. Then, he remembered how messed up the things were that night, the cold night when he was being a stupid coward.

He was rushing out of the house, catching up with Yoseob. He quickly hold the younger boy wrist when he was close enough, stopping the boy from making another step.

Yoseob slowly turned to Doojoon, with an unreadable expression and a weak smile. “I’m okay, hyung.” The small guy spoke. “Don’t worry about me. It may sound selfish but could you help Junnie hyung clean up. Being angry is not good for him,” Yoseob continued.

Doojoon was startled when he heard Junhyung’s pet name, showing how close they had become. He felt angry, stupidly jealous with something that he did not have the right to be jealous. Doojoon instantly released his hold from Yoseob’s smaller wrist.

“Don’t act as if I’m trying to sooth you and I’m not worried at all. I just want to tell you don’t be such a spoiled baby,” Doojoon replied, in rage.

Yoseob did look startled with the reply but he still tried to smile. “Okay, I won’t,” he paused. “I’m going to the convenience store for a while,”

Doojoon looked away, still feeling angry although guilty also started to fill his heart. “Okay,” he answered coldly.

Yoseob turned away, walked towards the elevator before he suddenly turned around. “Hyung, your clothes are in my room. Dongwoon and I were excited to see the clothes and we were trying them on. You are actually good in fashion, hyung. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier,” the elfin guy smiled, an innocent smile.

Doojoon was slightly relieved to know that his clothes were actually saved from the washing machine although he found it was weird for Dongwoon and Yoseob to be interested in his apparel for his schedule tomorrow. Still, “Don’t ever touch my things,” he answered, half-angrily and he turned back, ready to walk back into the house.  

“I’m sorry, hyung,” he heard Yoseob apologized.

“Shut up, your voice annoys me,” With those words, Doojoon walked into the house, not looking at Yoseob even for a glance.

Doojoon regretted what he did that night. If only he pulled Yoseob into his hold, telling the sensitive boy that it was okay, telling the small guy that he was there, voluntarily accompany the boy to walk to the street... But, he was a jerk, telling the guy not to be a spoiled baby, acted as if he was shooing the easily hurt guy away, coldly told the guy that he was annoyed with his voice.

Doojoon smirked, although tears had started to form at the corner of his eyes. What a nice words to suggest to a main vocal? Doojoon could not imagine how much those words had hurt Yoseob especially when his voice was his precious treasure.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Yoseob asked, although he knew Doojoon can’t hear him. From his view, Doojoon looked stress and sad. He did not like this view of Doojoon. He preferred Doojoon who scolded him even from tiny matters although it hurt him.  

Doojoon tears started to flow down his cheek. Doojoon ignored the tears, as if he did not notice it. Doojoon then started to notice that the day almost dark.

It was sunset. The street had empty as people started to go home, resting and prepared for another busy day.

“Hyung, what happen? Why do you cry?” Yoseob asked anxiously, almost sounded like he was begging. He was worried. What if something bad had happened and Doojoon was facing it all alone? Will Doojoon be okay?

Doojoon kept reminiscing the past, the last moment he saw Yoseob.

 It had been half an hour since Yoseob left the house. The condominium was in sullenly silent, the atmosphere was gloomy and tense. Everyone was in their respecting room, doing whatever they had always do until a loud bang surprised them.

Doojoon quickly looked at his window, watching the scene at the opposite pavement of their condominium building. A figure was lying on the street, a few foots further from a car as the car’s light brightened the figure. That person looked familiar. A cake box and dozens of soft drink cans lie near him. Doojoon then tried to focus to the person, checking on his physical feature which was small for a guy, quite similar to Yoseob.

“Yoseob!” he quickly recognized the guy.

He quickly walked out of his room, to the house door, not taking any outer garment to protect him from the cold weather. Doojoon could hear Hyunseung voice called his name but he ignored it. He rushed to the scene, praying it was not Yoseob. He did not even use the elevator as he thought it would be too slow, he was running down the stairs, as fast as he could. He was sweating despite the frosty weather because of the running and mostly because he was anxious.

Please, don’t let it be Yoseob. Please, god if you hear me, please makes it someone else. Doojoon kept enchanting those words in his mind.

He stopped when he had reached the pavement in front of their condominium, watching the opposite street which was now crowded with people, hiding the lying person of the street from his sight.

Doojoon took a deep breath, getting prepared as he rushed to the crowd, pushing himself so he could get a sight on the person until he was finally in front of the lying person. It was Yang Yoseob, the sensitive little guy that he just hurt before.

He was lying on the street, hardly breathed. Red crimson liquid flowed slowly from his head, to his forehead, staining his soft cheek and reddened the gray street, making a pool of blood around the little head. There was also blood, flowing out of his mouth, adding more to the blood puddle.

“Yo... seob?” Doojoon barely managed to voice out, unable to register the whole scene in his mind. “No,” Doojoon tried to deny as he struggled to make another step. Slowly, step-by-step, he walked to the lying person, before he kneed right next to the small guy.

“Yoseob!” he heard before Junhyung quickly came, kneeing at the other side of Yoseob. Junhyung quickly brushed Yoseob’s fringe as he wanted to see a good look at Yoseob face. “Yoseob,” he called gently, hoping for a response.

No response. The smaller guy was weakly breathed, and it getting weaker for every breath.

“I... I will call the ambulance,” Doojoon managed to rationally think as he searched his pocket. It was empty. His heart instantly drenched with fear. No, he must do something.  He looked around, begging. “Can someone call an ambulance?”

“I have made the call,” A voice from the crowd answered.

Doojoon nodded, quickly turned to Yoseob, worried.

Junhyung now had lifted Yoseob’s head to his shoulder, supporting the weaker guy with his arm as he was talking to Yoseob.

“Don’t go, Yoseob. Don’t go. Please, don’t go,” Junhyung kept repeating those words, as his other hand was holding the younger guy waist. “Open your eyes and look at me. Please, open those eyes. Please...”

There was no response from the injured guy. Doojoon then noticed that Yoseob chest was no longer waved as before. Doojoon quickly took Yoseob hand, trying to read his pulse through his wrist. He could not feel anything. Then, his hand quickly went to Yoseob neck, right under his jaw. Nothing. Doojoon gulped. No, Yoseob would not die. Doojoon tried to convince himself, he place his ear on Yoseob chest, trying hard to listen to the heartbeat. It was silent.

Junhyung stopped enchanting as he was waiting for Doojoon. Part of him knew what Doojoon was doing and part of him was denying the action. Then, Doojoon turned to him, looked at him with those teary eyes, silently telling him that Yoseob was no longer alive.

“No,” Junhyung lips quivered. “You’re lying. You’re not a doctor. You can’t confirm anything,” Junhyung then turned to Yoseob.

“Yoseob, open your eyes. Stop the act. Stop playing dead,” Junhyung said as he shook Yoseob’s body, trying to wake the younger guy.

“Come on, Yoseob. Open your eyes. Yoseob, please. Please... ,” Junhyung was crying,  as he tightening his hold, hugging Yoseob cold body. “Don’t go...” he managed to say before he sobbed, not showing any sign that he would release the younger boy soon.

“Doojoon,” the voice stopped him from remembering the past. Doojoon turned around and saw Hyunseung was standing right beside him.

“You should go home. It’s getting colder,” Hyunseung suggested kindly as he placed a blue scarf around Doojoon neck.

“Thanks,” Doojoon replied simply.

Yoseob smiled. “Hyunseung hyung is right. Doojoon hyung should go home,” Yoseob was gladded that at least someone would be worry about Doojoon.

Doojoon started to walk away while Hyunseung was walking beside him.

Yoseob decided to follow those two and learned more on what had happened for all these years. Maybe, he could finally remember what his wish was while doing so.

Author’s note:

I’m sorry for missing for almost a week.
I will be busy this week and maybe no update for a week.

I’m sorry.
Hope you will like this chapter.

Thanks for your support and comments.