A/N : Thank you for the 3.1k subbies and 400+ upvotes! =D

Jong Dae woke up with a groan before slowly opening his eyes to the blinding light of his dorm room. He stared at the ceiling light for a moment longer before realizing that it was on and he definitely switched it off yesterday. He got up slowly because his head was still throbbing from fatigue and his body was aching all over. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light and he was sitting upright on his bed, Jong Dae scan the room and was taken aback when he saw someone hovering over Baek Hyun's bed who was definitely not Baek Hyun.

Jong Dae quietly reached over to his dressing table and took the long flashlight from the drawer before slowly getting up from the bed. Jong Dae took in a deep breath before opening his mouth, "Stop whatever you are doing right now before I call the police." The guy turned around and looked very nonchalant about the situation for a robber which confused Jong Dae so he pointed the torchlight a little closer towards the intruder as a weapon with a look in his face that he hopes display fierceness. "I said stop, now."

"What are you doing?" The intruder said with annoyance and Jong Dae deflate a little from this. He was hoping that the intruder would just leave or get caught off guard but he seemed to be giving Jong Dae attitude at his own room.

"I'm not scared of you." Jong Dae stated and walked a little closer with a glare because this intruder was pissing him off slighty.

"Jong Dae, put down the flashlight, you look really stupid like that." He replied again with the same indifferent tone.

"Now listen here-" Jong Dae started before it registered to him, "Wait, how do you know my name?"

"I'm a SM trainee too and we have trained together?" It was a statement or a question, Jong Dae wasn't sure because he couldn't comprehend the situation.

"You're-you're not a robber?" Jong Dae asked ridiculously.

"I'm a what?"

"A robber." Jong Dae repeated firmly and the intruder just laughed, leaving Jong Dae standing awkwardly with his arm still stretched out in front of him so he quickly lowered the torchlight and at the same time trying to make the heat in his cheeks go away. "Who are you?"

"Chan Yeol." 

Chan Yeol? Like Baek Hyun's friend Chan Yeol? So he is-

"Chan Yeol hyung, are you done?" A familiar voice called from outside the room and he could hear footsteps approaching the room and Jong Dae started panicking because he knew who it was. He tried finding a place to run away but the only way out was the door currently being opened by the boy he wished he didn't have to face right now. "I think it's time to-oh, Jong Dae hyung, you're awake." Jong Dae never thought it was possible for the younger's voice to change from upbeat to sadness that quickly. He could feel his throat turning dry and not just from sleep.

"Sehunnie." Jong Dae breathed out before regretting how painful it sounded. "What are you doing here?"

"I-we came to pack some stuff for Baek Hyun hyung to change into, he's being discharged from the hospital today." Sehun said quickly to make it sound like it doesn't take effort to make his voice sound normal in front of Jong Dae. "Do you-would you like to come with?" Sehun asked quietly but Jong Dae heard it loud and clear.

"I can't." Jong Dae replied automatically, a little harsher than he intented which was good but it also felt wrong and bitter coming out from his mouth. "I'm busy." He added quickly before collecting his own clothes to lock himself in the bathroom until he knows both of them had left.

"Hyung-" Sehun tried again but Jong Dae was already out the door and Sehun doesn't even dare to look up at Chan Yeol because he predicted exactly this.

~~~

There was absolutely no sound coming from the whole dorm, Jong Dae made sure of it before carefully stepping out of the bathroom. He heard another door open and he was about to jump back into the bathroom when another trainee that lived in their small dorm walked out and gave Jong Dae a tiny wave. Jong Dae nodded at him as he exhaled and scolded himself for still choosing to avoid all his problems. Being strong is not hiding your feelings and dealing with them by pushing them deep inside of you because one day it would break you from the inside out. Baek Hyun's voice echoed in his ears and Jong Dae shook away the guilt wrapping around his body like a cocoon because he promised Baek Hyun to be strong but he was everything but.

At moments like this, Jong Dae found himself lost and small because this world was cruel so people like him who try so hard to fit in seemed to be trampled on more often. To get himself back at the right state of mind and in hopes of getting rid of his depression, Jong Dae did the only thing he remembered that always helped him to relax in the past. He got into some sweat pants, a battered t-shirt and running shoes before hooking his ears with buds connected to the iPod to block out the awful Seoul traffic noises. He walked leisurely to the nearby park and tried his best to let go of all the pent up frustration.

There were happier times, Jong Dae remembered clearly because he fought to keep them fresh in his mind. While running, he let his legs move forward while his brain slows down with better moments of his trainee life. He remembered sharing ddeokbukki with all the new trainees right after they were told they got in because they needed to celebrate but they were too broke for anything fancy. Even so, the ddeokbukki they had that one time at the stall nearby the training centre wa