"Yah, Kim Sunggyu. You're messing up again." manager hyung calmly said but with a hint of dissappointment in his voice.

"The choreography isnt that hard. Even in my age, I know I can nail this one." 

"Its because he's old and weak hyung." piped in Sungyeol. 

"yeah . . now that we think about it, he is old, weak and . . oh yeah! fat!." yelled Sungjong. I can only look down on the floor and fiddle nervously with my hands.

They all laugh at me while i hung my head down. I feel like a little kid compared to them.

All I ever wanted in my life is to stand in a stage with roaring fans, to perform and sing my heart out. I was never insecure with what and who I am before. but now . . something changed. They broke the once unbreakable wall of my pride. The once happy and carefree Sunggyu was now replaced with a depressed overly conscious one.

I never hated mirrors. I dont mind whenever they are there or what ,mirrors used to be just a mirror to me. but now, I hate seeing it.

"Sunggyu." manger called out, making me lift my head up to meet his gaze.

"you will stay here and practice until you get that right. understood?" he said, i nodded. 

"so, lets start again." the music was played again and we all scramble to our positions. we danced while i still keep messing up. we sang, while i choke on my high notes. this is the first time i choked in my high notes.

"i thought only your body was a mess, but so is your voice? dont tell me you also need voice lessons?! what are you? a trainee?! your a freaking idol now! idols dont choke on their own voice." manager-hyung said, making the whole room quiet. even the boys dont speak a word. "this is petty Sunggyu. fix yourself."

since when have i been this pathetic? I've tried so hard. I even played with fate when i came to seoul. gambling my pride, my dad's trust in me, and every luxury i use to have. it was hard, but i still tried, and in the end, i succeeded. when i thought getting accepted here would be a heaven, i was wrong. i'm far from heaven, i'm still in hell.

we practiced again-and-again. even with our tired bodies, we still put all that we had in our practice. soon, the time to go home came, we hadnt had lunch and dinner yet, so going home would be very pleasant. but I, I have to stay and practice which will take . . who knows how long. 

"Boys, lets go home. Sunggyu, stay, and fix the mess that you are." even though it was against my will, i just nodded.

the boys scramble to their feet and made their way out of the practice room.

i heard sungyeol saying "lets eat meat!" and the others agreeing to what he said. i also want to eat too. i'm hungry. the kids ate their breakfasts, but i didnt. I was busy getting scolded by the CEO over something that i wasnt even responsible for. 

'its just a bad day . . it will be over soon.' i thought.

i waited once everyone got out and stood there in the deafining silence. i closed my eyes, trying to collect all my broken pieces before i start practicing. I once heard a sunbaenim said. " always clear your heart and mind before you do anything so that you can do it right."

i breathed out heavy air, made my way towards the stereo, and started practicing.

"you'll be fine Kim Sunggyu." i mummbled and started dancing again.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sunggyu-hyung got scolded again. He seems to be getting scolded recently, i wanted to help him, but all i can do is watch. I sit in the van in my usual seat, while i listen to the jeers and mock of the other members. It started as them liking the face that Sunggyu has when he's in pain or in trouble. they said he looks cute in that state. then, it became a hobby, then, something more serious, wrong, evil, and abusive. they cant see the pained heart of hyung or his mentality breaking down, all they see is his cute face when he's hurt. which, is something i dont find cute. i find it troubling. 

"Sunggyu-hyung is so weak." Sungjong suddenly stated. all of us looked at him and laughed in agreement. i, however, didnt. i only stare. 

"yeah." hoya said. " Remember when he got scolded this morning? he looked like such a cute kid! i wanted to squish him!"

"Oh!" Sungyeol piped in. "and when i tripped him during practice? he looked hopeless!!" they all laugh.

"but . . " Dongwoo suddenly said. "d-dont you think its t-too much?" the van grew silent.

"what do you mean too much?" Asked myungsoo. "this isnt too much at all!" he yelled angrily.

"so . . are you starting to oppose us?" asked Sungjong.

"n-no!" Dongwoo yelled in denial.

"do you want to suffer aswell as Sunggyu-hyung?" asked myungsoo, Dongwoo shook his head. " You dont aih? then . . just shut up and tag along." 

"how about you Woohyun-hyung?" asked Sungyeol. "dont you think this is fun?" they suddenly asked. and so, I straightened my posture and answered. "this so fun!" i yelled, making them go crazy in joy, but i continued. "So fun that . . i might shoot your heads with a gun, hit you with a wrecking ball, and bury you alive in cement so that i can keep Sunggyu-hyung to myself." they were terrified with what i said, and it was clearly written in their faces. The van grew silent in fear of what i said.

infront of the cameras, i'm a greasy cheese ball that seemed so harmless, but off cam, i am a mentally disturbed person to the members even though i am not. To Sunggyu-hyung, i'm his bestfriend that cares so much for him. deep inside of me, i only put up a scary act to my memebers because they need to fear someone. 

we all arived at a meat shop to get ready for dinner. The boys grabbed everything they want to eat since its the manager's treat today. They were all jumpy and happy about the meat but i know someone who'd propobly be starving by now, since he hasnt had a proper meal at all. 

Sunggyu.

"manager!! pay for these now! we're starving! hurry so we could all go home and eat!" sungyeol said.

"fine, fine, give me those things you bought." manager said while taking out his black leather wallet. 

everyone jumped or clapped in glee while manager pays for everything we took. after our food business, we went home and started cooking. I, being the best cook in the house, started cooking. Dongwoo decided to help me. Dongwoo chops the side dishes while i grill the meat. It was complete silence, when suddenly, Dongwoo decided to speak up. 

"nee . . hyun, how do you think Sunggyu-hyung is doing?" he asked, making me stop what i'm doing.

"i dont know." i answered. "but i hope he's fine." dongwoo slowly nodded.

"but. . " i continued. " i hope all of this stops. its becoming too much." Dongwoo remained silent. 

after awhile, Dongwoo-hyung and i were done cooking. we served the food at the table and everyone immidiately flocked to the table. they all grabbed their own bowls and utensils and started eating noisily like children. all of the seats were occupied except for one: Sunggyu's. 

All of them didnt care if he's probably tired and hungry right now. They dont care if he's mentally and physically suffering from all this unnecessasry stress they'd cause him. They dont care. All they care is their own desires of seeing his troubled face which they find into their liking. its sickening.

soon, all of the food that me and dongwoo prepared are all gone. They didnt even bother to save anything for Sunggyu. They're selfish too. I tried saving something, but they always end up eating it. Annoying . . how can i forget that.

the boys cleaned up and did everything they wanted and soon, went to bed. i read a few music sheets before i also headed my way to sleep. however, as much as i want to, i couldnt. my thoughts kept on flying about Sunggyu. how is he? is he tired? well, starving ofcourse, but is he alright? i mean, he has a weak heart afterall. I asked the manager if i could bring Sunggyu some food, but he gave me a bogus answer. 

"if he i somewhat stopped being your manager, then, yes. you may."

i wanted to punch him right at that spot. if he werent my manager, then i swear, i could've beaten him up to a pulp. but atleast, I'll get to see Sunggyu tomorrow . . so i guess its fine. 

i made myself comfortable at the bed, hugged a few thick pillows and let dream land take me away.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

i stood at the wooden floor supported by my knees. i feel bombs of sweat roll down my face and i wipe them off using the back of my hands.  

"just a little more and it will be perfect." i sad. "just a little more." 

i shakingly stood up again and limpingly walked towards my spot. limpingly, because i sprained my foot awhile ago. when my vision suddenly got blurry and i accidentally made the wrong step. if woohyun was here right now, he'd scold me for not resting. but the ting is, he's not here. i danced again to the same music, to the same moves, and to the same pain shooting in my right foot. i did the same dance move that caused me to limp, and sure enough, i fell because of the pain again. i slowly made myself stand up and limpingly made my way in one of the benches and sat down. i rested my head against the wall behind me. i looked at the clock, and saw that it was already 3am. they left me here 8 hours ago. i havent had any food in my stomach yet and i'm starving. i looked for my wallet in my bag to find it missing. the kids must have taken them again. i guess, i'm stuck here with my tired hungry self. 

i decided that i cannot do any proper practice unless i fix my sprained ankle. i took my shoes and socks off to find my right foot red and swollen. i searched my bag for any menthol ointment and  bandage. luckily i did. i applied some menthol ointment to my aching foot and felt it soothing. i covered my right foot in bandage and wince everytime the bandage touches the painful part of my foot. i breathe heavily once i'm done dressing my foot. i hugged my knees, rested my head in them and decided to sleep for awhile. i do feel quite tired afterall. 

i was about to close my eyes and sleep when suddenly, the door flew open. 

it was Shin-hyung. Another manager for another group in woolim. 

"Oh! Sunggyu! you're still here! i thought there was a ghost or something." he said while scratching his neck.

"oh hyung, you're still here?" i said while releasing my knees from my tight hug. 

"yeah, i had to take care of some things. and you?"

"practice." i answered and winced once my foot landed the floor.

"practice at this late hour?" he said while walking towards me to inspect my foot.

"well .. i havent perfected the new song yet, so i had to stay and practice it." 

Shin-hyung gently grabbed my right foot and started removing the bandages. "no wonder you cant perfect it, you sprained your foot!" 

"y-yeah . ." i answered. Shin-hyung looked up to me and forrowed his eyebrows in concern. "you look pale." he said while feeling the temperature of my forehead. "well, you dont feel hot. a little cold actually. is the AC ?" i shook my head. "its not? then . . why do you feel cold?" he asked.

"have you eaten anything yet?" he asked. i shook my head. "you havent? its almost morning now, maybe you should eat, go home and rest." 

"but i cant." i said. "i havent perfected the new song. heck, i even choke on my high notes!" i stated. he, however, twisted my foot making me grab the edge of the bench and moan in pain. i felt my eyes blury from tears and so i wiped them off.

"do you think you can practice at this state?" he asked. "Do you?!!" he yelled which made me flinch. he's scary when he's angry, the main reason why his dongsengs fear him. i shook my head.  

"good, dont protest now got it? if your foot got worse, then you'd be useless." he grabbed his bag and took out a bottle of therapy oil. he poured it to his hands and started massaging my foot. it hurts whenever he puts pressure in the painful spot. i bite the sleeve of my jacket whenever he puts too much pressure in my foot. it was really painfull and so my eyes started accumulating tears. i muffle my moansof pain by clamping my mouth shut by biting my lower lip, but it seems that my efforts of muffling my moans were proven worthless when a moan escaped my lips.

"ahh!!" i said, and immidiately covered my mouth.

"oh . . sorry." he said.

his touches became more gentler after that, and soon, he signalled that he was done.

"next time, take care of your foot so that you can practice more." he said while bandaging my foot.

"now, you have to rest this foot or else it might get worse again."

"what?!!" i exclaimed. "but i have to practice!!"

"no sunggyu, if you dont want to be a burden, then do as i say. i'll go talk to your manager."  

"what? no!!" i retorted.

"and why if i may ask?"

"because .. " my voice trailed off. I dont want to tell him. my tears will fall if i tell him. i promised myself that i wont cry anymore. I dont want anyone to know . . they'll tell me everything that i am. weak. useless. dumb . . an idiot.

"because . . ?" he asked. i didnt answer.

"c'mon Sunggyu, you can trust me. i wont tell." somehow, he knew. He knew telling him the reason would stir something that isnt good inside me. But in the end, i gave in. i couldnt hold in his soft stare any longer. its suffocating. 

i hug my knees, wincing a little because of my injured foot. "because they'll call me weak and useless . . " i told him. i dont know why, but i just had to. i thought, somehow, i needed some of the pain out. even for just a moment.

a moment . . is enough for me. even for just a short time, i need it out. i need it out . .  

he held my shoulders while i fight the urge to cry. Crying . . since when have i been crying? since our debut days? eversince we won our first award? 4 months ago? i dont know, i lost track.

"nee, lets just . . try and forget about now." he suddenly said, breaking the heavy and depressive silence. 

he patted my back and reached for my hand, and i gladly took it. "lets eat" he said. and for the first time in who knows how long, i smiled.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My senses suddenly jolted up, making me wake up. I glance at the clock beside my bed, and saw that it was 4:30. I looked at the bottom bunk where Sunggyu sleeps and surprisingly, found it empty. 4:30, and he's still not here. He's still practicing, and from as far as i know, INFINITE will be starting the day exactly one hour from now. 

I went down from the top bunk because i'm beggining to be worried. I need that fragile thing, home. NOW.

I opened the door to our room and found Sunngyu behind it, and from the looks of it, he was just about to open the door to our room. He looks pale and tired. He was all sweaty too. It looks like he havent changed his clothes yet. 

"oh ..  woohyun. i see you're up so early." he tiringly said while slowly blinking his tired eyes. 

"I see you just got home." i said. "have you perfected the new song yet?" i asked. he slightly smiled and nodded his head.

"Shin-hyung asked me to eat out, but i said no." he said. " I still need to practice afterall." he added. i nodded.

"woohyun . . i would love to stay and chat, but i''m extremely tired." he said

you dont have to tell me Sunngyu, i could clearly see it. I even saw all the changes that happened to you. You suddenly lost alot of weight. you always seemed so nervous all the time. You always look tired. whenever the other members approach you, you would stiffen up, like waiting for something bad to happen to you. You stopped being a leader. and most of all . . you stopped smiling. well, you do smile at fans, but its diffrent from your real smile, the smile i missed so much. i wonder when will i be able to see it? 

i moved over so that Sunggyu could pass and enter our room. but he . . he was limping. 

"yah, what happened to your foot?' i asked. 

"I . . I had an accident." he answered. "but its fine now. Shin-hyung took care of it." 

Sunggyu plopped down in his bed and as soon as his head hit the pillows, he fell asleep. I covered him with a blanket just beneath his chin and went over the top bunk to continue my sleep.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was woken up by woohyun's loud voice, begging me to wake up. 

"hyung . . wake up, we need to go soon and start our schedule." he said while nudging me awake. "hyuuuunnnngggg" he yelled.

My head throbbed in pain once i opened my eyes. my stomach twisted and i feel like vomiting. My body felt heavy but i forced myself to sit up, signaling woohyun that i'm awake and theres no need to yell anymore. 

"I'm u-up . ." i told him. he eyed me for awhile before saying something. " are you alright? you look . . sick." he asked while feeling the temperature of my forehead. I playfully swatted his hands and said: "I'm fine, no need to worry." But woohyun, I'm actually thankful. I'm thankful someone noticed.

I stood up and felt that my foot got better, but my head throbbed in pain even more. I feel my knees weak and would just suddenly fall down the floor any minute now. yes, I feel sick. I feel very sick.

I immidiately ran towards the bathroom and slammed the door shut once i felt my stomach turn even more and a force being thrown out my throat.

"Hyung breakfa-" was the last thing i heard woohyun say before i hurried my way to the bathroom. I emptied the contents of my stomach which i thought was empty until now. My chest felt a little tight, but the tightness was bearable. Bearable to get through the day. Once i finished vomiting, i flushed down the toilet and stared at the mirror. 

I look like a mess. 

Beads of sweat run down my face and my eyes are red, Propably from the lack of sleep. My hair is a mess and my bangs are stuck to my forehead because of my sweat. My head throbbed and everything spun around me and so I grabbed the edge of the sink in attemps to steady myself. and luckily, it did. I decided to take a shower. thinking, maybe it would relax me a little. 

I took my clothes off and headed for the shower stall. I felt the cold water turn warm against my aching muscles, and soon enough, the throbbing pain in my head, subsided. 

afterawhile, i left the bathroom feeling a little better. I wrapped my lowerhalf in towel and headed to my room to change my clothes. I picked the clothes that i feel confident in and went outside again to eat. To eat after 24 hours of nothing. All of the members are eating silently. Either, fidling with their devices, reading sheet music, memorising lines, eating silently, or just down-right smirking creepily at me. i ignore their evil smiles and focused on the food infront of me.

"boys, lets go. we'll be late if we dont go now." manager-hyung yelled while scanning his list in his phone of things to do. The boys immidiately got up in their seats and went to the van. I grabbed my juice and drank it in one gulp and also ran after them. We sat on our usual seats and drove off. Today's schedule will take us to faraway places. Meaning, sleep. 

I inserted my earphones and listened to the music that's currently playing on my shuffle, I dont even know that i actually had this song in my shuffle. The things we do huh? Manager hyung orriented us on the things we'll do today but i didnt listen, even if its my job to do so. i feel like .. i shouldnt because i'm not fit for the job. Soon, i felt the engine of the car start and the car move along with it. I looked back at the members to see what they are doing, and just like all the other times, they are all busy with their devices. I laid my head against the cold glass window while staring at the moving surrounding. Seoul, as early as this looked gloomy with the dark clouds and the expressionless people. It's just 5am and people are already busy with their jobs and school. Just like us INFINITE, they work hard too. 

The trip to whereever were going is awfully long and so, i closed my eyes hoping to catch the missed sleep while the sound of water hitting against glass can be heard throughout despite the devices in our ears. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hoya: what is he doing now?

Myungsoo: I dont know, sleeping? 

Sungyeol: well, he did go home prerty late last night . . i mean awhile ago.

Dongwoo: Awhile ago?

Sungyeol: yeah, i think he went home at 4am.

Sungjong: 4am?! Hyung is hardcore.

Hoya: I bet he feels sick right now. 

Myungsoo:  Who wouldnt! i mean, if i was asked by manager to practice until i get it right, i wouldnt. I'd go around the city and have fun with ladies~

Sungyeol: Eww myung, i didnt know you were this erted. 

Myungsoo: well, its either the ladies or-

Sungjong: or what?

Myungsoo: The ladies . . or Sunggyu-hyung.

Hoya: WHAT?!

Sungyeol: eww  myung!! fix yourself!!

Dongwoo: . . . 

Sungjong : but . . 

Sungyeol:  but what?

Sungjong: i dont think myung is the only one who fantasises about Sunggyu-hyung. right?

Hoya: . . . 

Sungyeol: . . . 

Sungjong: i see . .

Dongwoo: i dont o/

Myungsoo: see? so i'm not the only here. 

Sungjong: This is disturbing.

Myungsoo: wanna do something fun to him?

Hoya: Like what?

Myungsoo: aigoo dont be all clueless on me hoya, i know that you know what i mean.

Dongwoo: Are you-

Myungsoo: yes. you thought right.

Woohyun: Yah, what the hell is this?!

Hoya: omg . . -runs away-

Sungjong: Hyung .. i thought you arent in this group chat?

Sungyeol: yeah, i even put a password in it, and made the group's name unsuspicious.

Woohyun: Only a fool can fall for that. Sungyeol . . naming the group "unsuspicious" and making the password "password" is stupid. You chodding . . aishh you'll need to eat more nuts before anyone of you can outsmart me. and as for you myung, LAY.OFF.

myungsoo: and why? 

Woohyun: He's mine. 

Myungsoo: we'll see about that ..  

Myungsoo: and i swear . . i'll outsmart you. I'l find a way and we both know I always do.

Woohyun: then . . I'll keep an eye on him.

Myungsoo: Goodluck on that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Seen by everyone 5:57am

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________     

Woohyun . . even though he looked so tough he was afraid. He knows Myungsoo always finds a way. A way in everything he wants. He slept with countless women, and yet, not a single one-night-stand reached the news. He's sneaky . . sneaky like a wolf he is. 

Woohyun knowing that Myungsoo planned such a thing will be careful around Sunggyu. Woohyun knows that Sunggyu's fragile right now, so fragile that he's sure that he'll break anytime soon.

"Hyun." Dongwoo called out.

"what." Woohyun coldly answered.

"Do you think myung will really do it?" he asked almost in a whisper so that no one can hear their conversation.

"I should take him seriously . . even if it sounds cliche, I still need to think of this as a threat."

"I want to help but . . i dont think i'll be able to do anything." Dongwoo said with a frown.

"just . . stay close to myung and tell me anything that he's going to plan." 

"I'll do that." Dongwoo answered.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

we arrived at our destination. I glanced at my watch to see that its already 9:23 am. so i guess i slept for 4 hours, which is good enough for me. The boys and I got out from the car, headed to our own private room and got ready. But i, i didnt follow them. I figured maybe I can squeez in some practice while I wait for my turn to get dressed. I roamed around the building to find an empty and quiet place where i can practice and soon enough, i did. I played our new song in my shuffle so no one can hear our new song. I cleared my head and started dancing. 

I practiced the song over and over again until . . the familiar pain in my stomach and head came back. Taking away the clarity in my head, I crouched down and hugged my stomach while leaning over the wall so that i wont fall down. 'why is this happening to me?' i thought. 'am i really such a bad person?'

I shakingly stood up and headed to a nearby comfort room to hide from anyone who might see me in pain, afraid that they might mock me. I locked the door and leaned over the sink. I looked at the mirror and saw my ugly sweaty self, I swear, I wanted to punch the mirror. I'm so frustrated at myself right now. Why am i always failing? cant i be good at anything for once?

"Hyung? are you in there?" Someone said while knocking on the door. Woohyun.

"yeah hyun, I'm here, i'll be out in a minute." I replied, trying not to sound so worn out as possible.

"oh . . then we'll wait for you in the dressing room." he answered. I heard his footsteps move away and so i breathe out a sigh of relief. 

'he's gone now, he wont hear me.' i thought. 

When i finally decided that the pain i'm experiencing just wont go away, I decided to get out and head towards our dressing room. While I walk, people stare at me like I did something really bad and they knew it. I hung my head down and gripped the hem of my shirt in attemps of possibly ignoring their uncomfortable stares. No matter how hard I try to ignore their gazes, I couldnt. Its like they're shooting daggers at me, and it hurts . . alot. 

After walking for what seemed like a thousand years to me, i reached the dressing room. 

Everyone inside the room looked at me wide-eyed. I dont like being stared at, especially by them. I feel so bare around them. like i'm an open book and they could clearly see every secret i hold. even those secret cold nights i spend under the sweet rain.  

"Hyung . ." Woohyun called out, returning me to reality. "You look pale, what's wrong?" he asked.

"uhh . . i'm just nervous." I answered. 

"nervous" Sungyeol mocked. "Aigoo, he just wants to go back in time to regain his old age." everyone laughed at what he said, except for woohyun. He was looking at me with outmost concern. i wanted to say 'thanks' to him, but . . I just cant seem to talk to anyone properly anymore. its like . . they've rendered me speecheless. 

I was lightly pushed by woohyun to sit down on one of the stylist noona's chairs to get fixed up.

"Sunggyu . . looks like i need to cover up your pale face." she said, i looked at the mirror and saw how horrible i looked and so i stared back down in my lap. The stylists did such a great job at me that the traces of my pale and sick face was burried in natural looking make-up.

Soon, we all headed for the backstage and waited for our turn to perform. I watch the group who's currently performing and found them all good looking and perfect. I felt a slice of my self-confidence slide off at the sight of them. 

I looked at myungsoo who was whispering something to sungyeol and snickering. They kept looking at me and laughing like i'm some sort of a gag-show.

"Sunggyu-hyung . . . that group . . . he wants . . " i heard them say. They were whispering, but it was quite audible. 

I tried to look away but suddenly, everything around me started spinning. I grabbed the railing at the stage for the stairs to steady myself up. Suddenly, my stomach started hurting and my head throbbing in pain. i clutched the edge of my shirt and bit my lip to ease some of the pain, however, this does nothing. 

"and the next is . . INFINITE!!!" the MC announced while the crowd cheered. The boys and i stood in our positions as the music started playing. We danced and sang perfectly to the song. I smiled at the crowd even if i'm in so much pain right now and could barely see anything properly.

'Just a little bit more.' i thought. 'just a little bit more until the song is over.'

I was suppose to head for the right side of the stage when suddenly, my head throbbed in a unimaginable pain. I clenched my fist in attemps to calm myself a little, but accidentally hit Myungsoo who was sent tripping hoya, making him push me and lose my balance.

I sat on the ground while cluching my hair in pain. I . . couldnt take this. 

I looked around my sorroundings when i heard our music stopping. I saw everyone starring at me, eying me with such disappointment. Fans with worried or disappointed faces, the boys looking at me with such anger and irritation, even the only person i trust seems to hate me now, Woohyun. The MC had her hand over as if trying not to let a gasp escape . I looked over manger-hyung only to see him slowly shaking his head. The group who performed was also there, watching me with pure horror. 

I .. ruined everything. 

I immidiately stood up and ran away from the stage passing everyone who had such a mean gaze. I ran out of the studio and headed towards the comfort room while locking and slamming the door in the process. I walked over the corner of the comfort room, sat in the cold floor while hugging my knees and rested my head against my knees.

"Hyung!! Hyung!!" someone yelled while banging the door.

"Open the door hyung!!" he yelled again.

My eyes suddenly felt heavy with tears that are threatning to fall. I blinked those tears away, not caring if it would make my eyes red, making my weak awful self obvious, or staining the expensive clothes i'm waring right now. 

I know that the boys have practiced so hard for this comeback because i've seen them practice until they cant feel their feet anymore, but all their hardwork's ruin because of me. I ruined our perfect comeback. the perfectly syncronized group called INFINITE will no longer be called that. I ruined our reputation.

To think, their own leader brought upon destruction to them. 

I continued to cry to myself even until i heard the shuffling of feet, the desperate pleas for me to open up, the loud banging of the door, and the noisy clangs of keys. 

I promised myself that i'll try not to cry or punish myself anymore. But it looks like . . i may have to do it again.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Comment 

Subscribe

Upvote       these are the only things i want. 

(sorry it took me awhile to update, i write this one on a laptop but that certain laptop isnt mine so i dont have it all the time with me. My other story is updated using my Ipad so i was able to do it. {write it in notes+copy and paste+post} )