The Breakup
good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere
chapter 21;
You wake up feeling extremely groggy and incredibly warm. Sighing, you sit up, rubbing your eyes, and wonder when exactly you had gotten to your bedroom. You sit up on your knees and look around, confused. That’s when Baekhyun walks into your room, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair messy as he scrolls through his phone.
He meets your eyes and you gape at him. “What the hell?” You mutter, eventually, when you realize that everything before you fell asleep was not some kind of fever dream. Suddenly you feel cold.
“Good afternoon to you, too.” Baekhyun mutters, rolling his eyes.
“What. The. Hell?” You repeat in a louder tone, eyes wide because it’s Baekhyun.
“You already said that.” Baekhyun gives you an amused smirk.
“What are you doing here? What time is it? What are you doing here?” You say, quickly, trying to keep the slight panic out of your voice.
Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at your words as he places his phone on your dresser. “It’s two in the afternoon. Why do you keep repeating yourself? I heard you the first time.” He says in a derisive tone. Then he kneels against your bed and reaches out, pressing his fingers against your forehead gently. “You still have a fever.” He mutters, almost to himself.
You pull away from him, frowning. “You’re not. We’re not. What are you doing here?” You repeat, your voice dropping to whisper and your head spinning from the sudden movement.
He just looks at you, eyes searching yours, as he sits down at the edge of your bed. “I might be angry at you, but you look very sad when you’re sick. It’s hard to stay angry.” He says, quietly, glancing away for a moment.
You blink at him, your cheeks heating up. “So what?” You start, tone too loud. “You’re going to help me get better and then you’re going to go right back to threatening me and my friends?”
“Essentially, yes.” Baekhyun says, his tone suddenly cold. He’s not looking at you, however, and it makes your heart twist.
“I hate you.” You say, weakly, clutching your pillow tightly.
“I know.” He says, softly, his eyes fixed on your dresser.
“Do you hate me?” You ask, quietly, fever making it hard to filter your words.
“Not today.” Baekhyun says and you cringe a little. He sighs, loudly, before he stands up, pushing his sleeves up. Then he holds out a slender hand, over the bed in your direction. “Come on. Kyungsoo said something about breaking fevers with a lukewarm bath, whatever the hell that means.” He watches you carefully, his hand outstretched, and his eyes almost soft, like melted chocolate.
It takes a moment before you sigh in resignation and take his hand, ignoring the way his cold fingers thread through yours as he leads you down the hall. You trail into bathroom behind him, watching as he dips a hand into the tub before shrugging. He turns to look at you, for a moment, eyes taking you in and you find that you can’t exactly meet his eyes. Then he smiles, so sweetly, before leaving the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. You continue staring at the door long after he’s gone and honestly you think this is infinitely worse than all his silent treatments and mind-numbing lunch room conversations. He’s being nice to you and you missed it so much; you missed him so much. But it’s only for a day. It’s only for one ing day and that makes you want to actually hate him.
~.~.~.~.~
You blink awake to loud knocking and shiver because the water is freezing now. Your body doesn’t feel like it’s on fire like before but you still feel very tired. You think you could sleep for days. “What?” You call as you let a hand drag through the bubbles in the bath.
The door creeks open and Baekhyun peeks in, sighing after a moment. “You’ve been in here for two hours.”
“Just making sure I didn’t drown?” You ask, sarcastically.
“Yeah, pretty much.” He responds as he pushes open the door. You notice a towel in his hands. “Come out before you become a prune.” Baekhyun adds, looking at you quite seriously.
You can’t help but laugh at that and he smiles, slightly. You hold out your arm and he hands you the towel, watching you with a strange expression. When you nod at the door pointedly, he still doesn’t budge. “ert.” You tell him, glaring.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen everything already.” Baekhyun says with a shrug and smirk. When you keep glaring, though, blushing, he rolls his eyes and leaves.
You quickly get out of the bathtub and put on the sweater and shorts Baekhyun pulled out for you. When you step out of the bathroom, you find Baekhyun leaning against the wall just beside the door. You jump when he presses his palm against your forehead, checking for a fever. “It went down.” You tell him.
“I noticed.” He says, his fingers lingering. He brushes a few strands of wet hair out of your eyes and you can’t help but glance down at his lips. Why do you always want to kiss him? You know it’ll only hurt you. You glance back up at his eyes and he looks he wants to kiss you, too. But instead he pulls away, stepping back, his fingers slipping away from your face, and you feel both relieved and so, so disappointed.
“Sorry.” You mutter, fighting the urge to run away.
Baekhyun doesn’t say anything for a long time and you don’t look at him (because you really don’t want to see his face anymore).
Soft fingers wrap around your wrist and you blink, in surprise. “It’s okay.” He says, reassuringly, turning away. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
You let him lead you down the hall, your cheeks flushed in a way you know has nothing to do with your fever.
~.~.~.~.~
Neither of you talk while you eat and it’s awkward, at least for you. You’re already feeling better and you know he’ll have to leave soon, especially whenever Jessica and Minhee decide to check in.
So you eventually find yourself sitting on the couch, a variety show playing softly on the TV. Baekhyun sits on the other side of the couch, swiping through his phone intently, his eyes either on his phone or on the TV.
“Why did you do this?” You ask, eventually, when the silence becomes too much and the rattling of the variety show hosts gets irritating.
“Why do you ask so many questions?” Baekhyun sighs, a little snappily.
“Didn’t I tell you that I didn’t need your help?” You reply, rubbing your arms a bit because it was beginning to get cold.
Baekhyun stares at you, then, his eyes full of fire. “Of course I’m going to help you when you’re sick, you idiot.” Baekhyun mutters, rolling his eyes. “I liked you.” Baekhyun sighs, then, his expression morphing into one of disbelief as if he can’t believe he said that out loud. You stare at him, incredulously, because he actually admitted it out loud, even if it’s in the past tense, he admitted it.
“I liked you a lot and you lied to me. I don’t know if I still like you or not.” Baekhyun says, quickly, as if he doesn’t really want to say what he’s saying. His voice becomes incredibly soft and you’re surprised at how vulnerable he looks, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. “It’s confusing.” He murmurs as he stares at his hands.
“You lied to me, too.” You say, eyes fixed on him from across the couch. He opens his mouth to retort but you quickly cut him off. “I liked you a lot, too, Baek. I…I still do.” You practically breathe out the last part, wondering if this was some kind of trick of his. You wonder if you’re going to regret admitting this to him.
His head snaps up, his eyes widening and a flash of emotions hitting him all at once. You can’t quite read any of them, though, because suddenly his expression goes blank, the sudden onslaught of unreadable emotions disappearing completely. He looks calm as he stares at you, his eyes unwavering and solid. He also looks a little sad. Baekhyun turns in his spot, stretching his arms out. “Come here.” He murmurs, gently, and you don’t even hesitate, immediately shuffling towards him and into his outstretched arms.
Baekhyun pulls you up onto his lap and you straddle him, resting your head against his chest. You’re shaking a little and you realize it’s because you’ve finally admitted it. You’ve finally admitted that you still really like Baekhyun. And it hurts a lot more than you care to admit. You take a deep breath as Baekhyun rubs soothing circles into your back, his fingers tangled in your damp hair.
“It doesn’t matter how we feel, you know that right?” Baekhyun murmurs. You pull away, your face a few centimeters away from his. Baekhyun looks so, so sad and you’re pretty sure your expression is mirroring his. Because he’s right. “It doesn’t matter anymore...” Baekhyun says, eyes never leaving yours.
“Not after everything.” You finish, nodding slightly, your fingers tightening against his chest.
“Exactly. It won’t be right. Not to Yixing, not to Mina, not to Tao, not to Jessica.” Baekhyun is speaking in an incredibly soft tone now and your heart twists because he’s right. It doesn’t matter how the two of you feel about each other anymore. It’s always family first and you and Baekhyun both know that. “I can’t betray my family.”
You nods, your throat burning and your eyes itching. “I understand. I can’t betray mine either.” You say. “I understand, Baekhyun.”
His fingers dig into your waist and your fingers latch onto his shirt, wrinkling it. “After today, everything will go back to how it was before. I’ll only speak to you for official business and that’s it.” Baekhyun grimaces and you can’t help but smile. “So…go on a date with the upgrade or something, okay? Just…you deserve better. You deserve to be happy.”
You stare at him and you refuse to cry. You refuse to do anything but smile, softly, reassuringly. You can’t ‘play with him’ as Yongguk had put it because it won’t just hurt you, it’ll hurt him, and you’ve never really wanted that, not really. You stare at him, eyes searching his. You’ll have to deal with him during LILAC and EXO encounters and you know that despite his feelings, he’ll still try to hurt you, just like how you’ll still try to hurt him. Because in the mafia world, nothing is truly forgiven. It’s always an eye for an eye.
“You deserve it, too.” You whisper, your nose bumping against his. “Just don’t go flaunting it.” You mutter, wrinkling your nose distastefully. He smiles, his sharp teeth appearing and you sigh. “So after you leave, everything will go back to how it was before?” You ask, quietly, not wanting to break the fragile tension building between the two of you.
“Yeah.” He breathes, nodding, his eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, it will. I guess this is a proper breakup, isn’t it?” Baekhyun asks, his arms winding around your waist and bringing you closer.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” You say with a chuckle and a dramatic voice and he giggles, making your heart melt just a tiny bit. In a way, you’re glad that this is a ‘proper breakup’. You’re glad because now you have some type of closure. Now you know you’ll only have to deal with EXO’s Baekhyun, not your Baekhyun. But it still makes you sad. You can’t help but stare at him, at the mole just above his upper lip, at his soft smile.
The next thing you know, he’s kissing you.
It’s soft and chaste; his lips warm and comforting while his fingers brush against your sides, pulling you closer. You respond immediately, your fingers tangling into his hair. Then something seems to snap and everything becomes desperate, like he’s kissing you for the last time, and it makes your heart break and your hands tremble against the nape of his neck. You press into him, only wanting to get closer somehow, and Baekhyun’s grip tightens, like he doesn’t want to let go. His fingers travel down to the hem of your sweater and your fingers are already clawing at the skin beneath his.
But then he pulls away, so suddenly, gasping for breath, and the desperate tension snaps, the realization of what almost happened becoming more prominent. The room is filled with the sound of the two of you breathing hard just centimeters away from each other, your fingers digging into his smooth skin, chest to chest and nose to nose. You take in the sight of him, hair a mess and pink lips swollen and you can’t stop shaking. Slowly, he reaches out for you, the action almost hesitant. He rubs his hands up and down your forearms, eyes full of a bitter sort of resentment that you’ve decided you hate seeing on his face. “Are you cold?” He asks, voice full of concern.
You’re not cold, you’re upset. You don’t want to let him go. But you just nod and he smiles, his eyes forming the tiniest crescent moons and you think it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. You curl into his chest and he rests his chin against the top of your head, comfortable silence enveloping the two of you, the TV humming softly in the background. You fleetingly wish you could stay in his arms for the rest of your life.
~.~.~.~.~
You wake up to a loud buzzing and someone moving underneath you. You rub your eyes and find yourself face-to-face with a blinking Baekhyun. Somehow, you’ve ended up lying on top of Baekhyun, who’s flat on his back on the couch, one leg tangled through yours and the other dangling off the couch. He gives you a sheepish smile before he stretches off the couch and grasps for something. You realize it’s his phone and the vibrating was what woke you up.
You watch, with your chin resting on his chest, as he answers the phone and lies back on the couch pillow, one of his hands finding your hair, his eyes dark as he looks at you.
“Hey, what’s up?” He answers, glancing down at you. You just smile at him, tiredly, as he plays with your hair and talks on the phone. You wouldn’t have thought much of his conversation if it wasn’t for the way his expression slowly morphs from sleepy content to confusion and horror in just the span of a few seconds. “What? Are you serious—wait, hyung, calm down. Okay. Yeah. I’m coming. I’m coming. I’ll be there in five minutes. Give me five minutes.” He speaks hurriedly, before snapping his phone shut. You watch in confusion as he begins to sit up, smoothly lifting you off of him, and rolls off the couch, leaving you lying on the couch in confusion.
“What happened?” You ask, your voice still a little hoarse from sleeping.
He stops in his tracks and turns to you, eyes traveling up and down your body before they stay fixed on your face. “I can’t tell you. But it’s. It’s important.” Baekhyun stumbles over his words, his shoes dangling from his fingers.
“Is it bad?” You ask, wondering if someone’s hurt.
He nods, slowly. “I won’t be seeing you again.” He murmurs. “Not like this.”
You cross your arms as you stand there, shuffling in your place just a bit, big toe digging into the carpet. “Goodbye, Baekhyun.” You tell him, in resignation.
He smiles, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Baekhyun oppa.” He corrects, eyebrows raised.
You roll your eyes and relent, just this once. “Goodbye, oppa.” You mutter, sarcastically.
He bites his lip then, eyes melting. “Of course you’d say it at the very end.” He admonishes with a roll of his eyes. “Bye, Sooyong-ah.”
And then you watch as he backs away from you, until he’s swiveling on his heels and walking out the door, careful not to glance over his shoulder as he leaves. The door clicks shut behind him and the soft noise feels ten times louder to you.
You want to cry, you want to scream. But you don’t have time for that. Not when your own cell phone starts to ring from your room, the shrill tone hurting your head.
~.~.~.~.~
“Sooyong!” You turn on your heels and finally spot Minhee in the corner, in front of the convenience store you remember she works at; since her parents believe she ‘needs to have a good work ethic’ even if she really doesn’t need to work there. You figure she only works there so her parents won’t bother her and somehow find out about her side job.
You hurry down the street, taking care to look as discreet and unsuspicious as possible. Who knows how many mafia members are roaming the streets right now. Especially since most of them know you’re a part of a mafia, thanks to Yongguk’s ‘Phase Two’.
Minhee looks you up and down for a moment, concern coloring her pale features. “You look better than you did this morning. Did you get some rest?” Minhee asks, touching your arm.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a cold.” You say, quickly, eyeing the way Minhee’s dressed in khakis and a collared shirt, a name tag pinned to her chest and her short, blonde hair tied back, fringe constantly getting into her eyes. She looks tired and incredibly anxious. You can’t believe you didn’t notice that yet. You usually do. “What’s going on? Why’d you ask me to meet you when you’re working?”
Minhee stares at you, eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you okay?” She asks, suddenly, lips pursed.
“I’m fine.” You respond, your tone coming snappier than you intended, as Minhee’s eyebrow raise suggests. You quickly rein in your tone, forcing it to be gentler. “I’m fine, unnie. I want to know if you’re okay. What’s wrong?”
Minhee purses her lips before she beckons you into the store, winding through rusty old shelves until the two of you reach a door labeled Employees Only. She plops down onto the couch in the corner and flips open her laptop, her lips still pursed. “I don’t think…I don’t think we should trust Yongguk.” She says, after a moment.
You take a seat beside her on the ratty old couch, watching as she pulls up a folder full of files. You look at her seriously, “I don’t trust Bang Yongguk.”
Minhee rolls her wide eyes, blowing the hair out of her eyes. “I know that. I just don’t think we should work with him.”
“Why not?” You ask, genuinely curious.
Minhee turns her attention to her computer and switches through different files. “I was bored, you know the usual.” You make a face at that but don’t comment. Last time Minhee was bored, she had hacked through SM National Bank’s security systems and had convinced everyone to rob the place. Minhee continues speaking, her eyes darting across her computer screen. “And I found some records on Yongguk and B.A.P.”
You purse your lips, “Like what?”
Minhee frowns, “They don’t exactly work for EXO. Or at least I think they don’t.” Minhee points at a PDF file, the document long and full of numbers, obviously scanned from an old piece of frayed paper.
“Minhee, I’m still working on reading fine print.” You say, squinting at the document.
Minhee chuckles a little. “They were EXO’s rivals, back in the beginning. Their rivalry and turf wars were practically common knowledge. Innocent people from both TS District and SM Town were caught in the middle and the crime rate was ten times worse than it is now. But, here’s the thing, B.A.P. was never exactly popular, nationally. These numbers right…here indicate that they specialized in exports. Like a ridiculous amount of exports, from drugs to es to illegal weapons.” Minhee scrolls a bit before highlighting a few symbols with her cursor. “These numbers indicate that they have a huge following of clientele outside of South Korea, almost on par with EXO’s, nationally and internationally.” Then Minhee moves onto another document and you recognize it as a hospital bill. “This went on for years until all I found were a bunch of hospital bills.” Minhee says, looking at you. “After that, the rivalry ended. EXO’s international exports rose exponentially and B.A.P faded out of the public eye.”
“Who are those hospital bills for?” You ask, not even bothering to question how Minhee got her hands on any of these documents in the first place. You fleetingly wonder why anyone would even document any of this in the first place.
“Jung Daehyun.” She says. “There’s nothing but his name and Yongguk’s signature signing off the hospital bills.”
“Jung Daehyun.” You repeat, thoughtfully, wondering who exactly he is.
Minhee sighs, nodding. “Yeah. But…he’s dead. He died a few days after the last hospital visit, according to official records.”
You stare at Minhee, your mind whirring with the new information. Minhee looks like she wants to say something, but she’s biting her lips. “What is it? What are you thinking?” You prompt, eyeing Minhee.
“I think there’s more to this then we know. I think this isn’t just about Bang Yongguk’s sense of injustice.” Minhee explains, slowly. She opens to continue before she closes it, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You watch as she stops midsentence and reaches into her pocket. She pulls out her phone and you watch as her expression fills to the brim with worry.
She shows you the text message and your mouth falls open, a sense of dread filling through you. Oh no.
From: Jess
SOS 52nd Street Downtown
“C’mon, my car is in the back.” Minhee says, snapping her laptop shut. “Ahjussi, I’m going on lunch break!” She calls out before she hurries out the back door, not waiting for an answer. You skid after her, your heart lodged in your throat.
~.~.~.~.~
There’s a single rundown warehouse on 52nd Street, just at the outskirts of town. You stare up at the looming building from the passenger seat of Minhee’s car. “Should we wear the masks?” Minhee asks, her gaze following yours as she turns the engine off.
You shake your head. “No. Almost everybody already knows we’re in a mafia. It won’t be much of a surprise. We just can’t let them know we’re LILAC.” You say as you step out of the car.
You finger the gun inside of your jacket as you step towards an open door on one side of the warehouse, frowning at the fact that the door is practically unhinged and rotting. Where are they? Who the would bring Jessica here? You can name a few people but just thinking about it makes your blood boil.
You step in first, peeking around the corner, Minhee trailing close behind you. You can hear faint voices and you make your way towards the voices, carefully stepping down the winding, rundown halls, the musty smell of the abandoned warehouse making your nose itch.
You turn the corner and come to a screeching halt, Minhee almost stumbling into your back.
You’re looking into a huge room with high ceilings and boxes everywhere. But what makes you pause first is the sight of Jessica standing there, eyes wide, as she stares off in the distance, towards something you can’t quite see. But standing behind her, eyes just as wide and startled, is Oh Sehun, one of his hands outstretched, fingers curled around the back of Jessica’s jacket, as if he’s holding her back from something.
Slowly, you step closer, the gun feeling heavy in your hands and you follow their eyes.
Then you blink, Minhee’s gasp form behind you echoing throughout the warehouse.
Standing just a few meters away from Sehun and Jessica is a familiar face, blonde hair too long and dimples you don’t think you’d ever really forget. It’s Yixing. Your eyes trace the raised, red scar that runs from the corner of his left eye down to the tip of the left side of his lips. You specifically remember that he never had a scar like that. He’s wearing dark jeans and dark jacket, but there’s something weary about his outfit, as if he’s been traveling outside for days.
And standing beside him, a loose blue scarf wrapped around her head and mouth, is another familiar figure. At first your brain can’t process her but then she locks eyes with you, and your stomach flips, your heart dropping to the very pit of your stomach. You’ll never forget those eyes and your brain quickly puts two and two together.
It’s Mina.
She looks thinner, her dirty white shirt is maybe two sizes too large and the blue scarf covering half of her face is frayed at the edges. You open your mouth but you have nothing to say. Not when she drops the scarf away from her head and you’re hit with the sight of bright red and pink scars trailing up the right side of her face, marring her features. They’re burn marks, you realize, and they’re caressing her face like a blood red hand. Your eyes follow the trail of scars down her jaw, past the blue scarf, and all you can do is stare.
Mina smiles at you, only the left half of twitches upwards while the right half remains still, stuck almost, the image of the burns across her otherwise smooth skin burrowing itself into your brain. The sight of her makes you want to cry. Because she's hurt. Permanently. And you couldn't do anything about it. You still can't do anything about it. “Sooyong-ah. Minhee unnie” She calls, her voice strange due to the immobility of half of her face.
Your eyes begin to burn and you blink, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.
Mina’s eyes are trained on you and Yixing watches you intently from beside her.
“I’m back.”
a/n: oh wow this is my quickest update yet probably!!
there are less than four chapters left how do you guys feel? do you need anything are you comfortable omg this is exciting
THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS WELCOME SO PLS TELL ME ALL OF THEM THEY MOTIVATE ME (which is pretty much why I updated this quickly eep)!!
is about to hit the fan...again
i'm excited, can you tell?
AS USUAL
50 UPVOTES = A CHAPTER FROM BAEKHYUN'S POV
i love you all so much omg thanks for reading
(ps i have a oneshot for a writing contest and it's angst/psychological genre with a ton of pairings (the main ones are baekyeol and chenlay) so pls check that out?
comment, upvote, subscribe, and most importantly enjoy <3
xo
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