It was a day before their first stage performance. The music video and album was launched few days previously and both the album and music video were accepted well by the fans and public. The title song was topping all music charts since the day it was launched. Beast’s members were usually busy with variety show recording, media interviews and practices yet today they decided to take a day off.

Junhyung brought a box of soju to the living room while Doojoon brought a box of beer. The other members arranged the silverware for the spicy fried chicken on the coffee table.

“I don’t need chopstick,” Doojoon reminded as he saw Kikwang was organizing chopsticks around the coffee table.

Kikwang nodded.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else, Yoseobbie?” Hyunseung, who was holding a few of glasses in his hand asked, anxious. He wanted today to be the best day for Yoseob.

Yoseob shook his head and smiled lightly. He had mix feeling regarding today. He was happy that the members were trying to do everything to cheer him up yet he felt bad that today might be the last day he could see them face to face. While watching them preparing the simple party, his mind was reminded of the moment he first told Junhyung his real wish.

Yoseob’s face was red from crying too much. His eye bags were swollen badly, his nose, his lips and his whole face were so red. His tears were still flowing out. “I’m sorry, Junnie. I can’t be with you forever,” He managed to say in between the sobs.

Junhyung gently place his hand at the back of Yoseob’s head, pushing the smaller guy to bury his face in his chest while his other hand pat the younger back. “No, I am the one who should be sorry. You were supposed to be happy up there but I make you return here, suffering with me. I was so filled with my guilt and self-pity. I’m sorry, Seobbie-ah. I shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t make you worry about me.”

Yoseob shook his head gently in Junhyung’s chest. He couldn’t say a word but he disagree with Junhyung apologizing to him. The rapper was not in the wrong side.

“I’m sorry, Yoseobbie-ah. Five years ago, I shouldn’t scream at you or blame you. You are the greatest thing ever occur in my life and I don’t want you to feel otherwise. I am so happy that you return. It as if the heaven is giving me a second chance to redeem my mistakes.” Junhyung kissed Yoseob’s forehead gently.

“Now, it’s my turn to make you happy every day. After this, list down what you want or want to do. I will do everything to fulfill your bucket list,”

Yoseob shook his head again. This time he raised his face, looking at Junhyung. “Everything that I want has happened. I just wish the time would stop so I could spend it with you and the members,”

Junhyung kept quiet, knowing so well how it was impossible to stop the time. “The time will flow but the memories stay,” Junhyung managed to say. “Let’s make more memories, Yoseobbie. The time we have left doesn’t matter. The memories are,”

For the first time, Yoseob nodded.

They broke the news to the members that night and for a while they were arguing of not doing the stage performance forever. However, Yoseob insisted that they do the stage performance because he knew how all of them love to perform on stage. That was the reason why most idols and performers stayed in the industry. The euphoric moment they felt on the stage, watching hundreds of people appreciating their effort was one of the best feelings Yoseob ever felt and he didn’t want to take that enjoyment from the people he cared for. Thus, in the end, they all agreed to just follow what Yoseob want and Yoseob wanted them to continue making music and performing them.

And that was how they decided that instead of mourning over the second separation, this time they would do a proper goodbye party, celebrating it.

That day, a day before their stage performance, Beast members gathered in their home and spent time drinking soju and beer, eating fried chicken and pizza, having good conversation, and expressing every feeling they felt at the moment so they won’t regret them later.

**********************

“Beast, please stand by at the stage,” stage planner announced as he closed back the door of the idol’s waiting room.

“Let’s go, Yoseob,” Junhyung stood up from the sofa and pulled Yoseob hand, causing the little one to stand up as well.

“Wait! What?” Yoseob asked, confused as he stood still, causing Junhyung to stop his step. Yoseob was supposed to just wait in the waiting room, watching their live performance from the screen.

“Come on, friend,” Kikwang patted Yoseob back, an act of encouragement.

“For what?” Yoseob asked again as he looked at the other members who were also looking at him, smiling as if they were doing a prank on him.

“For the performance, hyung. OUR performance,” Dongwoon emphasized on the words ‘our’.

Junhyung just pulled Yoseob once again as he knew the longer they stalled the time, the higher possibility for Yoseob to reject this.

Beast members were all nervous when they made the walk to the stage from their waiting room. The other newer idols were all greeting them politely while they could just give them an obvious nervous smile. It had been five years since they last performed on stage. They were almost given up to sing and perform ever again.

At last they arrived at the back of the stage, having the privilege to peek at the audience.

“Beauties are here. I could see the ‘rose bong’. They still keep them,” Dongwoon covered his nose and mouth with his both hand, feeling touched with ‘Beauty’ affection towards them even after five years of nothing. They were no news, no rumors, no stories from the Beast members regarding returning as a group.

Doojoon patted Dongwoon back and pulled him into a hug. “Don’t cry, maknae. It’s not the time to cry yet,” Doojoon advised as he knew once Dongwoon started crying, the whole group would be crying as well. That was how fragile they were now. They were in between of happiness and sadness; happy that they could perform again and saw ‘Beauty’ once again yet sad that they would lose a family member that they adored and loved so much.

“Beast, come on stage,”

Yoseob was so nervous that his chest felt so heavy and his stomach felt queasy. He did practice a few times with the members but he did that for fun. He just wanted to feel the pleasure of dancing and singing once again but he was never ever ready for a stage performance. However, once he made the step on stage, he felt the burden in his chest flew away towards the audiences who were cheering loudly for them.

“Beauty,” Yoseob whispered to himself unconsciously as he saw the wave of grey in the audience, the colour of their official lightstick.

The members nervously position themselves on stage, even giving an empty space for Yoseob to stand. When they first choreographed the dance movement, they were already set the position for Yoseob. This was their first comeback without Yoseob in the public eyes. But, far from the public and fans knowledge, the real Yoseob was there on stage that day.

“Beauty, Annyeong!” Doojoon greeted.

Beauties passionately replied. “ANNYEONGGG!!!”

“We’re sorry we take such a long time to return,” Doojoon started as he took a good look at the audiences. “It was hard since that incident,” Doojoon paused again, looking at the reaction the audiences they gave. Beauties had mix reaction but most of them were encouraging.

“But, honestly we dedicate this comeback for you and Yoseobbie. So, I hope you enjoy our performance and keep watching for us in the future. Please,” Doojoon bowed to the audience and all of the other members were bowing as well. They were so grateful that the fans were waiting for them patiently. This was the only thankful gesture they could show towards their fans.

Yoseob bit his lower lips, holding his tears. Not yet. Not now. He reminded himself.

“Ready,” an announcement was made, asking the group to be ready for the performance.

The music started and the stage started to light up. Even with the nervous feeling, Beast’s members were keeping their poker and professional face when performing. The beat and rhythm flowed smoothly in every inches of their body making the dance movement they made looked so natural yet so powerful. The smooth angelic voices filled up the space, captivating the audience. The fan chants were overwhelming as they were five years ago, encouraging the performers on stage.

The song ended and those six people were standing frozen and panting strongly on stage, a sign that they had done their very best.

Thump!

A sound was heard. Someone fell. But the audiences were cheering as usual. They didn’t hear that. Only Beast’s members heard that sound and all of them turned to the source of the sound.

“Yoseob,” Junhyung mumbled unconsciously as he saw Yoseob was lying on cold stage floor, not moving. Junhyung gulped and sighed heavily, trying to release the burden he felt on his chest as he quickly rushed to Yoseob, ignoring the fact that only the Beast members were able to see Yoseob. He immediately squatted down, lowering himself to attend to Yoseob.

Doojoon was watching how Junhyung was rushing to Yoseob. He knew as the leader of the group he needed to cover Junhyung’s action. He turned to the audience. “I’m sorry everyone. Junhyung is not really well. Next time, we will spend more time with you,”

Kikwang, Hyunseung and Dongwoon quickly rushed to Junhyung. They switched off their microphone while they moved. Dongwoon and Hyunseung were trying to cover the situation with their body while Kikwang squatted down to see Yoseob’s situation.

“He faints?” Kikwang asked Junhyung who was there earlier.

Junhyung nodded. “I’ll carry him to the waiting room,” Junhyung immediately swiped Yoseob’s body off the floor and ran off to the back of the stage.

Dongwoon and Hyunseung were quick to chase Junhyung while Kikwang took a while before he stood up and chased them. Doojoon bid the last goodbye to the audience and quickly chased his groupmates.

Junhyung placed Yoseob gently on the sofa of their waiting room. If Yoseob was a human, he would immediately send him off to the hospital. However, he was not and Junhyung had no other choice but to just wait and did nothing. Junhyung gently caressed Yoseob hair, kissing his forehead so softly as if any stronger force could break the younger guy. Junhyung did not even notice the other members entered the waiting room. He kept his focus on Yoseob.

Doojoon who was the last person arrived quickly closed the waiting room door and locked it. He then texted their manager, telling him that Junhyung was fined and just need a few minutes rest. They only have one hour before they had to go back on stage for the ending ceremony. If things wouldn’t get better at that time, he would just find an excuse so all Beast members would escape the ceremony. “How is he?” he could finally ask.

Junhyung who heard the question shook his head. He was not sure himself.

Kikwang made a move closer to Yoseob, squatting at the vocalist feet. “Seobbie-ah,” he called as he placed his hand on Yoseob’s leg.

Hyunseung and Dongwoon stepped closer as well, gathering themselves around Yoseob, watching the little guy facial expression.

Yoseob could hear to all of the conversation but he felt so weak to even open his eyes. He knew it was because his time to return has come thus he lost all of his energy so his soul could return soon. Yoseob knitted his eyebrow, forcing every energy he had left to his eyes so that at least he could open them and see the members.

“He is awake,” Junhyung who noticed how Yoseob frowned, a sign of effort was shown.

Doojoon who heard that, quickly moved closer to Yoseob, standing right behing Junhyung, worried.

Weakly, Yoseob managed to open his eyes. He tried to smile although he was not sure either it was shown on his face or not.

“Are you okay?” Junhyung anxiously questioned. Junhyung noticed that Yoseob’s lips were parted but no words came out of those pale lips. “Yoseob-ah, don’t force yourself to say anything,”

“Hyung, Yoseob’s hyung is going transparent,” Dongwoon pointed out as he noticed that he could see the cream coloured sofa through Yoseob’s body.

Junhyung felt the heavy lump in his stomach flowed up to fill in his chest and throat. It was so heavy that he had trouble breathing as normal. He was prepared yet he was not ready for this separation. He wish he had more time but he obviously he didn’t. Junhyung gulped, trying to flush away the choke he had in his throat so at least he could say the words that he needed to say.

“Yoseob-ah,” He managed to start the first word. “You don’t have to worry about me again. I promise you that I will keep doing the things that I love. I will make music till the day I can meet you again. So, please don’t worry Yoseob-ah.” The rapper paused as the heavy bitter lump started to crawl up to his throat again.

Hyunseung patted Junhyung’s back, encouraging him. All of the members were giving him the priority to give his last words to Yoseob. They knew that Junhyung was the one who needed it the most. That guy was living in guilt and sadness in the past five years before Yoseob returned. It is because he had the most regrets.  Thus, they were giving him the chance so he could release all of those regrets and able to live on after this.

Doojoon put his hand on Junhyung shoulder and made a firm hold. He saw Junhyung turned to him and the leader gave the composer his assuring smile. Doojoon had things that he wanted to say as well but he knew that what were important to Yoseob were Junhyung’s words. The little guy even begged the heaven to return for the sake of the rapper. He sometimes felt that it was unfair as he loved Yoseob as well, he too had regrets for hurting that little guy as well but he knew that all those regrets and guilt he had were not important for Yoseob.

“I…” Junhyung burst into tears, wailing softly. The lump the he held just now flowed out of his eyes and he could no longer control them. “I…” yet, he tried to continue his words. “I will live on with the memories we made together,” he paused, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “all of them; the good one and the bad one, the old one and the latest one,”

Kikwang and Dongwoon were wailing as well, unable to control their emotions that now it was confirmed that Yoseob was disappearing right in front of them. “Yoseob-ah,” Kikwang wept, wetting his whole face with his tears. 

Yoseob’s tears were now burst out of his eyes, slowly flowing on his nose bridge and fall on the sofa. His body was more and more transparent and it was actually a bit hard to see him now. So, his strength was also slowly disappearing. Yet, the little one wished he had the strength to wipe Junhyung’s tears, to say that he would also remember all of their memories and gave the older guy a long deep hug. He wished so hard, repeatedly at the back of his mind. And, as if the heaven listened to his small wish, his strength came back, flowing throughout his body.

Immediately, the half-transparent Yoseob sat up and gave the rapper the warm deep embrace. “Me too,” the trembling voice managed to say. “I will remember them too,”

“Hyung,” Dongwoon sobbed. “Me too, hyung. I will remember you forever,”

Hyunseung who was bawling his eyes out could just nod as he also agreed with what Dongwoon was saying. 

“Yoseob-ah, I will always remember you from the moment we met during our trainees days till today,” Doojoon managed to say in between his tears. “and I hope we will meet again,” Although Doojoon doubted that they would meet again in this life, he had hope that they would meet again in the afterlife or in the next life. At that moment, he promised to himself to try his best to love Yoseob with all he had instead of hurting the little guy like he did in this life.

Kikwang nodded, agreeing with Doojoon. “We will be best friend again when I meet you next time,” the actor sniveled.

Yoseob released his hold of Junhyung as he felt his strength was disappearing again. “Junhyung-ah,” he called as he looked at Junhyung. “Doojoon-ah,” he turned to Doojoon, looking with teary eyes. “Hyunseung-ah,” he smiled at Hyunseung, although it was obviously bitter. “Kikwang-ah,” the moist eyes softly turned to Kikwang. “Dongwoon-ah,” he looked affectionately at the maknae.

Yoseob was now gradually invisible to them, yet, they still looked at him as if they could see him.

“I’ll watch over you guys in the heaven,”

The soft angelic voice was audible although it was very soft but Yoseob was not visible anymore.

“Yoseob-ah,” Junhyung extended his hand, trying to at least feel Yoseob who was just now right in front of him. Yet, he felt nothing but thin air.

Watching that, all of them sobbed, mourning over the lost of their great friend.

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Epilogue will come soon. :)