When Siwon woke up the next morning, Kyuhyun was still sleeping. As he lifted his tired head off of the pillow he noticed that the sun was high in the sky and had been for hours.  In disbelief, his eyes quickly found the clock on his bedside table, confirming that it was already indeed past 11 am.

He let his body collide back with the mattress, regretting that he had slept most of the morning away. Although he didn’t feel like moving, on the inside he was feeling too restless with the thoughts of what the day would bring.

Glancing at his sleeping husband beside him, he smiled weakly. Kyuhyun looked so peaceful now, his lips puffy from sleep and his bangs falling in his eyes. For a moment, Siwon convinced himself that it was just another normal day and that any moment now Kyuhyun would wake up, chastise him for watching him as he slept and then greet him with a kiss.

But reality set in as he listened to Kyuhyun’s soft snores and gazed at the twisted mound of sheets barely covering his ivory skin. Another look around the room and he saw their forgotten clothes half scattered across the floor. In his drunken state, Kyuhyun had clung to Siwon last night, but he knew that if he was the first thing those brown eyes saw this morning, Kyuhyun would not be pleased.

So Siwon slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake Kyuhyun out of his sleep. After stretching his long body, he reached down to the floor to grab the discarded tee and shorts that had been cast off and pulled them on. Creeping out of their bedroom, he left the door open a crack and then walked down the hall towards their kitchen.

It was almost an hour later when Kyuhyun woke up, his eyes fluttering open suddenly without warning. But after only having them open for a few seconds, he immediately closed them once they came in contact with the bright sun light pouring in the room.

With a whine, he rolled over, trying to escape the offensive light and ignore the new pounding sensation he felt in his skull.

As he lay there, slowly becoming more and more conscious,  he tried to piece together the events that led to him reaching his bed. But try as he might, his mind was completely black, as if someone had smudged everything out.

Well, not everything.

What he did remember made him feel an almost tangible heaviness in his heart. He heard Siwon’s screams echoing in his mind and Daerim’s loud, desperate cries. He also remembered all of the rage he’d felt towards Siwon and the sorrow that came with feeling abandoned. The last thing he could see clearly was leaving to go meet Changmin and drink his pain away. But for some reason, what happened after…

Glancing down at his body, he saw that he was partially covered by their bed sheets. The parts that weren’t covered made him quickly realize he was .

He furrowed his brow, really trying to imagine how in the world that could have happened and then choosing instead to just let it go.

Tilting his head back on the pillow, he breathed deeply, attempting to stretch out the heaviness he felt in his limbs. As he inhaled he immediately took in the strong scent of food. He couldn’t place exactly what it was, but he knew that right now, it was quite possibly the worst thing he had ever smelled.

Gripping his stomach, a painful churning sensation suddenly grew causing him to moan. He winced, feeling the nausea quickly take over him as he couldn’t escape the hold of the smell.

Not being able to adjust quickly enough, his head began to spin as he quickly stood up and staggered into their bathroom until he was face first over the toilet.

Siwon was sitting at their table, drinking a cup of black coffee. He was quiet as he stared into the dark liquid, so deep into his thoughts that it took him a moment to actually hear the retching coming from their bathroom.

When his ears finally clued in, he ran down the hall, stumbling into the bathroom only to see Kyuhyun hovering over the toilet.

“Kyu,” he said sympathetically as he dropped to his knees beside him.

“Uggghhhh…why…why I drink so much?!” he heard him whine faintly.

“Because you…wanted to spend some time with Changmin, remember? You know how things get when they two of you are together. You were just excited I guess,” said Siwon gently as he opened up the cabinet beside him to pull out a small clean towel. He didn’t want to immediate fill Kyuhyun’s head with reminders of everything that happened yesterday.

“That’s not why.” Siwon barely heard the incoherent whimpers from Kyuhyun as he ran some water from the tap to dampen the cloth.

Kyuhyun looked absolutely miserable when Siwon turned to look back at him. He was still leaning on the toilet, his head resting against his arm. His forehead was damp with sweat and his cheeks were flushed.

“Kyu, come here,” said Siwon.

Kyuhyun’s eyes opened at the sound of his name and he glanced at Siwon. His eyebrows raised in confusion.

Siwon beckoned him over to him, once again, holding his arms open. His mouth felt dry as he watched Kyuhyun look at him, as if slowly remembering the events that led him to this current position on the floor, cold, sweaty, and hovering above his own vomit. Was this it? Was this the start of how things were going to pan out for them the rest of the day?

Kyuhyun raised his hand up to flush the toilet and then scooted closer so that he could collapse into Siwon’s embrace.

Holding the damp wash cloth in his hand, Siwon gently wiped at Kyuhyun’s lips, helping to erase the stale taste of vomit. He smiled inwardly thinking back to the days when Kyuhyun was pregnant with Daerim and he used to do the same loving gesture. But the difference in the two situations seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks when he remembered why Kyuhyun was like this.

Siwon could feel Kyuhyun shivering against him, the coolness of the bathroom against his flesh making him visibly uncomfortable.

“Kyu, you should get back into bed,” Siwon murmured into the dark softness of Kyuhyun’s hair.

When Kyuhyun said nothing, Siwon moved to sit up, only to freeze when Kyuhyun emitted a low whine.

“No!” he said tightening his grip on Siwon to pull him down again.

“But…you're cold,” reasoned Siwon, not understanding why Kyuhyun was being stubborn.

“I don’t want to move, I still feel nauseas. Just please…hold me like this,” he said rubbing his face into the soft cotton on Siwon’s warm chest.

“Okay,” said Siwon softly, a barely visible smile gracing his lips.

Kyuhyun closed the last remaining gaps of space between their two bodies, trying to steal more and more of Siwon’s warmth for himself.

They were quiet, Kyuhyun finally finding peace and drifting to sleep again and Siwon finding happiness at holding Kyuhyun again after such a hard night.

Siwon Kyuhyun’s hair and embraced him tightly, until he too began to drift off to sleep once again.

                                                            ~

“Wonnie.”

Siwon’s head slowly moved from side to side as he registered Kyuhyun’s voice in his mind.

Was he dreaming?

“Wonnie!” said Kyuhyun more urgently, this time shaking Siwon’s shoulder.

“Wh-what?” asked Siwon sitting up, now more slightly alert as he frowned through his sleepy daze.

“Where’s Daerim-ah?!” asked Kyuhyun now even more determined since he had Siwon’s attention.

“Daerim?” asked Siwon, still trying to process what was happening.

“Yes, Daerim! Our baby?! She’s not in her crib, where is she?” asked Kyuhyun, his voice wavering.

“Your mother has her,” said Siwon rubbing his eyes, he had forgotten that he hadn’t told Kyuhyun about that yet.

Kyuhyun sighed deeply, his stress alleviating as he stood fully erect once again.

It was now that Siwon was fully awake. He saw that he was still sitting in his position from earlier, but that now Kyuhyun was fully dressed and a lot more stable than how he was earlier that day.

He moved to stand up and Kyuhyun backed up, giving him some space.

“I was worried when I didn’t see her. I didn’t know what to think,” said Kyuhyun softly as he looked down.

“I didn’t know what was going to happen…between us last night, so I figured staying with her grandparents was a better option. And your mother lives so close…” said he, though he realized he didn’t really need to explain anymore.

Kyuhyun nodded, folding his arms across his chest as he still avoided Siwon’s eyes.

It was quiet for a few moments, neither of them knowing what to say, but both of them knowing that something had to be done. The tension grew and grew with both of them moving as though they were going to say something, but each stopping, changing their mind at the last minute.

“Is the ah…” started Kyuhyun suddenly.

Siwon’s face lit up, relieved that Kyuhyun was the first to start speaking again.

“…seonji haejangkuk for me?” asked Kyuhyun softly.

Siwon’s eyebrows raised in confusion until he finally remembered.

“Yeah, I tried making you some soup earlier, but…it didn’t turn out so well. So I decided that just ordering something would probably be better. I knew that you’d probably feel sick when you woke up, so…”

“Thanks,” said Kyuhyun weakly. He realized that Siwon’s failed attempt at making soup was probably the smell from earlier he remember having made him nauseas.

Siwon watched Kyuhyun for a few moments. It pained him to see the feelings that Kyuhyun was harboring inside but refused to let out. He could almost see the words forming on his lips, but remaining trapped because he was too afraid to let them out.

“I guess I’ll go and heat it up then,” Kyuhyun shakily as he turned to walk out of the bathroom.

“Kyu, no, wait,” said Siwon lunging forward to grab his arm.

Kyuhyun didn’t need to ask why Siwon wanted him to stop.

“Please…I’m sorry. My G-d…I’m so, so, sorry! If I had known that any of this was going to hurt you so much…I would have never even brought it up—you're right, you deserve your time and I promise that—

“Siwon, don’t—

“No Kyu, I don’t want to keep going on like this. Tiptoeing around isn’t going to fix things between us and I really want to fix things this time. I know saying sorry isn’t going to make our problem go away, but it’s the beginning, so please don’t shut me out anymore,” said Siwon as he placed both of his hands on Kyuhyun’s shoulders. He was determined to be heard and not let Kyuhyun put another door between them.

“I don’t want…” Kyuhyun started, still looking down.

“You don’t want what?” asked Siwon, his heart already beginning to break a little.

“…I don’t want this to go on any longer either.”

Siwon paused, not quite sure where Kyuhyun was going to go with this.

“We’ve had fights in the past, and we’ve always just found a way to get over them, either together or apart. But it always involves someone’s pride being sacrificed. I want to avoid that this time. I don’t want one of us to feel like we’re losing something,” said Kyuhyun finally looking up into Siwon’s eyes.

“But I don’t,” started Siwon, ready to wash away any of the doubt Kyuhyun had in his mind. “It was just one day, but I realize that it’s not even important anymore. You and your happiness is what matters to me.”

Kyuhyun shook his head. “That’s ridiculous Wonnie, and you know it. I may not go to your job with you every day, but I don’t have to work in an office to know that it’s beyond stressful. And I know how much you love basketball and being with the hyungs. For you to even think that you shouldn’t have that makes me feel like a selfish person and I couldn’t live with that.”

Siwon breathed deep and tightened his grip on Kyuhyun’s arms as he could see that he was beginning to lose the hard exterior and expose the vulnerable side underneath.

“Then what do you think is the best way to handle this?” asked Siwon.

Kyuhyun bit his lip and finally shrugged helplessly, tears forming in his eyes.

“Baby, don’t do this. It’s not worth crying over. It’s not even worth us fighting over,” said Siwon pulling Kyuhyun close to him.

“I know…but I just want you to be happy too. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t have the freedom to do what you want. You take care of me and Daerim every day…you deserve a break too,” mumbled Kyuhyun into his chest.

“I feel the same way Kyu. I know it’s hard taking care of Daerim all day by yourself. So I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate that. And it kills me that it can’t be the way it was in the beginning, with the both of us always here. I wish I could change it…I really do,” said Siwon closing his eyes as he felt Kyuhyun fist his shirt.

He rubbed circles in Kyuhyun’s back as he felt the warm tears soak through his shirt.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” croaked Kyuhyun finally, as he raised his head, resting his cheek against Siwon’s shoulder.

“It doesn’t have to be…I’m going to make it better, I promise,” said Siwon, still his back.

“How?” asked Kyuhyun with a frown.

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll figure it out. I don’t want you to stress over it anymore…I just want…are we okay?”

Kyuhyun nodded, tightening his grip on Siwon. He turned his face so that it could nestle against Siwon’s neck.

“I’m sorry Wonnie,” he breathed.

“I’m sorry too Kyu,” said Siwon his hand cupping the back of Kyuhyun’s neck.

They stayed like that, standing in the middle of their bathroom, until Kyuhyun’s stomach began to growl.

Siwon could feel him grin against his neck.

“Do you want to eat the seonji haejangkuk now?” he asked pulling away to look at Kyuhyun who cupped his stomach.

Kyuhyun grimaced as he shook his head.

“What then?” Siwon asked, amused with Kyuhyun’s reaction.

“Could we go out?” asked Kyuhyun softly as he met Siwon’s eyes.

“Sure, where do you want to go?” asked Siwon with a small shrug.

Kyuhyun shrugged shaking his head. “I don’t know…surprise me.”

a/n: So where do you think that Siwon should take Kyuhyun...^^