Space Bound - Eminem

 

if you've listened to the song, you might be able to guess how the story ends.

 

 

---

 

 

Here I am, walking aimlessly on the streets again. A familiar feeling of emptiness engulfed me again, the living soul out of me only to leave this empty vessel behind. The last time I had this feeling was when my boyfriend cheated on me with my bestfriend. Or is it when a group of my bestfriends left me when they found out about my depression. Or is it when... 

 

Okay. No. This feeling never left. It's always here inside me. It has been residing in me since as long as I could ever remember.

 

But

 

somehow, it temporarily moved out when someone came into my life. Someone came and took its place, and for once in my life, I felt.... 

 

...happy. But now I realized it was all short-lived. 

 

The happiness was like the calm before the storm; it was so peaceful, it was almost unbelievable. That calm made you believe that it wass safe for you to be defenseless and vulnerable. And being the fool I am, I got tricked and right now, I am stranded in the storm, unprepared. Devastated.

 

 

 

Some guy suddenly bumped into me. I saw him talking, more specifically cursing at me but none of his words were registered into my mind. I stared at him and studied his expression. He was mad at me. Perhaps, it was because I spilled his coffee or something, but I just turned away and started walking again. He pushed me. I stumbled a bit but I ignored everything and just resumed my pace. 

 

 

 

Jessica. 

 

If I am a meteorologist and I had to name a damn huge incoming hurricane that is going to destroy a sad, wrecked and abandoned town, that is my heart, I am going to name it Jessica. I guess now I know why hurricanes were named after women, perhaps they were the names of someone's exes. 

 

I'm never the type of person who would get involved in all this lovey dovey bull because I've always thought that they are all mere lies. This love thing, for me, is just something that is created by dreamy people; dreamy people who like to fantasize about the possible list of things that would make them happy and Love is the perfect thing to top the list.

 

They said, love will make your life worth while. It's true. 

 

Love does make my life worth while; it was worth everything while it lasted. And I sacrifice anything just to make it last a little bit longer, if not forever. I am not even sure how she could magically break through the Great Wall of Insecurities and Hurt that has been guarding my heart but she did it. I've pushed her away, I've neglected her, I've hurt her for so many times with the expectation that she would run away and leave me like everyone else but she didn't. She proved to me that she is different. She proved to me that I need her in my life.

 

They said, in life, everyone is going to hurt you at some point; you just have to find a person who's worth the pain. But they never really tell you how painful it's going to be. They never told me that the pain would be this torturous. If only I knew it's going to be this excruciating, I would stay away. 

 

I would certainly stay away.

 

 

 

Suddenly, a blaring honk snapped me out of my trance. My feet were nailed to the ground. I couldn't move a nerve. A strong beam of light blinded me. I closed my eyes and just prepare myself for what's coming before I heard a screeching sound. I felt nothing. The smell of burning tires filled my lungs. 

 

I opened my eyes only to see a car stopping right in front of me. "ARE YOU CRAZY!" the driver yelled at me but his anger turned to concern when he saw the hollowness in my eyes. I replied with a short "I'm fine" and "Sorry" before I left the scene like nothing ever happened. 

 

 

 

"Wouldn't it be better if I got hit by that car and die." I asked myself. 

 

Perhaps that would make her realize how important I am to her. Perhaps that would make her come back to me. Perhaps that would make her beg for my dear life. Perhaps that would make her feel the pain I am feeling right now.

 

That would certainly make a good drama, wouldn't it? And at the end, Jessica and I would be together again. Such a perfect happy ending. 

 

 

 

I smiled to myself as I imagined that. However, the smile disappeared as soon as it appeared; it disappeared when I realized that I was dreaming of the impossible again.

 

But why?

 

Why does she have to marry that guy? I know it's because of her parents but she never listened to them before, why start now? Is it me?

 

It must be me. It has always been because of me. I guess the odds have always been stacked against me. my life.

 

 

 

I didn't know how or when I reached my place, but I did. I fished in my pocket for the keys and opened the door. I entered my apartment and closed the door behind me.

 

"Sooyoung." It was her voice. 

 

I must be hallucinating now. I've stopped taking my meds when I was with her. I guess now I need them back.

 

 

"Where have you been?" 

 

Nice. Now I can feel her hands touching my face. 

 

 

"Are you real?" I bluntly asked this image I was seeing.

 

 

"Yes. This is me. Jessica. I'm so worried about you." She cupped my cheeks. Her eyes were glistening. I wonder why she was crying when she was the one who's hurting me. Was she crying out of guilt?

 

"Where have you been?" she asked.

 

 

I just stared at her. 

 

 

 

 

I ran out of words to say.

No. To be honest, there were too many things to say that they all got stucked at the tip of my tongue. 

 

 

 

 

So, I just stared at her, hoping that somehow she could read them through my gaze.

 

She started crying. "Please say something, Soo. I'm sorry. But there's nothing I could do."

 

 

She knows how broken I am. She knew how broken I was before she came into my life, I bet she knows how broken I am right now when she is about to leave it.

 

"Stay. You can stay." I said before I caught a glimpse of a foreign figure behind her.

 

 

My heart was flaming with anger at the sight of the man. 

 

"Is that him?"

 

 

Jessica hung her head low, still crying. Her arms were hanging loosely on my shoulders. Her sobs were louder now.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled.

 

 

That is the man that is going to take my Jessica away from me. That is the culprit. He destroyed everything.

 

Anger and hatred clouded my mind. "I cannot lose you."

 

 

"I cannot lose you." My eyes were locked on him but he was out of my reach. 

 

 

"I cannot lose you." I looked at Jessica who was staring back at me.

 

 

"I CANNOT LOSE YOU!" I snapped. My hands were moving on their own as they grabbed Jessica by her neck and started strangling her. I pinned her against the wall, trapping her.

 

"If I can't have you, NO ONE ELSE COULD!" She was choking. Her hands were holding onto my wrists. 

 

 

"Soo- Sooyoung..." she croaked.

 

 

 

Suddenly I felt a hard jab on my cheek. That punch threw me on the ground.

 

"HAE!" Jessica exclaimed in between her coughs, "YOU DON'T TOUCH HER!" 

 

Jessica knelt in front of me, caressing my face.

 

 

 

"That freak was trying to kill you!" That guy shouted back.

 

"She's not! Stay out of this." Jessica glared at him. "Are you okay?" she turned her attention to me again.

 

 

 

"Sica. Please." I begged her for one last time. "Stay with me. I can't live without you. Please. You know I would do anything for you. You know how much I love you. I won't hurt you for the world. Please. Don't leave me."

 

She hugged me tight. Her face was buried in my neck. I could feel her tears trickling against my skin. Her arms were wrapped around my neck. 

 

She pulled back to kiss me on my lips. "You know how much I wanted to be with you, right?" She smiled but her lips were trembling because of her crying.

 

She kissed my forehead and cupped my face. "Promise me you'll be alright. Promise me you'll open your heart for someone who deserves that big heart of yours." I stayed unmoved. 

 

 

"Jessi. Let's go." That scumbag said.

 

 

Slowly, Jessica started to let go of me, withdrawing her touch that I longed so much.

 

"Promise me you'll be okay. I'll call you, okay?"

 

Slowly, she got up and walked to the door.

 

Slowly, she walked out of my apartment. And my life. And for the last time, I caught her gaze before she closed the door.

 

 

 

Slowly 

 

but surely, I've lost her forever.

 

 

 

 

Author's POV

 

 

3 days later.

 

 

"Jessica! Why are you still on your phone!" Tiffany exclaimed. "Give it to me." She drew her hand out, gesturing for the phone.

 

 

"No, Fany. This is important." 

 

 

"What is more important than your wedding day, huh?" 

 

 

Jessica was still looking at her phone with worry plastered all over her face.

 

 

"Excuse me, Jess. I'm talking to you here."

 

 

"It's Sooyoung. She is not answering any of my calls since the last time I met her."

 

 

"You can't expect her to celebrate, can you?" Taeyeon butted in.

 

 

"Tae!" Tiffany glared at her girlfriend. "Try not to ruin my bestfriend's wedding please."

 

 

"What? Sooyoung is my bestfriend too. And obviously she is hurt because someone is being such a coward and-"

 

 

"KIM TAEYEON!" Tiffany cut the shorter girl's speech.

 

 

 

"It's okay. I know it's my fault." Jessica muttered. Tiffany rubbed the girl's back, trying to calm her. "Tae?" 

 

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"Can you please go and check on Sooyoung now?" Jessica said, almost pleading.

 

 

"Now?" Taeyeon asked.

 

 

Jessica nodded. "Call me when you're with her. And please stay with her until the wedding ends. I'll go straight to her apartment when everything ended."

 

 

Taeyeon just huffed and walked away from the scene. 

 

 

 

 

After awhile...

 

 

"Jessica! For God's sake! Your wedding is about to start! Put that damn phone away!" Tiffany was more nervous about the wedding than bride herself.

 

 

"Just a sec. I'm waiting for Tae to-" Just then, her phone rang and Taeyeon's caller ID was on the screen. 

 

 

"Taeyeon! How's-"

 

 

Jessica was silenced. "Jess?" Tiffany called out. "Is everything okay?" she asked when she saw her bestfriend's face was turning pale; her hands started to tremble before she dropped her phone to the ground.

 

"Jess?"

 

 

Tiffany picked up the phone from the floor. "Tae? What happened?" 

 

 

 

 

And Tiffany was just as shocked as everyone else when she heard the news from Taeyeon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Fany-ah, Sooyoung committed suicide. She left a note saying,

 

 

'Everything is alright now. I'm fine. Be happy.  I love you.'"

 

 

 

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Sorry for any errors. I don't have enough time to re-read this :/

This is perhaps one of the crappiest thing I've wrote. Sorry. I got stuck in the middle of writing :(

But since the song itself is a story so, I didn't have to change it so much...

 

Thanks for your comments! ^^ I really appreciate them.

Don't forget to drop some song titles in the comment box too :)