4.01.2012

                “and you? what’s your name?”, he asked me. “Yoon Bora”, i answered him and tried to hold my tears. He smiled at me like nothing ever happen between us. I know i never had a thing with him, but i hope i just hope he remember me. But if he didn’t, it was not his wrong, it was my wrong that i think i was special for him.

I was lying on my bed and think what just happen yesterday when i met Hoya oppa. Is he really forget about me? Without knowing my tears started to flowing down again. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. i was the one that want to avoid him but know when he forget about me i realized that i was wrong. I kept on crying and crying until i fell asleep.

5.01.2012

                I arrived at SISTAR’s dorm, like always i pick them up. I knocked on the door and soon the door opened, i came in and realized that Bora has not come out yet.

                “Bora’s in her room, preparing”, Soyu said and i looked at her, confuse, how could she knew that i was thinking about Bora? “No, i couldn’t read your mind oppa”, she said again. And i frowned because she knew what i think again. Soon Bora’s room’s door opened and Bora came out with puffy eyes. “are you crying?”, i asked. And she nodded her head as her answer. I was about to ask why was she cry when she said, “don’t ask why. Because i don’t know either”. I nodded and tried to understand her, and i failed. On our way to the practice room i kept on thinking why is she crying, what she is crying for and how come i didn’t at her side when she’s crying.

We arrived at practice room and i saw The other’s member already started their practice. They stopped once they already knew we had arrive. I still can feel the tension after the fight yesterday. But yesterday after practice i talked to Jun.K hyung and told him to apologize to Hyorin, which he agreed. When he kept saying that He hate Hyorin and such i know He lied, He love her. And i knew no matter what Hyorin did to him, there is always soft spot in His heart for Hyorin to be forgiven.

15.01.2012

                Today was Jun.K oppa’s birthday. Artist under JYPentertainment tried to give him a surprise birthday, well it was my idea after all. Between the others 2PM’s member i got along with Jun.K oppa the most, but a few days back his behaviour started become really weird. I felt he begin to avoid me, if you asked me why? It was all my fault, so with my little plan on his birthday i hoped he will become the Jun.K oppa that i always respect.

                The day Junho oppa and Bora gone out on January 2nd, Jun.K oppa called me to meet him at the practice room. I left my dorm and headed out toward my destination. When i arrived i saw Jun.K oppa sat, his back against the wall and eyes glued to his phone, alone. I came inside and he looked up, gave me a smile. “sorry i make you wait”, i said. “it’s ok. I just want to show you something, just stay there”, he said and turned the cd player on, he took my hand and began to sing ‘call you mine’ by Jeff Bernat. I really didn’t like the feeling where this is going to.

Let me explain, the vision in my brain

Close my lids and see you, then I get an eye strain

Then the migraine, as I enchain my melody

Me spend the week like my name is Jake Sully

I could be