Written by: xXVeronica101Xx

Proof read and edited by: EternallyLoved

A/N: Refer to Chapter 9, this flashback is set after the flashback in that chapter!

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Over time, I find myself only looking to you, only thinking of you, only wanting you...only loving you.

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The running engines of the plane prevented a conflicted Luhan from have rational thoughts as he fidgeted in his seat, occasionally running his fingers over the metal buckle of his seat belt dangling idly in his lap. Chewing at his lip unconsciously, the latter stretched out his legs and gazed at the nearly empty first class area of the plane, where the sounds of the motor was the quietest. The petite male was rather unsettled from his actions of turning his gaze consistently to watching the screen of his entertainment device to the clear skies outside.

'You okay Luhan?' A curious Kai questioned, concerned at a slightly tense and jumpy Luhan continuously diverting from the actions of flicking through a magazine to watching a movie, and then changing to staring blankly to the blue outside. The older male seemed to have not heard Kai in the midst of his distress, sitting with a hand lingering on the cold window panel of the plane. It wasn't until a gentle hand was eased on to the honey-blonde's arm does the male respond with a startled jerk in his seat.

'Sorry, did you say something?' Luhan mumbled out embarrassed as a rising pink tinted his cheeks at his lack of attention paid previously to his companion. Shifting his position slightly, and sliding the cold metal of the belt to the spare side of his seat, the latter glimpsed briefly towards the flight journey displayed before turning to watch a concerned Kai. The tanned male dropping his hand down, causing the tips of his fingers to graze gently against the exposed flesh of Luhan drifted his fingers downwards to a stop once the 2 males' hands entwined.

'It's alright, I'm just worried about you.' The taller male stated, turning his body to face the smaller directly and raising a spare hand to tuck away a loose strand of honey-brown hair straying over the older male's face. 'Do you think you've made the right choice?' The dancer continued, watching the latter's expression as Luhan's eyes wavered and glimmered with the start of fraying tears.

'I-I know I s-shouldn't Kai, b-but I-I, I can't help it...' Luhan stuttered out holding back a squeak as Kai brought their faces closer, clutching the petite male into his chest. Stifling pitched sobs into the fabric of the tanned male's shirt, Luhan felt tears stream down his face, wetting the cotton material of the taller's jersey. 'I-I s-still love him.' Luhan whispered as he closed his eyes, feeling the remainders of his tears roll down his cheeks, soaking into Kai's clothes. 

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*Flashback- 2 Years Ago*

'Your brother is no longer with us.' The doctor spoke in a careful tone as if to not let the impact of the information hit Sehun full on and cause the male to go into immediate shock, becoming unable to recover from the impact of this. The young dancer stood still for a moment, unmoving even when a clipboard with an arduous amount of information sheet was held towards him.

Sehun who stood staring blankly at the piece of paper with the characters blurring in his eyes and shifting from place to place making the male dizzy became unable to process the facts. Adverting his gaze and scrutinizing at the chipped marble floor in silent contemplation of what the doctor had just declared, only after a long silence of staring blankly at the ground does the doctor bend down in a slow and tested motion to place the clipboard on to the floor in front of the frozen male.

An eery silence passing through the seemingly empty hospital corridors, the doctor seemed alerted for a brief second before fetching around in his white uniform to take out a wrinkled, white envelope dirtied and marked with dried blood. Hands hesitant and reluctant, the doctor had held out the material in a nervous manner, waiting for the younger male to react.

Breath shallow and uneven, Sehun reached out uncertainly and took the enclosed paper with shaking hands. Bowing his head in the process with stiffness in tact, the younger caught faint scents of blood that seeped towards the male in dreadful swifts of air. Studying the envelope as the noises in the hallway grew muffled and eventually silent, the brunette stood head bent, gripping tightly on to the letter that his brother had left.

The latter's body that shook ultimately in denial, Sehun glimpsed up after passing minutes to watch through damp eyes as the doctor spoke to the latter in a grim manner, patting reassuringly on the younger's shoulder and leaving the male to his thoughts after a sympathetic smile. Eventually snapping out of a trance, Sehun clumsily picked up the information sheet the doctor had left and made his way to Seungtae's hospital room before the male's body would be taken away to be disposed.

Eyes watery, and hands still shaking, the brunette male placed uneasy fingers upon the door handle to the room number indicated on the sheet. Turning the metal encased into the wood in reluctance, Sehun stepped hesitantly into the room, watching with a pained expression as the male bit his lips gazing sadly at an unmoving figure lying under a stark white sheet.

Striding to the right side of the hospital bed with a shake in every step taken, Sehun reached out with trembling fingers and lifted the sheet partially off his brother, gazing with a grimace as he stared at the b