It's a request by an anonymous 

Sara Bareilles - City

 

Hey. I tried.

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“Cut!

 

Everyone, take 5!” The director sighed after he managed to give a brief glare at the main star.

“I’m sorry,” the lady apologized to her dancers. One of them gave her a pat on her back, the others walked away from the main frame. She took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh herself. She rubbed her neck as she made her way to the director.

“I’m sorry. I kinda lost my focus.”

The director let out another sigh. “Listen,” he said, “if you can’t focus, let’s just continue this tomorrow, okay? There’s no point in wasting precious time if we are going to be stuck at one scene, for the whole day.”

She’s never good at accepting direct criticism, especially not when she’s tired. “I am trying, okay?” she turned away from the director and head to her trailer. She was trying. Hard. It was just, she wasn’t used to be alone so much.

She thought she could handle herself now.

She didn’t realize it was going to be this hard. Being alone and away. Or chasing her dreams. Or being free.

Everything seems fairly easy. You think you can swim through the ocean until you jump in only to ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”

 

Mid-way, someone stopped her. He held her wrist to stop her steps.

“Jessi. Where are you going?”

“Trailer,” she replied.

“Hey, let’s just stay here for a while. The shoot is going to start soon.”

 

She turned to look at the guy and said, “You know what? Let’s just skip this scene. Just use whatever it is we have. I’m done. Ask one of your boys to drive me back to the hotel.”

“What?” the guy questioned, baffled by her sudden decision. “But we’re not done yet. Yah! Stop being so lazy!” He raised his voice only to talk to the girl’s back. He sighed and ruffled his hair.

“Unbelievable,” he grumbled, “Just unbelievable. Now I have to explain this to that douche.” Referring to the director who is his friend.

 

Meanwhile, Jessica arrived at her trailer only to realize it was locked and the key was with the driver.

“URRRRGGGGHHHHHH.” She threw her face towel at the trailer door. “!”

 

“Hard day?”

She was frozen when she heard the familiar voice. While trying to check for her sanity, she heard the same voice, calling her. “Sica-yah.”

 

I must be hallucinating again. Damn it.

 

“Do you hate me that much that you refuse to turn around?” the voice asked.

Reluctantly, she finally turned to the source.

 

A familiar surprise.

“Sooyoung?” she called out.

 

“Hey, beautiful. Are you okay?”

Oh, that familiar smile. How I miss it.

 

“You- you are here?” She stuttered, still trying to keep her spazzing mind straight.

 

“Of course!” she stared at Sooyoung and her warm, much-missed smile, “You told me you’re here and you want me to come.”

 

“I told you it was a wrong text,” Jessica tried to cover up a pathetic text - the text that you usually write at 3 am, half-drunk and half-awake, when you’re ridiculously emotional. The one that you would send and regret it the morning after.

 

“I know.” Sooyoung walked closer to girl and leaned against the trailer, studying the face that she missed so much. It has been awhile since they met face-to-face.

She wore a proud grin on her face when she saw a tint of pink on the latter’s face.

“I’m just grateful that your phone was stupid enough to send a wrong text to me but has my name in it.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You miss me. Admit it.” Sooyoung stood straight and got closer, invading Jessica’s personal space.

 

“I don’t.”

 

“You do.”

 

“No. I don’t want to see you in fact. I am going to continue the filming so, go away.”

 

“Oh… Really? Maybe that’s why everyone is packing up now.”

 

Jessica turned to look at the set and realized that they were done for the day – just like how she instructed earlier.

 

“Dinner with me?” Sooyoung offered.

 

Jessica turned to look at her again. “I’ll call room service tonight. Don’t feel like going out.”

 

“Sure. What do they serve for room service?”

 

Jessica sighed. “Don’t play dumb, Sooyoung. You know what I mean.”

 

“I do. I know you don’t mean anything you’re saying right now. It’s your pride talking.

 

I know you too well. Everything you hide. Everything you really mean.”

 

The fact that Sooyoung managed to read through her, somehow made her feel so… exposed which she hates so much. She hates herself for being so exposed to Sooyoung. She managed to hide everything from everyone else, why can’t she hide anything from this tall, dumb idiot.

“NO. No, you don’t. I don’t need you, okay? I’ve changed. I’m independent now. I don’t need you, pathetically visiting me at MV set and pretending tp calm me down. I don’t need that.

 

Go away.”

The words left a bitter aftertaste as they slip through – a good sign that she would regret them later. But Jessica being Jessica, she remained unfaltering.  She looked into the latter’s eyes, trying to convince both of them that she meant what she said.

She noticed how the smile slowly faded away before the latter let out a sigh.

 

“I guess Taeyeon was right.”

Jessica was surprised when Sooyoung mentioned another familiar name – familiar set of names that she has kept in a box, locked and chained, and thrown away to some forgotten space in her heart. She thought it was forgotten. She was wrong.

“She warned me about visiting you,” she heard another sigh from Sooyoung, “She said we need more time apart. I disagreed.” She watched as Sooyoung looked down to the ground and ran her fingers through her short hair. She heard a snicker before Sooyoung resumed, “I wonder why I would crawl back to you like this. I feel so low. Honestly.”

Another snicker.

Her heart twitched when she saw Sooyoung turning around – her back against her, ready to walk away.

 

Her body moved on its own and caught Sooyoung before she could make another step away from her.

 

Sooyoung was stopped by the backhug.

 

“I’m sorry. I rehearsed that dialogue too much. But now I just hate myself.”

 

Sooyoung kept quiet.

 

Jessica pressed herself against the tall girl, her forehead leaning against the thin of her back.

“I’m sorry.

 

Could you please have a dinner with me?”

 

Sooyoung stayed quiet.

She unwrapped Jessica’s arms, making the girl nervous, anticipating her next actions.

She held Jessica’s left hand in her right.

 

Sooyoung resumed her steps and walked away from the scene. Pulling Jessica with her by her hand.

 

“The room service better serve good food,” she mumbled.

Jessica’s eyes brightened at her words. She skipped and hugged Sooyoung’s arm.

“I love you.”

 

 

Sadly, because of their mutual friends, they had to have a normal dinner at the hotel café and the night never seemed to be long enough especially when they had to waste it on someone else rather than spending it all on their own.

But at least, they had a good laugh with good company and it felt just like the old times.

Still missing the other 7 halves, but bearable the very least.

 

Soon enough, it was time to bid farewell.

 

And at that moment, Jessica could feel as if something was slipping out of her grasp. Again.

She could feel she was slowly starting to fade away. Again.

 

“Sica?” The tall girl called her name.

 

She was standing in front of the open car door, ready to say goodbye.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

 

Jessica kept quiet and just stared into the latter’s eyes that were trying to figure her out.

After a sigh, she spoke, “I’m okay. You should go and have a good rest before your early flight tomorrow.”

 

“Um,” Sooyoung replied, “Yeah. I guess.”  She sounded as reluctant Jessica was. “Take care of yourself, okay?” Sooyoung pulled the girl into a hug while Jessica was too surprised to return them.

Sooyoung pulled back and smiled.

“Take care~”

 

 

Jessica watched as everything moved in a slow mo.

 

When Sooyoung disappeared from her sight, her face was replaced with nothing else but bright city lights – she marveled at how they could make her feel so lonely all of a sudden. Suddenly, she felt scared of being lost in its gleam or blinded by its flash.

 

 

I'm finding every reason to be gone

Nothing here to hold on to

Could I hold you?

 

 

When she managed to regained her focus, she realized that Sooyoung’s ride was already driving away from her.

 

.

NO.

She didn’t want to let this go again.

NO.

She knew her pride would get in her way next time.

NO.

 

SOOYOUNG.

“SOOYOUNG!”

She screamed her lungs out. She hastily took off her heel and threw it to the yellow cab that Sooyoung was in.

 

To her surprise, it hit its target. It was a miracle. She couldn't even throw a short, straight pitch, making this a new achievement unlocked.

 

She brightened up when its brake lights lit up.

 

She stumbled to the cab before she saw the passenger door, pushed open.

 

Sooyoung stepped out of the cab to look back, only to stagger back when Jessica crushed into her arms.

 

“PLEASE STAY WITH ME TONIGHT!” she watched as the girl screamed into her chest, still tightly hugging her. “I MISS YOUR SMELL. YOUR ARMS. YOUR SKIN. YOUR LIPS. YOUR VOICE. YOUR LAUGH. YOUR EVERYTHING!

 

STAY WITH ME! PLEASE!”

 

Jessica started to tense up when she didn’t get a respond from the latter but instantly melted into a puddle of goo when Sooyoung finally returned her hug.

She said,

“Well, I was just going to find a light supper before coming back to you. But since you’ve already said it," Sooyoung pulled her back to look at her, “I think I’ll skip that one.”

 

Sooyoung’s heart melted at the sight of that familiar, cheerful smile she managed to put on her Ice Princess’s face.

 

Jessica buried herself in Sooyoung’s arms again.

“Yah.” Sooyoung called out while wrapping and molding herself around the girl.

 

“Um?”

 

“Do you know how much I love you?”

 

Jessica shook her head against Sooyoung’s chest.

“I chose you over food.”

 

“Do YOU know how much I love you?” Jessica asked, looki up at Sooyoung.

 

Sooyoung shook her head.

 

“I threw a 3000 dollar designer heels to stop you from leaving.”

 

 

“Fair enough.”

And they finally started their day/night together with a kiss.

 

 

And that night, two people were saved from getting lost in the bright city lights, when they finally found their way into each other’s arms.

 

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I tried.

I hope the anon is okay with this.

 

Comments?

 

Love,

Hana.