I walked up to the school gates with Luhan. As we entered, students were all looking at my direction. Some were whispering. I looked at Luhan and he seemed confused too. He just motioned for me to keep walking. 

We entered the room and as soon as they saw me they all stopped talking. I looked at Sunmi, Chanyeol and Baekhyun but they all looked away. I went to my seat and wondered what the hell is happening. I saw Yuri entered the room carrying a bucket of water but didnt dare to look at her not until I felt cold water dripping down on me. I looked up and saw her glaring at me. She raised her hand and was about to slap me when Chanyeol caught her hand. 

"You're going too far, Yuri." Chanyeol said in his low-toned voice. 

Yuri took her hand away. "How could you date someone else? How could you betray my brother?!" 

I was shocked. Is this about Kyungsoo? I looked around and see most of our classmates looking shocked and whispering to themselves. I'm not even dating Kyungsoo and yet the trouble it caused is so big already. What more could happen if I do date him? I felt Sunmi wipe my dripping hair and clothes with her towel. 

I dont deserve any of this. I dont deserve this. 

"Nana, are you okay?" Luhan asked me. I heard others asked if I was okay but it felt like they were too far away. I stared at the blankness in front of me. I wish I could just faint right now. 

"I'm not dating anyone." I heard myself talk. "And I'm not betraying anyone." 

I stood up and looked at Yuri who just scoffed. 

"Are you crazy? Did you just heard what you've just said?" Yuri shouted. "You are betraying my brother!" 

"I'm not betraying your brother!" I shouted back. "All this time I let you do things your way because you are Taehyung's sister. But how long do you want me to suffer? How long do you want me to be miserable about the fact that my boyfriend died and had left me?"

"You know what?" I continued. "Your brother, my boyfriend, told me that his dying wish is to see me smile even when he's in heaven already. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to live life like how we want to. And I never ever let his wish be granted. Because of you, Yuri. Because I dont want you to suffer alone. And because I was afraid that I would forget Taehyung. But everytime I think about his dying wish the more I think that maybe your brother is right. That I should be happy or more like I should let myself be happy. I love your brother so much and anyone in this room knows that! Now tell me, how long do you want me to dig my own grave because of sadness? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you, Yuri." 

Yuri walked towards me and leaned in, "As long as you're alive, I want you to suffer." 

She walked out of the classroom as soon as Kyungsoo entered. I looked at him and he looked at me with confusion in his eyes. 

"What happened? What happened to you?" Kyungsoo touched my shoulder but I shook it away. 

"Get away from me."  I told him as tears started to fall from my eyes. "And take your feelings with you." 

I went out of the room. I heard Kyungsoo called me but I never looked back. I dont want to look back. I keep walking and walking until I'm near the back door exit of the school. I was about to go out when someone pulled me. 

"Dont touch me!" I screamed. 

"Hey hey. It's me Luhan." I looked at Luhan, who looked really worried. "I'm sorry but I just cant let you be alone" 

I went out and he followed. I sat at the spot where we sat last chuseok. 

"It's not like I'm going to kill myself." I told him.

"Who knows," He answered back. "It was the first time I saw you mad. Like really mad," 

"I cant keep it any longer." I sighed. "I'm like a ticking time bomb. And I just blew up awhile ago." 

"What are your plans?" 

"Plans?" 

"Kyungsoo? Yuri? Your life?" He asked. 

"I want them both out of my life." I said. 

"But you know you like kyungsoo." Luhan said as he looked at me, waiting for my answer. 

"Love was never enough reason to hold on." I told him and smiled. 

Luhan put his hand around me and I leaned my head in his shoulders. I let myself cry and let myself be at peace.