[title track: run - hozier]
[this is even longer than the last one omg wtf]

chapter 26;
(part 2)

 

The next morning, you trudge into the kitchen sporting one of worst headaches in your life, extra annoyed because you had woken up to an empty bed.

“He left you some aspirin on the counter.” Kim Joonmyun’s voice greets you the moment you step into the kitchen and you force down your startled reaction, instead opting to ignore his presence. You don’t care if you’re being rude; you’re not in the mood for conversation.

On the counter, beside the coffee maker, there are a couple aspirin tablets and a neon orange sticky note. You quickly swallow them, along with a swig of water, before turning your attention to the sticky note, familiar handwriting cramped down the front of the sticky note.

Make sure to drink lots of water and get some rest. There’s leftover takeout in the fridge and snacks in the pantry. I think. I hope. Text me if you need anything. I checked how much you drank and I am genuinely concerned. I need you to explain to me how the hell you drank so much. Are you an alcoholic? Also I just got off the phone with Jessica. She yells loudly, please check in with her before she finds me and tries to kill me. Also text me!!!

There’s a little arrow at the end and you smile as you flip the sticky note over. All that’s written is a small ily along with a small, cutesy heart and you roll your eyes at the cheesiness of it, unable to keep the grin off your face.

“Cute, isn’t he?” You jump at Joonmyun’s voice, glancing over your shoulder. He’s staring at you, smile kind but eyes incredibly unamused and unkind. He’s sitting at the round kitchen table, his elbows on the table and his hand under his chin.

Slowly, you turn around and face Joonmyun. You lean back on the counter and rub your temples. “Are you here to threaten me?”

Joonmyun blinks, the unkind expression melting from his face only to be replaced by surprise. “How’d you know?”

“You just had that whole threatening atmosphere going on.” You respond, gesturing at him tiredly, before you head to the fridge. “It’s pretty effective, honestly.”

“There’s bread in the pantry. I’m sure you don’t want anything too heavy after drinking that much. And thanks I try.” He says, nodding towards the pantry. You mumble a soft thanks before shutting the fridge door and rummaging for the toast. You pop two pieces of bread into the toaster when Joonmyun clears his throat. You look up at him and he eyes you seriously. “I was told not to trust you.”

“Where’s the jam?” You ask, sleepily.

Joonmyun points to the fridge. “Second shelf, right against the door.”

“Thanks.” You say as you grab it. Then you turn back to him, bleary eyed as you smear jam on your toast, your stomach grumbling. “Let me guess? It was Jongin, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve had my own suspicions and usually Jongin is incredible at character judgment.” Joonmyun states, eyes unblinking as he stares at you steadily.

You hold out a piece of toast and Joonmyun shakes his head. Shrugging, you take a bite and slowly chew, observing the way Joonmyun leans forward and watches you with careful eyes. “I don’t want to hurt him.” You say truthfully.

It’s silent for a long time as he holds your gaze, eyes unwavering. Finally he sighs, chair sliding back as he stands up. “I guess I don’t need to give you the whole hurt-him-and-I’ll-hurt-you speech, but just know that you’ve already hurt him once. I won’t hesitate to rip you limb from limb if you do it again, and I’m sure the other boys would gladly join me.”

“Good to know.” You tell him, nodding. You shiver internally at his threat, knowing full well that Joonmyun isn’t bluffing. Beneath kind eyes lies a very terrifying and calculating person.

Joonmyun just looks at you, expression taut. “Don’t die either. That’ll piss me off more.”

You can’t help but smile at that and Joonmyun just shoots you a small grin, eyes kinder than usual, before he walks out of the kitchen, leaving you alone.
 

~.~.~.~.~

You’re leaving class when you see Yongguk walking down the hall, straight towards you. You hadn’t gotten any new texts from him and you’ve been worried sick over what could be happening to Minhee right now because of your negligence.

You make a beeline for the opposite direction, intent on avoiding Yongguk at all costs. Except someone grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into an empty classroom. You turn on your heels to look at him, intent on hiding your anxiety from him, but you’re sure he can sense it anyway.

“It was very clever of you to get drunk in order to him.” Yongguk says, without preamble. There’s a flicker of guilt in his eyes, even as he towers over you, smirking. He leans down so he can face you at eye level and speaks in a strangely gentle tone. It makes you tense with caution. You wrinkle your nose at his proximity. “I was serious about not wanting you to get hurt, Sooyong-ah. But this was a sacrifice I had to make.”

“You listened in on…everything?” You ask, confused because Yongguk seems to think something actually happened between Baekhyun and you last night.

Yongguk laughs at that, deep voice rumbling too close to your ears. “I’m not a ert. When you began I turned off the mic. I’d rather not hear him ing you, Sooyong-ah.”

You stare at him with slight disgust, his eyes twinkling in amusement as he stares down at you. You push back the momentary disgust and digest the new information, filing away the fact Yongguk turns off the chip whenever he thinks you’re having with Baekhyun.

Then Yongguk slowly breaks into a wild grin, teeth bared in a way that looks incredibly intimidating. He steps closer to you and you watch him, warily. “Of course, now that you know, I’d like to tell you that I don’t plan on turning it off again.” A hand falls to the side of your face and you try your best to ignore the way his fingers thread through a few loose strands framing your face, his cold fingers lingering against your cheek. “I recognize that look. You’re not going to get out of this, sweetheart, so stop thinking so much. There are no loopholes for you to jump through.” His breath fans across your face and you look to the side, focusing on one of the empty desks. “Just make this easier for both of us and give yourself up to me.”

You exhale shakily when his fingers linger on your skin for much longer than necessary. When his fingers drift down your cheek and along the collar of your blouse, you shove him away, stepping around him. You’re at the classroom door when Yongguk starts laughing, almost maniacally.

“You’re doing well, Sooyong-ah.” He calls after you, tone drenched in amusement and mock encouragement. “Keep up the good work.”

You feel sick to your stomach and you glare at him, your fingers clenching around the doorknob. “Don’t touch me like that ever again.”

“Fighting!” He calls after you, mockingly, even as you slam the door shut behind you, leaving him alone in the dark, empty classroom. His laughter echoes in your head long after you leave the room.

~.~.~.~.~

You want to avoid Baekhyun, but you can’t. You always end up crawling back into his arms, whether you’re in his house and there’s a meeting or when you decide it’s time to visit your own neglected apartment. Somehow he ends up coming with you, lounging on your couch as he flips through channel after channel while you pick up another bag of clothes. Sometimes, you end up dropping your bag of clothes at the edge of the couch and find yourself curling up beneath his arm, your head tucked beneath his chin as he watches reruns of some drama at low volume. The guilt is always there, heightening with each nonchalant kiss and touch, with every subtle moment between the two of you, with every time the two of you catch each other’s gaze and break into matching grins.

More often than not, the two of you end up sitting on opposite ends of the couch and playing games when Kris is explaining his plan in detail. You pluck out a red gummy bear from the bag in your hands and toss it across the couch. Baekhyun easily catches it in his mouth and grimaces immediately.

“Babe.” He says, lightly nudging you with his outstretched foot. “You know I hate the red ones.”

“Yeah, but I hate the red ones too.” You tell him as you pop a yellow gummy bear in your mouth. “I’m not giving you the ones I like.”

He pouts at you, expression pitiful, and you snicker, nudging his foot back. He returns the nudge and Jongdae groans from where he’s seated on the floor, discretely playing Mario Kart on his phone beside Jessica, who’s seems to be competing against him. “Please stop playing footsie before I throw up.” Jongdae calls out, grimacing at his phone.

“Is anyone paying attention to this?” Kris interrupts, grimacing around the room. There’s an indecipherable mumble filling the room and when you look around, you realize everyone’s preoccupied with something else. Joonmyun just rolls his eyes from beside Kris.

“Now you know how I feel.” Joonmyun says, crossing his arms as he looks at Kris, expression pointed. Kris makes a face.

Baekhyun practically rolls to your side of the couch and holds out his hand, still pouting. After a moment of serious contemplation, you drop a handful of gummy bears in his hand. He grins and promptly sits on your legs as he pops a gummy bear in his mouth, instinctively resting a hand against your thigh.

You look up at Kris, eyes flickering from his (terribly) hand-drawn diagram of the police station to his irritated expression. “You’ve gone over this same plan so many times I’m pretty sure I could recite it in my sleep at this point.” You tell him, sitting up straighter as you address him, leaning against Baekhyun.

Kris’s eyes flicker Baekhyun to you, a strange frown on his face. Then he looks you dead in the eyes, expression grim. “Why are you playing around when Minhee-ssi is probably being—?”

“Don’t.” You cut him off, glaring at his face. The tension in the room becomes incredibly thick. “Do not bring her into this.”

The only reason you’re playing around, as Kris puts it, is because you’re trying your hardest to distract yourself from thinking. You’re afraid that if you think too hard on what’s happening to Minhee, you’ll break down again, and you can’t afford to do that when it’s almost time to get her back from Yongguk. You have a feeling Baekhyun has a silent understanding of this, because he’s been especially good at keeping things lighthearted lately.

For a second, Kris looks like he wants to say something more, but he just nods and turns back to the diagram. “Let’s go over this one more time.” He says.

You deflate against the couch the minute Kris turns away and Baekhyun somehow finds your hand, his fingers clasping around yours, anchoring you to reality. You don’t know how the hell you’re supposed to get Minhee back without killing him and your stomach turns at the thought.

~.~.~.~.~

There are two days left when you find yourself at the threshold of Baekhyun’s basement doors, dealing with a clingy Jessica (who smells strongly of alcohol) and a tired looking Jongin and Sehun (who also smell strongly of alcohol). Jessica’s dressed in a short black dress and this reminds you of last time, except this time Jessica isn’t even forming coherent sentences. She just mumbles against your shoulder, a stream of incomprehensible words filling the otherwise silent basement, as you pat her head gently.

“Why does she always end up like this whenever she goes out with you two?” You sigh, glaring at the two of them as you shift Jessica’s bodyweight in your arms.

Sehun helps you peel Jessica off of your torso. She falls into his shoulder, murmuring softly, her eyes closed, and you steer the two of them towards the little guest room in the corner. You watch, frown deepening, as Sehun adjusts his arm around Jessica, leaning closer as he softly responds to whatever Jessica is sleepily muttering. Jongin keeps a hand on Jessica’s elbow as he pushes open the guest room’s door and flicks on the light. Sehun helps you lay her out on the bed and you brush her hair off of her warm face. Her eyes flutter but she doesn’t say anything, instead she turns to her side and curls up in a ball, her dress hiking up. Jongin throws the blanket over her curled up form, Sehun nonchalantly tucking her in. You eye the two of them with a frown and they sigh when you nod outside of the room, pointedly. You quickly drop a peck on Jessica’s forehead before quietly shutting the guest room’s door behind you and turning on Sehun and Jongin, the former leaning on a wall and the latter sprawled out across the couch, legs dangling off the armrests.

“What happened?” You ask, brusquely, frowning at both of them as you step further into the basement.

“She’s worried about the raid.” Sehun says. He pushes off the wall with a shrug and wanders towards the stereo system in the corner.

“Right.” You mutter. “I could have guessed that myself.” You snap, eyeing the two of them. “She never drinks that much unless she’s really upset. What happened? Did you say something to her?”

Jongin sits up, his legs still dangling sideways off the armrest. You watch as he flicks his dark hair to the side, his eyes wandering over to where Sehun is fiddling with the stereo. Then his eyes rest on you and there’s something entirely too knowing about it. “She’s afraid you’re ready to die on Friday. She says you’re planning something and it scares her.” Jongin says, as he hops off the couch. He fishes through his pockets and pulls out his phone. “She talks a lot when she’s drunk. It’s pretty cute.” You furrow your eyebrows, confused when Sehun presses a button on the stereo and plugs his own phone in, soft music instantly flooding the room.

“What’s wrong with you two? Why are you turning the stereo on?” You ask, glancing between the two of them.

“We’re drunk.” Sehun says, in an awfully bland (and obviously sober sounding) tone. “We want to dance.” Jongin throws Sehun an incredulous look as he throws his arms up in the air. Sehun just rolls his eyes and makes an annoyed face.

You open your mouth to question them when Jongin puts a finger over his plump lips, shaking his head in warning. Sehun changes the song to something full of drums and guitars and, without warning, he holds down the volume button, until heavy rock music is blasting through the room, immediately startling you. Jongin hands you his phone and you read the text he wrote.

Get closer to the stereo. Put your left ear up against it and it should stop him from listening in for a while.

You immediately freeze at that, your eyes snapping up to meet his. Jongin just smirks, even as he nods his head towards Sehun and the stereo. Slowly, you back up towards the speakers, heavy rock music pulsing in your ears. You delete his text and type out your own question. You turn Jongin’s phone and show it to them.

How did you find out?

You don’t expect Sehun to lean into your right ear and murmur, “I’m pretty much a professional hacker. I’ve dealt with like that when I was a barely fourteen. Jongin is my best friend.” You jump at his closeness and he cackles at you, eyes crinkling up into half-crescents.

Jongin takes his phone and you take out your own. Bang Yongguk planted that on you, didn’t he? Jongin types out, his eyes flickering up to your left ear.

You hesitate for a second before nodding, eyes guarded as you observe their reactions. Sehun looks thoughtful while Jongin looks completely unsurprised, lips pressed into a thin line.

You stare at Jongin for a long time, wondering what he’ll do. Slowly you type out, You can’t tell them.

And why not? Jongin’s eyes are full of fire, his lips twisting into a bitter smile. You’re going to betray us again.

You blink at him and suddenly your mind starts reeling. He has Minhee. You type out. Sehun stares at you almost pitifully even as Jongin watches you with growing irritation.

When it comes to our safety, I don’t give a about Minhee and we both know that. Jongin’s text says. You glance up at him and his jaw clenches as he displays his phone. There’s nothing stopping me from going to Kris right now, you know that right? I can’t believe you’d do this again.

You gulp at his text, your eyes flickering from Jongin’s angry expression to Sehun’s blank one, his eyes continuously wandering behind you. An idea blooms at the back of your mind and your eyes light up as you look at Jongin. A plan starts to form in your head and you know this could be your last chance.

“I need your help, Kai.” You whisper, ninety-nine percent sure the chip can’t pick up your voice thanks to the heavy rock music blaring in the background. You glance at Sehun and he’s watching you with a contemplative expression.

Jongin shakes his head and crosses his arms, a flicker of hesitation passing through his eyes. Then, he shakes his head more vigorously. “I don’t trust you.” He hisses, still shaking his head. “I’m not going to help you betray us.”

He makes a move to back away but you quickly grab his arm, pulling him back. He stares at you, almost expressionlessly, and you speak as softly as you can, your fingers forming an iron grip on his forearm. “If not for me or Minhee, then at least do this for Jessica.”

His eyes flicker behind you and he stops trying to pull away. The fringe of his hair falls over his eyes, his expression obscured from your view. You squeeze his forearm but he doesn’t react.

“Please.” You say, not caring how utterly desperate you sound. “Jongin, please.”

Jongin’s eyes flicker over to meet Sehun’s and some kind of silent discussion passes between them. It’s quiet for a long time until Jongin turns back to you.

“Fine.” He says, his eyes on you. He nods once and you can’t help but break into a grin.

~.~.~.~.~

The moment your classes are over for the day, Chanyeol had popped up out of nowhere and grabbed your wrist, talking about nonsense you never managed to catch as he dragged you past Jongdae, who’s smile was pleasantly polite, and Baekhyun, who’s eyes were slightly wide with surprise.

Now here you are, sitting in the backseat of one of Joonmyun’s sleek black cars with Chanyeol, Jongdae, and Baekhyun. Jongdae had insisted you get in the backseat with him (“for some quality bonding time”) and Chanyeol was slumped in the driver’s seat, Baekhyun leaning against the window in the passenger’s side. All five of you were wearing dark shades, thanks to Chanyeol, and you still had your backpack on.

“Why did you drag me out here?” You mumble as you pull your feet up and press them against the back of the seat in front of you, frowning.

“We’re supposed to be scouting out the Police Station.” Chanyeol says, like it should be obvious. You glance at the police station across the street, police cars lined across the front and the lights spilling out the windows in the growing darkness. “Actually, it was just supposed to be you and Baek, but we decided to chaperone because everyone know neither of you would get anything done.”

You knock your knees against the seat in front of you, grimacing at Chanyeol’s suggestive tone.

Baekhyun slips a hand through the crack between the side of the car and his seat and grabs your ankle, squeezing it in annoyance. “Stop kicking my seat. Are you two?” Baekhyun mumbles, peering back at you.

You try to shake his hand off your ankle, smiling a little at the wrinkled nose you can see through the side mirror and prod his hand with your other foot. He suddenly pulls your leg forward, until your foot is stuck between the space. You can hear him cackling when you squeak in protest at the sudden yank, flailing as you slide forward suddenly. You kick the back of his seat with your other foot.

“Yah!” Jongdae and Chanyeol both suddenly screech before you can say anything. Jongdae leans over you and pries Baekhyun’s hand off of you and Chanyeol smacks Baekhyun repeatedly.

“Ow.” Baekhyun exclaims, turning in his seat so he can shove Chanyeol away from him and glare at Jongdae and Chanyeol. “What are you doing?”

Jongdae blocks you from Baekhyun’s view. “We’re saving our baby from your nasty touch.” Jongdae says, solemnly. He reaches for your head and promptly pulls you to his chest, his hands holding your head protectively as he fixes your hair. Your face is pressed up against his chest, your sunglasses half falling from your face. “Stop trying to make a move on her while we’re in the car, ert.”

“Baby? Have you upgraded from chaperone to mother now?” Baekhyun asks, drily.

Jongdae nods and gives Baekhyun a disparaging look. “I’m everyone’s mother.”

“And I’m her dad.” Chanyeol adds, throwing a pointed look in Baekhyun’s direction.

You can’t help but laugh at the look Baekhyun gives the two of them, his eyes rolling. You pat Jongdae’s hand, that’s pressed against your cheek, and Baekhyun locks gazes with you, pursing his lips as his eyes narrow. “I hate you both.” Baekhyun groans, his forehead knocking against his seat’s headrest.

“Is that any way to speak to your girlfriend’s parents?” You insert, mockingly frowning at Baekhyun. Baekhyun groans even louder as Chanyeol grins at you and Jongdae pats your head affectionately.

“Oh God, don’t encourage—”

Screech. Crash.

You jump in Jongdae’s arms; your head whipping to the side as your fingers automatically reach into your backpack, a pocket knife hidden beneath your books. The sound of tires screeching across pavement echoes in your ears.

Jongdae is already poised to attack, leaning over you as his expression falls into complete seriousness, his catlike eyes darting through the car window. Chanyeol has the glove compartment open, his hand undoubtedly wrapped around a weapon, and Baekhyun has a hand on the door handle, his eyes dark.

The sun is just going down outside but you can see smoke from beneath a streetlamp. When you squint, you can just make out a car at the base of the smoke and you quickly turn in your spot, your hand on the car handle and your face pressed up against the glass.

“It’s a car accident.” You say, wondering why the hell the police aren’t bothering to check the sound out. But then again, the police station was run by B.A.P.; you doubt they actually care about a car accident. The thought makes you bitter. “We need to check if anyone was hurt.”

“It could be a trap.” Jongdae, or rather Chen, murmurs right against your ear. You’re suddenly aware at how close he is to you but he doesn’t seem phased, instead his eyes are focused on the accident outside. You lean away from Jongdae’s jaw, pressing yourself a little closer to the car seat and the cold window. You peer through the foggy glass, unable to make out anything but vague details.

“Jongdae.” Baekhyun’s voice makes you tear your eyes away from the window. Baekhyun’s mouth is pressed into a tight line, his eyes glinting a bit as he glances in your direction.

“Yeah?” Jongdae responds, distractedly, eyes flickering over to meet Baekhyun’s.

“Get the hell off my girlfriend.” Baekhyun speaks in a level voice and you can’t help but blush, even as you look at Baekhyun apologetically.

“Oh.” Jongdae blinks several times as his gaze drops down to you, his mouth forming a small startled ‘o’ shape. He quickly shuffles back, giving you space. “Whoops. My bad.”

Chanyeol snorts in amusement and Baekhyun just rolls his eyes before pushing his door open and climbing out of the car. The door your face is pressed up against suddenly flies open and Baekhyun catches you before you tumble face first into the pavement. You quickly crawl out of the car and Baekhyun brushes a few stray strands of hair back, helping you straighten your clothes. You smile sheepishly at him, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He just pats your cheek. “As if you’d leave me for Jongdae.”

“Hey!” Jongdae calls from behind you. He looks incredibly offended and you and Baekhyun share a quick grin. “I’m so much cuter than you.”

“Yo, guys.” Chanyeol interrupts Baekhyun’s retort. You look up, surprised to see Chanyeol carefully approaching the wreck in front of him. “Car accident, remember?”

Baekhyun and Jongdae both snap back to attention, their eyes following Chanyeol’s movements as they slowly follow after him. Baekhyun instinctively pushes you behind him just as you grab the back of his jacket, keeping him right beside you. It’s reassuring to know that you can pull him away from danger at any moment. You look upon the wreckage, smoke billowing out from an old model of a pretty indistinct looking car. There’s something vaguely familiar about the car. You observe the way the back is completely smashed in, as if someone had rammed their own car into it. The front of the car is wrapped around the light pole and you can’t believe how completely wrecked the car is. All you can think about is how someone could be trapped in there.

“I think it was a hit and run.” Chanyeol murmurs as your feet move on its own accord. You push past Baekhyun, shaking away his grasping hand and ignoring surprised warnings, and run towards the wreckage. The closer you get, the more familiar the red paintjob seems. You make your way along the side of the car, your hand trailing along the side, the cracked metal warm under your touch. Your feet crunch along broken glass and you kneel at the driver’s side, coughing at the onslaught of smoke hitting your face. You wave the smoke away and peer through the open window. Then you hear a weak, strangely familiar groan and you immediately reach in through the window, ignoring the way jagged pieces of glass embed into your palm. You unlock the door and try to pry the door open. It doesn’t work at first so you place your leg against the side of the car and pull with all your strength. It still doesn’t open and all you can think of is how you really don’t want to watch this person die. A pair of hands pulls you aside and you watch, with bleary, smoke-filled eyes, as Chanyeol uses a metal bar to crank the door open. He dips down, his head disappearing beyond the car door for a moment and when he pulls back, there’s someone in his arms. Chanyeol drags him away from the car, placing him on the ground. Chanyeol looks shocked and shakes his head at you. Then the person starts choking out blood and thrashing, a million tiny crunches of broken glass echoing in the otherwise quiet street, a familiar weak moan floating to your ears. Suddenly you find yourself dropping to your knees at the person’s side, ignoring the sharp pain of broken shards of glass digging through your pants and into your skin. You don’t hear what Chanyeol is saying. Your heart beats franticly in your chest.

Because it’s Jihoon, of all people.

Min Jihoon, the ex-boyfriend who had cheated on you at Baekhyun’s party so long ago. That’s why the car had seemed familiar. A million memories swim through your head at the sudden revelation, from the times he’s picked you up from university to the times you’ve made out with him in the backseat to the times the two of you had screaming matches in the front seat until someone grew silent and the other cranked the radio volume up. Although, he may not have been a good boyfriend, hell, he was never even a good friend, you still knew him. You used to care about him a lot; a long time ago you used to think you loved him.

“What the hell happened to you?” You gasp out, your hands reaching for his abdomen, where a large piece of metal seemed to protrude from his stomach. His blood is warm on your hands and you try your best not to think about it. You can hear Jongdae speaking urgently on the phone in the background. You don’t expect to see Jihoon’s eyes open, breathing ragged as his hazy eyes find yours. He smiles a little and it’s awfully heartbreaking to watch. He doesn’t deserve this, no matter how much of an he had been while you two were together. He loved you once, didn’t he?

“I guess hyung grew tired of me meddling with his business.” Jihoon gasps out, blood dripping from his mouth. You try to staunch the bleeding coming from his stomach but he quickly shakes his head as he weakly pushes at your hands. “I never…I never wanted you…to be apart…of all this.” He breathes out. “But you managed…to end up in it…anyway.” He chuckles breathlessly before choking and heaving, coughing out small spurts of blood. “You never do what…I want you to…to do, Soo. It’s so…annoying.”

You can hear the distant sounds of ambulances coming closer. For some reason, your eyes sting, but you still manage to glare at Jihoon. “You always tried to control me. I hated that about you.” You mumble and he smiles the same way you used to find so endearing, long ago.

“Sorry I lied to you.” He speaks haltingly, his eyes unfocused. “Sorry for cheating on you…”

“Don’t say that. You’re not going to die. You’re not going to give apologize to me like this.” You snap at him, shaking your head ferociously.

He smiles again, eyes rolling mockingly. Your grip on him tightens.

“Kill him, okay?” His voice comes out as the softest of whispers, eyes flickering behind you, and your eyes widen and all you can think is no. “If not for me, then…for Minhee…” You’re surprised that he knows about Minhee, but then that’s probably exactly the kind of business he was meddling in. Surprisingly, Jihoon had gotten along well with your friends, sometimes better than he got along with you.

“You’re not going to die.” You repeat, your voice cracking as you clutch his bloody clothes, the sounds of engines being cut and voices carrying to your ears from somewhere behind you. Your hands shake and you’re staring at him in shock.

Even as the paramedics push past you, blocking his heaving body from your view, you know your words won’t ring true tonight. His eyes pierce through you before they lose focus. No, you think. Hands wrap around your waist as you watch Min Jihoon’s body being lifted onto a stretcher. You know he’s dead; just a few seconds ago you had to watch the life float out of his body, his eyes turning blank right before your eyes. They don’t bother shutting the ambulance doors; one of the paramedics tears his shirt open and presses a defibrillator against his bare torso. There’s a series of beeps and his lifeless body lifts before dropping back down with a dull thud, paramedics shouting urgently. It happens again and again and again and—

“Breathe.”

The view is obscured by a pair of warm eyes and all you can do is sit there in shock as Baekhyun presses your face into the crook of his neck; the soft scent of his cologne helps calm you, your heart wildly racing. His lips move against the top of your head but you can’t hear his words. You just breathe in the scent of him, unable to close your eyes, unable to unclasp your fingers from the fabric of Baekhyun’s jacket.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket and your heart sinks. You peek over Baekhyun’s shoulder, peering into the dark streets. You swear you see a pair of familiar, dark eyes. You swear Bang Yongguk is there, watching everything, listening, lurking.

~.~.~.~.~

“Do you want to talk about it?” Baekhyun murmurs from the sink, what feels like hours later. It hasn’t been that long, though. You’re sitting on Baekhyun’s toilet, while he fills a bucket with water and wrings out a dishcloth. The blood on your hand’s gone, you realize, and you’re incredibly relieved at the fact. You can’t find the strength to answer him and he doesn’t push it. Instead, he pads over to you, leaning close to you, his eyes softening as he lifts your chin upwards. “Do you want me to take out the glass, then?”

Once he mentions it, the pain crashes down on you. It hurts like hell and you don’t know why you didn’t notice it before. You nod, trembling a little, and he sits cross-legged, in front of you, a pair of tweezers in his hand. First, he pulls out the pieces of glass sticking out of your jeans. It’s quiet for a long, long time, the silence occasionally filled with your hiss of pain or the clinking of glass falling into a bowl, before he pulls away, disappearing into his room. Panic bubbles up in your chest when you realize he’s not there, but just as quickly as he leaves, he comes back. He leans down and brushes pretty fingers across your cheek, the pad of his thumb gently brushing along your jaw. “I brought shorts for you to change into.”

You nod but it’s obvious you can’t move on your own yet. Your limbs feel heavy and your mind is reeling with thought after thought, the imagery of Jihoon dying before your eyes ingrained into your mind. Baekhyun helps you change out of your jeans and you wince when a piece of glass that he missed drags down your skin. You watch, exhausted, as Baekhyun meticulously takes out each tiny shard of glass, wiping away the blood as he goes up your legs.

“He did it on purpose.” You finally speak, the quality of you voice hoarse and scratchy. “Yongguk killed Jihoon on purpose.”

Baekhyun looks up at you before dropping the tweezers in the bowl next to him. Slowly, he nods, his eyes focusing on your face. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“What is he trying to do to me?” You ask, your voice shaking with various emotions.

Baekhyun’s thumb brushes along one of the cuts on your calf, his eyes downcast. He speaks softly and it’s completely unlike him. “He’s trying to scare you.”

“Because of you.” You say, without a single bit of contempt. You’re just stating facts and Baekhyun doesn’t even wince at your words; he just nods, lips pursed. “Because of Daehyun.” You add, in a hushed voice. You never even knew Daehyun yet he’s somehow become such a prominent person in your life, influencing the events of your life, even in death.

Baekhyun nods again, his eyes distant as he meets your gaze. It looks like he’s staring right through you. “Yes.”

“Why did you kill him?” You blurt out, your eyes darting between his. There’s a moment of silence but Baekhyun doesn’t respond. So you speak louder and try to catch his attention. “You loved him.”

Baekhyun gives you a strange look, a sharp edge hidden in his tone. “How would you know that?”

You blanch at his words, your mouth soundlessly opening and closing for a good thirty seconds. Then you shake your head and manage to speak. “Before Minhee…before she was taken, she showed me some things she had dug up about Yongguk. And Daehyun.” You glance up at the ceiling then, as you wring your hands, suddenly nervous. “I saw pictures and it was obvious from those alone. You two looked so happy. You looked so happy. You…” You trail off, afraid that you’re digging too deeply into Baekhyun’s personal life. “You loved him a lot, didn’t you?”

Baekhyun smiles then, a small smile adorning an expression filled with memories you will never know. Your chest constricts at the thought but you know it’s not something you should bother with. Daehyun was before you, he was a part of another life; one Baekhyun will share with you when he’s ready to. You watch as his eyes grow glassy, as he blinks away the emotions, refusing to let them show. He bites his lip and smiles again, lips quirked up into a fond little grin. “I did.” He says. “I loved him so much.”

There’s a bit of jealousy clawing at your chest, no doubt, because Daehyun still manages to elicit these kinds of reactions out of Baekhyun, even in death. But you quickly push it away, instead opting to study the adoration in his expression. It’s incredibly endearing to you. “Then why did you do it?”

It’s silent for a long time and you wonder if Baekhyun’s decided he just isn’t going to bother answering you. He’s sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor, his eyes unfocused as he leans back on the heels of his palms, neck exposed.

But then he opens his mouth, words spilling out.

“A part of it was because I was ordered to.” Baekhyun murmurs, expression blank as he stares at the ceiling. “I was one of the last members to get recruited into EXO and there’s always some type of initiation done when it’s time to move up ranks. Kris and Yongguk never got along, so Kris drew up a plan to get rid of Yongguk. He said I had a lot of potential and he needed it. I was very good at what I did. I was always so restless and bored and I’m quick on my feet. I was young, though, reckless. So I followed through with Kris’s plan. I got closer to Daehyun so I could help ruin B.A.P.” Baekhyun pauses, his fingers fiddling with the fabric of his jeans.

“Somewhere along the way I fell in love with him. It got to the point where I didn’t want to follow through with the plan anymore.” Baekhyun scoffs then, rolling his eyes dramatically, smile somehow resigned. “I was so young, though. I thought we could somehow escape this ing town and go into hiding. We were both so young. It seemed so easy to us, so romantic. We were naïve enough to think we could live in peace once we got out, but once you’re in the mafia you never get out.” He chuckles bitterly at that, and your heart drops at the momentary vulnerability in his expression. “Of course, we managed to get out of town, I’m good at getting what I want and so was Daehyun. But they found us anyway. In the end, despite our efforts, I killed Daehyun anyway. He told me he wanted out. He was sick, literally, and so, so exhausted. It killed me to see him that way…to see him in the hospital hooked up to all those machines... I think he knew about the plan the entire time, though. He told me he wanted me to do it. He begged…he…Kris was…Dae…” Baekhyun’s voice cracks at the end, his eyes fluttering out of focus, away from reality, and his fingers tightening.

For a second, his entire demeanor crumbles and he looks so utterly heartbroken. For just a second, Baekhyun’s walls crumble and all you want to do is wrap your arms around him and whisper sweet-nothings in his ear. You hate seeing him this way. But then his rough expression flattens down into one with more control, his lips fall into a tight line and his eyes return to focus. The only sign of distress is his barely trembling fingers clutching his folded legs beneath him. “Jung Daehyun is my biggest regret.”

You stare at him, mind reeling. You can’t help but imagine the scene; Baekhyun trying to make plans, to escape with the cover of a dark, starless night, hand in hand with Jung Daehyun. You imagine Daehyun in the hospital (you remember those hospital records Minhee had dug up), Baekhyun sitting outside on a bench, head in his hands. You imagine Daehyun wanting out of the mafia life; imagine that smiling, handsome face morphing into a pleading one. You imagine that Yongguk had probably become greedy, best friend turned monster, and you can imagine Daehyun eventually becoming stuck, stagnant, trapped. You try to imagine Baekhyun reaching out with tentative, hesitant fingers, knife in hand. You imagine him slitting Daehyun’s throat, Daehyun nodding all the while, trying in vain to make it all as painless as possible for Baekhyun. Maybe Baekhyun hadn’t been completely cooperative, maybe Daehyun had wrapped his hand around Baekhyun’s and guided him along with gentle movements and sweet, pleading words, maybe they didn’t have enough time to think, Kris or Yongguk impatiently waiting for them beyond a door somewhere, maybe Daehyun had convinced Baekhyun through biting words until he was angry enough to go through with the plan. Maybe, maybe, maybe.  There are so many maybes and your mind tumbles through each and every scenario it can think of, your thoughts overwhelming. It isn’t black and white and it frustrates you because you can’t pinpoint exactly whose fault it is, though you try. You try to separate the sin from the sinner, but it’s not easy, not everything is black and white.

“Why didn’t Yongguk realize what he was doing to Daehyun?” You blurt out instead. You don’t want to ask Baekhyun exactly what happened, you want him to tell you on his own terms, when he’s ready. Judging from his current expression, he’s still not ready, no matter how stoically he speaks of Daehyun.

Baekhyun shakes his head, shrugging a bit. “Power changes a person; revenge, anger, money, it can change people for the worst. I know it changed me.” Baekhyun meets your eyes, then, his expression solemn. He looks at you as if he knows exactly what you’re thinking, as if he’s seen your expression enough times on a million other people’s faces to formulate a quick response. “You can’t pin the blame on a single person. Trust me, I’ve tried. After all, Daehyun was the one who made B.A.P. and fueled the rivalry between EXO and B.A.P. He was the one who asked for a way out. Yongguk was unreasonable, unrelenting, and really ing pissed. He was blinded by his own power and drove Daehyun into a corner. And I held the knife that slit Daehyun’s throat. I made sure he was dead.”

“I…I think the blame depends on the circumstances, Baek.” You say, gently, as you slowly slip off the toilet seat cover and sit down next to him, careful about your wounds. He watches you with a blank expression, eyes following your movements. Your knee brushes against his as you peer up at him through a few strands of fallen hair. “It all depends on how you look at it.”

“You’re not the first to tell me that.” He looks away from you, his eyes focusing on the toilet paper roll beside the sink. He nibbles on his bottom lip, the frame of his body tensing into a rigid line, fingers clenching tightly. He speaks softly, voice breathless. “The circumstances mean nothing. Maybe it’ll help me sleep a bit more soundly at night, yeah. But Yongguk is right. I did kill Daehyun. His blood is on my hands. I watched him die.”

You watch the vulnerability in his expression bloom and your heart feels heavy for him. If your plan doesn’t work then you will have blood on your hands, too. You don’t think you’re strong enough to deal with it, not the way Baekhyun has been. Slowly, you reach out and place your hands over his clenched fingers. He tenses at your touch, his eyes snapping up to meet yours, eyes darting from your fumbling hands to your face. You tug at his fingers, slowly pulling them out of tightly clenched fists. You rub gentle circles into the inside of his wrists as you look up at him and meet his eyes.

“One day,” you murmur, glancing down as you manage to squeeze your fingers into the spaces between his, his grip on your hands painfully tense, his knuckles whitening with his grip. “Maybe one day the blood will be gone.” He shakes his head, opening his mouth to retort, but you quickly shake your head, squeezing his fingers. “Or maybe it’ll never go away, but one day you’ll come to terms with the blood on your hands. Maybe you’ll find a way to be okay again.”

He opens his mouth and closes it three times before something finally leaves his mouth. “I’m afraid I never will.” He says, softly, his voice tiny.

You smile; gently, reassuringly, sadly. You think of your three best friends and what they’ve been through, what they’re going through. You think of what you’ve been through, what Baekhyun must be going through. You think it’s unfair; no one should have to go through this. “Then that’s okay. It only means that’s you’re human.” You repeat his own words back to him and the corner of his lips twitch upwards, his eyes still so anciently sad (too anciently sad for someone so young).

He’s still looking through you, his eyes unfocused even as he leans forward and presses his lips to your forehead. A smile flutters across your lips and you lean up, sneaking a quick peck at the corner of his mouth. His smile grows and your heart flutters in your chest, even if his smile never reaches his eyes. He reaches up and brushes both of your intertwined hands along the side of your face. He still looks so sad, his eyes a million miles away, and you sigh, softly, your thumb brushing along the back of his hands as you speak. “Do you want a hug?” You ask hesitantly, blushing a little at how unsure you sound. You don’t know how to comfort him and it bothers you.

There’s a moment of silence before he snickers a bit, much to your annoyance, his expression filling with the sort of fondness that still makes your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything on the subject of your reddening cheeks, but he does nod, pouting adorably, and you can’t help but unclasp your hands from his and throw them around his neck, your nose buried at the crook of his neck.

He tucks his own face into the crook of your neck, his arms slowly snaking around your waist. The tension in his body slowly disappears as he melts into your arms, snuggling closer. It’s silent for so long yet you don’t care. You want to stay like this in his arms forever.

“Maybe we should get off the bathroom floor.” Baekhyun mumbles against your shoulder, his breath tickling your skin.

You open your eyes, realizing you’re both still in the bathroom. You chuckle softly. “Ruins the mood a little, doesn’t it?”

“Mmhm.” Baekhyun hums, nodding and cuddling further into your arms, and shows no sign of moving. Without warning, his grip tightens around your waist and he lifts you up. You shriek, scrambling in his arms before wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms tightly around his neck, clutching onto him. He laugh loudly as one of his hands trail down your back and rests on your bottom, supporting your weight.

“Give me some warning next time.” You smack his chest lightly and he presses an exaggeratedly sloppy kiss against your cheek, making you pull away and shove at his chest. He playfully smacks your bottom, making you blush a bit, so you promptly press your palm against his face. “Now you’re really ruining the mood.”

He carries you out of the bathroom and mumbles something that you can’t hear, thanks to your hand over his mouth. He tries to pull your hand away without dropping you and you can hear his muffled snickers, your heart flipping in your chest. He your hand and you shriek, pulling your hand away as he grins. Suddenly, he practically tosses you onto his bed, easily unlatching your hands from him, and you bounce a couple times, settling on your side, hair falling into disarray all over his sheets. “I can’t believe you just my hand.”

“I can’t believe you tried to cover up my beautiful face.” Baekhyun retorts, shaking his head as he holds his cheek, still standing at the edge of the bed.

You prop an elbow up and rest your head on your hand, eyeing him in joking scrutiny as you brush your hair away from your eyes. “You looked better with my hand covering your face.”

“Yah!” He gasps in offense, a pretty hand flying over his chest. “Take that back.”

You shake your head, grinning, and he kneels on the bed, eyes narrowing as he inches towards you. “Nope.”

He rolls up his sleeves to his elbows and you watch as he crawls towards you, eventually pouncing on you. A loud laugh escapes your mouth when Baekhyun pushes you down on your back, one of your feet dangling off the edge of his bed, the other one hooked around his leg. His hand cups the side of your neck, a gentle smile spreading across his lips. You stop laughing, your eyes searching his face. The atmosphere grows quiet, the bed creaking when you drop off your elbows, your head hitting the mattress softly. His hands are flat against the mattress on either side of your face, his whole demeanor warm and open. It’s so much more different than before and it makes you feel all fuzzy and warm inside. He dips down and kisses your lips, capturing you in a soft, chaste kiss, his fingers curling through your hair and along your neck. You don’t know how such a simple kiss could make you melt into a big pile of goo, your mind buzzing, but it does.

He doesn’t need to say it for you to know that he loves you and your heart races with adrenaline and dread and love. When he pulls away, balancing above you on his hands, you let out a breathless giggle. He narrows his eyes.

“Is it funny when I kiss you?” Baekhyun asks, making a face at you.

You can’t stop laughing, breathless and so aware of Baekhyun, of the way the planes of his body molds against yours, of how utterly happy you are at this moment. Baekhyun leans down to kiss you again, on your bottom lip a bit roughly, as if to shut up your breathless giggles. He tries to pull away after a moment, but you follow his lips, leaning up on your own elbows. You smile against his lips.

“I love you.”

Baekhyun moves so fast, fingers twisting through yours, lips crashing against yours. You never knew you’d be so content with just kissing someone for hours on end, yet here you are.

“Mmm, good.” He grins in between kiss after trailing kiss and you roll your eyes, smiling as you playfully shove at his chest.

~.~.~.~.~

“Late as usual.” Tao says the moment he opens the front door, before you can even ring the doorbell a second time.

You wrinkle your nose at him, rolling your eyes as you make a move to step into Baekhyun’s house. “I needed to grab some stuff from home, Taozi.” You say the last word mockingly, knowing that it annoyed Tao to no end.

Tao narrows his cat eyes at you but steps away from the door anyway. You survey his outfit, all black with a metal stick latched on to his back, before you drop your backpack on the couch and dig through it. You pull out Minhee’s old walkie talkies with the big red buttons and hold it out, “Sehun told me to give these to you to give to him, actually.”

Tao’s eyes flicker from your face down to your hands before he nods briskly and takes the devices from your hands. “Usually, I don’t care for people like you, but,” Tao sighs and crosses his arms, his nose wrinkling cutely. “I hope you don’t die tonight.”

You roll your eyes at that, “Thanks.” You say in a wry tone.

Tao just shrugs, mouth twitching upwards. “You’re good for Baek hyung and you know how to keep Kris’s head in check. I appreciate that, even if you did tell Jessica to shoot me.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” You purse your lips in annoyance, “Burning my arm on a grill wasn’t enough?”

Tao just shrugs before slipping out of the room. You don’t miss the way he snickers as he leaves the room.

~.~.~.~.~

You walk into the basement, backpack slung over one shoulder and a half worried half queasy expression plastered across your face. Kris is too busy loading his guns to acknowledge your presence. Jongdae looks you up and down, whistling lowly and making you blush a bright red. You’re wearing fitted black pants and a fitted black shirt, since you find it easier to move in clothes that aren’t loose. Jongdae barks out a laugh, Chanyeol strides by you, ruffling your hair, and you swat at his arm, scowling at the both of them. Baekhyun shoves Jongdae for you and you laugh as Jongdae nearly topples over on to his . He huffs in annoyance and rolls his eyes.

Baekhyun’s arm wraps around your waist, gently tugging you sideways. “What’s with the scowl?” Baekhyun mumbles, a tiny smile gracing his lips.

You shrug, frowning. “Nervous, I guess.”

“Hmm.” Baekhyun nods, looking up as Jessica appears. Sehun nods in your direction and you nod back. Jongin purses his lips at you before turning to hand Jessica something, blocking her from view. “Need a glass of water? A hug? A bucket to throw up in?”

Your eyes snap up to meet Baekhyun’s and his eyes are filled with worry, despite his playful words. You can’t help but smile weakly, “A hug would be nice.” You murmur, your fingers shaking a little.

Baekhyun just silently wraps both arms around you, tucking your head beneath his chin, your high ponytail probably tickling his nose. He engulfs you in his warm embrace and you feel awfully safe. He gives you a gentle, reassuring squeeze as he leaves a trail of warm kisses along the top of your head and you allow yourself exactly ninety seconds to succumb in arms. You give yourself just ninety seconds to mentally freak out.

And then you pull away, straightening your back as you brush your hair out of your face. You exhale slowly, pushing away all your doubts and insecurities. They’re not gone, by any means, but it’s time to focus.

You shake your hands out. “I’m ready.”

Baekhyun’s eyes roam across yours before he nods, a dark look falling across his eyes.

Someone taps you on the shoulder and you turn on your heels. Jongin holds out two separate earpieces, eyes darting from you to Baekhyun and back again.

“Right or left?” Jongin asks you.

“Right.” You say, the presence of the silver chip on your left earlobe feeling heavy.

~.~.~.~.~

“A token of our alliance.” Kris states as he twirls a switchblade in his fingers before holding it out to you, handle facing you. There’s a small diamond shape etched into the handle, the initials W.Y.F. carved above the symbol. He nods at you as you pluck the knife out of his fingers. “Don’t lose it or I’ll have your head on a ing silver platter.” Kris says, with a warning tone.

You roll your eyes at that, “Oh, scary.”

Kris scoffs, his face twitching. “Good luck.” He adds after a long pause, the barest hint of sincerity in his tone. He picks up a small handgun off the center table (where there’s a large assortment of guns laid out). “You’re going to need it.”

You brush your hair out of your face and pick up three handguns, pocketing the double barreled one at your waist. You also grab a few packets of bullets, and give Kris a sideways glance. “You’re going to need it just as much as me.” You survey his expression for a moment, smiling with your teeth. “You have no definite idea what’s going to happen tonight. You’re way out of your element, aren’t you?” Your eyes drift down to the way his giant hands constantly hover over his weapons. “You’re worried.”

“Not worried.” Kris shakes his head, baring his teeth unkindly. “On guard.”

“Paranoid.”

“You’re saying that like you haven’t been irrationally paranoid, lately.” Kris looks at you a little too knowingly, for your taste.

You blink, rapidly. “How did you—”

“I have eyes.” Kris grins, all teeth like a lion.

“And I’m still on your list.” You tack on for him, wrinkling your nose.

Kris hums as he adjusts his earpiece and glances down at his watch. “We’ll begin in five minutes.” He walks off and you watch him go, before turning on your heels.

You find Jessica and Mina huddled together. You hand them both one gun each and they take them carefully. There are no words passed between the three of you, just lingering fingers and locked eyes. Mina nods and Jessica squeezes your hand, determination clouding their features.

~.~.~.~.~

There are three main groups, not including all the thugs Kris enlisted in creating distractions all throughout town, including at the police station. You’re in the excursion group and currently hovering near an incredibly old (and definitely unstable) back, underground entrance to the police station, the entire door rusted shut and covered in thick vines, due to years (centuries, maybe) of disuse. It’s dark, the wind sharp and cold against your exposed face.

Xiumin tries to pull at the vines, a thorn nicking his palms and making him hiss. “How old is this building that it’s managed to grow a wall of vines?” Xiumin mumbles around his palm, hand in his mouth as he tries to staunch the stinging.

You shrug. The place is unusually big and ridiculously ancient-looking; the back of the police building seems so rundown compared to its renovated front entrance. “It’s big on the inside, too. Maybe this used to be an old mansion.”

“No one ever thought to look up the history of the place?” Jongdae pipes up from beside you. He leans back and peers at Kyungsoo. “Isn’t that, like, a thing you’re into, Kyungsoo? History and ?”

“Shut up. You sound stupid.” Kyungsoo instantly replies, with a roll of his eyes you don’t have to personally witness to know is there.

After another moment of staring at the wall of vines, you reach into your sleeve and pull out Kris’s knife. With each rough swipe of your hands, you manage to tear apart the vines, wincing when a few thorns pierce through the skin of your fingers. You carve through to the door handle and groan when you realize it’s rusted shut.

Jongin easily pulls you aside and steps up to the door then. You can’t see what he’s doing but eventually the door creaks open, revealing a tunnel of darkness and a musty smell.

Jongin turns to you and gestures towards the open door. “Lead the way, Boss.”

Jongdae snorts at that and you grimace before stepping into the dark building.

~.~.~.~.~

The five of you wander through the halls, occasionally kicking open doors (only to be greeted by empty rooms full of dust). You wind through hall after hall, seemingly wandering deeper into Yongguk’s lair. The hairs at the back of your neck constantly remain on end, the darkness alleviated by five tiny flashlights and dim overhead lights that you can’t pinpoint the source of. For some reason, you have the feeling the five of you are headed downwards. To Hell, a frankly melodramatic voice in your head whispers. It sounds like Minhee and half of you wants to laugh at the thought.

Your earpiece crackles softly, Sehun occasionally speaking through it. You’re very much aware of the fact that you’re not sure how to retrace your steps out of this building and you’re sure the others are conscious of that fact as well.

Something in your gut tells you to turn back, but you easily kick open a door at the very end of the hall, gun dangling from your fingers, when you hear it. A familiar sound that has your mouth dropping and your heart racing.

There’s a maze of exposed piping trailing on either side of the hall as you quickly hurry down the hallway. “Right.” Jongdae’s voice drifts past your buzzing thoughts. “Let’s just run straight towards the unknown voice.”

You throw him a glare over your shoulder, your hand landing on the metal bolts of the door. “That’s Minhee in there.”

Jongdae blinks and shares a look with Jongin and Xiumin.

“Are we sure about that?” Kyungsoo asks, stepping up next to Jongdae.

You nod vigorously as your eyes survey the large steel door before you. There are scratch marks carved vertically up and down the door and you reach up to trail a finger along one of the scratches, the rough metal of the door scraping against the pad of your fingertip. Jongin’s tan hand slips past you as he reaches for the doorknob. The chains hang loose along the doorframe and Jongin easily nudges the door open; there’s no resistance whatsoever. It makes you shiver, internally.

The door creaks, steel screeching along steel, and bright light floods your vision. You don’t know what you expect to find, maybe Yongguk and his cronies armed from head to toe, maybe another hallway. But instead you find a room filled with exposed piping all along the walls and a large boiler in the corner. Instead you find an unconscious Minhee handcuffed to the exposed steel pipes behind her, her head lolling to the side and her wrists all scratched up from struggling against the handcuffs.

You drop to your knees beside her almost instantly, “Minhee.” Your voice breaks, your strong façade breaking for a moment as you brush her hair out of her eyes. She doesn’t open her eyes and your heart twists as your fingers fumble along her neck, checking for a pulse. “God, Minhee. Don’t you dare…” You murmur, trailing off as you search for a pulse, your fingers pressing along her neck, fingers shaking.

Someone grabs your hand then and maneuvers your fingers in the right direction, Kyungsoo’s voice echoing in the room. You finally find her pressure point and you breathe a sigh of relief.

There’s a pulse, terribly light but there.

She’s alive. You could scream.

 Jongdae easily disassembles the handcuffs around Minhee’s wrist as you set out to drip water into , her lips dried and cracked. Jongin is talking to Sehun, who’s relaying the information back to the other groups. You’ve found Minhee but why do you still feel so uneasy about it all?

“Why does this feel too easy?” Xiumin mumbles from Minhee’s other side, his eyes hovering over Minhee’s limp form, critically. You don’t tell him that you agree with his sentiments because you don’t want him to elaborate. Yongguk knew about this, thanks to the chip, so why is he giving Minhee back to you so easily?

“Maybe Yongguk’s officially become a certified nutjob.” Jongdae suggests as he hands you a roll of gauze, his eyes never leaving Minhee’s hands. His expression is distant, as if he’s remembering something from the past, his eyes uncharacteristically solemn. You follow Jongdae’s gaze, finally managing to get a good look at Minhee’s hands, and growl at the sight. Her wrists are covered in dried blood and her fingers are wrapped in old bandages, reddish-brown dried blood seeping through the bandages. Your stomach turns when you notice that a couple of her fingers are significantly smaller than the others, even wrapped up in bandages and medical tape.

I’ll cut off one finger for every single day you avoid my orders.

“Please tell me I’m having a bad trip and I’m just seeing .” Xiumin mumbles suddenly. “Please tell me those are not…” Xiumin groans, gagging a little before abruptly standing up and walking out of the room. You can see him leaning against the doorway and you quickly turn to look at what he was talking about. The sight of severed fingers strewn in the corner of the room, next to the boiler, nearly makes you sick, bile rising in your throat. You avert your eyes, your head spinning, and focus on breathing properly. You can’t get sick, Minhee needs you.

Three fingers, your brain chants like a mantra, Three days. Your fault.

“What’s going on?” Baekhyun’s voice rumbles through the earpiece, voice shrouded by static.

Minhee’s eyelids flutter, so suddenly, you jump in your spot, immediately straightening her up against the wall as you carefully adjust her hands. Her shirt is too big for her, you notice, and it keeps slipping off her shoulder. It’s a large black t-shirt that bunches at her stomach in an awkwardly raised shape. You’re ninety nine percent sure it’s not hers and your heart drops to the pit of your stomach.

“Sooyong.” Kris’s voice carries into your ear, tone urgent. “Kyungsoo, Jongin… Jongdae, Xiumin…Where are y………” His voice falls into a garbled mess of electricity and you frown.

Your head snaps up to meet Kyungsoo’s confused expression. “Why are we losing the signal?”

“Soo…” Minhee’s hoarse voice interrupts Kyungsoo’s response, is mouth snapping shut as his wide eyes become incredibly attentive. All eyes snap down to Minhee, who’s stirring softly, her eyes flickering open. Xiumin leans against the doorway, expression much more contained than it had been earlier.

“Minhee, you’re awake.” You whisper, utterly relieved as you bring the bottle of water back to .

Minhee’s expression wrinkles with pain and she gasps out unintelligible words. You her hair, gently pushing her sweaty bangs out of her eyes, when suddenly her eyes snap open and she straightens in her seat, gasping and curling in pain a moment later.

That’s when the earpiece keens in your ear, a high pitched screech filling the room. You snatch the device out of your ear, your ear ringing. Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Jongin, and Xiumin have done the same thing, panic and confusion visible on their faces.

That’s when Minhee speaks, in short gasps, her tone terrified.

“You shouldn’t have come. You should have left like I told you to.” Minhee’s eyes pierce through you, strangely unwavering despite her weak demeanor.

You don’t miss the way Jongdae eyes you questioningly; they never knew you had talked to Minhee.

“I’m not going to leave you here.” You snap, shaking your head quickly.

“You…you shouldn’t have…” Minhee breathes heavily and clutches her stomach, tears springing to her eyes when you wrap an arm around her.

Then Yongguk’s voice echoes all around you, bouncing off the walls, filling your head. Xiumin, Kyungsoo, Jongin, and Jongdae are immediately at their feet, weapons poised. Yongguk’s voice echoes down the hall, beyond the open door, and you imagine his voice filling every nook and cranny of the big police building, a shiver running up and down your spine. Nothing is hidden from his voice, his presence.

“Let’s play a game, shall we?”

Kyungsoo’s head whips around, “Where is his voice coming from?”

Xiumin points above, his expression solemn, angry almost. “Intercoms. He’s probably watching us right now.”

Jongdae falls back against the exposed pipes, his grip loosening around his gun, his eyes dark as he stares upwards, waiting.

 “I wonder how long it’ll take one of you to find me.”

The room goes silent at his echoing voice, your breath caught in your throat.

“Don’t worry, though, I’ll turn on communications in just a moment. I’ll give you an advantage.”

Yongguk’s voice is full of amusement, an insane note to his tone that makes you shudder. It’s quiet for so long, you wonder if he’s stopped talking, but then—

“Oh, and if any of you try to leave I’ll blow this building to bits. Starting with the bomb strapped to our precious Minhee-ssi.” Your eyes snap down to meet Minhee’s and she looks absolutely miserable, her eyes wet with tears and her hair matted to her neck and face. Yongguk laughs over the intercom and you feel sick. “You have fifteen minutes.”

Your eyes flicker down to Minhee’s stomach before silently meeting hers again. She nods, her fingers curling around the hem of her black t-shirt. When she lifts her shirt, your hand flies up to cover your mouth.

There’s a black device latched on to Minhee’s pale skin, parts of the straps practically woven into her skin with thread. Blood seeps along the edge of the glinting metal, Minhee’s pale skin puckered and red all around it. You don’t want to know how Yongguk had managed to latch that on to her. It glows softly, the timer at the center already counting down from fifteen minutes.

0 0  :  0 0  :  1 4  :  1 6  :  2 6

“Oh my God.” You mumble from behind your hand, your voice catching in your throat. You stand up, feeling queasy, and Minhee slowly closes her eyes, breathing ragged. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. That’s all that seems to be going through your head at the moment, as you tear your eyes away from the bomb protruding from Minhee’s abdomen and focus on the ceiling, panic settling in your chest. You can feel the panic building, breathing becoming difficult, but you refuse to have a panic attack here, you refuse.

A firm hand grips your shoulder and Kyungsoo hands you an earpiece, his expression solemn, almost pitiful. You snatch it from him, a strange sort of fire rising in your chest. You’re angry, you belatedly realize. How dare Yongguk do this to Minhee? How dare he?

You press it against your ear, the soft crackling invading your rampant thoughts. “We need to meet up.” You speak firmly into the communications unit.

Kris doesn’t hesitate to answer, his tone terse. “Sehun can get you here quickly.” Kris pauses before continuing. “He already has coordinates and their group is heading this way.”

“Good.” You respond, watching as Jongdae kneels beside Minhee and puts an arm around her waist, helping her up.

“Ask Jongdae if he can disable the bomb.”

Jongdae shakes his head, apparently listening in on his earpiece. He heaves Minhee up and frowns, pursing his lips. “The hood is attached to her flesh. I’d have to cut through her to get to the wires and, if I am stupid enough to try that, Yongguk would manually trigger the bomb anyway.” Jongdae says into his comm unit. Xiumin groans at Jongdae’s word, wrinkling his nose in disgust, and Minhee sighs, softly in pain.

“.” Kris mutters, static filling his voice. “Just get here quickly and we’ll figure something out.”

“Get Sehun to find Yongguk.” You tell him, tone hard. “If Yongguk wants us to find him, then we’ll do exactly what he wants.”

It’s silent for a good minute until Kris chuckles, entirely too amused for your liking. “I can feel your anger from all the way up here.”

“Good.” You respond as you pick up your gun. You’re gritting your teeth as you stomp towards the boiler room door. Xiumin grins even as you shove  past him. “We’re going to find him and I’m going to shove that bomb so far up his ing , it’ll go off in that ed up head of his.”

~.~.~.~.~

After a ridiculous amount of stairs (you end up leaning against the wall, breathing hard, while Xiumin nudges you forward), you finally make it to what you believe is the ground floor of the station. How the station could have so many underground floors is completely beyond you. You lean against Minhee (who you’ve got an arm around, since it’s your turn to carry her up) and she pats your head, movements slow and weak, and her eyes drooping.

You pat her cheek, “Hey, no sleeping.” You murmur.

She nods, indecipherable words leaving .

Kyungsoo reaches out and tightens the piece of cloth around her stomach and Minhee jolts, her eyes flying open. “Ow!”

“No sleeping.” Kyungsoo says ignoring Minhee’s slew of curse words she’s throwing at him, words basically indecipherable. You eye the timer, your heart clenching. “Sorry.” He adds belatedly, making Jongin snort.

You rub Minhee’s back as you glance towards Jongin. “Are we there yet?”

“They should be just around the corner.”

True to his word, the moment the six of you turn the corner, the rest of the group are huddled together, whispering among themselves. Jessica looks slightly distraught and Mina seems strangely calm. You expected them to have opposite reactions.

There’s a flurry of movement, Yixing easily taking Minhee from you. You meet Baekhyun’s eyes, when he glances up from Minhee, and he looks concerned. Before he can speak, Kris is blocking your vision, kneeling beside Minhee.

“How long?”

Minhee reaches down and shakily pulls up her shirt, the glowing numbers pulsing steadily.

0 0  :  0 0  :  0 8  :  4 7  :  1 2

There’s a sharp intake of breath, the entire room falling quiet. You can’t stand the silence, you can’t stand the fact that nobody knows what to do. You won’t let Yongguk back you into a corner like prey.

“Sehun.” You call turning to him. “Where is Yongguk?”

Sehun shakes his head, his mouth turning down into a frown. “He blocked the intercom signal. He could be anywhere in this building. He could be miles away. I can’t figure it out.”

You want to punch something, your fists clench, nails digging into your palms. The tinge of pain helps you concentrate, though, so you tighten your fists, forcing your breathing to calm down. You will not have a panic attack now. Suddenly, a hand wraps around your clenched fists and you unconsciously jerk away from the warm touch.

Then you recognize it, the fingers squeezing into yours, and you look up, vision hazy. Baekhyun looks down at you with gentle eyes and an even gentler smile. It’s an anchor, his hand, and suddenly it gets easier to breathe again. It’s easier to think, your fingers loosening its tight grip.

“Who has the map of the station?” Baekhyun murmurs, glancing around the group. You want to ask Baekhyun how that would help with anything when it just clicks.

“You think there’s only one intercom in this building?” You look up at Baekhyun, eyes carefully searching his.

He nods, “Usually the front desk or the police chief would have access to it.”

“How can you be so sure?” Luhan interrupts, glancing between the two of you and Tao, who’s laying out the blueprint of the police station on the floor, smoothing out the corners.

“We don’t have time to second guess ourselves.” Jessica snaps. All heads turn to look at her and she’s glaring at Luhan (she’s actually looking at him, speaking to him, and you think there’s at least some kind of positive progress coming out of all this). She points at Minhee, who’s barely conscious.

Your eyes scan the blueprint, white words irritatingly tiny. You’re becoming impatient, you know you are, but Baekhyun stays by your side, fingers threaded through yours, as if to keep you grounded and focused.

“There.” Chanyeol’s long pointer finger s at the paper. He traces a circle around a specific spot just at the center of the blueprint. “Offices.” His finger trails to the far left. “And this is the reception area.” He points down the right hall beyond the foyer you all are currently in. “It’s that way.”

“We’re going to split up.” Kris says, without hesitation, straightening up. “M comes with me to the reception area, K goes to the offices with Suho. Be quick. Don’t kill him, find a way to disable the—”

Boom.

 

 

 

 

The entire world shakes so suddenly and so rapidly, that you lose your footing, your entire world thrown out of axis. Screams of surprise quickly morph into nothingness, terrifying ringing silence. There’s ringing in your ears, words being thrown here and there that you can’t seem to pick up. You grasp for the hand you want in yours but it’s gone. You claw for it, you crave it so badly. But your hands are empty, the world is ringing (keening and so, so high pitched, so damn headache-inducing), there’s dust clouding your vision, black spots blocking everything, warmth pooling around your face, and you fleetingly wonder if you are dead.

You can’t breathe. Your ribs hurt, sting with so much pain. You can’t breathe.

You can’t breathe.

You can’t—

“Rise and shine, baby.”

You recognize that voice, a chill spreading straight to your bones. It’s Bang Yongguk, you realize, recoiling in revulsion. Hands yank you to your feet, hands trail down your side, but the ringing in your ears is still there. The more you blink, the clearer your vision becomes.

The black dots subside, falling to the edges of your vision, and you wish you couldn’t see.

Yongguk is so, so close to you, grinning down at you with a predatory grin. The building around you is in ruins, rubble everywhere, walls standing but blackened and riddled with holes and cracks. The place looks like it was hit by a bomb, which it was, and you wonder how the hell you’re still alive. There are bodies, familiar bodies just lying there, and you’re so afraid that they’re dead that your throat closes up again. Your eyes start to water, your chest heaving, but then.

But then they move. They turn, toss in their spots, a head pops up here and there, and the sigh of relief that leaves your mouth is incredibly audible. Minhee—Minhee twitches in the corner, wedged between fallen pillars, Yixing sitting up and quickly checking over her.

Minhee wasn’t blown to bits, you realize. The bomb must have gone off somewhere else. You could cry with relief.

You could cry.

You could—

“Can’t have you all going near my office, now can I?” Yongguk says, loudly. You vaguely register everyone getting to their feet, Baekhyun stepping forward, his jaw clenched in anger.

That’s when you come to your senses; when you shove Yongguk off your body, ing his roaming hands away from your body, and fumble for your gun. Your head swims, your temple throbbing. “Didn’t I tell you to never touch me like that ever again?” You growl, the metallic taste of blood in your mouth, your gun poised in his direction.

Yongguk just smiles, languidly, and it pisses you off. He casually lifts his hand, just as you’re aiming your gun, and speaks with that damn grin plastered across his face the entire time. There’s a small black device dangling from his fingers, red button visible. “You don’t want me to press the big, red button, do you? Minhee’s not ticking anymore but I can set it off whenever I want.”

Then he spreads his arms wide and you finally look beyond Yongguk, taking in your surroundings. There are people climbing through ragged holes, filling the wide space behind Yongguk. Faces you vaguely recognize look back at you. You remember them, however, your eyes scanning the handful of people. There’s Zelo, Himchan, Jongup, all of Yongguk’s people. And then you recognize Jung Soojung’s head of dyed blonde. Her expression is torn, eyes flickering between you and the people behind you, Amber’s arm slung around her waist.  “All these people want EXO dead, too.”

There’s Minhyuk from Calculus class, there’s B.I. and Bobby in the corner watching with hawk eyes, the orange haired boy who you remember was formerly helping EXO not so long ago. You’re outnumbered, cornered, by EXO’s former allies.

You glance back at Kris, slowly backing away from Yongguk, so you’re not as exposed, at the center of the field of rubble, and Yongguk laughs and laughs and laughs.

“We’re not running.” Kris says, glaring and stepping forward, brushing past you.

“You won’t surrender.” Yongguk states rather than questions, eyes wild. Kris slowly shakes his head. Yongguk turns to the handful of people behind him and raises his arms, as if he’s raising Hell itself. It’s a sight you wish you’d never have to see, Yongguk standing in the fire and rubble, smoke billowing in clouds all around him as darkness falls through the cracks, moonlight spilling into the ruined building, as if the sun is refusing to bear witness to this event. His voice booms, echoes in the broken foyer, and your fingers clench around your gun. “This is EXO. They pretended to be your friends, your classmates, while simultaneously killing  your friends, your families, behind closed doors. Remember that, remember their faces, and do with them whatever you please. All I ask is that you leave Byun Baekhyun and Lee Sooyong to me.”

Minhee whimpers into the silence, angry buzzing joining hers. You recognize a few members from student council and their expressions fill with shock, disgust, disbelief, rage. All the makings of an angry army, you realize. Yongguk smiles at you, a smile so pleasant that it has you closing your eyes, weakening in front of him no matter how hard you try not to.

“You killed him.” A deep voice screeches, agony and rage laced in his tone. It’s a trigger, when he stumbles forward, a sharp, terribly painful sound leaving his mouth, the grief of it striking you in the heart. It’s a trigger for the crowd and that’s what has them reeling forward, fury etched into their worn out faces.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

~.~.~.~.~

“Suho!” You warn, wincing when he barely manages to duck and slam is fist into the enemy’s chest, the knife tearing up his arm, a shallow cut forming.

Suho throws you a grateful smile that quickly morphs into a look of horror. You turn on your heels, bending your knees as you kick out. A man—Minhyuk from Calculus class, you realize, with slight bitterness—grins at you, all teeth, before he easily deflects your kick and slams his hammer (who uses a ing hammer, you think in panicked horror) downwards. Before it makes contact and undoubtedly smashes your bones, it’s kicked away and Minhyuk is tossed backwards, slamming into the rubble. He rolls to his feet, seemingly ready to charge, before he thinks better of it. You look up and it’s Jongup, of all people.

Jongup just shrugs at your gaping expression. “You’re Yongguk’s, not his.”

Then he slinks off and you find yourself having to dodge a flying dagger that nicks your earlobe, stinging pain blooming instantly.

Someone grabs your wrist and you nearly flip him into the ground before you realize it’s Baekhyun. You breathe a sigh of relief, surveying him for damage. He’s limping, his lip bloody. “Don’t sneak up on me like that, idiot.” You glare at him, half-heartedly, your fingers clenching around the hem of his shirt.

His hand lands on top of yours and he smiles, gently. It’s too gentle to match your surroundings; his expression seems so out of place to you, his smile not quite reaching his eyes and his eyes dark, alert. “We need to gather up as many people and get the hell out of here.” Baekhyun calls out to you.

Before you can respond, someone comes sprinting right at you, practically knocking the breath out of you as they slam you out of Baekhyun’s arms and right into the ground. You skid back, rocks scraping your skin as he pins you down with his knees. He straddles you and you don’t recognize him at all. His eyes are filled with anger, his hair a soft blond. “You.” A knife glints in his fingers as he leans down, eyes wild with anger. “Your money blew up my boyfriend.”

You open your mouth to say something, feeling incredible confused and terrified, when the man is suddenly shoved off you, his head flying sideways first and then the rest of his body following a split second later. Baekhyun stands before you, a grim expression plastered across his face as he shakes out his right foot, the one you assume he kicked the man with. Baekhyun hauls you up and you look over at the man. He’s knocked unconscious, curled in on himself, and terrible guilt bubbles up in your chest at the sight.

“Thanks.” You breathe out, your eyes searching Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun looks distant, sad almost. “Did you know him?”

Baekhyun nods, “We know all of them. Kris always made it a point to know the people we worked with.”

There’s something incredibly sad about Baekhyun’s words but before you can think to dwell on it, Kris practically flies into view, as he lands painfully hard on his stomach and groans, shakily pulling himself up on his knees. A tiny woman stalks towards him from your right, swinging a chained weapon, the sharp part softly whooshing back and forth, back and forth. You exchange a look with Baekhyun, who quickly nods, and next thing you know you’re engaging her in a fight.

She swings the chains, catching you in the thigh, and you hiss, reflexively reaching for the cut. “Get—” When Baekhyun attempts to kick her in the throat, she swings her weapon, the chains wrapping around his leg before bringing him down, “Out—of—my—way!” She screams, nearly hysterical, in between each swing.

You let her swing into your arm, unbearable pain hitting you like a brick wall. You push through it, however, and grab the center chain, pulling down. The Hysterical Woman’s eyes widen but she can’t quite stop her momentum as she falls forward. You slam her head into your kneecap before twisting her into the ground, easily wrapping the chains around her, immobilizing her. You look up, only to realize that Baekhyun is busy fighting another person off of Chanyeol. “You’re all going to die, either way.” The woman snaps out, sneering at you. She throws insult after insult out at you. You try to ignore it, but it quickly becomes overwhelming, so you punch her in the face, so hard she’s knocked out cold.

“Brutal.” Kris comments from somewhere above you.

“Shut up.” There’s no fire in your voice. You sound exhausted.

He seems to notice, one of his thick eyebrows rising questioningly. “Tired already?”

“This isn’t going to end.” You tell him, your eyes surveying the fighting in the foyer, the way EXO, Jessica, and Mina are so outnumbered, at least two to one. It wasn’t a fair fight to begin with, seeing as everyone was already injured from the bomb earlier.

“Then run.” Kris says. What surprises you is that he doesn’t sound mocking at all. He sounds serious. “Take Baekhyun, Jessica, Mina, Minhee, my kids too. Take them and run. Joonmyun, Minseok, Luhan, and I always agreed that we’d die for them.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You turn to him, a finger poking into his chest. He looks resigned, tired. “You piss me off, always have, always will. But I am not leaving you to die.”

“It’s my duty as hyung to stay until the very end.” Kris snaps back, anger and determination filling his expression. “But that doesn’t mean the rest of them have to die, too.”

You watch over Kris’s shoulder as someone comes for Kris, since his back is turned. “That’s really ing noble of you—duck.” You sidestep Kris as he heeds your words without hesitation (surprisingly enough). You dodge the baseball bat the man is brandishing before grabbing his elbow and twisting it back, back, back.

Thud. The baseball bat clatters to the ground and you easily slam him down right after it. You pick up the baseball bat and nudge the man on the ground with it, flipping him on to his back. His dark hair is matted to his face, his eyes flooding with fear. He shakes his head, a pleading look in his eyes. For a moment, you get the urge to ignore him, to make him suffer, to smash his face in with the bat the same way he was planning with Kris (with you, if you weren’t off limits). You’ve been so angry and you want to let it out. You want to unleash your own insanity. But you don’t. Slowly you nod, pointing off in the opposite direction with your bat. The man’s eyes flicker from you to Kris before he rolls off his back and makes a run for it. “But didn’t we establish a long time ago that we’re in this together? You can’t die now.”

Kris looks at you, a newfound respect clouding his expression. “Growing fond of me, are you?”

You snort. “Nope. You’re just a dramatic piece of .”

Kris laughs.

It gets drowned out by screams.

~.~.~.~.~

The fighting comes to an abrupt halt; shrill screaming filling the broken foyer, the moon peeking through almost timidly.

It’s Jung Soojung. She’s crying, her screams tearing through the halls, and Amber is sprawled across the ground, breathing but barely. Blood is everywhere, dark against the cracked tiled floors. Luhan looks half dead beside her, Jessica, of all people, dragging him away from Soojung, who looks half murderous, half terrifyingly upset. “I told…her not…to…it was an…accident…” Luhan’s voice carries through the silence between each wracked sob, Jessica shushing him softly.

It’s strangely silent as everyone watches the events unfold, as if they hadn’t been trying to kill each other a couple minutes ago.

It’s astounding, really, when Yixing elbows through the stunned crowd, limping. Kris leaves you at the back of the crowd as he protectively closes in on Yixing. Yixing just shakes his head at Kris before he kneels beside Soojung. Soojung attempts to swat him away, but he murmurs something that only she can hear. She lets him touch Amber, she lets him apply pressure, and she lets him heal her. You stand at the back of the crowd, alone and wondering why this is happening.

“Oh, touching isn’t it?” A voice growls in your ear. You jerk away from cold hands but it doesn’t work, not when his hands circle around your waist, around your wrist, pinning you to him. Not when you feel the cold metal of a gun pressed to the column of your throat, one of his hands jerking your hair back, easily exposing your neck more as he forces you to look up at his dark eyes, outlined by charred ceiling. “Don’t make a sound.”

“Get—” You choke on your words when his fingers twist in your hair and he jabs the nozzle of the gun into your jugular.

“It’s a pretty sight, isn’t it?” Yongguk’s voice is in your ear, hot breath against your ear. You dig your nails into his forearms but he seems immune to it. “But she seems to forget that the same person helping heal her also helped hurt her friends, her family. Why do you all do that? One act of kindness and suddenly you just forgive and forget.” His words come out harsh, the gun lodged in the dip of your throat. You swallow nervously, the cold metal of the gun freezing against your skin. Nobody seems to notice the way Yongguk drags you back a little, grip tight. “He did that. He always ing did that. He always forgave precious Baekhyun. But me? Never me.”

“You’re crazy.” You mumble, breathlessly.

Yongguk laughs into your ear, making you shiver. “I’m not crazy. I’m practical.” You hear other voices and realize that they’ve finally noticed the scene. Yongguk’s laughter gets louder and louder and you wince at his booming tone right in your ear.

“You drove Daehyun to his death. You did it.” You snap back, struggling against his grip. Then you snap your mouth shut, realizing that you probably shouldn’t have said that when the unstable man in question currently has a gun jammed against your throat.

“No.” Yongguk practically growls. “Your precious Baekhyun did.” Yongguk’s voice wavers, fury edging into his tone with each word, his grip on you tightening. “But of course you’d believe anything he tells you, right?”

“What are you talking—?”

Yongguk jerks your head down, the gun shoved into the bottom of your chin. He his lips and maneuvers your head in Baekhyun’s direction. Baekhyun’s staring back at you, his jaw clenched, his toes poised as if he’s ready to dash for you the minute Yongguk slips up. “You think he just fell for you in the beginning, do you?”

Yongguk’s voice grows louder, “Did you really feed her that bull, Baekhyunnie?”

You blink and Yongguk mockingly pats your head. “He only pursued you because Kris told him to. You were dating one of my best men and everyone had suspicions about you. So Kris ordered him to get close to you. That’s why he showed interest in you in the first place.” Yongguk’s fingers brush along your jaw. “He lied to you.”

You don’t want to believe Yongguk’s words, because he’s trying to get a rise out of you, but the way Baekhyun’s expression breaks right in front of your eyes is awfully heartbreaking.

You ask him with your eyes, even so far away, your eyes lock with his.

The world seems to slow down and fall away until it’s just you and Baekhyun.

Baekhyun’s eyes flicker between yours, his fists clench and unclench over and over again.

And then he nods, deliberately slow, his eyes shining. He opens his mouth and speaks, voice hoarse; sad. “He’s telling the truth.”

Your eyes flicker to Kris and Kris won’t look you in the eyes.

“I’m the only one who tells you the truth.” Yongguk whispers into your ear. “Isn’t that sad?”

The rational part of your brain says that’s Yongguk is the snake, whispering poisonous words into your head. But he is speaking the truth; for once someone is telling you the truth.

All your anger bubbles up into your chest, all your sadness fills you to the brim, and the irrational part of your brain wants to scream because once again Baekhyun had lied to you. Baekhyun had lied to you from the very beginning and you know it’d be hypocritical to be angry about him lying about the mafia. But lying about his feelings. Leading you on just because he was ordered to makes you feel incredibly pitiful, tears springing to the corners of your eyes.

“How do you know he’s telling the truth now when he says he loves you?” Yongguk murmurs against your ear. “How do you know he’s not lying? That he isn’t going to kill you the moment Kris orders it, after you’re done getting rid of me of course?”

Yongguk leans forward, his voice echoing in your ears. “How can you still trust him?”

~.~.~.~.~

Baekhyun doesn’t speak; he doesn’t say a word the entire time. The others, however, call out to you. Yongguk’s men hold them back, guns pointed at their faces. Zelo hovers over Jessica and Luhan, Jongup kicks Jongdae in the chest when Jongdae attempts to step forward.

Yongguk doesn’t stop speaking; his words filling your head, your vision blurring, and panic building in your chest. He reminds you of Baekhyun’s sins, of the bomb still latched to Minhee.

Baekhyun keeps his eyes on you, expression strangely soft, strangely resigned.

Somehow Yongguk’s gun ends up in your hands, Yongguk’s hand caressing your face, falling down your back, before he holds your waist, his voice as sweet as a lover’s.

Somehow you have a gun in your hands and when you close your eyes, all you see is red.

~.~.~.~.~

“Go on, Sooyong. Shoot him.” A deep voice rumbles in your ear.

Slowly, so slowly, you open your eyes. Your fingers are trembling, the metal of your gun freezing against your skin. Another voice is calling to you, shouting No. No. No. Please. Don’t. Your ears are ringing with so much noise, the sound of your own breathing, of moans of pain coming from your right, of someone promising your immediate death if you pull the trigger, of soft pleading telling you to just listen. You don’t pay attention to anything except for your target and the deep voice at your ear.

Blood rushes to your ears when a finger grazes along your waist, gently caressing you and urging you to follow his orders. Your eyes lock with your target’s eyes, eyes that you’ve known so well, eyes that you’ve seen filled with every kind of emotion imaginable. You remember when those eyes flashed with amusement, with annoyance, with so much love, with lust; you remember every single one of those emotions. Now all you see is emptiness, sheer blankness in those eyes. He doesn’t say a word. He just watches you. The deep voice is now at your ear, lips brushing against your skin, breath tickling your ear.

“He lied to you.” The voice whispers, his words finding its way into the darkest corners of your mind so they can burrow away there. “Since the beginning, all he ever did was lie to you. He hurt you. You didn’t deserve to suffer because of him, sweetheart. Don’t you want him to suffer as much as you suffered? Don’t you want him to pay for what he allowed his friends, his family, to do to you? He let them hurt you. He didn’t even care, did he? He allowed Luhan to hurt Jessica. Did you know that he helped kill your old Gyujin Ahjussi? He shot him right through the heart. This boy killed his ex-boyfriend just because he was ordered to and we all know he would have done the same to you. Look at him, sweetie, he won’t even deny it.” Yongguk’s deep voice rumbles against your ear, voice melodic and sweet, haunting almost in its deep musicality.

One of his hands curls around your waist, digging into the soft skin there, while his cheek rests against the side of your face, mouth brushing along your ears and cheek. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, tenderly. “He doesn’t care about you. He didn’t even love you enough to stay with you, Sooyong-ah. He chose the mafia over you. Do you think he loves you?” He chuckles, amused. “If he did love you, he would have stayed. He would have fought for you that night. He’s with you now because he’s allowed to be. But you know that, don’t you? You’ve known that all along.”

Your bottom lip trembles at his words, those awful words that manage to claw its way deeper and deeper into your brain. Your thoughts are racing and so is your heart. You know he’s right. For once, someone is telling you the cold, hard truth. Yongguk shushes you gently and that’s when you realize there are hot tears spilling down your cheeks. He wipes at the tears with the rough pads of his fingertips, humming a tune into your ear, voice soothing.

“He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t give a about you, Sooyong-ah. He never really did, but I think you know that, deep down. If he gave a about you, he wouldn’t have lied about Daehyun, let alone being in EXO.”

You stare at Byun Baekhyun, who clutches at his side, breathing ragged and heavy. He opens his mouth, as if he wants to say something, but nothing comes out. His eyes aren’t quite blank anymore. There’s something there, but you don’t care to figure it out anymore.

“Kill him, sweetheart.” Yongguk hisses, soft voice cutting through your frantic thoughts. His fingers dig into your waist almost painfully. “Make him suffer ten times the amount he’s made you and everyone else suffer.”

He places the softest kiss against your cheek, just below your right ear. “Trust me, darling. Pull the trigger and everything will be okay again.” He murmurs, lips moving against your skin, hot breath making you shiver.

You turn your full attention to Baekhyun then, and you can vaguely register a voice telling you to stop. But all you see is red. You could do it. You could pull the trigger and wipe out Baekhyun, wipe out EXO. You could go back to how things were before all this. You could forget about Byun Baekhyun, literally erase him from existence.

You want to do it, you realize. Deep down, you want to do it.

“Shoot him.”

Your finger hovers over the trigger and your eyes are locked onto his chocolate brown ones. He seems determined, prepared almost, like he knew this was how everything would end. He seems resigned to his fate and your finger twitches against the trigger. You want to pull the trigger. You want him to suffer the way you did. You want to hurt him for hurting you.

You shake Yongguk away and pull away from him, separating yourself. You take a deep, calming breath. You don’t take your eyes off of him and he returns the gesture. The whole world seems to fall away until it’s just the two of you, Baekhyun and you, as you exhale and you know what you have to do. His eyes twinkle and his lips curl up into the tiniest smile. Your heart beats against your ribs.

You need to protect your family and this is the only way to do that.

So you pull the trigger.

~.~.~.~.~

You wipe the tears from your face, swiping at them as best as you can. The silence is deafening, until it’s broken by an onslaught of choking, of angry yells.

You glance behind you and Jongin has Yoo Youngjae face down on the ground, his knee digging into his back and a gun against the back of Youngjae’s head. Jongin’s other hand is pointing in Kim Himchan’s direction, his gun steady. Sehun has both arms out, one gun on Zelo and the other on Moon Jongup, respectively.

“You .” Yongguk sputters as he clutches at his side, blood spurting from his side and all over his hands. He lunges for you and you shoot again, hands strangely steady despite everything. You get him in the leg and he scrambles back, his shout of agony filling your ears. “Did you forget I hold the trigger to the ing bomb strapped to Minhee’s stomach?”

Before you can react, Yongguk fumbles with the button, thumb slamming against the red button. You squeeze your eyes shut, but thankfully no blast comes. You watch as Yongguk franticly presses the button before you brandish your gun. “Drop it.” You say, voice hoarse.

“What did you do?” Yongguk’s eyes are wide with confusion, his breathing ragged.

You point at your pocket with one of your hands. “While you were spewing out your ed up speech I replaced it with a fake.” You know how lucky you had been and you pray your luck doesn’t run out.

“How would you even know there’d be a bomb?”

You shrug. “Jongin, Sehun, and I prepared for every possibility. I have a disabler for everything on me. There’s even a flame thrower disabler somewhere.”

“You really are all luck.” Yongguk sounds incredulous, as if he can’t believe you’ve managed to pull one over him. “A rookie with incredible luck.”

“And you’re an .” You respond.

“You’re going to join Kris, aren’t you? Even after…everything.” He breathes, softly. His expression softens, his hands clutching at his side. He doesn’t wait for your answer as he shakes his head, a tiny smile falling from his lips. You can hear someone calling hyung from behind you in a heartbroken tone but you don’t look back. “You’re just like me.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

Yongguk laughs, dissolving into choked sounds a moment later. “Not me now, but me before Daehyun.”

You don’t respond, wondering what he was like before revenge had taken over his life.

Yongguk just looks over your shoulder, the wild look still in his eyes, despite his haggard face and heavy breathing. “You hear that, Kris? She’s just like me and she’ll betray you one day. She’s already had a chip clipped to her ear for the past two weeks, helping me listen in.” Yongguk calls out and you glare, brandishing your gun. Yongguk grins at you, his face incredibly pale as blood pools around him, deep red contrasting greatly against stark white. He speaks in a much quieter tone, smiling, “Hey, I’m just trying to have a little…a little bit of fun before… I die.”

“How about you just die now?” You respond, rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“Then who’ll…be…here to tell you…the truth?” His glazed eyes flicker beyond you, his smile suddenly saddening.

“Anyone but you.”

“You’ll never forget me.” Yongguk watches you with a strange mixture of insanity and amusement. It makes you shiver. You hate to think that he can affect you, even in death. You can hear Zelo shouting from behind you, his sobs almost painful to hear. Yongguk’s eyes flicker behind you before his gaze settles on you. “That’s good. I wasn’t quite done with you yet.”

His chest heaves, his eyes watering even as his crooked, half insane smile remains plastered across his face. His breathing slows, his eyes flickering, and you can’t look away. Yongguk’s eyes become distant, so far away you wonder if he’s already on the other side (wherever that is). “I can finally…see him again.” Yongguk mumbles in a barely there whisper.

“Apologize to Daehyun.” You blurt out, accidentally. Throughout this whole ordeal, you’ve grown to care about Daehyun more than you ever thought you would. He’s dead, for God’s sake, but you feel like you know him as well as any friend. And you want Yongguk to apologize. 

The way Yongguk looks at you remains etched in to your memory until the day you die. His smile haunts you.

“Maybe I will.”

~.~.~.~.~

Sehun kneels beside you and pries the chip off your left ear, the rest of EXO watching on with varying unreadable expressions. Their allies were long gone, maybe they realized that Yongguk is, no, was the reason the police department had allowed civilians to die, disappear, and get assaulted, maybe they realized fighting now was unnecessary, or maybe it was the way the man you let run had spoken to everyone in hushed tones, voice soft and eyes softer. Zelo, Jongup, Himchan, and Youngjae disappeared as well and a voice in your head (that sounds awfully like Yongguk’s) says you haven’t seen the last of them.

“You two knew she was spying on us?” Kris interrupts, as he glances between Jongin and Sehun.

Sehun simply nods but before he can speak, you interrupt. “I wasn’t spying on you.”

“Why should I believe that?” Kris stares at you, expression hard, and you mentally curse Yongguk to hell. Hopefully he’s going there right now.

“You’re going to get mad at me when I saved you.” Your comment in a flat tone.

“With a half-assed plan that purely worked because of your ridiculous amount of luck.” Joonmyun intervenes in an exasperated tone. He’s bruised all over and slouching against Jongdae, tiredly.

“Okay, but it still worked.” You mumble.

Jessica throws her shoe at you and you don’t have the energy to block it. “You could have died if he caught on. Minhee could have blown up.”

“Those are details.” You whine, leaning your head down on the cool ground. “Why does it matter?”

“You could have died.” Jongdae glares at you, “Emphasis on died. Dead, deceased, resting in Hell.”

Kris nods and you pointedly ignore the fact that Jongdae just admitted he thinks you'd end up in Hell.

You stare at him, you stare around the group (Baekhyun and Kyungsoo missing since they were mobile enough to bring the car around), and then you give Kris a smug smile. “You’ve grown fond of me, haven’t you?”

“Just fond enough not to kill you for spying on us.” Kris snaps back, scowling. “Don’t worry, though. I'm sure I’ll kill you sooner or later.”

Jongdae snorts in laughter before groaning in pain and Yixing sighs, tiredly.

You swear you see a dark shadow in the corner of your eye, and when you look to see, there's nothing there except for Yongguk’s pale, lifeless body, lying exactly where you had shot him.

~.~.~.~.~

You haven’t had the time to wash up, to wipe away the blood on your hands and face, not when Minhee is currently in one of the guest rooms undergoing intense surgery. Going to the hospital was out of the question, especially when there was a bomb planted onto Minhee’s stomach. You don’t want to think about how many times Yixing had asked someone to haul in oxygen tanks or help him hold her down as he shocked her heartbeat back up to speed. The bomb was still active and you were terrified.

“You need to get yourself cleaned up.” A familiar voice fills the silence and you don’t have to look up to know who it is.

You don’t respond, you just remain curled up in your seat, the metallic stench of dried blood making you queasy. After a moment, he drapes a blanket over your lap, even as he sits down beside you, his knee touching yours.

There’s a long, long silence between the two of you.

He’s the first to break it. “I really thought you were going to do it.” You peer sideways at Baekhyun, but he’s staring at his lap, his expression hidden. “Shoot me, I mean.”

“Should quit business and take up acting, shouldn’t I?” You try for a joke but your tone comes out flat.

Baekhyun chuckles, a deep sound coming up from his chest and bubbling up out of his lips. Then he meets your eyes and his eyes search yours. “The reason you got drunk that night…and started crying when we were…did it have to do with Yongguk?”

Slowly, so slowly, you nod. Your eyes sting, but you keep the emotions at bay. You tap your ear, pointing at the room Minhee is in with your chin. You decide it’s time to come clean with him and tell him everything. “He told me if I didn’t follow his orders he would hurt her.”

“What did he tell you to do?” Baekhyun’s expression makes it apparent that he doesn’t want to know the answer.

You wring your hands together, sighing softly. “Kiss you, tell you I loved you, you, hurt you.” You whisper, sighing again.

He stiffens beside you and you wait for his angry outburst. It doesn’t come as you expect it to. You look at him curiously and he leans back, staring at the cieling. “I want to be angry. But. It’s the same as my orders back in the beginning, wasn’t it?”

You stare at him, your eyes going wide, and he stares right back. “But you mean it now, don’t you?” Your voice sounds so small to your ears, so fragile. You lean against his shoulder and peer up at him. He leans his head against yours for a moment, before pulling away.

He nods, smiling sadly. There’s so much adoration in his eyes, his lips tilting up fondly as well as sadly, but there’s a guarded, closed off look there as well. “I do.”

“I do, too. It was…it was under the wrong circumstances but everything I said was real.” Your hand finds his under the blankets and it brings you peace. His presence brings you peace. But it also brings you an underlying sense of dread. There’s an underlying sense of mistrust and paranoia you can’t seem to shake off; it’s constantly whispering at the back of your head and you hate how it sounds like Bang Yongguk. You sigh again. “How many times have we lied to each other?”

“Too many times.” Baekhyun murmurs. “I think…”

He doesn’t continue and you watch him fret in his seat, squirming cutely. You smile absentmindedly before sighing, understanding where he's going.

“Maybe we should…” You continue for him, trailing off and blinking back tears.

“Take a break.” He finishes, nodding, his eyes infinitesimally, anciently sorrowful.

You think of Minhee, half-dead in the guest room, of Jessica and Mina and you sigh. “We’ll need to rebuild and start over. I need to focus on them. On me.”

“Kris wants to start over, too.” Baekhyun’s expression is so, so understanding, softening at your words. “But when you’re back on your feet we can try again.” he says, nodding again. He sighs, for what feels like the hundredth time. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You tell him, as you play with his fingers, your hands fumbling in his. Your hair falls over your eyes and he reaches up to brush it away. “We’re human. We make mistakes. Stupid, terrible mistakes that ruin so much.” Your voice cracks at the end, your fingers latching onto his.

“You know that I love you, right?” Baekhyun watches as you nod, smile watery, and he squeezes your hands beneath the covers. Then, he unlatches himself from you, his eyes glassy. “Good. Don’t miss me too much, okay?”

You giggle, rolling your eyes. “I’ll try.”

He presses his lips against your forehead, the pressure firm. You don’t miss the way he hesitates when he leans in, the way you nearly flinch back at his touch. The trust isn’t as strong as it used to be and it’s so obvious, it hurts.

He cups your cheeks and presses his lips against the top of your head, once, twice, three times. Then he pulls back and walks away and you wonder if this was a mistake, too. Your chest hurts, deja vu falling over you.

Something flickers at the edge of your vision and you swear there’s a dark figure sitting at the opposite end of the couch, watching you with that same familiar grin. He’s always there. Soon you'll come to realize that he’ll always be there.

You want to start over but you don’t think it’ll be possible, too much has happened. You’ll miss Baekhyun too much, you'll miss his touch, his voice, his ridiculous jokes, his kisses.

Maybe you are making another mistake.

---

a/n: The epilogue will be shorter and so much more fun and cuter and fluffier i swear to you!!!! omg I can't write any more angst

I have nothing to say except this was wild af to write and please tell me all your thoughts omg. I'm nervous about this for some reason.

Love you all :)