"Hyung! Hyung! Wake up!" He yelled. Woohyun's desperate cries fill the quiet halls of the studio. Luckily, no one's around or we'd be in bigger trouble. I looked at Hoya who seemed to be his lips out of lust and smacked him in the head. "No" i stated while pointing at him. He shook his head to get the lust out of his head and nodded. I rushed towards the distressed Woohyun and examined the situation. So . . Sunggyu-hyung . . He passed out . . He feels hotter than a thousand suns . . He's as pale as snow . . But . . Thank goodness, he's still breathing. 

 

"Hyun, lets take him back to our room. No one should see this." I said. I immediately flung Sunggyu-hyung's arms around my shoulders and carried him on my back. Even in our thick clothes i can feel his alarmingly high temperature. We fasten our pace of walking because the show's about to end and everyone will be back at the backstage to see us carrying our leader. It wouldn't be good for INFINITE's publicity. 

 

Finally, we reached our private room with the other members already dressed up and ready to leave. 

"Dongwoo . .what happened?" Manager-hyung asked. 

"I think Sunggyu-hyung's sick." I simply answered. 

 

I laid down Sunggyu-hyung at the cream colored couch and felt his forehead. Indeed, he's sick. And he never gets sick. 

"We need to go now." Myungsoo said. "Everyone will see us with that sick bastard, and it wont be good for us." I looked at him. "Bastard" . . Sunggyu-hyung's anything but a bastard. Myungsoo . . You really have become that ed up L you said you wont be. 

 

"what the hell did you say?!" Woohyun yelled. "Yah, you son of a ! Sunggyu-hyung's not a bastard! You're the only bastard here!" 

 

"Oh, so i'm the bastard now? Well, i guess its fine as long as i'm not the reason why our comeback's a disaster!" Myungsoo snapped back. 

 

" you" Woohyun mumbled. He then clenched his fist and looked at Myungsoo. His eyes are filled with anger. He then did one of the most unexpected things he ever did. He flung himself at Myungsoo and punched him at his perfect face. 

Myungsoo fell down from the impressive blow and held his jaw. Woohyun stepped on his chest and said: 

"Don't you ever and when i say ever, i mean it. don't you bad-mouth my leader ever again. And when you do, i swear . . I swear you wont see tomorrow ever again. And i wont give a damn about your ed up fans about all the things they'll say or do. What matters is i have your head. Got it?" 

 

Woohyun stopped pressing on Myungsoo's chest and walked towards the sleeping Sunggyu-hyung after saying what he held boxed in inside his heart. We are all frozen. Woohyun never snaps back. He always keeps his cool down. He must be really disturbed then. Disturbed by the fact that his and my Sunggyu-hyung's suffering. I want to say something to Myungsoo too. But he .. He made me fear him. The last time i defied him wasn't a pretty memory. I still get nightmares from it. I remember when i use to have nightmares and Sunggyu-hyung would always be there when i wake up in cold sweat. He would my hair until i stopped crying and would hug me to sleep when i ask him to. Sunggyu-hyung's such a nice person, I don't get why he's always the one to suffer. Maybe i should start moving on from that nightmare that Myungsoo gave me and should also start repaying Sunggyu-hyung from all the kindness he's given me. 

 

Woohyun grabbed Sunggyu-hyung's sleeping body and started walking towards the door. "Lets go." He said. "We wouldn't want anyone to see us with this sick bastard right? It wouldn't be good for us." 

 

Woohyun left the room and headed down the parking lot. We all gathered our things and followed him too. When our black van arrived, Woohyun immediately sat at the farthest corner of the van and he sat Sunggyu-hyung beside the two of us. "Sungyeol, sit in the front." He said. Sungyeol eagerly obliged. 

 

The whole van was silent. Woohyun's anger made the whole van tense up, preventing us from sleeping, talking, or simply listening to our favorite songs. He made us frozen like statues. 

 

"Hyun." I whispered. "Are you cooled down now?" I asked. 

"Talk to me in chat." He said.

 

Dongwoo: hyun, you cool now?

Woohyun: no, i'm pissed.

Dongwoo: its that bad huh?

Woohyun: that bad?! He practically said that Sunggyu-hyung's worthless! He doesn't really see it! He doesn't know all of the things Sunggyu-hyung does for us! And how dare he! A mere member, to say such a ed up thing! The only thing he's got is that pathetic excuse for a face!

Dongwoo: so what will you do now? They're practically shaken up.

Woohyun: Just do what i told you to do for me. Keep an eye on the things they do. And i . . I'll make sure Sunggyu-hyung wont get hurt. 

Dongwoo: I'll make sure you'll know everything they have to say. 

               

_________________________

 

 

They're playing that annoying song again . . The one that saesang fans made for me when i still have my red hair. They use to play that song outside the dorm every night and i always had troubles sleeping when i hear it. It sounds like an innocent children's song, but when you listen to it .. It makes the ends of your hair stand straight. 

 

 

It makes me shiver every time i hear that song. I always find myself tugging on my sheets for comfort when i hear it. Woohyun always say that i cry when i hear it. However, i don't really remember crying over it.But I do remember once, the seasang fans played that song non-stop for 5 days. I didn't sleep a wink during the first traumatizing 3 days. Woohyun, however, didn't stop coaxing me to sleep in those 3 days. Until, he just couldn't take it anymore and pulled me to bed, hugged me, and forced me to sleep. And yes, i did sleep, because Woohyun promised that he'll be there to make sure that all the things they say in that song wont happen.

 

 

"Sunggyu-ssi . . " a terrifyingly soft voice said. "Did you hear my song?" She asked and chuckled. "I promise i'll make the things i say come true. I'll see you tied up and weak beneath me one day. And when that happens, i wont let you go." 

 

The air started to feel heavy and i find it hard to breathe. I clench my chest and it only became harder to breathe. 

"H-help." I mumbled. "H-help . ." 

 

My eyes bolt open and i tried to catch my breath. Thank goodness it was just a dream.

"Hyung, you ok?" I looked to my left and saw Woohyun looking at me with such a worried face. 

"I'm f-fine .." I answered while breathing heavily. "You had a bad dream?" He asked and i nodded. 

"Its about that retched song." I said. "Its playing in my head." I stated while positioning myself to sit up.

"I'm here hyung, i promise it will go away." He said. 

I looked around and found out that i was in my room at the dorms.  "Hyun . . What happened? Why am i here?" I asked, although i'm pretty sure what happened. 

"Hyung . . You passed out while we were at the studio, so we had to take you home instead of going to the hospital because its not good if the public knows." 

 

Oh yeah .. i suddenly felt sick and passed out. "Was i too much trouble for any of you?" I asked. 

He chuckled "no hyung, you're never a trouble for us." He said with a smile.  

 

My head suddenly shot a wave of pain. I clutched my hair and bit my lip in attempts to shun out the pain. Woohyun then held my hands and laid me down in my bed. "You're fever hasn't gone down yet so you need to rest." He said. "I'll leave you now to sleep." 

 

"Hey hyun?" I called out before he could leave our room."are they mad at me?" I asked.

"No." He said.

"Don't lie to me, please tell me the truth." 

He sighed. "Yes, they're mad at you." He said. "But its not really your fault." 

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.  

"A little." He calmly stated. "Because you didn't tell me you weren't feeling well. I could've helped you ya~know. I could've let you ease some of the pain you're feeling in your head. I could've asked them if you could stay out of our performance today, but sadly you didn't. You just had to let things turn out to be like this. You should've said something to us." 

 

"I'm sorry . ." Was the only thing i could say. I wanted to tell him the truth, the truth that anyone knowing i'm sick will give anyone an excuse to mock me with bad things that i don't even want to hear. Things that causes me to sneak out during rainy nights to punish myself. I dont like it when Woohyun's mad at me, because he's the only one that keeps me sane. The only one that gives me hope to live for tomorrow.

 

I don't like the way they fuss over me. Saying that i'm weak, that i'm stupid, a loser, and a bad leader. I don't like hearing it. I thought i'd only get the bashing from the seasang fans, but i was wrong. When i thought i'd be safe in the confides of my dorm with my brothers, i wasn't. i also get the bashes from them. My chest always feel tight whenever i hear them say bad things about me. It gets tight with grief. They're my brothers, and i love them. But it looks like, they don't love me back. I'm just a toy that they can throw around and inflict pain to. A toy that they can just throw away once they'r tired of it. I am no longer a human being in their eyes. I'm just an object of their entertainment. 

 

"Hyung, don't cry. I don't like it when i see you cry." Woohyun suddenly said. 

"Wha? I am?" I asked. I touched the edge of my eyes to find them wet with tears. Not only am i weak, i'm mentally retarded too. I sighed, i'm slowly losing all of the confidence i have. I'm starting to give in to their stupid games. However, even if i try to fight back, i don't think there will be any difference. They're stronger than me in terms of confidence and pride, i have none of those. And also . . I cant stand the fact of hurting them. Even if they've done such awful things, i still cat bear the thought of them getting hurt. 

 

I rested my head against the soft pillows, curled up in a ball, and covered whole body in a blanket. I don't want to see Woohyun's angry eyes. You can let me see anything else but his angry eyes. Anything but his angry eyes. 

 

Suddenly, i felt a pair of warm arms engulf me into a tight hug. "Oh c'mon hyung, i'm not that mad. But still, you should've told me something." He said. "So stop crying now! Its all good!" He assured. 

 

"I'm s-sorry h-hyun." I said. 

"Hyung its fine!!" He yelled. He then pulled the blanket off of me and ruffled my hair. 

"Hyung . . Your eyes are always red these days, you should rest now hyung. We'll just be outside waiting for you to recover. Until then, see ya~!!" Woohyun then planted a soft kiss in my forehead and skipped his way out of the room. Hyunnie is really silly. It seems that he cant be mad at me for too long too, he is very nice and i feel safe when i'm with him. But . . Even with his gentleness, i still cant help but to punish myself. I do deserve it after all. All the hardships i caused them can only be repaid with cold blade ran across warm skin. Or in my case, boiling hot water against sensitive skin. I use to hurt myself using blades, but its too obvious. People easily see the cuts in my arm. And if i dont cut my arms but my legs, people also notice because i wince in pain whenever i walk and that beautiful color always manages to stain my clothes and therefore, it goes noticed. 

 

I closed my eyes and rest while hearing that horrid song whenever i sleep.

-------------------------

The doctor came by awhile ago to check up on our fallen leader. We were suppose to go to the hospital but myungsoo got this brilliant idea not to go because people will see us. So, we went home, careful not to raise any suspicions and called a doctor. 

 

"My assumptions were right. He is sick. Very sick indeed." The doctor said while fixing his stethoscope. He sighed. "Make sure he gets plenty of rest and fluids. He'll need them. Also, make sure he doesn't skip meals, i can see he's skinnier than the last overall check-up i gave him. Hmm when he wakes up, i'm sure he'll reject everything you'll offer him so make sure to force him." The doctor said. We all just stared at our fallen leader covered in sweat. 

 

The day went by with all of us busying ourselves with our devices. Phones, iPads, iPods, shuffles, mac books, and the TV. But none of us bothered opening our social networking accounts because we know what lies in them. Woohyun keeps going back and forth to his and Sunggyu hyung's room and at the couch where he's previously sitting. He kept this up for some time that the other members began to get annoyed. And just like all the time, they decided to discuss their annoyance in a group chat. 

 

Sungyeol: this is annoying, he keeps going back and then in that couch, back and forth, back and forth e n e

Hoya: well . . He's just taking care of Hyung so i guess its fine.

Sungyeol: its anything but fine *^*

Sungjong: are you jealous Sungyeol-hyung? 

Sungyeol: wha-?!! NO!!! NEVAH *^*

Myungsoo: well you seem like you are. 

Sungyeol: but i'm not! 

Dongwoo: yes you are e u e 

Sungyeol: oh shaddup dino -kicks you- 

Dongwoo: >.>

Hoya: sooooo yeolie is jealous? 

Sungyeol: but i'm not! -flips a table- 

Hoya: O.o

Sungyeol: e n e

Sungjong: you guys are weird

Myungsoo: well, let them have their moment now. Because we'll destroy it soon. 

Sungjong: really? So soon? But . . Can we not now? Can we drag this for a little longer? 

Sungyeol: yeah, it is fun OuO

Myungsoo: sure. He is our toy after all, we can do anything to him.

Sungjong: yey!! I can finally do 'that' to hyung!!

Myungsoo: -pats your head- thats good jong. Have fun and do everything you want. Woohyun-hyung's just an easy obstacle.

Sungyeol: speaking of woohyun-hyung, we should leave the chat now, before woohyun-hyung sees it again. 

-sungyeol left the conversation-

Dongwoo: I LOVE TOFU *^*

 

sungjong's making me curious. I wonder what he'll do to Sunggyu-hyung? Will he do the bad things he said he's been currently dreaming of? Or will he just hurt him? This is making me worried, because i badly want to be the first one to do anything. My thoughts were cut off when the manager called everyone except for me and the sick Sunggyu-hyung for some errands. Yes, we might be stars but we still run errands for the managers. 

 

"Hoya." The manager called. "Make sure no reporters come crashing in inside the dorm ok? And no spy cameras too." 

"Yes hyung." I answered. 

The truth is, Woohyun hyung didnt want to go run around the city for errands. He said he should stay for Sunggyu-hyung. But then, manager didn't let him. He said i could take care of Sunggyu instead. Manager hyung doesn't know a thing with the things thats actually happening between everyone. He thought that we just have brotherly tensions between us, but the truth is, it is more than a brotherly tension. Its . . Something unexplainable, but i know its wrong yet enjoyable.

 

After everyone left, i was left alone inside the cold dorm with a sick person. I busied myself with games in my device and funny shows in the TV. I also grabbed snacks in the kitchen while i watch and play on my device. I did everything i could just to let my thoughts float away from the sick and vulnerable leader inside that steamy hot room. I was doing great until i heard him grunt and moan. This put a smirk across my face. I remember everything Dongwoo told me. That i should take the first step on treating Sunggyu-hyung better because he clearly deserves it. It made me think. And it bothered me because i really like playing with my toy.

 

I approached the door of Sunggyu-hyung and Woohyun. I twisted the door knob determined to hear more of those delicious moans. I saw him there. Squirming uncomfortably in his bed and is deliciously . He is covered in beads of sweat and is tugging the covers. I approached him, with lust beaming my eyes. I crawled on top f him and lean in close to his face. Closer . . And closer and closer . . 

 

"H-hoya?" My actions were cut off with the sudden realization that my toy woke up. 

"Oh . . H-hyung, you're awake." I simply said.

"What are you doing?" He asked and i started to panic. I scanned my brain for any possible answer that i might give him or any actions that i can do to prevent this situation. "There was a big spider above your head hyung." I simply said while swatting the empty space above his head. "Oh there is?" He said. And i nodded still swatting the air above him. He then sat up, his face close to my shoulders, while i pretend that i'm shooing a big spider away. 

"Hoya . . Do you remember when we were still trainees and you pulled a prank on me?" He suddenly asked.

"Which one? About the fake tarantula?" 

"Yeah that one." He said and chuckled. "I remember you throwing a big fake tarantula at my head. I was so scared that i started panicking and ended up flailing it off of my head but instead, knocked off a table full of drinks and accidentally spilling some juice on Woohyun's favorite shirt. Do you remember that?" He asked. I stopped pretending to shoo a spider away and answered without changing my position. " yeah hyung, how could i forget? You had a fist fight with Woohyun that day."  "Yeah, it was awful." He answered.  

 

He rested his forehead at my shoulder and i flinched a little. He looked so vulnerable right now. however, there is something thats stoping me from pouncing on him. 

 

"Hoya its hot. Can you turn the AC on higher?" He requested.

"Hyung, its freezing." I stated. I felt his forehead and found out that he was hotter than when we left the studio.

"But its really hot." He said while softly punching my chest. Then i suddenly remember what my mom use to do to me whenever i'm boiling in fever and would complain that its hot inside the room. "Lie down for awhile hyung." I said and he gladly obliged. I then hurriedly ran out from his room and later on came back with a small tub of ice-cold water and a hand towel. "I'm back hyung." I said. I laid the small tub of cold water down the floor and helped Sunggyu-hyung sit up. 

 

I wetted the towel with the ice cold water then i put it inside the tub and damped it against his hot skin.

"That feels nice hoya." He said while stretching his neck. I just smiled and continued what i'm doing. Soon, i took his shirt off which revealed his snow-like pale skin. I remember once when the two of us were changing clothes, i saw with nothing but a pair of boxer-shorts. The sight of it was so intoxicating that it made me want to pounce on him. but Woohyun butted-in and my intentions were cut off. However, today? I suddenly lost the urge to touch him and hear him moan my name. But Today . . For some reason, i just want to take care of him.   

 

After a minute or so, i finished cooling his skin down and now, he says he feel better. 

He's just sitting there in his bed, his lower half covered with a blanket, slowly blinking his eyes. I looked at the time in my phone, and found out that its already 8:00 and the other's haven't gone home yet. I guess that errand wasn't just an errand? Well, either way, its already dinner time and i know i cant let a sick person starve. So without saying anything, i left his room and went to the kitchen and cook. I'm not really a cooking type of person so i'll just do what i can.

 

"H-hoya?" I turned around to see a Sunngyu-hyung covered from head to toe with a blanket. 

"Hyung, go back to bed." I said and shooed him away. 

"But something smells good." He retorted. He then sat at the dining table in his usual seat and laid his chin on the table. I turned around to focus on the congee that i'm cooking, and chuckled at his behavior. Soon, i finished my cooking and served it to Sunggyu-hyung. As soon as he saw the food, his tired expression immediately brightened up. 

 

"Hoya, this is good." He said while swallowing a mouthful of congee. 

"Don't lie hyung." I said " i know it tastes bad." 

"No really, its good." 

"Really?" 

"Really" 

"Then its good to know that you find it to your liking hyung." 

While the two of us eat the food i made, we exchange conversations and funny memories with each other. Even in the bad state of INFINITE right now, the both of us still managed to find something to laugh at. We reminisced the moments of us being trainees to the successful moments that we achieved. But . . Whenever the topic somehow stirs to the part when he messes up though it was really our fault, he changes the subject. I guess just like me, i want to laugh and smile for a change. Its nice to escape the truth once in a while. Even if its just for a mere minute, its good. As long as you forgot it. 

Soon, the two of us got uncomfortable with the dining chairs and moved to the couch in front of the TV. Our conversations got cut off by an interesting movie with a girl in braided hair with a bow and a blond boy seemingly weak boy. The two of us got engrossed with the movie that we didn't realize that we were cuddling with each other. Then in the movie, a girl named rue died and the lead female actress sang to her until she eventually dies. By the time the movie ended, its already 10 in the evening and yes, the others aren't back yet. I looked at the hamster in my arms and found him sound asleep. He must've slept half-way through the movie. I smiled to myself, because even in his sleep, he still looks good and cute. His good looks seem to never waver. I caressed his hair while he sleeps and soon, after 2 more movies, i found myself drifting to sleep. Sunggyu-hyung laid his head on my shoulders, and i laid my head on the top of his head. Without even bothering to turn off the TV, we slept. 

 

And thats when i realize it . . He's not a toy or an object of entertainment. 

 

He's my beloved hyung. 

 

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and upvote these are the only things that i want. especially the comment part. 

 

the song that seasang fans made . . well, i wasnt feeling evil that day so yeah, i guess it really aint good.